Tap into Your Personal Power with Rudi Riekstins

Thank you for tuning in to the True Grit and Grace podcast. I'm Amberly Lago, and I'll be sharing inspirational stories of resilience and empowering ideas to elevate your business and your life, ignite your passion, and fuel your purpose. Hello, and welcome to True Grit and Grace with Amberly Lago. And I have one of my most amazing friends on the show, Rudy. We've been trying to get together for this interview. I've waited seven months for our schedules to align so we could do this. He's an entrepreneur. He's an international speaker, author, coach. He's got an incredible podcast that I just binged that you really should tune in and listen to. It's called In Person Power. He's been awarded top five coach by Thrive Global. That's alongside Tony Robbins, y', all, and Jim quick, and top 20 thought leaders in 2021 alongside Deepak Chopra. So every single time I get to talk to Rudy, I feel so blessed because I'm like, yes, coach me. Tell me what to do. Like, tell me what to do. And he is speaking at the March Mastermind event. So we're the Unstoppable life. Mastermind is sponsoring the Unstoppable Success Summit, and Rudy speaking, and I cannot wait for him to be there. So, Rudy, thank you so much for being here today.

You know, Emily, thank you, thank you, and thank you. And I know I say that every time I get to connect with you because it always is such a privilege and a pleasure to speak to you. I love you and I adore you. And you. You know, when we started talking about this actual recording seven months ago, it's been one of the highlights I've had on my calendar all year. And when I woke up this morning, I was like, today is the day. And so it really is a good day. And I want to just acknowledge you and say thank you so much for having me on your podcast. I want to acknowledge your audience for listening to your podcast. And I really do hope to show up and add value for you and for them today, because I do value everybody's time. You know, time is limited, and so to spend time with anyone anyway, I always want to make sure that I'm showing up as the best version that I can to. To help as. As best I can on the platform. So thank you so much.

Oh, thank you, Rudy. And honestly, every single time I get to talk with you, I take sticky notes. So when you say add value, you guys get out your notepad and your pen because you will want to write down everything that Rudy says. I seriously have pages of stuff that when we get on a phone call that you share with me because you are so brilliant. You're one of the most amazing people I've ever met. And I say that because, actually, right before we started the call, you actually asked me, how can I provide value to you and your audience? I've never been asked that. It's usually people that are like, okay, what can you do for me? You were actually like, how can I add, you know, value or provide value to you and what you're doing? I was like, oh, my gosh. So before we get into your amazing wisdom, like, seriously, nuggets of gold wisdom, I want to know, how did you get. Because you and your wife, Aniston, are like, self development, spiritual. Like you. You know it all. How did you get involved into becoming a coach and into self development and into helping so many people.

I. I want to acknowledge what you just said, and I want to ground that for our audience for a moment today. And, you know, I walk around constantly in a state of gratitude for every moment, and I am always encouraging people to show up to every single interaction they're having in life. Not asking what they can take from life, but how can they leave it better than the way that they found it? And that's why when I get onto platforms or have opportunities to connect with somebody, I'm always wanting to know, how can I best show up in that moment? Because I believe that is the absolute definition of life, is how do we show up in any environment to be able to leave it better than the way that we found it? And how can we be the best versions of ourself you'll follow up to? The question was so beautifully timed because most people in the opening of a podcast want to know, what's your story? What traumas did you overcome? How did you end up getting to where you got to today? And the answer is the same in that, you know, every single thing that happened in my life has perfectly prepared me to be who I am today doing what it is that I'm doing. I was so horribly lost as a child. I was insecure. I was told as a kid going to school that I was stupid, so I acted stupid. I never showed up for school. I mean, I physically went to school, but I was never present in school. I didn't do any homework. I didn't apply myself.

Hey, wait, I gotta go back. So they told you, like, you were actually told you were stupid in school?

On my very first Day walking into school, not kindergarten like my first grade class. The teacher actually recognized me and said, are you Carl's brother? And I said, yes, that's my older brother. And she said, well, if you're as stupid as him, you're going to spend the whole year sitting in the dunce's chair. So why don't you cross the room now and go and sit in the stupid chair. And then she put a hat on my head, a red pointed hat.

Are you kidding me?

