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Season 2, Episode 72

How a Mother & Son Built an Entrepreneurial Empire John Stankiewicz and Susan Wheeler

1:04:52

About This Episode

"You can't measure up to perfect; don't be afraid to be yourself."

It's not everyday that I meet an amazing person in my space and they tell me that I remind me of their mom. But that's exactly what happened when I met John at a book event. After I learned that his mom was Susan Wheeler, I was impressed by both of them and excited to share their stories with you.

Susan is an author, speaker, and mindset coach who believes in family first. She is a runner who has run more than 25 marathons, half-marathons, and ultra-marathons, starting at age 40. Her role is to help her clients master their mindset so they can live the life they want.

John is an author, business strategy and mindset coach, and network marketer. With over 8 years of personal development training and certification through Growth-U as a mindset coach, he helps people rebuild their mindsets to be in alignment with the best version of themselves.

In this episode, Susan and John share both of their amazing stories of perseverance, success, entrepreneurship, and making the best of your life.

Here's what you will learn:⁣

  • How Susan overcame adversity and started her entrepreneurial journey (2:21)
  • How direct sales work and how you can build your own empire (8:42)
  • Facebook lives--how to do them to build your business and your brand(17:32)
  • Podcasting--how you start and what inspires you (23:29)
  • How Susan and John developed their books and you can too (31:43)
  • How grit is built (39:29)
  • John's process for achieving success (47:51)

Screenshot your favorite part and post to your IG story and tag me @amberlylagomotivation and @susan_vwheeler and @johnstankiewicz so we can see and repost to our stories!

Follow John and Susan

Mentioned in this episode

Hiitide Book Club: I am excited to share that registration for the True Grit and Grace Book Club is now OPEN!!! https://hiitide.com/crews/true-grit-and-grace

Unlock your highest potential and start living the life you deserve!

Read the True Grit and Grace book here and learn how you can turn your tragedies into triumphs!

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Full Transcript

0:11
Amberly Lago

Welcome to True Grit and Grace, a podcast designed to empower you to claim your resilience and thrive through life's challenges. I am Amberly Lago, a mindset coach, fitness expert, and bestselling author. Each week, I'll dive deep with the world's brightest thought leaders and elite performers to share tangible tools and practical advice to inspire you to keep your eyes on the prize and forge ahead. So get ready to conquer your fears, heal any trauma, lead with your heart, and elevate your life with grit and grace. Hi, I'm Amberly Lago. Welcome back to True Grit and Grace. I have such a treat for y' all today. The dream team here with me. I've got John Stankiewicz and Susan Wheeler, and they are both entrepreneurs, both authors, both killing it in the industry. Oh, my goodness. John, I just saw where you have eight years of experience with network marketing, which I really need help with, and I'm hoping to get some tips for me and for the audience. And you've also been a worldwide top 10 income earner in your company for ages 25 and under for the past three years in a row. You inspire me daily through your Instagram post, and the one of you jumping in the ocean had me cracking up. And then, Susan, I've been reading your book. It's called the Lemonade how to persist, persevere and make lemonade when life hands you lemons, which really resonated with me. So I've been excited to have you on the show just to share your wisdom, your inspiration, and tips for being so successful, because you guys are blowing up. And so welcome to the show. Thank you for being here.

2:14
John Stankiewicz

Thank you so much. Amberly. We are so excited, and we're just ready to rock it wherever you want to take it today, we are willing to go.

2:21
Amberly Lago

Well, I originally met you, John, through an Instagram post. Actually, our book was. Both of our books were highlighted on book thinkers, and so we connected. And you reached out through a dm and you said, you remind me so much of my mom. And I was like, what? Who is this? And I was like, well, okay, at least I don't remind him of his grandmother. And then I was like, oh, yeah, sometimes I forget how old I am. And I have a daughter, My oldest daughter, Savannah, I think is your age. But that's what led me to connect with you, Susan, and then look into your story. Susan, can we start with you and just tell us a little bit about your story? Because you are such an incredible mom. You really have turned what could have been a tragedy into a triumph. And I think through all that you have done, you have raised your son right, because now he has become such a. A successful entrepreneur. But also, John, you're so kind and so professional. And so can we start with you and just share a little bit about your journey and how you began your life as an entrepreneur and then got into your book? Sure.

3:42
Susan Wheeler

Awesome. Well, thank you for having me here. You are such a joy to follow. I love your stories and just your positive attitude. So you're my kind of people. And thank you.

3:57
Amberly Lago

Thank you.

3:58
Susan Wheeler

Thanks for having us here. And, John, I know you were on John's podcast, and he gave me such great feedback about you. I said, I have to meet this gal. You know, it's a long story. I'm just going to give you the very short version, but When I was 16, my dad died of a massive heart attack. He was 49 years old, and it was a week before my senior year of high school. So I really didn't have the. The opportunity to do a lot of things that my friends did, like going off to college and we didn't have money, et cetera. And I ended up getting married while I was in high school, which was. I was 17 at the time, and I had a baby when I was 18. And so here I was. I thought my life was going to be. And I don't regret anything at all. And I'm sure, Amberly, you would say the same thing. As hard as things have been that you've gone through, you are who you are and where you are today because of that. So, you know, but I was looking at my life saying, I have more to offer. I knew there was more than just being a mom. And I say just. And I don't mean to take it lightly, but I had this urge to sort of be more and do more and be successful and et cetera. So that is really how, through many trials and tribulations, I became an entrepreneur. Because I realized that I did not want to go back to school. I didn't have the time. I didn't have the money. I didn't have. I wasn't a great student. I didn't want to study and get a degree in something and, you know, spend all those years working towards something, then get a job when I was 50, right? So I ended up getting a. Just getting into being an entrepreneur, getting into direct sales, network marketing. There was a time before that. I owned a bakery. I had a cleaning business. So I did some things on my own, which were hard Work, and I was trading time for money. And then I discovered direct sales, and I was a light went on, and I really got into personal development. And at that time, my two youngest kids were babies, so. So John was old enough so they know nothing different than the mom they have now. But John sort of watched me evolve and direct sales and then eventually network marketing. And John has this entrepreneurial spirit. And so when I got involved in the company I'm with right now, and he'll tell the story, but I knew right away, I said, I want to partner with you. And he wasn't quite ready. And I had to sort of let him do his thing for a while. But when he was ready, he had a great spot in my organization and really took off with it. But it's really.

