The Power of Passion and Perseverance with Kim Gravel

Welcome to True Grit and Grace, a podcast designed to empower you to claim your resilience and thrive through life's challenges. I am Amberly Lago, a mindset coach, fitness expert, and best selling author. Each week I'll dive deep with the world's brightest thought and elite performers to share tangible tools and practical advice to inspire you to keep your eyes on the prize and forge ahead. So get ready to conquer your fears, heal any trauma, lead with your heart, and elevate your life with grit and grace.

I am so glad that you're here today because you are going to love today's guest, Kim Gravel. She is former Miss Georgia. She's an entrepreneur, TV superstar, public speaker, and I have to say, she is my absolute favorite motivational speaker, truly. But most of all, she has a passion for people and still seeing them rise. And I'm telling you, it shows in everything that she does. She is the most booked guest on the Steve Harvey Show. You probably know her from her own docu series, Kim of Queens or QVC where she is killing it. She has her own highly successful apparel line, Belle by Kim Crevel, her own cosmetic line. Plus she has a book coming out in 2020, y'.

All.

I can't wait to hear about her book. She does all of this. Plus she's a wife, mama, certified life coach, mentor, advisor and consultant. She is my freaking hero. Kim Gravel, welcome to the show.

Oh, thank you, girl. Thank you for having me, Everly. I appreciate it. I'm excited. I'm a fan, girl. I'm a fan.

Oh, I tell you what, I don't mean to sound like a super stalker, but I watch everything that you do and you are just such a badass. And look, I Even watch your YouTube videos where I don't even bother with my eyebrows, but you somehow sucked me in to watching how to do eyebrows.

Well, you've got good brows. So you either know how to do it or whatever because your brows are on point.

Oh, you are so sweet.

I'm really not a badass. Really. I'm just kind of like just a regular old girl, you know, I'm just a mama, sister, auntie, a wife, you know, best friend. I'm a girl's girl.

So you are definitely a girl's girl. And it shows in everything that you do. And one of the things I really love the most about you is how you just keep it so real. Like you share your wisdom and you keep it real. And I love that about you. But I wanted to ask you, I mean, the Show's all about strengthening your resilience and overcoming obstacles. And you've done so much in your life. And I wondered, were you always a go getter? Like, were you always driven, even as a child?

Yeah, I think so. But I don't want to mislead people and think that, you know, if you don't have this amazing drive, you'll never accomplish anything. I think I was just, like, ignorant. I just, you know, ignorance is bliss. And I don't mean that in a funny way, kind of funny, but I kind of didn't know any better. You know, when I was younger, I didn't really care what other people thought or what other people wanted. I always was into my own interest in beliefs, in believing that. I know that there was a bigger purpose for my life, as I believe is for everyone listening to this and everyone that's, ever, you know, entered and been born into this world. I think I knew that at a young age. And so I never allowed my environment, my circumstances, people's opinions affect me. So I had the drive, but more importantly, I had the focus. And I think that's what drive helps. I've seen a lot of driven people drive themselves right over a cliff. Girl. I have seen many people have drive, but never have that pinpointed focus about what they should be about in their life. So, yes, I had the drive, but more importantly, I could see it and I knew there was more.

And I think that's a good point, because it is important to have that drive. But along the way, there get to be. Especially when you start reaching bigger and bigger goals and maybe you're out there a little bit more and people start maybe pulling on you or you get different opportunities thrown your way. I could see where it would take a laser focus to go, okay, well, wait a minute. Is that gonna take me off my path or is that gonna get me closer to where I wanna go? How old were you when you got into doing pageants? And my poor mama, bless her heart, I don't know if it's a Southern thing or what, but I put me in a pageant and I was the ugliest kid you've ever seen.

I'm going to stop you right there. I don't believe a word you're saying because I stalk you on Instagram. You inspire me, and you are gorgeous.

So you're sweet, but no, I was. I looked like a boy. I had the biggest buck teeth and they gave me a little honorable mention. And I know they're like. And I was just like, it was the first time I ever, like, wore a dress. I always, never wore dresses. And so, yeah, it was pretty pathetic. But how old were you when you started getting into pageants? Because it does take courage.

Well, like I said, or ignorance, either one. So when I was in the ninth grade, I started my first pageant. I hear you, what you're saying you went through your awkward phase. I'm still kind of in my awkward phase. Like, I never was a beauty, meaning physicality, what the world would consider beautiful. However.

Oh, well, I think you are gorgeous.

You are gorgeous.

You glow, you shine bright. So I.