Not at all. And this woman is really, really. She was a mean, a mean spirited lady. And I'm very grateful for her because we'll touch on that in a moment. But you know that that was a defining moment in my childhood at 6 years old, to be told I was stupid by an authority figure. And so I, I believed wholeheartedly, while if she's a teacher that teaches children, she must know what smart looks like. And then she must also be equally qualified to know what a stupid look like and why I'm stupid. And so I never showed up for school. And I'm mentioning this because in the introduction that you so beautifully gave me, you know, you said, rudy, you're so brilliant. I love how your mind works. And I'm reminded of how I spent the first 20 years of my life thinking that I was stupid, that there was something wrong with me, that I wasn't smart. And then later in life I found out, hang on a minute. I actually am pretty smart. I am intelligent, I do understand complex things really quickly and, and I, I have a, a beautiful way of processing information. But I never allowed myself the opportunity to apply that in school because someone labeled me as something at a time when my brain didn't have the ability to process. Is this true or is this false? Is this real? I just absorbed and accepted it as a fact. And we can understand today that under the age of seven, people absorb information as facts regardless of whether it is or it is. And we just absorb the information that way. And logic and rationale only comes in from 8, 9, 10, 11 years older and is then developed. So I was told I was stupid at 6 or 7 and I believed I was stupid. I was then later told I was unworthy, so I acted unworthy. I didn't come from tremendous income and wealth and so I viewed the world as well, my friends are rich, I'm not rich. My friends have boats, we don't have a boat. My friends go on vacations, I didn't go on vacation. So all of that meant Rudy's not worthy. Rudy's not good enough. Rudy's stupid. Rudy's the dunce. And so, you know, you asked how did I get to where I got to today? And I believe that all of my life experience was perfectly carefully preparing me for what it is that I get to do today. Today I go into mostly organizations. I work with high level leaders, I work with startup companies, I work with solo entrepreneurs, I work with coaches, Anyone who's wanting to create an impact that wants move people, and I can connect to anybody. Based on the vast experience of my childhood, of being made to feel stupid, of experiencing trauma, of experiencing abuse, of whatever the situations were that I'd gone through, they helped me to understand that all of those things show up in every single person's life. When we walk into a room, any room, anywhere in the world, that entire room, if it has people in it, is filled with people that are trauma survivors. When you go to an office building and you have 200, 500, 5,000 people working in that building, there's 5,000 trauma survivors in that building, there's. Everyone has gone through something. Most people in that room are currently going through something. And if they're not doing the work to work on themselves, they're still processing that pain over and over. And it's actually impacting how they show up at work. And so my journey was really a 20 year journey of self discovery to save my life. Now I was never at risk of taking my life. I was never having thoughts of suicidal tendencies. I mean, saved my life because the quality of the life that I was living was so bad, so painful, that I had to start looking at my life and find meaning in it. And I found tremendous meaning and value in being spiritual and understanding in a higher power and understanding that life has some level of order and synchronicity and that everything is adding up to become something. And in that I found tremendous power. And when I use the word power, because power is a trigger word, I don't mean power like I had power over someone. I mean, I had power within me and it ignited in me a shift in no longer looking at my life or my circumstances as things happening to me, but rather from a lens of how does this serve me and in it serving me? Who does it, who does it help me serve with what I've learned? And so every experience that I've had helps me connect to people so that I can help them move out of their own way so they can create the greatest life that they want to live. You know, today my, my Work. And my, my journey has brought me to help companies elevate and make more money, to break through grass ceilings, to, to just completely explore the possibilities of being the highest and greatest potential in a company. But what I really do is I just help people heal from who they thought they were and remind them who they always have been and who they really are at the core. And what is our function and role in being anywhere and doing anything. And that all just came from my life. It came from experience. It came from repeatedly dating somebody who would cheat on me or break up with me. It came from never feeling good enough and unworthy. And that journey of just self discovery has been the greatest gift that I've ever been given because today I get to serve in the most beautiful way. And you know, I was on call this morning after call, after call, helping and supporting people inside of organizations have these unbelievable breakthroughs. And it's the most beautiful thing to be able to witness or experience grown men ending a phone call saying I love you. Thank you so much for helping me. Thank you for seeing me or, or I've never felt supported or whatever the words are. You know, they change but the, the results always the same. And it's just such a beautiful gift. And so I, I challenge everyone hearing these words to ask themselves not what was Rudy's journey but what is the journey you're on right now? And as you hear it, what has happened to you? What is happening to you that if you looked at it, what, what could that be? Serving who you get to become next? Because we get to do something with our experiences that impact the world and that starts with all those people around you.

Well, yeah. And you know what you have, I think that sometimes when you have gone through some tough experiences or circumstances, it does give you the gift of empathy and being able to have compassion for someone who's going, going through something similar. And I did not know that story or that that young version that the teacher told you that. And I went through something almost identical as a kid and put in the special needs class and it kind of marked me as I'm stupid and this and that and then to go and build your self esteem up and your self worth up after being told these things. When you're a young child, it is a gift to dive into self development. But Rudy, I can say like when you talk to people, when you are in a conversation with me or other people, I see you and you have the gift of you compassion, empathy. But you're an incredible listener and you have this, your mind is brilliant. And that it's like you have this big puzzle and you can put all the puzzle pieces together, whereas we, you know, as like, for me, I might be in it going, I don't know what to do. And you're like, oh, this is what you do and this is the puzzle and this is how you put it together. And so I, I really, I say that because I have, I've paid some really very successful, well known coaches hundreds of thousands of dollars for business coaching. And I told you this before, but I got on one call with you for an hour and I was like, oh, my gosh, I got more out of this call than I've had from any other coach that I've ever worked with. And I say that because genuinely, you help so much. It's like you can take a look at the big picture and put all the pieces together. And I think that a lot of it is that your ability to connect with people and all that you've been through, you can connect with people and go, oh, this is how this person thinks or feels. And let me just help you work this all out. So thank you for that. You are amazing. And you know what? You and Aniston. Oh, your podcast, it's incredible.

Thank you.

I was like, I got, I started listening to it on the airplane and I'm like, how have I not listened to this before? And I was like, okay, let me listen to this one. Let me listen to this one. Let me, you know, and you've got everything on there from self development, from the last one I was listening to was like something sexual that you weren't on. But Aniston was interviewing someone for the Power of Sex.

So, you know, our, our podcast is, is not so much a podcast. It's a recording of our basic and, and, and ongoing conversations that we have at home. I have the most incredible relationship with my wife. She is my absolute best friend. She's my business partner, she's my soulmate, she's my twin flame. But More is just a great conversationist and, and we have the most amazing dialogue all the time. It's never ending. And we talk about absolutely anything and everything. And she will hold me to a higher standard, and I will hold her to a higher standard. And she'll push and nudge me forward, and I'll push and nudge her forward. And I think it's a beautiful example of how we get to show up in life for each other. And one conversation later, someone suggested that we should, we should start a Podcast because we should be recording these conversations, and we did, and it has just been so beautifully received because, you know, we're not trying to do anything other than share a thought we're having in that moment. And people either resonate with it or they don't. The last podcast that you just listened to, where Aniston was talking to a woman by the name of Bibi about sexual pleasure and Tantra, it's not really about sex at all, even though that's the bridge into the conversation. It's about how do you love yourself, how do you overcome your own personal traumas, how do you come shame around your body or your self esteem? And a large part of what people do is they take all of their traumas from their life. They wear them like a suit of armor, and when they walk into any room anywhere in the world, they carry that with them. Who would you be if you walked into a room with no shame, no trauma, no insecurities? You stood in your personal power. You felt good in your own skin about who you are. You knew why you were in that room and what you wanted to do and to achieve in that room, you'd be significantly more likely and prepared to achieve that outcome. And so, you know, our podcast is about our journey, what books we read that gave us different realizations, what courses we've taken, what authors or speakers that we like or that we resonate with and, and what is has helped us to gain a different level of understanding or a vantage point that we think others could learn from and gain from. And we encourage people to do the same thing for themselves and just to constantly be applying new thoughts and new beliefs. You know, I was given a very strong structured belief around religion when I was a young child. You know, my wife, the same Catholic, very strong, very rigid. This is what it should look like. And today we get to ask, well, what are our beliefs? Where do we fit in the world? What do we like and get to constantly learn and appreciate and value and just to bring that podcast episode, you know, to a little bit of a close on, on this point, you know, when we talk about intimacy and sex with a partner, you know, that normally means two people and you're putting the second person in that equation and expecting them to do something to fulfill you. Whereas what we're referring to in life is that we personally get to first love ourselves and we get to know how do we be loved. And I'm not talking about just sex, I'm talking about all areas of life. And that when we fully Deeply, intimately and passionately love ourselves. We're teaching others how to love us the way we need to be loved. And that changes how you communicate, that changes how you show up, it changes how you interact. And yes, absolutely, it's going to change how you have sex, but it's not because of the sex at all. And it's more about who do you get to be as the most empowered version of you and then, you know, do something really beautiful with that to create an impact in your life, your relationships, and then out and the world.