6:51
Amberly Lago

How old were you, John, when you decided that? When you asked him to partner with you, how old were you at the time, John?

6:59
John Stankiewicz

18.

7:00
Amberly Lago

Oh, wow. Wow.

7:01
John Stankiewicz

Yeah. Yeah, 18 years old.

7:04
Amberly Lago

And you know what? I totally. That resonates with me how you didn't want to go to school, you wanted to do something else. It was the same for me. I had a partial scholarship to UCLA and, you know, packed my bags, moved to California, and I thought, I really don't want to go to ucla. I want to go over here to this dance center and see if I can get on scholarship there. And I did. And my whole career, everything came after, but I didn't go to college. I don't have a college education. And I think sometimes, you know, like, my oldest daughter is very into academics. She's always loved school. She's studying to be a doctor. She just got an offer to go to one of the biggest schools in the country. I'm not supposed to say anything or she'll kill me. But then my youngest daughter is 12 years old, and she already has a business, and sometimes she's sending more packages out than I am. And she doesn't really care much about school, but she is all about the sales. She wakes up first thing in the morning and she's like, well, I sold two more briars up. I got to go to the post office. So I think that it's that entrepreneurial, just that spirit is in us. Sometimes it's just burning in us. And I really understand when you say just a mom, because mom is the most important thing for me in the world. I understand that, like, I want to do more. I want to be of more of an impact. So that totally resonates with me. And when you say direct, you know, Marketing. What. What kind of marketing was that? And what did that look like?

8:50
Susan Wheeler

So the difference is direct sales is literally like a Tupperware. Do you know Tupperware? So you are selling product in mostly a home party situation, which was fun at the time when my kids were younger, but when they got older, I wanted to be at. They were all in sports, and I didn't want to not be. At the end of the day, when they were little, I would be with them. Oh, gosh, I'm sorry.

9:20
Amberly Lago

That's okay. That's okay. Look, I did. Let me tell you, I did this one event and speaking live had like, I think there were a thousand people and my dog was downstairs barking, and I was upstairs and I couldn't. There was nothing I could do. So in the middle of my presentation, I was like, I know y' all hear that. I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do about it. That's okay. This is what. This is what life has become with COVID especially.

9:51
Susan Wheeler

This is live podcasting. And it's funny because I was hearing a gal on our team do it. She had taped something and her dog was barking in the background. She didn't even skip a beat. And I was just laughing about it because I said this could happen. And we usually have someone here that's covering the dogs because they're kind of spoiled, but when they hear something, they go for it. But it's just the two of us today.

10:16
Amberly Lago

So I was kind of the same where I was doing well, I was doing one on one coaching. And I thought, there is only so much time in the day and there is only so much impact I can make with one person at a time. What can I do to make a larger impact? And that's when I started doing the growth group coaching and started doing having trainers that went through my program and then went and trained my way of training with their. Their twist to it. But then that's why I was like, oh, and then I could do a podcast and then I could do a webinar. And my mind is always going to how can I make an impact but still have time for my family and self care? And that's always a balancing act.

11:05
Susan Wheeler

I feel like you're so right. And as much as I loved that and it opened me into the world of personal development and I became a very strong leader. I learned so much. But the one to one and the time and I was really trading time for money was too difficult because it didn't. It just didn't allow me the freedom that I wanted. So we live on a beautiful organic farm in Connecticut and one of my passions is nutrition. So you can only feed so many people within a certain radius. Right. So I really got involved with this company I'm with now because I wanted to make a bigger impact, a global impact with great nutrition because I was so passionate about it. But like I said, I was still limited to that one to one to one. So that to me opened up my eyes to how you can really leverage your time. And I will tell you, the last few weeks I have not slept very much because we have been so busy. We launched a new product. But I have been with this company for nine years and I am still not sleeping at night. And I am a great sleeper. Ok. But when I get excited and fired up, I am not sleeping. I am going to be bed late, I'm up in the morning, I'm ready to go. That's what I love. I just, I'm excited. I have butterflies in my stomach, you know, nine years later. So. So it was really all, you know, up my alley. And I was so glad when John caught the vision too because there really is nothing better than having a business partner that you know and love and trust and that you can really be yourself with. So it's been awesome.

12:59
Amberly Lago

That's incredible. And now what is company called?

13:02
Susan Wheeler

I don't know if we really can say it. John, can we on a podcast to be legit? I don't know.

13:07
Amberly Lago

I mean it wasn't in the show notes but I didn't know. I just was curious because I think,

13:13
Susan Wheeler

yeah, you know what, I can share it maybe later. The thing is they.

13:18
Amberly Lago

It's that good on the down low.

13:21
Susan Wheeler

Yeah. It's not that I don't want to share and if anybody comes to visit my page or whatever, it's not a top secret thing. I think we have to get permission from our company if we're going to be doing something like this. Yeah.

13:37
Amberly Lago

And so typically, especially because this podcast is global, y', all, it's like it is in Ethiopia, Iran, India.

13:46
Susan Wheeler

I'm telling you, it's everywhere. So as soon as this goes live, everyone's going to know and I'm going to get a message from Compliancy telling me that we have to turn it off. So only for that reason I'm not sharing so I can share anything else about it and I can share honestly afterwards. And if people look me up, they're going to know what it is. But.

14:09
Amberly Lago

Well, tell everybody right now that's Listening. I mean, I'm going to have your information, John and Susan, in the show notes. So if you're out for a run or you're in your car, don't start writing this down. It'll be in the show notes. But just tell everybody who's listening the best way to find you.

14:27
Susan Wheeler

So the best way to find me, I'm old school Facebook. I have great Facebook presence. So I am Susan V. Wheeler on Facebook. I also have a great website, which is also susanvwheeler.com and on Instagram, I'm susanvwheeler. But everything can link you up to my products, my book, you know, all sorts of things. And so that's really the best way to connect with me. And you know, Amberly, when I've been doing a lot of podcasts because of COVID and one of the what we've really been promoting, like you said when we were talking earlier, just about getting our launching our book, well, our books were launched two weeks before the world shut down completely. So everything was canceled. And we had to really be innovative and creative. So most of my podcasts, people really want to know about the book. That's really where I've been going.