You do, but you know what I'm saying. That typical, you know, beauty queen or, you know, sexy girl or whatever, that was never me. I always had really short hair. But in the ninth grade, I was a feminist before feminist was even a word. We even used that, you know, like, we throw it around a lot now. And. And I'm not even a feminist. I'm pro woman. So whatever you want to categorize that. I hate to be put in a box, but that's what I was. And so in the ninth grade, I got so upset because I played in the orchestra at school. I played the viola. I was so mad because the football team got all of the school funding, you know, back. It's still that way today. But back in the day, liberal arts was just like an afterthought. And so I thought, you know, all the pageants money from the 9th grade pageant was going to go towards the liberal arts program. So we had to raise our own money to enter the pageant. That's why I entered the pageant. It wasn't to be beautiful or win a crown. It was to prove to the booster club and our football team at Parkview High School. Thank you. That we could raise the same kind of money. Of course we didn't, but that was my goal. That's why I did it.

I love that.

And I did it to sing. So I never again. I never understood what a beauty pageant was about. I just knew that was a way for me to protest, get my message out and get my talent out. And again, just young, dumb, and, you know, broke. I entered it and did not win, but said, okay, hold up. Now this is how I can earn some money to go to school. You know, all of that.

Wow, you're kidding. So your first one, you didn't win. And now a lot of people would go, oh, gosh. Well, I didn't win. That's not for me. And they would never go back.

Well, you'll never need anything if you do that.

Exactly. I love that you had the grit and the courage to go, oh, no, I could see a way to make money. I could see me going places with this.

Well, I've always had a lot of grit. I like that word. I say a lot of balls. I say this to a lot of men that talk on that level. I'll say, well, honey, I've got big balls just like you too, honey. You ain't got to worry about that. Like, I've always had that in me, that fire and that passion, especially for things I really truly believe in. But I would say to anybody, I love this podcast because I love the word grit. If you don't have that, if you don't have the get back down, get back up, knock back down, get back up, fall, get back up, you can just hang it up, you might as well just go and just give up. You don't have to have talent, you don't have to have looks. You ain't got to be cute, you don't even have to be smart. But you've got to have grit and you've got to get back up that. You will never survive in life if you don't have that period.

Amen to that. That is so true. It's getting up again.

You know it, girl.

Yeah. No matter how many times you fell or, you know, and that's the thing, you know, I think that's a thing that gets confusing to some people nowadays because of social media. Because a lot of times if you look on like Instagram for instance, everybody posts their highlight reel and they post and it looks easy and glamorous and you just, you know, you may see that somebody has a best selling book and go to their Barnes and Noble book signing, but you don't realize it took them two years to write that book. And all the self doubt they may have had when they were writing it and all the grit that it took to get to the point where finally at that book signing, I think that gets confusing for people nowadays. What do you think about that, about social media and its impact on entrepreneurs? Do you think it's a good thing? What are your feelings on that?

Well, social media, it is what it is. It's not real meaning. It's not the full package. It's a teaser. I think of social media as like the highlight reel or a movie trailer. Okay. That's how I look at social media. And so many people that you would look at these large brands give you an example of like at QVC and Then you would look at our brand and you would think, oh, my gosh. You know, we don't have the glamorous marketing budgets and all that that the larger brands do, but we outsell them. So all that glitters is not gold sometimes. It's just literally a highlight reel of your life. But I will say this about social media. I'm obsessed with it. I said, do you Photoshop your pictures? I'm like, heck, yeah, I do. Because when I'm dead and gone and my kids look at those pictures, they're not gonna remember. They don't remember, oh, my gosh, mom was so fabulous and gorgeous. You know, that's what I want to remember. And then they'll know the good times they spent with me. So I don't take social media or pictures or any of that too seriously. I have fun with it. What I take serious is building relationships. I tell this to people all the time. You're not in the business of writing a book. You're not in the business of selling your wares, your makeup, your clothes, your whatever. You're not in the business of life coaching. You're in the people business. I love that.

And I always say the best part of my book journey was the connections I've made along the way. That's why I do. What I do is for the community aspect of it. It's relationship and connection and your story

and what you've been through and how you have risen, how you've been that phoenix. And everybody has a story to share. So don't get hung up on the glamorous parts of it all. Do the glamour. I love the glamour, but really focus on the people and the message. You can pay somebody to post great social pictures of yourself and do all that, but you can't pay somebody to tell your story. You have such a craft, you know, you have to develop that.

Yeah. And just keep being authentic and true to yourself. I think is key. What has been your biggest challenge throughout your whole journey with all the different businesses that you've had and that you do? What has been one of your biggest challenges?