Well, how does one, if you aren't feeling empowered, if you are having, you know, because I've definitely been in the place where I'm like filled with shame, discouraged, don't feel worth anything. How does one, if you're in a place and you're very discouraged, how do you get in a place where you feel more empowered to where you can move forward and have the life that you've always dreamed of?

You know, there's a series of steps that, that somebody has to go through to, to start living the most empowered life possible. And we wouldn't be able to cover all of that in a single podcast episode. But what, what I want to do is answer your question in where it's going to help somebody if they are in a moment feeling disempowered, in a moment, they're feeling nervous or anxious or worried. And what I want to do is bring awareness to in a moment like that, the person themselves is not actually feeling anxious, nervous or worried. Their brain is telling them that in the past, they experienced something similar to what they're experiencing now, and it made them nervous or anxious or worried. And it's chemically dumping an emotion into the body to tell them, caution, caution, caution. You need to proceed with caution. And so they act nervous, cautious, unsure, insecure. And what we need to do in any moment is ground ourself in exactly where we are. So let's roll this right back. Let's pretend I'm about to get on the True Grit and Grace podcast, one of the largest podcasts in the world, one of the most successful podcasts, one of the one of the biggest self development podcasts where we're creating massive, profound shifts. And five minutes before the podcast hits record, I start thinking, oh no, I'm nervous, I'm worried. What if I don't say the right thing? My br starts to dump a chemical into my body, my palms get sweaty, my heart starts to accelerate, my mouth gets dry, I can't drink enough water because I'M nervous now. I can't formulate a thought, and I start thinking, oh, I don't know if I'm ready for this. I don't know if I'm good enough for this. I mean, there's no way I could possibly do this. I mean, this is Emily Largo. This is her podcast. I've been waiting seven months for this. In that moment, if that were happening, it wouldn't be Rudy logically consciously having any of those thoughts. That would be my brain remembering when I was 7 years old and I had to do a presentation in the front of the classroom, and I was nervous. I started speaking, and I started. And the class laughed at me, and I was reminded I was stupid. So the brain produced a chemical that said, every time you speak in front of people, you're going to get laughed at. It's going to be painful. And so every other time in the rest of my life, given the opportunity to speak, my brain's going to say, caution. Mayday, Mayday. Don't do it. Don't do it. Because when you did that before, it was painful, it was harmful, it hurt your feelings. And. And we want to avoid that. You see, the human brain is dividing all information based on a simple formula of is this going to cause me pleasure or is it going to cause me pain? And if it's going to potentially cause me pain, it's going to do everything in its power to avoid the potential of experiencing pain.

Oh.

And so in moments where you're nervous or you're anxious or you're questioning yourself, you're not actually, in that moment, nervous and anxious. Your subconscious mind is simply drawing from past experience of anything that could ever have gone wrong, using that as a formula to tell you, be aware. And in that moment, you're experiencing fear or anxiousness or nervousness. But what's really happening is the brain is just saying, hey, we've never done this, or we've done something similar to this, and it wasn't going to work out well, and so we'd rather you not take the risk. And it's. It's trying to stop you. But if you were to pause in that moment, look down at your feet, ground yourself in your room and say, okay, where am I? Okay, this is where I am. Am I safe? Right now, I am safe. What are the emotions I'm feeling? Well, I am feeling anxious. When I name that emotion, I am feeling anxious, I reduce the chemical dump of anxiousness in my body by up to 60%.

Really? That happens by acknowledging just by saying, I am feeling anxious. Yeah, because I was always, well, I was always told, okay, no, I'm not feeling anxious, I'm feeling excited. Let me see how I can flip this. But you're saying really acknowledge I am feeling anxious.

So it's very important that we do flip it. But we can't flip the switch too soon. And so what I mean by that is you have got to first acknowledge where you are at. You first have to say, what am I feeling? I am right now feeling nervous, I am feeling worried. I am feeling anxious. The brain stops dumping the chemical of nervousness, anxiousness.

So you acknowledge it. So you can kind of go, okay, brain, I hear you. You don't have to keep dumping all these feelings of anxiety and nervousness, all that in there. So you acknowledge it.

So what you're really doing is the brain's dumping it to warn you something could go wrong. And if you acknowledge it, the brain says, well, we don't have to keep dumping it the chemical. We have to keep making you anxious because now you're aware of it. So you're bringing information to the frontal lobe. You bring information to your forward mind. So now you're aware, you're consciously aware. So by being consciously aware, we take over the program. So we're not running a subconscious, behind the scenes program. We're now aware. I empower people to always ask empowering questions. Questions, Right. Rather, you ask the question if something negative happens, how is this serving me? If I chose this, what would I be learning that's asking for new information? So you're not running the old program by saying, I am feeling anxious, you stop the dump of chemical of anxiousness. Now you're no longer feeling anxious. Literally 60% of that chemical is no longer dumped throughout your body. Any emotion, Emily, any emotion in the body is only in the body for 60 seconds. After 60 seconds, that emotion's gone. If you experience anxiousness for more than 60 seconds, your subconscious mind is producing that thought over and over and over and over and dumping the chemical again and again, acknowledging it, you stop the chemical dump. Now you get to ask a more empowered question. And you start to say, am I actually right now in a place where I should be worried? No, I'm not. Am I fearful?

