Step into Your Greatness with Alexander Gonzalez

Thank you for tuning in to the True Grit and Grace podcast. I'm Amberly Lago, and I'll be sharing inspirational stories of resilience and empowering ideas to elevate your business and your life, ignite your passion, and fuel your purpose. Hey, it's Amberly, and welcome back. Or welcome for the first time to True Grit and Grace. I'm happy you're here. I have been wanting to do this interview with my good friend Alexander Gonzalez for a long time. We've known each other for a couple years now. We've been trying to make this happen. We were speaking at an event together in Denver, and it was. We were having so much fun, we didn't get to record the podcast. And so here we are now. And y', all, he's an amazing. He. He's an amazing entrepreneur, but more than a speaker and, you know, a social, audio influencer. Badass. On Clubhouse, that's where we met Ketopreneur. Husband, dad. He's just a beautiful, beautiful soul that has really transformed trauma. He's turned pain to purpose. He's got grit. He has given himself grace, and he gives so much grace to others. He's transformed his health. And today he's here to tell us how we can transform pain and overcome shame. And so, Alex, I love you, friend. Thank you for being here.

I love you, too. I'm so excited to be here. Literally, so excited. You're the queen of true grit and grace, so I'm excited to do this with you.

Well, if I'm the queen, you are the king. I feel like our stories we have, although our backgrounds are different, we have been on kind of a different journey. It's so similar in so many different ways. And I remember the first time I met you was actually in a room on Clubhouse. And your voice, you just bring this spark of joy everywhere you go. But then when I got to meet you at the first event that we ever did together, there was instant connection. And then I realized why, and it's because we do have similar trauma that we've overcome. But I would really, like, dive into that a little bit because I know we have a lot of listeners that they look at you and they're like, oh, my God. But he's got it all figured out, and he's got great hair.

If y' all watch this on YouTube,

you will know what I'm talking about. He's got, like, perfect hair, and it's fun, and he's got so much energy, and he's the most incredible speaker and he. And he knows how to pray really well. We'll get to that story a little later because, you know, it's hard when you see somebody like, gosh, they're so successful, but you don't realize all they have overcome and maybe still overcome on a daily basis because we all have challenges. So I would like to share a little bit about your journey growing up and a very, very scary, traumatic event that happened that I don't wish upon anyone, but I know it happens all the time.

So unfortunately, yeah, and unfortunately, it happens way more than we know. Actually, I've come in the last few years as I've been so much more open and willing to talk about this, realize that the percentages are much higher than. Than what even the experts think. And so I always love to start by saying that I was blessed and won the family lottery. When it comes to parents and siblings, I won. They have the most loving, safe, wonderful household to be brought up in. And I'm grateful for that because the trauma that did start to ensue in my life, I don't think I would have come out the way that I did if I didn't have that love and support. About the age of five, I started being sexually abused by a family member. Not in my immediate family, but I would go stay the night because of was a family member. And my cousin was similar to my age. And it was just a fun thing. It was. I thought I was just hanging out with my cousin until one night things were a little bit different. And it was in the middle of the night. The man who at that point was my uncle came in and then the abuse started. The abuse started for about three years, started about the age of five. It didn't end until I was almost nine. And I can literally remember begging my parents not to have sleepovers. And they didn't understand why. And I couldn't say why because my abuser would told me that they would kill me. But me coming up with every reason not to go to my aunt, uncle's house, and coming from big Latino family, that is not an option. You know, you go to a Titi and Tio's house, you go do these things, it started to shape who I was in the wrong way. Because love, affection, touching became something that was a little bit scary and negative and really attached to potential death. You know, honestly. And, you know, I know that that's something that we share, but I was scared so much. And also my abuser said to me on a regular basis that it was my fault that I did this to him. He wouldn't have done the things if it wasn't for the way that I. I don't know what I did. I was a little boy and I don't mean to laugh, to make light. This was very serious and it still, to this day, as a 40 year old man, affects me. I almost didn't have children. My wife and I got married with the understanding that I didn't know if I wanted to bring children into this world because I was so afraid that the same would happen to them. The good thing is, is that now, and obviously fast forward to where I'm 40, I can sit, Amberly, in a place of not just forgiveness, but gratitude. Gratitude that my light shines so brightly, that I am such an energetic, magnetic being that this person couldn't help themselves. And I know it sounds like a weird way to think of it, but it's actually really helped me in the healing process to understand that my light shines so brightly that another human was repulsed by it so much that they needed to dim it out as much as they could. But by the grace of God, it was never dimmed.