I'm going to keep it real. Like, I'm going to keep it very micro. When I say this, because I've faced so many challenges, not even funny. I think the one that I constantly have, meaning, I've never outgrown it, and it's never gone away. It's a continual issue. I've learned how to handle it a little quicker is going into meetings, meeting new people, getting new opportunities, and having them Understand who I am very quickly. Being Southern, being middle aged, being a size 12, being loud. People try to put you in a box. That happens with all of us. So whoever's listening to this, wherever you are in your life and your journey, everybody meets you and thinks, oh, I know her. I know exactly where to put her. I know she's just a cute little personality. We're going to put her here. So the hardest thing for me has been is to get people to understand who I am very, very quickly before I step into business anywhere with anybody. Because nine times out of ten, people are slow. They're not that quick. They might have the big position, but they don't have the big brain to go with it.

Okay, but let me ask you this. Do you find. Because I have a Southern accent.

Yeah.

People always confuse, and they even confuse my accent and my kindness.

Come on.

For weakness or stupidity.

Yes. Well, that's being a woman, too. Just go ahead. It's not just Southern. We get that as women. And it's so funny because to answer your question, yes. But it takes these people so long to get to know who you really are that by the time they know that, I'm like, I'm done. I don't even want to work with you no more. You're boring me. So my biggest challenge has been how do I get these people to understand who I am very, very quickly. Because you're not meant to work with everybody. I tell this to the kids I mentor, to the colleges I speak to, to the girls I mentor at my little son's school. I say to them, I say, you're not meant to be and work with everybody. Everybody's not going to get you. And so what you got to do is make sure that you can get to that decision, whether you do or do not want to work with that person a lot quicker or you'll waste a whole bunch of time. I wasted a lot of time trying to make people get it.

Yeah. Well, that kind of makes me think about another question I was going to ask you. How have you experienced any haters in your life?

Oh, sure. But you know what? When you say the word haters, I love them anyway.

I do, too, but it's hurtful at first, I have to admit.

I gotta block them and love them. I love people, but I don't like everybody. But I sure do love everybody. But this is the thing. Like I said, there's just some people gonna get it and some people who are not. I don't even think about it anymore. I Used to. My dad used to tell me that he goes, you're singing to the one person with the frown on their face, honey. The other 400 are smiling and enjoying themselves. That's what we do. We are so approval and validation seeking all the time that we will spend all of our time and energy with that one little Rick rack, paddy whack person that just doesn't get it at all.

Mm. Well, I think it's primitive thinking. When we back in the day, it was survival mode to see the negative or the danger and either the fight or flight from it. And now any negative comment seems to stick to us like Velcro. When it's like, we gotta like, let it go. I always focus as soon as I have something like that come up. I always showed them so much love and compassion and sometimes people are shocked.

Oh, yeah, I get that too.

But I think that, you know, when you have that experience when people are not very nice or there's haters out there, that they do just need love. Hurt people. Hurt people. But I just wondered because of all that you do, if you've had that experience and how you handled it. And I love what your dad said. You're singing to the one frowning person.

Don't get it.

Yes.

Yeah.

We gotta focus on our people. And I think that if you just keep sharing your message and being authentic, you find your people really quick.

Well, and you know, people who are critical, that's the cheat seats. That's people nine times out of 10 who are not doing their own thing. And it's so much easier to be critical when you have an idle mind in your board. So nine times out of 10, those people who are critical are critical because they're not doing anything again, they're not going to buy or sell or buy into anything you're doing anyway. So you might as well not worry about it. Yeah.

Yeah. I had put on my Instagram that I get to interview Kim Gravel and I had people write in and have a couple of questions that they wanted to ask for the interview. And there's one person that asked because I know you have a makeup line. She wants to know, what are your first steps for making a business plan when it comes to something like a cosmetic line?

Your mission. This is the thing. If you don't have your one statement, your one mission statement, that one thing that's going to be the compass throughout the business development launch, sell through, you know, onto a multi million dollar brand. If you don't have that, why you're doing what you're doing if you don't have the why the buy. That's what I call it. Why are people going to buy into what you're selling then? You don't even need to start. So many people start with, oh, my God, that has the best applause. Well, so does 50 kajillion other people on the planet.

That's so true.