No.

Is this really going to go wrong? Well, actually, no. Or am I possibly excited for this? Yes. Now you flip the switch. I am excited. I am.

That is so good. That is so good. Because I actually just did a talk last week for Candy Valentino at her event and let Me tell you, Rudy, I was so anxious, like, more so than any talk that I've given in a long time because I think of again, all the thoughts were coming up and it was like, oh my gosh, I'm speaking with Jamie Kern Lima and Candy Valentino and Amy Porterfield and this celebrity and blah, blah, blah. And it's all these billionaires for billionaire women who are billionaires. And I'm like, I'm not a billionaire yet. You know what I mean? Like, yet. And so. But I was like, oh my gosh, why are they having me speak? I'm not a billionaire yet. They're billionaires. They've sold millions of blah, blah, blah, you know, and. And my mind was going crazy and I was just getting so, like, anxious about it. And it was weird. I was so anxious. When I finally flew into Arizona, I was in Scottsdale, it was kind of like, oh, I'm not really anxious anymore. Like, I'm here. It is what it is. Like, it was like I acknowledged it. But I think it's going to help me so much to really acknowledge. Like, I have another big speaking event coming up in January and then another one in March where you are the keynote speaker. But it's my first, like big two day in person event that's like thousands watching virtual, like on stage. I've got seven keynote speakers flying in. And so my thought earlier today was like, oh my God, am I crazy? Putting together this event? Like, this is crazy. Who do I think I am? And I was just like, okay, no, one step at a time, one thing at a time. I'm gonna get through this. But I think just having your advice of acknowledging it, not trying to ignore it, but acknowledging it so the brain stops pumping in the anxiety is going to help so much. So that is so helpful. What would. What did you do to get over, like, you know, when you were younger and you were told, oh, you may as well go sit over there because you're not smart, like, that was me. What did you do to empower yourself to realize that you actually are brilliant? What did you do to start to make that transformation?

I. I didn't consciously make that decision until I was 26 years old. So when I was six years old, six and a half was when I went to school for the first time and I was told I was stupid and I believed I was stupid. At around about 13, it could have been 12. My memory fails me, but I remember being around about 12 or 13 years old and the teacher in the classroom, a new a Different teacher now was asking all of us kids to stand up and declare who or what we were going to be when we grow up. And I didn't know who I was going to be. I didn't know what my idea of life was. I don't think I had the capacity at the time to even dream about a potential future. But all the kids stood up and this one wanted to be a firefighter, and this one wanted to be a doctor and this one wanted to be an author. And when it got to me, I stood up. And unbeknownst to me at the time, I declared I'm going to be a millionaire by 25. And the entire classroom, I did. And the entire classroom laughed at me. They burst into like this massive eruption of laughter at me, not with me, at me. And I processed that as the entire classroom doesn't think that I have any worth in ever being that. Now my saving grace was it was a really small classroom. There were only 30 kids in that entire class. I mean, I graduated with less than 20 kids in my graduation class of high school. So it just shows you how small my town was. But they all saw me for who I believed to be. And I didn't think I was worthy. But when I sat down from that, that chair, when I sat down on that chair, from that statement, I decided in that moment, I'm going to be a millionaire 25. I'm going to show these people that I am worthy. I'm going to show them I am good enough. And something shifted in me. And every day from that day, moving forward, at any opportunity that I could, I inserted I'd be a millionaire by 25 into any and every conversation with anybody I started hanging out with at 16 years old. Millionaires, because I wanted to learn from them. I remember sitting in scotch cocktail bars drinking scotch at 16 years old. Now the legal drinking age in South Africa is 18. So drinking at 16 is not so far fetched. But it's definitely not the same. It doesn't translate in the us. I remember sitting in a scotch bar, drinking a bourbon with three or four millionaires, talking to them about business at 16 years old, asking them business questions and them not entertaining me, them not sitting there thinking oh, this is cute or annoying, actually being a part of the conversation. And that was my circle of friends. I stopped hanging out with kids my age and I started aspiring to be. But that wasn't a conscious choice. I was just wanting to make a million dollars to prove I was worthy, I was lovable, I was good enough and that I wasn't stupid. And I eventually stopped paying attention to the goal and just started working. I didn't go to college because there were for many reasons. The most important were we didn't have the money in my family to send me to college and I wasn't smart enough to go to college. And three, I'd never applied myself enough to qualify to go to any college. And so I started working from 18. At 19 I managed a business of 66 employees. And I, at 21, I was training and developing high performing sales teams. And I've been doing that for 20 years now. And at 26, on my birthday, my younger brother Marco wrote me a letter for my birthday. And the letter was one of the most beautiful gifts I've ever been given. I actually shared this on stage a few weeks ago for the first time and he was in the audience. It was an amazing moment and he had written me my best present I've ever been given. He had written me a letter of how he viewed me through his eyes. And in that letter he wrote how I had always encouraged him, supported him, motivated him, what it was like to see me going out into the world and achieving greatness. And how he never felt he could ever live up to the expectation of who I am and not how I viewed myself at all. And then in that letter he wrote, I'm really proud of you because you finally did it, you achieved your goal. And that moment I realized, oh my God, I was a millionaire. And I never, I never really connected the dots that I had achieved it. And that was my 26th birthday. So at some point in my 25th year I had actually crossed over into having more than a million in my bank account. I had a loft apartment, I had a sports car, I had all these fancy things. I owned three businesses, I was doing really well. And that moment I started crying and I realized, oh my God, I'm still that six year old boy in that classroom feeling like a dunce, unworthy, unlovable, not good enough. And nothing had changed. I had all this monetary success at the time. For a 26 year old you would think you have everything that you want. But I was just as helpless, hopeless, loveless, unworthy as I'd ever been. And how do you start to change that? You know, I'm going to tell you what I did that day. And so on my birthday that evening, I ordered my favorite meal. I sat in my brand new two story loft apartment overlooking buildings in Cape Town, South Africa and I poured myself at the Time I was drinking alcohol and I poured myself a glass of wine, a really nice glass. I sat down to celebrate me and I wrote out a list of all of the things I've ever done in my life that were worthy. I wrote out a list of all of the things I've ever done where I was successful. I never drank my wine or ate my dinner because it was one of the most emotionally charged nights of my life, because it was the most real I've ever been with me. And it was the beginning of my journey of actually re establishing who am I. Consciously I became aware that my subconscious mind and I didn't know it at the time, I do now because I've studied the brain, studied how it works. I understand human behavior. But at the time I was just trying to get myself out of feeling unworthy. And I realized I had achieved so many great things. I sat there thinking, you know, if I am so stupid, if I am so unlovable, if I am so unworthy, then why do I have three businesses? Why do I have so many loyal people that show up to work every day to support me and my dream and my vision? You know, why do I have family that adore me? Why do I have money in the bank? I mean, if I am so stupid, how did I do any of this? And so I started saying, am I stupid now? Remember I said to you a moment ago in our conversation, start asking more empowering questions. That night was the first time I ever asked am I stupid? And it was a resounding no. I'm actually wicked smart. I'm really, really, really intelligent. But I never believed it before. I believe everybody is really intelligent, but we the condition to believe we are we conditioned to believe we're not. And for 26 years I didn't believe I was. So I wasn' show up that way. And now today I know who I am. I've stacked so much evidence that when Rudy Rickins wakes up, he achieves greatness. That when Rudy Rick walks into a room, he leaves it better than he found it. That when Rudy does anything, it's at the highest levels possible. Never for him, but for the greater collective good. And it's only because I every day stack evidence that when I do something, I do it well. I actually celebrate now for anyone that's listening and they're not watching a video of us having this conversation. I do a fist pump every time I do something great. This morning my 8 year old son made a snide comment to his mother. My, my wife, aniston and when she walked out the room with her feelings hurt and he was just being an 8 year old boy trying to find his place. And he had made a sarcastic comment that we forgot to buy him bagels, you know, for his breakfast this morning. And I sat him down and God