The thought of, you know, when you think of your own kids. I didn't realize when both of my daughters were around the same age as me, when I started being sexually abused, I didn't realize I was a little triggered seeing them at that age and, and I would be overprotective and get really like mama bear would come out when anybody would even look at them, right? And I was like, where is this coming from? And it hit me one time when I snapped. My husband wasn't doing anything wrong. We were looking at pictures of our daughter on the computer and he's like, oh, look at the kids, they're so cute. And I was like, why is that picture on your computer? It's like it was a picture, it was a normal picture. That was my issue, you know what I mean? That I was like, oh, and you think that you've done a lot of healing from that, but things still come up where you realize, oh, there's another layer there that I haven't quite why it healed. How old were you when you decided to talk about this and admit that something happened and, and what happened to your uncle?

So I was 13. So at that point it had already been four years since I was ever last abused. And I will say that what happened at this age was probably not the best way to handle the situation. I think my parents did the best without knowing what to do. I Didn't at first want to name my abuser. I was still genuinely terrified. So at first, when I told them that something had happened, it was, like, very vague, and I couldn't give details because they would ask me, where did it happen? You know, they. They went on to Mama Bear and Papa Bear mode and were, like, ready to rip the world open. And I couldn't give them anything because I was still terrified. And so I didn't tell them who it actually was. I think I was. I was older. I was a teenager still, but I was older. And at that point, that marriage had already been dissolved, and that gentleman was no longer living even in the state. So nothing was really pursued as far as any legal actions. I don't even know what the statute of limitations are on that kind of thing. I know that there's time limits. Anyways, my parents asked me how to proceed, and I said I just wanted to get off my chest. And they kind of. To be honest, I think that there was shame there as well, you know, and my father's a pastor, and my mother's now she's on the school board, but she was a teacher. And it was this, you know, perfect family, and how could we have let this happen under us? And there was even questions at first, like, are you sure that that's what happened? Are you sure you're remembering correctly? Again, I don't necessarily think it was the right way to handle it, per se, but I do think that they handled it in the best way they knew how, because this was. This was when I was 13. It was 1995. This was still taboo. It's 2022, and it's still taboo to be talked about. Do you know what I'm saying? And so. But especially then. And it had brought up a lot of confusion in my life. And I think that the focus for them was more of, let's get him healed so that this doesn't have. It was almost like, let's brush under the details and. And just work on the fact that this happened. And that's the first time I went to therapy, which was around the age of 13. I was the perfect therapy patient. I said all the right things and got through the hour as quickly as I could. I would cry on cue. And I think that this man thought that he revolutionized my life, you know, and the reality was I was hiding the pain, and I wasn't really wanting to deal with it. So I said what I thought he wanted to hear.

Wow. But then the pain is still there, and the Shame is still there. So how did you get through those moments?

I'll be very honest. Early on I turned to drugs and

alcohol and which is very common.