There's nothing new under the sun. My daddy always said that, too. There's nothing new under the sun. So they've got to buy into what you are about and what your messaging is about. And that's the biggest, toughest thing to nail down. After that, there's graphics people, there's brand strategists. I'm actually launching a brand for Lance Bass on qvc. I'm doing so much of that branding work for other brands, too. I mean, I remember talking to lance bass from NSync. So you would think, like, that is amazing. You think he's been. Come on, he's done it all. He's seen it all. And I said, dude, what is your message? And he's like, he has so many. You know what I'm saying? Like, you have to get the messaging down. You have to know why you're doing what you're doing.

I couldn't agree more.

I'm glad to hear, because it doesn't work otherwise. Because I've known it both ways.

Yeah. And you know what? Because, well, I've been in the fitness industry for years, but I also coach people, and one of the first questions I asked them is why. Yeah, I had one client. She wanted to grow her following on social media and, you know, become a speaker and stuff. And I said, well, why? What's your mission? Why are you doing it? She's like, well, I guess I want to just be famous.

And I'm like, oh, Lord.

I know.

Yeah, that ain't Lordy.

No, you need a why, because, dang it, it's gonna be hard sometimes.

And if you don't have a why

to turn back to, to give you the motivation to keep going, it's not gonna work.

You know what, Amberly? There's two things you can't chase in life is fame and money. But if you had to chase one of them, I would chase money before fame. Like, you really can't build a business chasing money or fame. You will burn out, you will get frustrated, you will quit, or you will do anything to get it, which is such a dangerous, deceitful lie that fame and money tell. You cannot pursue those two things. You can pursue your heart's desire and your passions.

To me, success is freedom and happiness. And I think that when you do that and follow your. You know, you have a passion that. I don't even say follow. I just do. Because that's. Yeah, I just do. Then I think that's when you really. You're truly happy in life.

See, we live in a world where anybody can be famous. Now that's not even that special anymore.

Oh, yeah. I came back from the airport and there was all these paparazzi around this one girl, and my husband and I were like, well, wonder who that is. She was Instagram famous,

and good for her, Good for her.

But I was like, oh, yeah.

So now people can just be famous

on Instagram, you know?

Yeah, you can be famous anywhere. And celebrities or YouTube.

Yes, for sure. And so I do think for me, and, you know, I think some people are motivated by different things. And I always think it's very interesting when people try to motivate me with money. Like, oh, well, if you do this, you could make all this money. Yeah, money's nice and it gives you opportunities and it makes things easy. But that's never been my big motivator. My big motivator has been, you know, I think similar to one of your motivators, maybe the connection and the community and people. Because, man, Kim, it shows in everything you do, whether you're on QVC or whether you're doing one of your interviews for Steve Harvey, you can tell you are just a people person and you love people. Can we just talk about the Steve Harvey show real quick, please?

You know, I love Steve.

You are the most booked guest on his show. Maybe they just need to make it the Kim Gravel and Steve show.

Well, you know, this is the thing. First of all, Steve is so what you see is what you get. He is so crazy and so talented, and so is to a point in his life. He really don't give a rip, which I love. We are really equally yoked in. We are people of faith, but we're very real people. We have a little bit of street in us and a little bit of life, you know, of course, he has a lot more than me. He's a lot older, and I'll tell him that to his faith. But I think what happened was, is when I got on Steve Harvey, I was such a straight shooter that his audience and he could relate to what I was saying. Straight shooter, meaning I tell it like it is, but I don't do it from a place of, like, I'M so smart. I'm an expert. I have wisdom. I just do it from a place of like, you know, look, we're all in this thing together, and so let's just do it together. Let's do this thing together. No one's got it figured out. No one, not one person on this planet has it figured out. But, you know, we all go through a lot of the same problems. So for me, being the most booked guest on Steve Harvey, you have to have good ratings or they're not going to have you back. But I think, even more so than just that, I think that people are desperate, Amberly, and dying for authenticity or for vulnerability for just that person or persons that can just be themselves, good, bad and ugly and just make it through, just get back up and do the thing again. They're not looking for ideals anymore. People are looking for real people that can relate.

Yes. And you do have so much wisdom and success to share, but you do it in such a beautiful way. And you are so humble through all that you do and all your success, you come across as so humble, and that is so attractive.

I'm really nothing. I'm nothing special, babe. Now, the spirit that lives in me is very special. And I say that to everybody. And people say to me all the time, well, Kim, I don't believe in God, and that's fine. I talk to everybody. I have so many different backgrounds and religious backgrounds and belief systems I talk to all the time. And when they say I don't believe in God, I'm like, that's fine because he believes in you.

I love that.