forbid you forgot to buy bagels.

I mean, he was like, how could you ever forget that? I mean, I don't even know. And he was so sarcastic, it was funny. But in that moment, I sat down and I said to him, you know, in an intellectual, adult way, speaking to him, saying, you know, the other day you were complaining about how your friends were rude to you and you felt like they stabbed you in your back. Like, what did that feel like? And then he spoke through it and I said, well, you know, your mother feels like you just stabbed her in the back. You know, she loves you more than anyone in the world, we both do. But you just spoke to her like, like you didn't love her. I was like, how does that make you feel? And we spoke through this. And when he got up and he walked out of the room with a completely new vantage point, he went to hug her kisser, apologize, and he took accountability for it. He walked out of the room. I was in the back of the room going, yes, stacking success. That when I'm having a conversation with my son about how to be a man, you know, and how to show up in the world as the best version of yourself. That, that when I do that, it drives the right resultant behavior and I stack those for everything. When we hang up from this recording, I'm going to do that celebration. I'm going to say, this is amazing. This is incredible. And I do this all day, every day. Because now when my brain's running a program, it runs a program that says when Rudy shows up, it's successful. Rudy walks into a company, it's going to make more money.

And Rudy, you know what? When you do, like, from the moment I met you, like, so we shared the stage in an event called Embrace youe Ambition in Colorado. And you added value everywhere you went from the stage at dinner. And I have to say, sitting at dinner with you was the highlight of the dinner for me. Getting to sit next to you and get to talk with you. There are not many people that when you really get to meet them, they're so, they actually, I think, listen, like, you have a gift for actually listening to people and caring about people in everything that you do. So I think it's so beautiful that you took the time to talk with your son about bagels and you can support your wife in that way. And, you know, I just got. When I just got back in town, it's hard when I leave. My daughter Ruby is like, so. We. I love her. We're so. We're best friends. We are just so connected. And when I leave town, it's sometimes hard, and she gets very pouty and she doesn't want to come out of her room when I'm gone. And it's hard. And my husband has, for the first time, really, we had to talk about this and been supportive instead of saying, oh, you're leaving us again. I'm like, I'm going to work so I can earn money, so I can pay for her horseback riding lessons. I can pay for the mortgage. Like, I'm doing this for our family. Yes. Because I love it, too. But the shift was that he actually. I felt him supporting me and talking to her in a way that was like, well, your mom is gone because she's working, and that's who pays for your horseback riding lessons, and she'll be back soon. And I got back, and that, to me, was an act of love and support. And he was like, gosh, you are just so more loving towards me. Like, what's gotten into you? And I'm like, well, it's because you were so supportive. It makes me want to be so much supportive. Like, it. It just bonds you in a way when you can have those talks, those connections. And so you and your wife, you're amazing. I mean, you guys have sent me pictures of you guys together and videos of you guys together, but to hear you on your podcast is. Is just beautiful. It really is beautiful. But I want to ask. I know we're running out of time, but do you have time for a couple more questions?