15:32
Amberly Lago

So I want to backtrack to what you said because we are going get to your book because you have 12 tips in your book. And first of all, your book is so beautifully written and it's easy to read and I am easily distracted. And I loved reading your book. And it's one of the books that. So I was, I bought it a while back and I was like, I wanted to have the book for the show. And I'm like, it's not on my bookshelf. It's not. It's not in my bedroom. It's not. I could not find it. And then I remembered it came to me first thing in the morning, like, oh, I remember her book is in the living room. I have like this little cabinet and I keep my books that I like to read because I'll read a page out of a book every day. So it's either out of a self development book or a spiritual book. And then I screenshot what I've read and I send it to my accountability partner. And I remembered your book is with all my favorite little books that I like to read. So I was like, oh, yeah, of course. I left it downstairs for my morning reading every morning. So that's where your book was. And we will definitely, I have some questions to ask you about it, but for both of you. So you Said, you're old school, Facebook. I feel like I still do not have the hang of Facebook. I mean, I was late. I never had social media. I was on an interview earlier today, and for Yeastack, and I had to do something totally different where he's like, okay, you're going to grab your phone and video yourself. Which is, by the way, like, one of my worst fears. Like, it's so out of my comfort zone to sit there and video myself, he said, and then just send it to me on Facebook. And I'm like, how do I do that? Like, and I looked, and I had a million messages on my Facebook, and I couldn't find him. And I feel like I don't even know where to start on Facebook. It's just hard for me. It's like a different language. Whereas I feel really comfortable on Instagram. Like, I know how to post. I know how to tap. I don't know, because I think I started there. And then wherever you get the most traction is kind of where I stayed. Is Facebook. Where you're. Is that your main hub is Facebook, Susan?

17:55
Susan Wheeler

Yes. I have to say, just because I've been there for years, I do a Facebook Live every Tuesday through Friday with my daughter, who we're starting a podcast together. And that's why we really decided to start the podcast, because when the COVID happened, we were all home. We thought, what can we do to entertain people? So we have been doing this Facebook Live since April of last year, four days a week. It started with John, and John loves to sit and be quiet and read and meditate and do all his morning routine. So my hyping energy for him in the morning was kind of like, okay, so. But really, it ended up being great because my daughter and I just really have such good energy together, and it's just been so much fun. But Facebook is where I work.

18:48
Amberly Lago

I just requested you.

18:50
Susan Wheeler

I will accept that.

18:54
Amberly Lago

There you go.

18:55
Susan Wheeler

There we are. Okay, I'll accept it.

18:57
Amberly Lago

And I'm blown away that you go live that often. Do you know I just went live for the first time on Facebook last week, and it was only because I did this speaking event, and part of the VIP ticket was you would go live in their private group. So I get on my computer. Do you know I didn't even know how to go live on Facebook. I had to Google it. And you had to learn yet. And so here I am. Had no idea. So I am so impressed right now. You have inspired me to go live more, and I'm gonna watch your Lives, watch them.

19:34
Susan Wheeler

They're funny. And the key is not to overthink. And I think that that is so important. People are attracted to people they know like and trust. So we'll get on in the morning with no makeup and our hair in a mess, whatever it might be. I mean, we're not horrible. We don't just roll out of bed. We have a coffee, whatever. But I think people really appreciate the fact that we are being real and authentic and we're not scripted. We never. It doesn't matter what happens. We make it go live anyway. Right? We don't edit, is what I'm trying to say. It's just. It goes, and we're just good with it. So. Yeah.

20:21
Amberly Lago

And I think that is what people want. Real. And, you know, and I always am blown away that, like, one of my top engaged posts was one that my daughter took a picture of me, and I have no makeup on the baseball cap, and I'm pulling up my pants, showing that I'm like, shoe shopping something silly. I'm like, really? I've hired photographers to take pictures. And then people like the one that is just me being goofy or silly. So that really resonates to go live, be real, get out of your comfort zone, and just do it and share it anyway, even if it's not perfect. And be you, because that's who people want to see. I feel like you can feel when someone's not genuinely themselves or they're trying to be a certain way. I don't know. I feel like, yeah.

21:15
Susan Wheeler

And you can't measure up to someone who's perfect. You just can't. It makes you feel less than. So if you just show who you really are, people think, wow, well, I could do what Susan Wheeler does because, you know, she doesn't have any makeup on, and she's. She's not afraid to do this. So, yeah, it's cool. It's cool.

21:35
Amberly Lago

Well, that's really inspiring. And, John, I got to see you and Clubhouse the other night. You popped in. I don't even remember which room it was, but I love that. You know, I'm so honored that I got to be a guest on your podcast. And I see you on Instagram and all the businesses that you're doing, and you pop in on Clubhouse, and you're killing it there. I wanted to ask you, before we get into a little more about what you do, which is your main pub for you to promote business, or where do you see the most? Not even engagement, but I guess where do you get the most of your business from.

22:15
John Stankiewicz

Yeah, it's definitely Instagram so far. And I do, I have Instagram, I have my podcast. And Facebook is pretty good as well because the majority of our network marketing team is there. But I primarily focus on Instagram just because that's where my age group is. And I feel like with my age at least when you meet somebody, one of the first places you go to kind of check out what they're about, what they're doing is Instagram. It's like a resume. So I really focus my efforts there. For sure.

22:41
Amberly Lago

I think so too. I remember when all that started to change because back in the day when I would go to a networking event, everybody had business cards that they would pass out. And then Instagram came along and you don't even need business cards. When I'm out, I'm, you know, back before COVID at events, the first thing you would say is, oh, what's your Instagram handle? And that is really kind of. I hate to say this, but it's kind of your scorecard. It gives you your credibility. When I first first started speaking, there were sometimes I would go to an event and some of the speakers would not give me the time of day because I wasn't verified yet. I only had a couple of thousand followers. And my youngest daughter was going just yesterday, she's like, mom, I want to go look at some of your very first Instagram posts. And I said, brubi, they're really bad. They're terrible. I said, but I leave them up. So people see that, you know, you just have to start. And sometimes it's not great. And it's. Mine was nowhere near perfect. I didn't know what I was doing, but I just started and I leave those there because I know some people will delete those first accounts. And it just looks like they started and all of a sudden from the get go, they had 2000 likes per post. And I'm like, no, I want people to see that. Four years ago I had 12 likes or one comment, you know what I mean?