Right? So for me, I'm nothing special, girl. I'm not. I'm well aware of that. I'm a middle aged, overweight Southern girl just getting through like the rest of us. But what I do have that is very special and unique is that I do know and have my purpose. And when you know why you were created and what you were created for. And I hear a lot of moms and people say, well, I'm pretty to be a mom. No, that's the season you're in in your life and you'll always be a mom, but at some point they're not going to need you like that anymore. That's a season of your life. And I've been through a lot of seasons in my life, but my purpose and what I've been put on this earth to do has never left me or changed. So when a person figures out that they won't look to their physicality, their Intelligence, their circumstances, they'll look to that purpose and who put that purpose in them. And then they'll know they're special. It doesn't matter what you have or what you look like. There's no person on the planet, girl, that can take that from you. I had a dude one time sit and tell me it was a dude and he sends texts me all the time and he wants to connect. That's not gonna happen. When I tell you the story, you'll know why. So I was sitting at this big meeting and it was all men and me. And my position that I was in was very male dominated position. And I don't even know why they gave me this position because it was against everything they thought was right. And it's never been done before, so. From that woman. But I remember he sat there and looked at me, this gentleman sat there and looked at me and he said to me, you just don't connect with people when you're on stage, so you need to talk less. And when he said it to me, this fire rose up in me and I looked at him and pointed to him and. And I said, you need to back the hell up. I said, just like that, because you need to back the hell up. I said, you're not speaking to my call because you don't know what you're talking about. I said, this is coming from a man who can't even look people in the eye walking down the hall in the building. And I left. I said, I'm out. I'm done with this. You don't even deserve what I have to offer.

Good for you, girl.

That's the one thing I'm made to do, is connect and talk with people.

That is so true.

And you can see, see it. Come on now.

That is what I love about you from the moment. I mean, I've seen you on TV for years now. And the thing I love the most is how real and how you connect with people. You connect with their heart and soul and spirit. You are. You can see it. And when I say you glow, you can see that you have that spirit inside of you and it's beautiful. That is what you do, right?

So do you see what I'm saying? But I knew so much what my call and purpose was. I knew. Now you're not saying I don't like the way you talk or I don't like the way you look while you're talking. You're saying, that's not what you're made to do. So at that point, I Knew this is not the right environment for me because now you're speaking to what my purpose in life is, and that ain't gonna work for me. So needless to say, years and years and years later, I'm still getting texts. Oh, my God, Ms. Hubert. Aha, right. Love you mean it. Never gonna work with you again. So I'm just saying, like, that's what I'm talking to everybody listening, that when you've got that, when you know what you're made to do, no one can take that from you. And if they're trying, get away from them, hell yes. Okay.

Yes. You know what? Everybody listening needs to hear that. I needed to hear that.

Look, I just did.

Yes. And I just did an interview on the doctors.

I saw it. I saw your Instagram about it. Oh, my God, were they great.

Oh, my God. I understand why everybody loves Dr. Travis Stork now, because he is.

I love him for just looking at him, honey.

Oh, my God, he's so dreamy. And they were so amazing. And I was sitting there, he was talking to me, and I was like. I was melting. Sorry, sorry. To my hubby. If my husband.

Oh, listen, ill Gary. I'm at it, girl.

But I tell you, it's so important, though, the people that you surround yourself with. I had a lot of great response from it, but I was. Was I say was, because I got out of that group. I was in a support. Support group for people that have the same nerve disease as me, crps. And oh, my God, I was shocked at how awful they were to me and how they told me I was doing a disservice to the community and that I was crap and called me all kinds of names.

Oh, my Lord, girl.

I thought this is from a CRPS support group. And that kind of. They were trying to shame me for not looking sick enough. They were making fun of my shoes. I mean, it was terrible. And I thought, no, I'm gonna just keep sharing my message because I am here. I survived all of this for a reason. And I'm here to give others hope. And I am not going to stop talking about it because I know my purpose.

Right? They spoke to your call. But see, don't you know that if the enemy or whatever you gonna call it out there deters you from doing what you have been put on this earth to do, then he has won. That's the ultimate hold back, right? Like, even sickness is not. Even being financially broke is not. But if he can hold you back from doing what you were put on this earth to do, then he's won. I mean, I'm not trying to make it super spiritual, but I don't know how any more to put it. It's just the truth.

It is. It is the truth. And you know, I couldn't do what I do without God having me. I asked God to walk in with me wherever I go before I come and sit down with you everywhere. Because I couldn't do it on my own for a long time I tried because I went through some stuff and kind of lost my faith a little bit.

Haven't we all? Yeah, yeah.