I do, but I want to say something before. Before you ask another question, if you don't mind. And I want to acknowledge something. And this is for you and for every single person listening. When somebody can look at somebody else and see a quality in that person that they admire, they're only able to see that quality. That quality exists within themselves. Every experience in life, every experience in life is a mirror for what it is that you are experiencing. And so, Emily, when you so beautifully say to me that you recognize something in me or that I listen, because you've mentioned that three times on the call today where you say, you know, really you have an ability to listen, that means you have the same quality, either you're Using the quality or you aspire to have the quality and you have that quality. I feel exactly the same way about when I talk to you. I feel the same way about you when I listen to your podcast. I'm not in the conversation, but I feel like I'm a part of your conversation. I feel like I get to know you, I get to live through you, through your Instagram, through your stories, through your daughter, through your home, through your move, all of the journey that we're on. And that's a beautiful skill in itself because what you're doing is you are connecting with people through who you are in. In just showing up as yourself, authentically, in every way. You've so beautifully today spoken about how I show up and how you view me. And what I really would love to do is to turn it back onto you and say, listen to this podcast again and imagine you're only talking about you. And there is no Rudy in this conversation because it would be such a beautiful mirror to you for how I view you, how I viewed our dinner, how I viewed watching you stand on stage and getting to be a part of you when you invited me to speak at your mastermind, which I have to stress is one of the greatest events I think, of next year. Anyone who is wanting to up level themselves could just be so blessed by spending some time in your company. I'm coming to this event. I know I'm speaking, but I'm not coming because I'm a speaker. I'm coming because I get to be in proximity with Amberly Lago. You lead with love. You lead with kindness. You lead with compassion. You teach people how to not look at life as just living and getting through it, but rather looking at what your life was and turning what wasn't what you wanted it to be into something really powerful and really beautiful. And I cannot hand a heart. Find a better example of what does that look like? Put into practice. I believe that all of life is about leading by example. I teach leaders to teach people to become leaders of their own life. And yes, I do that mostly in business, but you do it in all of life by you being you and you demonstrating you in your mastermind in close proximity to who you are. You're supporting people to be the most beautiful, powerful, benevolent versions of themselves. And if there was a rule book of how to live life, it would be you. And that's why I was so excited, honored, nervous, and you know, all the anxiousness about coming onto your podcast because it's Amberly Lago. Because you set such an incredible standard and such a stage for all of us. And so I want to thank you for that. And I hope, hope every single person listening to this, they really ask themselves if they're worth living the best life that they can live. Because if they are, which they are, then they should absolutely start to follow you. They should attend your event that's going to be in March. It's going to be so sensational because it'll be the greatest gift they could give themselves. And, you know, I just want to thank you for being you.

Oh, my goodness. Can I just hang out with you all day?

All day, every day?

Well, we are going to have Fun in Raleigh, North Carolina, March 10th and 11th. And by the way, we're going to have a fancy speaker dinner. I hope you and Aniston will come on the 9th.

Yes.

It's an incredible steakhouse, by the way. I've been there before. I'm like, yes, I want to go to that place. But yeah, you are so amazing. And you know what? I love that you work with, with leaders. And we're just talking, like, today, like, on touching some of the things that Rudy does. There's so much that you specialize in and that you've helped me with as far as leadership, as far as selling, as far as, like, something that I am working on. I've. I've never done selling from stage. And so we have a lot of entrepreneurs that, that listen to this show. So, yes, people that want to learn how to step into their power, how to overcome shame, how to, like, overcome anxiety and limiting beliefs. But also, we have a lot of leaders that listen to the show. And so what is some advice that you could give someone who's like, I want to be a better leader. How can I come the be the best leader that I can be?

So to lead, by definition, is to hold one's hand and move someone forward. And if you run a company, you're leading people. Your responsibility is to hold your team's hand and to move them forward in a common, aligned goal. But I don't believe leadership is limited to business. I believe everybody, the minute you leave your house and you interact with other people, you're leading. I just explained through my lens of viewing you doing your life's work and how you're impacting the world. And I'm sure your family is so incredibly proud of what you're doing is leading by example. We're always leading. We're either demonstrating the right way to lead or we're demonstrating the wrong way to lead, but we're always leading. And, you know, what I do is teach people in any form of leadership, self leadership, or in large organizational leadership, is how to align people to live the best life that they can possibly live. And yes, we've spoken about limiting beliefs. We've spoken about subconscious minds and triggers and how to show up better in the moment and to ground yourself. But I'm going to explain it to you in the simplistic way I possibly can. Every single person on the planet is comprised of exactly the same makeup. And to describe my work would be to say there are three bodies. We have a mental body, which are the thoughts and the feelings that we have. We have a physical body, which is the structure that you're in, and then you have an energetic body. And your energetic body extends around about 15ft past you. So when you walk into a room, you can actually feel the energy of what was emotionally transpiring in that room. The best example I can give you is think back to have you ever walked into a room as a child and your parents were fighting or, you know, there was an altercation of some kind, but you're not aware of it or privy to it. But when you walk in, oh, yeah,

you totally feel it. And I'm very, very sensitive to energy. And I think it's from growing up in a home that wasn't safe, where I was sexually abused and there was alcohol abuse. And. And so I'm very. That's a gift that I am sensitive to energy. So I can read a room and I can feel the energy. And so, yeah, I'm very sensitive. In fact, even so much so that when I get a text message and it's from someone, this might sound crazy. People might think I'm crazy, but I feel the energy from that text message, from seeing the. The name on my phone. It's either a. Like, oh, my gosh, I'm so excited. I get to talk to Rudy. Rudy's texting me. Oh, my gosh. Or, oh, God, what do they want? Why are they texting me?

So let me explain. Let me explain that because it's not crazy. And if anyone thinks it's crazy, it's because they're numbing that emotion. Right? And. And we are supposed to be able to receive and understand information, not just verbal communication. You know, I speak and teach a lot of coaches how to speak, how to be on stage, how to sell from stage. That's a part of what I do. But. But, you know, when we understand communication is only 13 verbal everything.

Only 13, yes.

So around.

Yeah. And then also, by the way, guys, I want to say that, yes, he is helping me on the side to do better on stage. I'm just saying that he's like, so graciously been like, amberly, I can help you on stage. This is what we're going to do. So in March, y' all come see it, because I'll be led by Rudy. Okay, go ahead, Rudy. I just had to throw. I just had to throw that in there.