24:12
John Stankiewicz

Totally agree.

24:13
Amberly Lago

But I think that Instagram for me has brought me the most business as well. And then tell us about your podcast because it is high energy. Just the listening to the opening is just gets me pumped up. Before you even introduce your guest, the music that you picked everything for it. So tell us about your podcast. What's your it called and what inspired you to start a podcast?

24:41
John Stankiewicz

Totally. Well, it's funny, we were talking about back and forth before we started recording the Episode how you and I kind of just jumped into the podcast game with no real idea what we were doing, no real plan. We just did it. And for me, the reason I started my podcast was because my mom and I both published our books in last year. Now, that's crazy to say it's been this year for so long, but last year, in March of 2020, and that was two weeks before we all got put on quarantine from COVID while we had this whole book tour planned. And leading up to that, did y'

25:13
Amberly Lago

all have book signings lined up at stores?

25:15
John Stankiewicz

We didn't have stores, but I had four or five different events in different cities to go and, you know, present Speak, Train, and have the books available. So we had to pivot. And we had spent 14 months leading up to that. I was living in New York City. I was running my business. I was working at a nightclub on the weekends to kind of network and writing 2 to 10 hours every single day consistently. So we put so much time and effort into these books that when we launched them and we had to face that we were going to be in quarantine, we had to pivot. So my book and the whole premise of it is really my story. From getting kicked out of high school, not being able to afford college at first, then getting into college and having this entrepreneurial spirit unlocked, and all of our businesses, we ran out of our dorm room, living overseas in Italy, and the eventual success we had with our network marketing business. So I taught all. Like, basically the theme was how the most important things we learn in life to become successful come from outside of traditional school. So to get that message out there, I was like, I think it'd be cool to start a podcast, which is called the Unconventional Education Show. And I just wanted to talk about entrepreneurship, mindset, and life experiences to help people level up and become the best version of themselves in life. So that's really what it's about. I've had on amazing guests like you. We've had a great episode together that I got such great feedback for, but it's really been such a cool tool to network. Just bring value out to the world and meet some new people. Like, it's been awesome. So, yeah, we've been going seven months. Every Monday and Thursday, there's a new episode, and I feel like we're just getting started.

26:43
Amberly Lago

Oh, my goodness. Well, I'm blown away. First of all, that you do two episodes a week, because I know how much work goes into just one episode. The editing, the promotion, making videos IGTVs for it post for all of that. I know. And I have to say, out of all the podcast interviews that I've done, I got the most people reach out to me after listening to your podcast. So I was blown away. You've got a huge audience, and it's because you do such a great job at it. And I was just like, wow, I'm so grateful I had the opportunity to be on your show. And I look, I would rather learn from someone who has that real life experience of, you know, doing business in your dorm room, you know, working on the weekends, and then still making no excuses, but writing every single day. That's one of the things that people ask me a lot, is, well, I want to write a book. Do you know, I think there's like 80% of people in the world want to write a book, but the percentage of people that actually do it is just a fraction. I think it's like 1%.

27:58
John Stankiewicz

I believe it.

28:00
Amberly Lago

And so the fact that you did it and you're so young and you have your life ahead of you and that both of you were able to pivot and figure out ways to still make impact, even though we're locked down by doing Facebook lives, by doing your podcast. But I want to know, what businesses were you doing out of your dorm room?

28:21
John Stankiewicz

Oh, man. Which ones can I talk about in the podcast? No, I'm just kidding. I don't know.

28:26
Amberly Lago

What businesses were you doing?

28:28
John Stankiewicz

So going back, because my mom said she introduced me to network marketing. When she first got involved and I was 18 years old, I was like, I'm going to go become a physical therapist. I don't know how this applies to me. You go do your thing. And I didn't really see an opportunity in it for me. So I went away to school. After commuting to a community college for the first year, I got transferred into the University of Connecticut, the main campus. And I was pursuing this physical therapy path. And that first semester I went away, my best friend came to me with a different network marketing opportunity. And so I remember my mom called me. She was at an event, and we had just released this new Energy Shop product. She's like, john, we have this new Energy Shop product. We're going to be able to grow your network and you'll be able to get so many young people on board. I'm like, mom, that's great for you and your young people, but I have $600 worth of energy drinks being shipped to our house right now, and I'm starting different Network marketing business. And she supported me. She plugged me into all the resources I need. She probably would have killed me if she could, but she was a good, loving mother and supported me throughout it. But that was my first venture. And we were having people come to our dorm room every night, casting them the vision, showing them what's possible because this light bulb went off in my head of creating residual income. My whole life I thought I had to go to school, get a good degree, get a good job, work for 40 years that was successful. And network marketing turned that all upside down. So we were building a big organization at UConn. We were growing to other college campuses. I was borrowing this girl's car in my hall to go do events on the weekend to other campuses because I didn't have a car at that point. And what happened was after about six months, I kind of realized that the company I was with, I really didn't align with the integrity of how they did things. But I had saw my mom who, she didn't mention this. So she never went to college. But a year and a half into the business, she was on track to earn a six figure income. And to date she has 40,000 people in her organization, which is insane. But I saw people getting real results there with our health products. I saw people making real money. And I was like, I'm going to go build this with her. Thought it would be a seamless transfer over. Not one person followed me to that business. But so I kind of started building on the side. Not with as much intensity as I did with that first network marketing business, but that inner entrepreneur was unlocked. So we had businesses where we were flipping textbooks during finals week. We would research all of these books and where these final exams were happening. And I would stand outside lecture halls and offer classes of 250 people, every single person to buy their book as they walked out. And in some of those weeks between our team of five, we'd profit from 15 to $20,000 just from going all in and just grinding textbooks. Yeah, it was insane. We had another one. We were busing students to and from off campus parties and events, which really just lasted one event because the first one we went to, we got to the event, a student fell down the stairs of the bus, puked all over the sidewalk. And they refused, the bus companies refused to do businesses with us that wow.