And then it came back stronger. And I know that I had God with me all the time, but yeah, it's so true for me. I use those moments as. Those are my biggest motivating moments. When I had one of my doctors say, oh girl, you'll never wear shorts again and you'll probably never train clients again. At first I was devastated. And then I thought, oh no, I am going to wear a bikini again. I don't care how scarred up I am or what I look like, I am going to wear a bikini and I'm going to show my daughters that it doesn't matter what they look like, that they can still be, you know, empowered and confident and love life and have happiness, you know, and that's a choice. And that's one of the things I love about you too, is all that you share, you put up. Well, I love all your quotes that you put up, but you put up one that when I read it, I got all like misty eyed with joy because I think it might be on your website. You say, girl, you haven't missed it. Your time has not run out. Your past hasn't screwed it up. You haven't made too many mistakes. In fact, your mistakes will help you stop thinking it's over. I'm here to tell you it's just beginning.

It is. I love your words, girl, because there is no expiration date on life. Now, is there an expiration date on opportunities, on seasons of life? Sure. Okay. Absolutely. This is the shame. Okay, so I'm trying to do this analogy. It doesn't sound stupid. It's a shame not to have a gallon of milk and not drink that milk before it expires. See, this is where we're missing it. We're thinking life is this big one time opportunity of da da da da, and then it's over. No, there are so many da da da da in your life. What happens is from the day we're born, we get those opportunities that come at us and we leave the milk jug half empty and then we got to pour it out, but the next milk jug is coming. What I'm saying is you haven't missed whatever you think you've missed in your life. You might have missed that opportunity, but there's another one just around the bend. So it's one of those things where people say, be in the moment, be present, and it's never truer. Never true. That's one statement is just, you have today and right now. What are you gonna do about it? I'm life coaching my nephew right now who's gone through addiction issues with alcohol. And I'm gonna tell you something, girl, these young people are dealing with stuff we never had to deal with quicker than we have or had to deal with it. And it's depression, it's pressure, it's anxiety. It's this pressure to be perfect, to find the right mate. I mean, all of this that we really didn't have to deal with because we didn't have social media or we had parents that just like, look, get there the best way you can. I mean, my parents never went and saw every single ball game I ever had. Did yours. I mean, they just dropped me off and said, figure it out.

Oh my God. If we didn't know how to do our homework, it was like, good luck with that. Or, you know, and there were so many times that my mom would forget me at the dance studio. I still want to know about that.

We were 80s kids. We're 80s and 70s kids.

Uh huh.

Yeah. It was like, yeah, you figured out. Yeah, yeah. We didn't have a cell phone to call or text. Yeah. This is the thing. When I say this, it's like, dude, I said to my nephew yesterday, you got to take this day, this moment. What are you going to do today? And so if a woman's listening to me right now and she's in her 50s and she said, I'm just a mom and my kids are grown, what are you going to do? There's something for you to do now that's uber successful. It's not past. The only time it's past is when you're six feet under.

I couldn't agree more. That was a lesson that I had to learn because I had it in my mind because I moved from Texas to California to be a professional dancer. And I knew in my mind, I am going to retire at age 25 from dancing because I don't want to be an old dancer. That was what I thought. And so it was like clockwork. I was like, okay, I want to retire as a dancer when I'm on top of my game. And because that was kind of what I learned at 25.

Let me ask you, how old do you think was old when you were 25? How old did you think was old?

Oh, my gosh. When I was 25. You know, when you're 25, you think that, like 30, you think.

You think 40 is really. You're over. It's over. Oh, yeah, girl, if you're a woman, you're just getting started because you don't

know nothing till you get that that is the truth. That is so true. And, you know, as I've gotten older, I've gotten to the point where I can just let stuff go and not care as much about things. And let me tell you, my husband really is that way. He recently retired and he really doesn't care anymore. He's a retired lieutenant and he used to have to be so, you know, careful about what he said or what he did. And I love this new version of him where he just doesn't give a crap.

I love it. And you know what? Good for him. Everybody's got opinions and that's great. But the one thing that unites us is this purpose thing. Like, I've never gone and spoke anywhere, girl, where I didn't say, who in here believes Everybody has purpose? 100% of the people raise their hand. I don't care if it's a crowd of 50 or 5,000. And then I asked the follow up question, well, how many of you know what your purpose is? Maybe 1%, less than 1% raise their hands. And they probably don't know either. They just raise their hands to be cool. I'm just saying that I think that unites us all. We all know we're not just here to take up space. If I did something to help people find out what their purpose is, girl, we would go into business, you and I, and we would knock all Jeff Bezos off the planet. Because that is what everybody wants to know, but I think only each individual can figure that out for themselves.

I think so, too.

In the.