So I would say 85 to 87% of all communication is non verbal. We're actually picking up information. So I want to explain it to you this way. I want you to imagine you are going to go buy a new car today. You and your husband, you get in your. Your old car, you want to drive to a dealership, you're going to trade it in, you're going to buy a new car. So you have an intention that you want to get something that's safe, something that's sturdy, something that you're excited about, something you could be proud about. You're excited. You get to a dealership, you park your car, you climb out, you walk up to a salesperson, that salesperson walks out of the dealership, and the salesperson wants to sell a car. They want to get you into a car. They want to make money, they want commission. They want the highest levels of commission. They want to add in the insurances and the warranties and all the things to get something. They have an agenda. You have an agenda. Most times people meet and there's an equal exchange of energy, but that's not always the case. What happened if 10 minutes before you ride to that dealership, that salesperson had a fight with their spouse? Maybe the spouse said, I'm sick and tired of you. I'm over this. You know, when you come home, all my stuff's going to be gone. And then they hang up that phone or close that text or whatever the communication is, and they're feeling a lot of emotion inside, and they walk outside to greet you inside. Internally, their life is going upside down, but their function is to sell you a car. Now you walk in, you meet the guy, and immediately you feel something is off. You don't know that they're having something going on in their personal life, but you feel it. You process that as the person slimy or they're a salesman, you draw a conclusion, or you just don't like them or trust them and you don't buy the car. You get Back in your car and you go home and you come back another day somewhere else. What I teach people is how to align all three. The mental body, the emotional body, and the energetic body. So they're all saying the same thing. So that every time a person or an entire organization walks into a room to do anything, it's always aligned. Everybody knows what they're doing, how to show up. We create clear lines of communication that if something is coming up, that no one is misinterpreting any of that information, and it moves organizations significantly forward in shorter amounts of time because we no longer have this misinterpretation.

Well, how do you do that, though? How does somebody do that? Let's say you did just get in an argument with your spouse, and then you're about to get on a coaching call with a client, and you don't want to be frazzled or have them feel your anxiety or grief or depression, whatever the feeling is. How do you clear that so you can show up in alignment with what you're doing? Like, that's. That's a hard process.

So I teach compartmentalizing situations and circumstances. I'm not talking about shutting your emotion down and going to work and pretending those don't impact because they all go with you at all times. But if you can logically process information. And so if you were going to have a difficult conversation and now you're going live and you need to be on and your audience is expecting to get the best of you, and you don't have it in you in that moment, you cannot show up as the best version of yourself. But if you paused moments before and you took some really deep breaths in, deep breaths out, you acknowledged how you were feeling. I'm feeling anxious, I'm feeling frustrated, I'm feeling victimized, I'm feeling upset, I'm pissed off, I'm. Whatever. You name it. And then you breathe out and you release that anxiety, then you could say, is there anything I can do about that situation right now? No, there isn't. Can I pause this? Come back to it in an hour, allow for clarity, and then pick it up from where it is. But now, from a different lens, yes, I can. What is my audience expecting from me now? What is my client expecting from me now? What is my company expecting from me now? Whatever that is, and then create that. That safe space to step into a new role, then setting an intention for how you want to feel at the end of what you're about to do, you. So I will tell you what I did Prior to my call with you today, I've had the craziest time. I was traveling last week, so my schedule was all messed up. So everything is jumbled into this week. Next week we've got, you know, holidays and things coming up. So again, everything's jumbled into one week.

That's how it is for me, too. Like, it feels a little overwhelming. Same thing, though, Rudy. Last week it was like I was traveling and then I'm like, oh, my God, next week is Thanksgiving and everything's crammed. And so feeling overwhelmed. How do you get through that?

So I paused before each thing. So I ended one call and before I logged on to your call, I sit for a few minutes, literally four or five minutes, and I take some really deep breaths in and I close. What was my session before? I set an intention for how do I want this call to go with you? Now I hold an intention of how do I want your audience to feel, feel when they hang up from this call? They can listen to the podcast. How are they going to feel in having heard our conversation? So I set a goal and intention for that. Then I set intention for how do I want to feel about our conversation. And then I imagine celebrating it. Remember, I spoke about my success first pump. So after the call, I imagine how I'm going to celebrate that. Stand up and say, oh, wow, that was amazing. God, I love Amberly. I imagine going to my wife and saying, that was the best call I've ever had. I just love and adore her. And so I picture what that feels like and then I break out. What is the feeling I have at the end of that? And for me, the feeling I held before coming onto this was gratitude and love for you. And so I held onto the feeling of gratitude and love. And then that's the essence. Now I know what my function is in this call. My being on your podcast is not to promote my business. My being on your podcast is not to drive the result or something thing. It's simply to be of service in the best possible way. How if at the end of it, I feel grateful and blessed and love Amberly Lago, I achieved the result that I wanted. Does that make sense? So now I have my north star, my guiding light, and then I open my eyes, I click on the link and I'm open to whatever has to transpire. And so when I finish this call, I have two more calls today before I get onto the next call. I'm going to close my eyes, I'm going to breathe out, release this Call, say thank you for the gratitude of having this call. I acknowledge that it was successful in what I wanted to achieve. And then I say, what's my intention for the next call? So I don't carry the emotions from each one over. I'm compartmentalizing.

So good one. That's so good. It's like closing the computer tab. Just close down. Setting your intention is powerful for everything that you're doing moving forward. Like, what is your intention for what you're doing? That's. That's powerful. And I will. I so respect your time. Thank you so much. I know you got to get on your next call and I also know that you have a free book. Like, you amaze me with all that you constantly offer. And again, here is something that you're offering for free for people, how to align their teams. It's for really how to step into leadership. And can you. And I'll have this in the show notes for sure. And actually I will have all of Rudy's links to his Instagram. Y'.

All.

He's like famous on Instagram. Like, you should see his Instagram profile. Seriously. So you can follow on Instagram, you can hire him to be your coach. He has helped me tremendously. So you can hire him to go into your company he works with globally. You're working virtually and in person with huge teams and not just with sales, but on leadership a lot. So could you tell us exactly how they can get your book? Because I can't believe you're offering this book for free.