I started with just drinking beer at parties and smoking weed that ultimately, you know, went into trying a bunch of other things. By the grace of God. I never fell down the path of opioids or some of the more addictive pathways that I could have gone down because those numb much quicker than a lot of other things. It was like a lucky thing, I think, because I just wasn't around it. But anything I was around, I tried. If it was ecstasy, if it was mushrooms, if it was any type of psychedelic cocaine, I was trying it and using it and ultimately abusing it. At the age of 19, I went back to therapy because that's when I realized things had kind of gotten to a head. And at that point I was actually diagnosed the sexual addiction. As well as just, you know, having an addictive personality. I used drug, sex and alcohol to numb the pain that I was feeling. What's funny is it's almost like I had forgotten where the pain was coming from. Does that make sense? I just knew I was not feeling fulfilled within myself. And for these brief moments, these actions made me feel good. And I chased feeling good. It's still something that I chase, but it's been a shift on what God's done and how I chase it. And we'll get into that. But at 19 was when I really kind of started doing the work. But I'll tell you, it was not until I was 35 on stage with Mel Robbins, best selling author, an incredible public speaker. She wrote the book the Five Second Rule. I get pulled up on stage for some one on one coaching in front of 3,000 people. And we were talking about the negative loops in our head that, you know, unworthy, blah, blah, blah, that we keep looping and telling ourselves. And she starts asking me, where do you think it started? Where do you think it started? And I remember making up things because I didn't want to answer the question in front of everyone. She turns her back to the audience, she puts both hands on my shoulders, and she asked me in front of, you know, 3,000 of my closest friends, are you a victim of sexual abuse? And for the first time ever, I decided to speak open and honestly about it. And I said yes. As I say yes, I break down. I mean, I'm on stage, she starts coaching me, working me through these things. One by one. Everyone in the audience starts standing up until everyone's in the audience is standing up with their hands out towards me like this. And I promise you, and this is going to sound woo woo and weird and whatever, but I could physically see what felt like a ribbon from their hand to me. And the only thing I can describe it as is it was love. I could feel their love and I felt their love. And in that moment, I physically felt chains. Like, I felt like something from my back released. And for the last five years, I've been so open about it, I cannot tell you the countless people that have come to me after I'm at a speaking engagement and I share my story that it's their story. From grown men breaking down crying on me, to actually one time an elderly woman in her 80s in a wheelchair hugging me, crying, saying, I've never told anyone but what you went through, I went through. Through. Wow.

Oh, my gosh. And you know, I always heard that saying, the truth will set you free. Might kick your ass a little bit before, but it will set you free. I remember you sharing that story at a speaking event we were doing. And I was like, wow, to be up on stage to have that happen. And I want to know, like, going back to, like, when you started using drugs and alcohol and sex and anything to try to numb out and just feel better with your mom working for the school, your dad being a pastor, how did they handle that? Did they know you were doing drugs and drinking a lot?

But they knew something was up. I was at Florida State University. I grew up in Orlando, Florida, and I went actually a suburb called Oviedo. And then I went to Florida State University. So I'm at Florida State University at this point point in a fraternity, doing all the things, looking on the outside. Like, I'm having this wonderful college experience. But my mom and dad knew otherwise. I will tell you, my mom has the gift of discernment. Like no one I've ever felt I've ever met. And there was a night and they would tell me that they're praying for me every night. And one night at like two something in the morning, my mom gets woken up and she falls to her knees and she prays to God and she says, I release him. Him to you, God. Do what you must. The next day I'm calling her because at two something in the morning, the moment she was woken up and put on her knees, I was being arrested for possession of cannabis.

Wow.

And I had to then go get a lawyer. I had to go through the whole. I had to call mom and dad and go through this Whole process. And my mom believes, and I believe as well, that that was the wake up call. Let me tell you how much of a wake up call God gave me. The next night, I'm a freshman in college still. I go out with my. One of my fraternity brothers throwing a party. I get arrested again for underage drinking. So 22 hours later, not even 24 hours, within the same day, there's a party of 150 people. They. Everyone, which is underage drinking, you know, they pick three people. I'm one of them, and I'm arrested for underage drinking. So when God decided to give me the wakeup call, he smeared my face in the cement a little bit. And I am so grateful because it scared me enough. It scared me enough to realize I need to make a shift. It scared me enough that it lo. I lost my full scholarship. I had a full ride and then some. Well, most scholarships have a little caveat that if you get arrested for drug abuse or alcohol abuse, your scholarship's gone. Had no idea. Scholarship taken away. So those arrests actually impacted me so much, I had to go through what's called the diversion program. I end up going to this. I get selected to represent Florida State University in the Faith and Values forum because I was a. You know, I was very involved, and I got to meet Senator Bill Nelson. And that ultimately is what started the shift because he gave me a second chance.

Wow. And, you know, there's so much to be said for people who will just give you a second chance, who will believe in you enough. And so. And. And for those wake up calls.