You know, the thing with me, I have never. And this might sound crazy to some people, and they'll be like, but I've always had something inside of me that I felt like I knew my purpose.

That's a gift from God.

That's God. But I always felt like I had that fire. I couldn't wait to get out of that Small town of Texas, because I knew I wanted more. There was more. And I love Texas. I'm going this week. I'm going to visit, and guess who I'm going to go see. And I'm dying. Oprah is doing her 2020 vision. And I'm going to talk about a

person who we watched her purpose unfold on tv, because on the Oprah Winfrey Show, I think she talks about this where she understood exactly, exactly what she was made to do, and that's why she was so uber successful. Think about it. Oprah's gifted and talented, but not more than anybody. Some other people out there that does what she does. Look at Steve Jobs. He's talented and gifted, but he didn't create all that. He hired people to do it in his bank, in his garage, to do it. It's people who know they're here for a reason that are uber successful. It's not what they know. See, that's what keeps you going. You talk about grit and resilience. What keeps you going is not the thing itself. It's knowing there's something inside of you that I got to get out. It's that purpose that keeps you going. Yes, they're uber talented now. And looking back, you know, it's easy to look at them and their success now and go, oh, my God, they're so amazing. They're so charismatic. But go, look at all these people when they started.

Oh, my gosh.

Well, at the grit. Yep.

And that's why I don't take down, you see, some people that will take down their very first Instagram post. I leave my crappy Instagram posts where I barely knew how to work Instagram. And I only really even started it, so I didn't know what it was. I wanted to be able to follow my daughter and see what she was up to. Of course. And I leave that up there for some of my clients because they're like, well, I really want to have an Instagram page. Like, you know, I'm like, well, everything in perspective. Because some people would look at mine and go, oh, wow, she really needs to grow that. Or she really needs to work on her branding, or, you know, everything in perspective. But I just kept going. I was driven and was working at it every single day.

That's it. But, see, you've got it. That's what it's about. I'm telling you, that's exactly what it's about. And people want to copy and mimic the processes. They want to copy and mimic the look. They want to go hire all these coaches to get them to this and this and all that is fantastic. But if you don't have that message and that purpose behind it, it'll just be a beautiful Instagram page.

Yeah. And purpose and being driven. And I know how hard it is to write a book, and I was so excited to see that you have a book coming out.

I do. That's the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life. Why didn't anybody tell me that? It's just hell.

It's hard, isn't it? You know what?

I actually. I'm kind of.

I can feel you on that one. Because it was one of the hardest things I've ever, ever done. It is so hard, but it's so worth it.

Okay? I'm trusting and believing, girl, it is

so worth it, and I will be the first one in line to go get it. And, I mean, y' all don't understand. I love Kim so much. When I found out you wanted to do the show, I was like, I'll fly to you if that makes it easier for you. I was like, I mean, I'm like president of the fan club. But I can't wait for your book. Is it a memoir? Is it a biography? Is it a self help?

What is it? You know how books are. They become what they are. They're their own entity. It started out as a how to, but it's becoming a little bit more of an inspirational book. Not from a faith point of view, but more of a because everybody girl doesn't want to go create a mega business. They say they do, but they don't. People want to have good, productive lives. And so for me, I've had every season known to man in my life. I've gone through the baby blues. When I had my children, I was like, oh, my God, my life is over. These are the best things that's ever happened to me. But the hardest thing I've ever done. I've gone through rejection. I've gone through young in the business. I've gone through being old in the business. So it is a book that when you read it and you put it down, I'm hoping that you feel better about yourself. That's it. Like, if you learn how to do something, great. But I just want you. When you read it, I want you to feel like, oh, my gosh. Okay, I'm good. Yeah, I got this.

I love that you know that you got. This is what I have on my business cards. Yeah, I've got. You got this and I have them facing on my desk because I need that reminder sometimes. I need that little reminder no matter what I'm doing is you got this, you got it. Yeah.

And no one ever has it 100%, all the time, every day. So I'll have to be reminded. Even the most successful of the successful, they're human beings with flaws and with struggles, but it's all in how you look at them and handle them.

That's beautiful. I can't wait to read that. Just all your clothing line, your cosmetic line. Where is the best place for people to find all of your. Should they go to your website or should they go.

Just go to the website kimgravel.com and sign up for our email list and stay connected. It's one of those things where you know the website is the best way to go and we've always got something cooking, something going on. So that's the best place.

Yeah, I've seen your website. It's beautiful. And then I always ask my guests what is their definition of resilience. And it sounds like your book is about resilience, but what is your definition of resilience?