So, you know, I have a goal of impacting every single person on the planet. And to be able to do that, I cannot work with just a small finite number of people. And what I mean is, you know, if I have the power or the potential to offer some insights that I offer my one on one clients that I meet with either in person or virtually. What if I could offer that and anyone could click on it, read it, share it, use it and take it into their own life or their own business to create an impact that would be supporting what is my ultimate goal and vision. And so when I wrote this book, I wrote it, it to be very short, digestible in one sitting where people could read it and implement into their life and their business without spending a dime, Be able to take some of the principles that have been very successful for my clients. Taking $500 million companies to 3 billion or taking zero revenue to a million and just really helping support big and small business, but not in business in how to show up as the best version of yourself to drive your business so that the entire organization achieves its highest and greatest potential in including every person within the business. And so this is just a really short, sweet, simple book that helps people take something and apply it into their life immediately. And so I'll drop the link in for you so that you can offer it to everybody. But it's really Rickstein.com forward/freebook. And so we're going to offer it to anybody that wants it. And I just encourage people to read the book with an open mind and to say, you know, where am I in my life right now? How am I leading my life? How am I leading my business? And then who do I really want to be and how do I want to show up? And if I could be more intentional, how would I do that in the world? You know, something that I teach is a process called priming, and I teach it within business. And priming is about how do you prepare yourself in the morning to live the highest and greatest potential of yourself? So at 4:00' clock this morning, I was in deep meditation in my office imagining this interview. I was imagining each of my calls with each of my clients. I go from one company to one individual client to one podcast to another interview. And everything is very different. And I have to be the best version of myself in every one of them. But if I don't know what I'm going to do in each one, what my intention is for each one, how I want to feel when I'm finished with each one, I'm just going to be throwing a whole lot of stuff against the wall and hoping it sticks. And so, yeah, this is a really simple book that teaches people how to prime, how to be the best versions of themselves, how to teach that to organizations. I've literally taken this into 3,000 person companies, and each person's been able to adop and improve the quality of their life. So it's not hard. And it translates from one person to 3,000 people and more. I mean, it's to anybody that wants to impact it. And so I encourage anyone that feels that anything we've spoken about today resonates with them to click on it and then to apply the principles to their life.

Oh, thank you so much for that. And you know what's so crazy, Rudy? I have four pages of notes of questions that I had written down to ask you. No joke, like pages of notes. I didn't even look at my notes at all because when I start to talk to you, I'm Just like, oh, my gosh, it's such a privilege and honor to get to talk with you and get to ask you questions. So, one last question. What are you going to talk about in March in Raleigh, North Carolina?

You know, I. I thought about that question so much, and I have to tell you, I'm so excited. Said it's such a privilege for me to get to work with you and to support you at your event, and I cannot thank you enough. I think what's going to serve your audience the most is talking about accountability. You know, when we want to live the best life that we can, we need to start by first looking at ourselves. Everything that's happened in our life, everything that we want, and then taking 100% accountability for how we are there, why we are there, and what it is that we want. And only once we do that can we show up to love the best versions of ourselves. You know, when. When you speak, you're always giving so much value, but I acknowledge people need to be open and ready and receptive to receive that information. And so to talk about accountability kind of helps people set the stage of when Amberly starts to talk. As an example, when your additional 7 speakers who are phenomenal are going to be speaking, that everybody really sits back and says, you know, I understand. I bought a ticket to attend. I know, I understand I want to have a better quality of life or I want to want to live more like Amberly does, or want to achieve more of the success that Amberly has. We can consciously, logically know that. But at some point in time, we have to say, it's up to me to create that shift or that change. And if I don't change something, nothing's ever going to change. And so I think accountability is. Is definitely the opening discussion, and it sets the stage for how everybody gets to show up to live the best life they can. I want to end by just saying that every single dream that everybody has, because we all have dreams, every dream that anybody has, they only have that dream because it's their destiny to achieve it and to fulfill it. And we don't always and have not always been given the necessary skill set or the tools to fully express ourselves, because at some point in time, someone called us stupid or not good enough or not lovable or labeled us in some way, shape, or form. But I don't think those things happened to put us down. They beautifully, perfectly, divinely happened to prepare us to us to achieve what it is that we want. And so I want you just to sit back and ask yourself, what was your journey? How has it prepared you? And then really clarify, what is it that you want for your life? And that at the end of it, how do you want it to feel when you stacking and celebrating the success of your entirety of your life? What is that one emotion that you're feeling? And then bring that emotion into your every minute of your every day? And so if you really want, want freedom and you want abundance, how can you create freedom right now? How can you create the feeling of freedom and fulfillment right now and start living from that vantage point? Because the life and the dreams that you have, they're there for you and you're worthy of having them.

Rudy, oh my gosh. I just love you and I think I need to have you open up the whole event in March and close the event. You're amazing. You are amazing. Seriously. I thank you so much for your time. You know, I just. Anytime I get a chance to talk with you, I. It's. It's a just an honor and a pure joy. This has been the highlight of my day. I've been so excited about this, you guys. Please check out his new book that he is so generously giving you. The link is in the show notes. You can find his website in the show Notes. If people want to reach out and connect with you, what's the best way that they can do that?

Anyone can schedule a call with either myself or with my team on my website. I am available and I do have a certain number of appointments are available to connect with individuals to see how we can best support or align to move people forward. And I encourage people to do that. So any one of my courses, programs or a direct consultation with me is available on rudyriksteins.com yeah, and the spelling

of his name is in the show notes because it is a little tricky.

Oh my gosh. I wish it was just like Rudy.com but that was taken.

Sorry, guys, but it's in the show notes. Thank you so much for being on the show, Rudy. I love you. Thank y' all for tuning in this week to True grit and grace. It. You know what, Screenshot this and tag us and I'm happy to share it along anytime I see you share it in your story. I'm happy to share it my story on Instagram or on Facebook. I'm a little lower on Facebook. But anyway, tag me so I see it and I can tag you back. But anyway, Rudy, thank you again for sharing your wisdom, your heart, your inspiration. I so appreciate you.

I appreciate you. I love you and I'm so grateful for you. Thank you so much. Have an amazing day.

You, too. I'm excited to see you in March. Y' all come see us in March together. And that link will be in the show notes, too.

It.