Yeah.

And. And you know what, Alex? I feel like you, yes, you are blessed and you're lucky because so many people, they get arrested, and it's just the beginning, and they get arrested again and again. And I say that because I have family members and close friends that aren't lucky enough that they never got either out of addiction or they're. They're still in jail. And so I think that, you know, what you have done with everything that you've gone through, and now that you are a light for others, that's the grace that I'm talking about. That's God's grace right there, that you've gotten through those moments. But. But for you to share on stage about what you have gone through with the, you know, overcome the sexual abuse and correct me if I'm wrong on this, because I don't know statistics, you probably know a lot more than me, but I feel like, you know, it's much more Talked about with women being sexually abused than men, 100%. I think that it takes so, so much courage for a man to admit that that's going on. And I think it's sometimes harder for men to be more vulnerable and share. Not that it's easy for women. It wasn't easy for me to start talking about, but the more I shared, the easier that I. Yeah. Or therapy, and the more work I did on myself, the easier it got. Do you find that a lot of men come up to you, or the more women.

I would say that it's about 50, 50 that come up to me. But I am always astounded at the number of men that do come up to me to tell me that my story is their story. And I think it's in large part because of shame. Right. So unfortunately, the majority of abusers are male, and so most men, when being abused, it's very rare that a man is abused by a woman, sexually abused by a woman. That does happen, but it's not as common as being sexually abused by another man. And so I think that because especially within the church and kind of our culture that was so conservative for such a long time and really didn't operate always through love, that this regression of hiding who you are, the feelings that you have, manifests itself oftentimes in pedophilia, in certain things. And so now you have men who have been abused by men, and they are embarrassed. They, you know, is the world going to think that I'm a homosexual? Which is like, who cares if they think that? You know, what are. Why are we also tied to these labels when the reality of the matter is, is that you were abused, your abuser, chances are, was abused. That's how. Unfortunately, it's. It's a repetitive pattern. By the grace of God, we are breaking those patterns. But it's a generational curse. My father was abused, I found out when I was older.

Oh, wow.

By someone in his family, not blood related to my abuser, you know, because that was a marriage situation. And so you hear of these things that happen, and it's so common, and yet we don't talk about it because of shame. And we need to eradicate the shame. And especially when it wasn't my fault. At 5, 6, 7, 8 years old, I'm a. I'm a child. I had no say in what happened to me.

And those are such transformative years, too.

Oh, transformative.

Yeah. And so how do you get rid of the shame?

You know, to be honest, I still feel the shame at times I still. If I really think about it and any. If it, If I. The picture pops in my head, you know, if you can, like the. Almost like a movie reel of what happened, which sometimes does. It can break me. It can stop me flat, you know, take my breath away. And like, why did that pop into my head? And so it's constantly, constantly, constantly loving myself, forgiving myself for all the things that I've done. Not the things that other people have done to me, but the wrongs that I have done and just really surrounding myself with people like yourself that see the beauty, the light, the power within me, call to it and aren't afraid to amplify it. And that's really. Because on a daily basis I'm. It's an uphill battle. If I'm very honest, I suffer. Now I've been, you know, clinically diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and it's an uphill battle every single day. But I put my shoe on, I put my pants on. Well, not in that order, but. And I take, you know, the steps every single day that I need to. To get to where I got to go.

Well, I. And I appreciate you sharing that too, because I think that, you know, we got through a lot of hard times with, with COVID And the first one, it first went through the pandemic and then it was like, okay, it's two years later. And I hear of a lot of people that they're struggling more now than they were when things first started with a pandemic.

100. Well, I have a master's in psychology. I don't. So that, that's. I love this topic. Right. And psychopharmaceuticals are being prescribed now at like a 33% rate higher than the history of psychopharmaceuticals, which is medications for psycho psychological abnormalities or disorders or whatever it is that you might be suffering from. It's never been antidepressants, anti anxiety. Never in the history of these medications have they been prescribed as much as they are today.