I think it's to never lose hope. You can't get back up if you don't have something to get back up for. And I just think that people in today's time, it seems so hopeless, but it's so not. It's such a great time to be a girl. It's such a great time to be alive. There's so many opportunities for people that were never available to people even 10 years ago. It's not hopeless if you are sick, it's not hopeless. You can be healed and you can even be effective through the sickness. You can even make a difference through your illness. If you're financially hopeless, it's all is not lost. There's so many things that you can do to either, you know, increase your income, get out of debt. There's ways to do this. Not hopeless. You think it is because you're in the circumstance, but you're not your circumstance and there's always hope to get back up for.

You made me all misty eyed when you said to not give up hope. Because I had this one lady who was trying to sell me something for pain. I don't know even what it was. And I was actually thinking about trying it. That snake oil I think is what it was when I said something about, you know, not having hope, that there's a cure for the nerve disease I was diagnosed with. And she goes well, that's a four letter word. You need to get that out of your vocabulary right away. And I was like, are you kidding? I was like, okay, bye. Bye. Because hope is what we need to keep us going every single day to make it one day at a time. I need hope. I need help.

There is such hope. It's not even something we manifest. We don't have hope. We can't make hope. Hope is just there. How I know it's there is because you get up the next day, brand new day, brand new start. So don't tell me there's not hope, because I live it every day. You might not feel it, you might not want to see it. Negative Nelly. But it's there. It's there and it's all perspective. I'm gonna give you this last little thing I remember when I was. And I'm just using this example. Don't ever everybody think I'm fat, shaming myself, because I'm not. But I remember looking back when I got married and just thinking, oh, my God, if I could just lose 10 more pounds before I got married. And girl, if I could have the body that I had, what I was calling fat back then, now I would be naked on a pole. I'm just telling you. Do you see what I'm saying? It's all perspective. It's not all time to look at it.

It is.

Quit downing yourself. Quit beating yourself up. Quit it.

Yep, there's always something to be grateful for. You can call it hunting the good, looking for the silver lining, counting your blessings. But brag on yourself.

Brag on yourself. Believe in your own beauty. Get out there and look at yourself and find something that's fabulous about you. Because I can. I can meet anybody. Everybody says, can you always see the best in people. No, I just see people. I don't look for the best. I see them. I talk to them. It just pops out. I'm like, oh, my gosh, she's so beautiful. Her skin is like, oh, my God, they're so smart. I mean, I'm always finding the best. People say you're finding the best. No, I just see it. You don't see it. I'm not doing anything special. I'm just calling out what's already there. Do you see what I'm saying? Like people say, you see the best. Yeah, I guess I can see it. But it's not that I'm making that up. That's what they are. They just don't see it in themselves.

It'd be wonderful if More people could be like you and spread the kindness and actually speak up about it. Because there are a lot of times that people may see the beauty or something nice or see somebody smart and someone else, but they won't say something about it because they feel like it takes, you know, it maybe dulls their shine a little bit, I guess. I don't know.

I'm gonna quote what you said at the beginning of this interview when you said people mistake my kindness for weakness. Kindness is not weakness. Kindness takes such strength and courage and grit in a world today to be kind to some people who are butt nutters and a brick short of a load. It's hard to be kind. That is not a sign of weakness. That's a sign of strength.

I love that. Oh my gosh. Well, I could talk to you all day and if you are ever in la, I want to have you over for dinner. I just love you. Thank you so much for coming on. Y'. All, please go follow her on Instagram too and watch her on QVC. Head over to her website kimbrell.com and I will also include all of her links for, for everything and keep you posted about her book in the show notes. But I just, I adore you and I'm so grateful that you came on. Thank you so much for sharing your light with all our audience. Thank you.

Love you, girl.

Oh, I love you. Thank you.

Thank you so much for joining us this week on the True Grit and Grace podcast. Don't forget to to hit that subscribe button and it would be so awesome if you rated and maybe left a review that would help too. And also I have some exciting news for you. If you are ready to learn a mindset that will get you through any challenge, ready to really transform any limiting beliefs, and finally find the wellness routines that work with your lifestyle and keep your body healthy and thriving, you're in the right place. You're hearing this for all the right reasons because it's your chance, your chance to join right now. It's a 12 week course. It's so much fun because we're going to go live in a webinar with plenty of time for Q and A. It's called you'd Unstoppable Life Mastermind. And there's going to be a daily mantra and a like minded community to support you along your way to reach all those goals. So head over to amberly lago.com mastermind and sign up now. Okay? Have a great week and I hope to see you in the Mastermind.