31:13
Amberly Lago

So it's the things that you learn along the way that like the responsibility and things that are out of your control that you really have to protect yourself totally. I Mean, that reminds me, I, the only time I had anybody ever hurt themselves when I was training them was I was training this huge football player. I mean, probably six, six. His dad was even taller, over 300 pound, huge guy. But he, his dad wanted him to be tougher. So they hired me. I'll never forget this huge guy, like almost 7 foot, comes walking in the gym. I'm the only female trainer in the gym. And he walks over to me and says, are you Amberly? And I was like, yes. He goes, I want you to train my son. And all the other guys that were like these big buff guys were like, like, why her? You know. But I got hired to train her, his son, to go watch the football teams, see what he was, you know, needed to work on more. He needed more aggression. So I was teaching him aggression and he had to run through. I hired one of my friends to hold pads for me and he had to run and bust through the pads. Well, he did it and he kept running instead of stopping. And he went face first into to some machines, broke his nose, blood is everywhere. I was like, oh my God. And thank goodness, you know, that's what insurance is for. And I've got, I had great insurance. But until you go through situations like that and you learn liability and about insurance and about protecting yourself and waivers and all that stuff, it's like the experience, even if it's not pretty, teaches you important lessons. And so it sounds like you have learned some important lessons along the way. As an entrepreneur, what do you think is the most important lesson that you've learned along the way?

33:18
John Stankiewicz

I think it's that you have to learn to fall in love with failure because you're going to fail. It's a necessary ingredient for the journey. And I think a lot of people don't start because they're afraid of failing or they fail once and they're like, ah, this isn't for me. But it's within those failures that you learn the lessons that equip you with the skills that you need to maintain the success when you finally get it. And that's really like all these different businesses. There was more than that. But I just remember graduating. I got my degree in applied mathematics and economics, and five days after graduation, I was set to move to Italy because of our network marketing business paying me more money residually weekly than most of my friends were making. Going to what I like to call the cube farm. And I just remember thinking like, wow, everything that I've learned to become successful to this point has come from outside of the classroom. Hence why my book is called beyond the Classroom. That's when I first had the idea. But a main component of my book that's a recurring theme are all the failures I went through. And I think that through the failures, you find out what you're good at and what you're bad at. You find out what you like and don't like. And it's just this funneling process that gets you to a point where you're equipped with the skills necessary. You know what you're good at, you know what you like, and it gets you to that perfect point to explode with whatever opportunity you've pivoted to.

34:34
Amberly Lago

Yeah. Or as my good friend C. Rock always says, you use those failures as rocket fuel to just launch you into an even higher level. And I agree. I think that sometimes when we have failures, we feel. Feel stuck or we feel like we're just a screw up or we'll never amount to anything. That's at least some of the times that thoughts that have gone through my head. But I think that through the failures, I've learned grit. I think the only way that we can really build resilience and build grit is by doing hard things and by messing up. And you know what? Some of my biggest lessons have been I've learned through, through failures. And now I wanted to ask you, did both of you write your book at the same time? So were you going through the writing process at the same time?

35:27
John Stankiewicz

Mom, I'll let you share this one.

35:29
Susan Wheeler

Okay, so this is funny. So I've been writing my book for years. Years. And I'm a mom of four kids. I have seven grandchildren actually, and an entrepreneur. We have a farm. We have a busy life and a lot of distractions. So the writing of my book was kind of here and there and I would have chapters written in notes. So when John was living in Manhattan in 2019, so he messaged me, he had a great apartment and a really great schedule. And he said, mom, I'm ready. I'm going to start writing my book. And I said, oh, that is so great. I've been encouraging him for years. And he said, but I'm afraid that I'm going to finish my book before you do. And I said, oh no, game on. Let's go.

36:18
Amberly Lago

So 2019, little competitive family there, I

36:22
John Stankiewicz

see, is all out of love.

36:26
Susan Wheeler

Exactly. I think you need that. Just like you should have an accountability partner. John was my virtual accountability partner. And, and we would just say, oh, I had a good day writing Or I'm in the coffee. What are you doing? I'm in the coffee shop. Writing. John would write a lot at the club he belonged to. Beautiful gym. And so we were really doing it together. And we self published our books through our LLCs and we had to learn a lot. And in doing that, we have a lot of people that we are helping, not with the writing process, but the process. The process, yeah. It's a big process. And thankfully I had John, who was constantly figuring things out and finding things out. And we made a lot of mistakes and we learned. So there you are, the failures. Right. It comes to success, and we definitely want to help other people because it's a process that people don't understand. But that's what happened. We definitely had a little competition. And his book was published a couple of days before mine because mine kept getting rejected because there was something wrong with the spine that it just. They're so technical about the way everything has to be perfect. And I'd wake up in the morning and it was rejected. And I'd wake up in the morning and it was rejected. And the morning it went live would have been my dad's 90th birthday. And it was so incredible. And I wrote a chapter in there about when my dad died and sort of the struggle I had to come to. You know, I had a lot of regrets about that day. I wasn't very nice to him. And so I. For many years, I wanted his forgiveness, of course, but he was gone. And, you know, we need someone to say, it's okay, I accept your apology. And I really felt like that was him speaking to me. And I've gotten over this years ago.

38:38
Amberly Lago

We. I know, but you're making me cry right now because I really do believe in that. I believe that everything happens in divine timing. And I really believe that.

38:50
Susan Wheeler

Yeah, it really was. So it made sense to me. And the date didn't ring a bell until I was going through the day and I thought, oh, my gosh, this is dad. You know, he never saw me grow up. He never saw my children. He's never seen my grandchildren. He never saw me become a successful woman. I'm an ultra marathon runner. He never saw any of that. And it just made me feel like he was just watching and saying, yeah, I'm so proud of you and this is your day.

39:22
Amberly Lago

Yeah. But also, I'd like to go back to something because you're not just a marathon runner. I mean, a marathon runner itself is like a big deal, but you overcame a lot. Where you had a really horrible accident where some people would have probably just given up and laid in bed forever. And can you tell us a little bit about that and what happened and your mindset to get to become a marathoner?

39:56
Susan Wheeler

Sure. So When I was 34, I was an entrepreneur. Still hadn't found the company I'm in love with now, but I had a house cleaning business and we live in a rural area close to New York. And so a lot of people have weekend homes from the city and they'll come on the weekend, but during the week they just want their house to get it ready for the weekend when they come, so they don't want to spend their time doing that. So I had a lot of clients that just wanted beds made and dishes done and run the vacuum, etc. So I went into this house this day when I was 34, and there was a loft bedroom balcony that had a spiral staircase leading up to it and a railing that overlooked this living room 14ft below. And I was cleaning that bedroom and I noticed that between the railing and the floor jutted out a little bit, was dusty, and I was never hitting it with the vacuum cleaner. And that day the sun just hit it, right? And I said, oh, gosh, that looks terrible. So I grabbed the railing, grabbed it cloth, leaned in to dust it, and I fell headfirst 14ft into the living room below.

41:10
Amberly Lago

So did the railing give way or.

41:13
Susan Wheeler

Yeah, it just came right out of the. Came right out of the floor because what happened?

41:17
Amberly Lago

So the whole railing just gave way

41:19
Susan Wheeler

and you went straight over. And of course, if there was no railing there, I wouldn't have fallen because I wouldn't have trusted it. But I wasn't even thinking. I just grabbed it and leaned forward so I could lean together at the floor. And next thing I found myself falling and I ended up breaking all my ribs. I broke my left elbow, I shattered my pelvis, I broke my back. I had bruising around my heart. It was an accident. It was a fall that absolutely kills people because when your bones break, you're having internal injuries and the whole nine yards. And there was an angel somewhere there that day, because I did not. I was really broken, but I didn't have any internal injuries, which was such a blessing. And it took me a long time to recover, but I wasn't focusing on. I was focusing on it could be worse. And this is what I have. And I will fast forward to six years later. I ran for the first time in my life, a race. And it took me months as you know, an injury. I was reading about your injury and my heart just went out to you because I know what it takes to recover. Mine was just time. It was time. It was healing. I didn't have one surgery. It was time.

42:50
Amberly Lago

You didn't have one surgery?

42:52
Susan Wheeler

Not one surgery, no.

42:55
Amberly Lago

That is unbelievable.

42:58
Susan Wheeler

Yeah. The way everything was broken and I wasn't even casted at all because when you shatter your pelvis, it's just a mobility issue. You have to be immobile and your back and all that. So I was in the hospital.

43:13
Amberly Lago

So how long were you immobile?

43:16
Susan Wheeler

I was in a nursing home for about a month after the hospital, but they wanted. I really realized quickly that laying in bed was no fun and I could either progress as quickly as I could, and so I did that. So I was about a month in there, but I went home with a wheelchair and a walker. I was getting around, but I did stairs pretty quickly after I came home. None of it was pretty by any means. I walked with a limp. I was in a lot of pain. It was a struggle. However, I had John at home, who was little at the time.

43:56
Amberly Lago

How old were you, John, at the time?

43:59
John Stankiewicz

Two or three, right?

44:00
Susan Wheeler

Yeah.

44:01
John Stankiewicz

I don't remember this.

44:02
Amberly Lago

You don't? But you know what? My daughter was 2 year. My old oldest daughter was a teenager. My youngest daughter was only two when I had my motorcycle accident. And there were days when I was laying in the hospital bed that we had downstairs after I got out of the hospital. And I would think, I'm in so much pain. I'm just nauseated from all the pain. I don't know how I'm going to get through this. I would hear my little daughter, her 2 years old, her little voice go, Mama. And it was like, I am up. Ok, what can I do? I am sitting up. I am going to give myself a sponge bath. My goal is to use the bathroom on my own today and not use a bedpan. It was crazy because, I mean, I went from being an athlete to. I had bed sores because I was bedridden for like three and a half months. And it is crazy how fast your. Your life can change in. In the blink of an eye. And so your mindset of what you could do and how it could have been so much worse. It sounds like you were really grounded in gratitude. And you had John probably running around wanting you to do things for him, I'm sure. Did that help get you up and going as well?

45:23
Susan Wheeler

He was great. John was really an awesome little boy and I loved his company and he was not demanding. He was probably one of the easiest of my kids when he was little, but it definitely motivated me. And his dad and I had separated, so I was on my own. And I didn't have an income. I didn't have a good insurance plan, I didn't have savings and I couldn't work. I was bartending and house cleaning at the time, so I was motivated to not lose my life. You really realize how quickly you could become homeless. I had friends and family. I wouldn't have been homeless. But when you think about it, I did not want to lose my home that I worked so hard to buy and et cetera. So I was really motivated to heal,

46:22
Amberly Lago

which there's a lot of people going through that right now, not that have been through a horrible accident, but that have just lost their jobs because of COVID I mean, I'm in LA and everything shut down here. We're like the epicenter for Covid and things are still shut down. I'm hoping when this airs, maybe it'll. You never know. Things are changing so quickly. But what. What did you do to get out of that? If you couldn't work, how did you start working again? Or is that when you started doing the marketing now?

46:55
Susan Wheeler

Well, so during. That's kind of when I was introduced to it, which is funny that I'm thinking of it now when we're saying this. I went to a Tupperware party and the gal approached me. I wasn't working, so I couldn't buy much, but it was a night out. And my girlfriend picked me up and I wanted to get out of the house. And she said the gal was. The distributor, was adorable. And she said, would you like to do this? And I thought, well, you know, I can't really. Plastic isn't very heavy. And I could probably figure it out. So I ended up selling Tupperware for about six months. I didn't love it, but what I did love was the people. And I also realized that my customers loved me because I had this magnetic way of really just making people feel warm and welcomed. And sure, if I was going to sell a few bowls in here, here and there, that was great. So I wasn't really driven to make a lot of money with that, but it showed me that there was something more. And that was sort of my first thing leading me into looking at some of these companies because I didn't really know really what it involved or what existed. And from there I went to direct sales and then network marketing, which is the Bentley, of all the network marketing companies. It's just amazing.

48:18
Amberly Lago

Well, you know, I think that's exactly it. I don't. I don't have a background in sales. I don't have a background in marketing at all. I'm, you know, figuring things out as I go. But what I've learned is people will buy because of you. It's not necessarily your product or what. And it's interesting because my book has been out for a couple of years, and I've had people that have followed me for a year, and it's taken them a year of, like, getting to know me and reading my post or whatever, and they're like, I just. I finally bought your book. And I'm like, wow, that took a year. So my goal is to try to get people to know me better or quicker. How can I get out there to get to know people more? Because my favorite part of my whole book journey has been connecting with people. You know, I don't know. I know some people make money on books. I certainly have not made a lot of money on books. It's a best seller. That's a whole other story about. I should do a podcast just on the publishing traditional hybrid and, you know, all of that. But, yeah, it's because they like you, Susan. They want to be around your magnetic energy. You're real. They can trust you. And so they're like, that's exactly why I have a friend who I don't like doing those energy drinks or any of that. But because I like her, for Christmas, she sent me some of them. And because I like her so much, I'm like, well, this is what she drinks and she likes this. Well, I'll order some. And so that's why I ordered them. And yeah, and I actually do like them.

50:10
Susan Wheeler

Right, right. Actually, it wasn't a pity purchase. Well, here's the thing, Amberly. The book really shows I felt it was important to tell my story because we were at an event this weekend, this past week in the Outer Banks, and I told my story a couple of times because I was the mindset person speaking at the event. And what I was explaining was people see me now and they see Susan Wheeler, the marathon runner, the top income earner in a network marketing company, leading the big team, and all these different things that I've done, author, etc. But they don't know that I worked to get here. And I faced a lot of adversity. And my message and why I tell my story is because everybody faces adversity in My book, there's not a chap, not one chapter that one person can't relate to. Everyone can relate to, to something in there. And for me, I feel like when you're looking at someone who is successful and you realize you have that common something, you know, then you, there's hope for you. And that's why I tell my story. I never tell my story to brag. I tell my story to show people that you can do this too. And just quickly, I want to touch on when I became a marathon runner. That was six years of really struggling to just walk again. A very good friend of mine, one of my best friends at the time, was diagnosed with cancer and she was pregnant with her third son. And I wanted to support her in a way that didn't require. I didn't want to shave my head and have people think, are you sick, Susan? I didn't want anyone to misunderstand. So I thought, what could I do? That is really hard. And I had never run before, but we have a race in our town and every year I would go and watch and say, next year I am going to train for this seven mile race. I never did. But that year I had three weeks to train a body that was broken and arthritic and. Three weeks, three weeks. And I didn't care about winning the race. I didn't care about racing the race. Ok, this was a race that people will even get out there and walk and do it in two hours, the local people, but it attracts people from Ethiopia, all over the world, really competitive runners. And I did that race in an hour and 12 minutes. And I did it to support Lisa. I thought if she has to go through chemotherapy while she's pregnant, what's the hardest thing I can put my body through? And that race was I can relive it in a second. It was just so amazing. But it was the catalyst for me realizing that you can push your body to do things that you never thought it was capable of. And when you do one thing in one area of your life, that gave me the strength and the courage and the determination that yes, I can be a top income earner in a company that I'm just as capable as anyone else if I'm going to do the work and face the rejection and everything to get there. So one thing led me to the next, to the next, to the next. And before you know it, my longest race today is 36 miles. And I did that in. Well, no, the Grand Canyon was 33 miles. I think this one was in Our the Appalachian Trail. And I am a top leader in our network marketing company.

54:03
Amberly Lago

And that is amazing. I mean, thank you for sharing that. I love that you are so real and you share that. Look, I was cleaning houses, I was waitressing, I was doing whatever I could to get, you know, to pay the bills. Then you realized you had this gift. And I think by doing those hard things, like you running the marathon, you had to have a purpose that really lit that fire in you, that gave you that drive to do that. So I think it's important when you find what is your purpose, what is your intention. And I do believe that mind, body and spirit, it all works together. And I feel like when we move our bodies, it does move our mood, it moves our mind. And. And I love that story of that is really the definition of grit and grace right there. I love that you guys see why

55:05
John Stankiewicz

I thought you'd get along so well now.

55:06
Amberly Lago

Yeah. Yes.

55:08
John Stankiewicz

I knew it. John.

55:09
Amberly Lago

John knew it. He called it. And. And you know, I think a lot of times it looks easy on social media. Like people like, oh, I have a best selling book or new podcast launch or new episode and it looks easy. Or I'll never forget when my book launched and I was on a book tour traveling all over the United States and I was bled. It was a dream come true to get to do these things. I was exhausted. It was just me. I still don't have anybody that runs my social media or any of that. I do it all. I do have a team now that helps me with things, but I was not prepared. And I remember somebody messaged me and said, oh, wow, lucky you. You're having the time of your life. And I'm like, yeah, that's what I want to enjoy. The moments in between, like in the dash, you know, it's not when you start or finish, but it's the journey in between. That dash where you really live life to the fullest. But it's not always easy. Like you starting out in the dorm room and building up your entrepreneurial mindset and skill set just by that and then writing your book. But you carved out the time to do that. And now as far as, like, John with your podcast, do you have a team that helps you or are you doing that all on your own?

56:46
John Stankiewicz

I'm doing it on my own, but I have a system in place that's really simple. Like, I record and I have it ready to post in like 10 or 15 minutes. But like, any of that stuff, like carving out the time to make it Happen. You taking the time and making your book happen and the book tour happens, it just all comes from a decision. It's like if you just decide to do something and really make the decision that this is going to happen by any means necessary, you're going to get it done. I feel like too many people are just 50, 50. They're like they want to do something. Like you said in the beginning, 80% of people want to write a book. But I bet it's less than 1% actually follow through with it because I'm sure you experience this in that process. You start chapter one or just start with your outline. You're like, damn, I have a lot of work ahead of me. Me. And when people realize that it took me four serious stabs at going all in on this book before I actually committed to it. And it's because the fourth time I simply just made a decision. I was like, I'm doing this damn book, whatever it takes. I was like two hours a day minimum. I'm working on it. And I just reached a point in my life where I had this idea in my head for four years, like, what am I waiting for? And so it's just that decision. That's really all it is.

57:50
Amberly Lago

I love that. Yeah, it is just a decision and then sticking to it. It's the discipline of sticking to it. Well, do you have daily habits in place that are non negotiables for you?

58:04
John Stankiewicz

Yeah, my morning routine is very non negotiable. I read for about an hour, sometimes more. Every morning I do my gratitude, my meditation, visualization and just. And another big one that I would suggest to people is no screens for the. Until you complete your morning routine or. Or if you don't do a set morning routine the first half hour hour of the day. Cause I think one of the first things people do is look over, look at their phone. They're bombarded with texts, emails, DMs, and they get put into reactive mode instead of starting their day on their terms, in proactive mode. So when you start, when you're in control, it just leads to a series of wins. So each day to day, like business wise, we have a lot going on. So it may look different every single day. But yeah, I mean, I start there and I figure out what I need to accomplish for the day and then just go for it. But it's cool because we have some serious flexibility and freed from what we've created with our network marketing business that allows us to really design what that day looks like.

58:58
Amberly Lago

Yeah. And I mean, I see all the different things that you're doing. You're. You have a clothing line, you have a course that you can take, the podcast plus your business, and I'm amazed. And so that's why I wanted to ask you if you had some like a morning ritual or routine or non negotiables. And I do the same. I want to grab my phone first thing in the morning. Like, I really want to. It's like it's an addiction. I can say it. I need, I already need Clubhouse Anonymous. So if you find out any Clubhouse Anonymous meetings, let me know. Are you finding that being on Clubhouse is driving your business? Driving?

59:41
John Stankiewicz

I think we've been huge advocates. I know you said you just joined our Facebook group that we have for branding yourself, but yeah, we hopped on there and, and not only, like, I saw a massive increase in downloads on my podcast, but since Clubhouse is a platform where you can follow somebody and get in rooms with them, but you can't really have a conversation via messages or see what everything that they have is all about. So it leads right back to your Instagram profile. And I've noticed a lot of growth on Instagram, a lot of growth in our Facebook group. And it's just because, like, when there's new platforms like that come out, you're rewarded with free attention because they want you to spend more time on that platform. And other than that, like, it's just the perfect platform for the time that we're in because people are craving that human connection. And in Clubhouse, you just bypass that. We're just a social media avatar. We're like this perfect looking page on Instagram. On Clubhouse, you're immediately hearing people, you're hearing their tone and you're connecting with them in real time. So it just really expedites that relationship building process in a time that it's so needed. But yes, I've had to kind of set limits because like you said when we were talking before, it's easy to get sucked up in there for hours. Which the first week I was on there for a week nonstop, and then I was like, all right, I need to kind of pick like an hour a day and I'm good. And you have to be kind of firm with that.

60:57
Amberly Lago

I agree. Yeah, it's easy. And then all of a sudden one day I looked and I was like, oh my gosh, I've been added on the schedule to all these different rooms and I can't do that. I felt the overwhelm, you know, and it was like no, you are in control. I always say, my plate's so full, and I'm like, But I'm the one who filled it. It's up to me to take some things off of there, make sure I'm scheduling in some time for breaks and all that good stuff. But, yeah, y' all, please check out the podcast. And, Susan, you have a podcast coming out soon. It's launching soon.

61:35
Susan Wheeler

It's launching soon. It's my daughter and I, and our last name is Wheeler, and it's called Free Wheeling, and it is so cute. So it's from the perspective of we're 40 years age difference. So it's my youngest daughter and I, and it's really. We talk about all kinds of stuff you can see on our Facebook Live. On our Facebook Live, we don't know what we're going to say when we turn on the live, but on our podcast, we'll be more organized and we'll have time and it'll be cool and fun, and I'm super excited.

62:08
Amberly Lago

Oh, and you also check out the Unconventional Education Show. John's podcast is amazing. Find both of them. You can find. Go in the show notes. You can find them there. And also, if you found some value in this or some inspiration, just take a screenshot and share it on Instagram and tag us again. That Susan underscore. Is it Susan V. Wheeler? Is that right? Okay. And then John Stankovic. I always feel like I'm going to butcher your last name.

62:43
John Stankiewicz

It's all good.

62:45
Amberly Lago

So tell us, John, where they can find your podcast, your website, hang out with you on Instagram. Let's do a clubhouse room together sometimes.

62:56
John Stankiewicz

Yeah, we totally will. We totally will.

62:58
Amberly Lago

But tell us where you can find everybody, where they can find you.

63:03
John Stankiewicz

Yeah. Best place that I'm pumping out free value is on my podcast. So it's on all platforms. It's just called the Unconventional Education Show. You should definitely start with listening to the episode I did with Amberly. It was absolutely fire. And then, yeah, connect with me if you want to. I always respond to all my DMs. Unless it's some type of scam. It's just John Stank. So I think you're gonna put that in the show notes because my last name can be a little difficult to spell, but if you follow me there, shoot me a dm. Would love to have a conversation with you.

63:31
Amberly Lago

Oh, hey, thank y' all so much for taking the time to be on the show. I feel like I could talk to you all day long. I'm just so glad I finally got to meet you kind of face to face. Susan and John, thank you for bringing us together. Thanks for coming on. Thanks for having me on your podcast. Podcast as well. I just appreciate you so much.

63:53
John Stankiewicz

We appreciate you too Amberly. Thank you for having us on and can't wait to listen to this back. This was awesome.

63:58
Amberly Lago

Thank you.

63:58
Susan Wheeler

Awesome. Thank you.

63:59
Amberly Lago

Thank you. Thanks so much for joining us this week on True Britain Grace Podcast. If you like it, please rate it or share it with your friends. That would help too. If you're not yet on the newsletter list, come over to amberlylago.com and jump on it. While you're there you can grab a free downloadable gratitude journal and you might just want to check out my book or even check out my monthly motivational membership. Thanks again for tuning in and we'll see you next week. Sam.

Pain to purpose to joy.

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