I'm not surprised. I'm not surprised at all. And, well, what do you do to get through the moments when you have anxiety or you wake up and you're like, I don't know how I'm going to get through this day. I don't want to get out of bed.

So that's the best question, because the reality is, and this is so annoying and cliche my answer, because I hated this answer, but it's really the truth. You have to be so tied to Your why you have to understand. Why are you waking up in the morning? What is your mission? What's your purpose? What are you going to do today to accomplish? Who is. Who is relying on you if you don't? And that for me is the biggest question that I ask myself is if I don't wake up today and operate in the best version of me. Alexander Gonzalez, who's missing out quickly, you can think your kids, your spouse, right. They're going to miss out because you're not at your best level. But who isn't going to. Maybe who's going to miss out that doesn't know me yet because I didn't walk out the door with my smile on my face and I didn't greet the cashier like I normally do. I can't tell you how many servers or cashiers or random people said to me. In fact, there was one person. I can tell you a quick story where at Fridays and the cashier, I mean our server was just on my heart. I'm like, something's wrong. Something's wrong. And I just said to her, I just want you to know that you are so beautiful inside and out. And it's been such a pleasure. She breaks down crying and was going to kill herself that day. Was going to kill herself that day. Well, guess what? If I didn't wake up with the best version of me in tune to all the things around me, choosing to shine light in lights of places of darkness, I wouldn't have seen the darkness and I wouldn't have shined the light. And who knows where she would be.

Yeah.

And so it's having to understand that it's not all about you.

Well, who does that for you? Who inspires you?

Oh, I love this question. So I am blessed to be inspired by a lot of people. I will say that first and foremost, my brother, my sister, my mom, my dad, my immediate family, my wife, my kids inspire me every single day. I'm married to. She's a former Marine.

She.

I mean, she is.

I love your wife.

Yeah, you know, the, the people that can do anything. It's kind of like a. You. You probably do everything really well whenever you try.

No, I met her. I love your wife and your kids are so amazing. Your family, just such a fun, badass family.

But yeah, I agree and I love that her and I love being inspired by them. But outside of that, like, I love people like Ed Mylett, for example, and my let. I love anyone who can have the intersectionality of self development, spirituality, Christianity, but also Drop the F bomb or, you know, like, because growing up in the church, I just was so tired of this fakeness at church. And then when you got out of church, everyone acted a little differently. And I know God always says jesus wants us to come as we are. And that means sometimes we say badass, you know, and we don't bat an eye about it. Sometimes we have a glass of wine, sometimes fill in the blank, whatever it is. And so I'm inspired by people like that. I have a couple mentors in my life. Jason Cisneros, you got to meet him at the last event. I helped get him at that stage. He is someone who has amassed a massive fortune. But that's not even what impresses me, is he takes that money now. He rescues kids in, you know, sex trafficking situations. Literally flying in, taking them and saving them like that, to me is a hero. That inspires me. People like yourself that have a mission and they get on stages and they share that mission with thousands and thousands of people like you. The Marcus blocks, the Trent Shelton, all those people that inspires me. So I find inspiration really everywhere I look. But I'm always looking for that inspiration.

That's key, what you just said. You're always looking. And I think it's so important what we put our focus on and what we look to, to, because it's so easy to get caught up and focus on the negative. But if we're looking for the positive, we're looking for the good in someone. If we're looking to other people, just like you did for that waitress, I mean, you are so in tune with people. When you are around people in person at an event, you are there, you are so present with them. And I think that, that, that might be a gift also. And when you have been abused or come from any kind of trauma, or when you're younger, you begin to become very aware of your surroundings and very aware of reading other people. I have found, and I see that in you. And you've probably saved more lives than you ever even know because of all that you share on Clubhouse, how you show up on Instagram, how you show up and you make people smile. And then you're an incredible leader, too. And the transformation that you've had on your, your health journey and lost, I

don't know, 80 something pounds, 84 pounds I've lost. Yeah. And it's been incredible. And, well, and I realized the weight was such a shield. I amassed a lot of that as a shield and not because I was trying to make myself not attractive, you know, because that is the case in some situations. For me, it was, I, it was really comfortable eating what I wanted to eat, drinking what I wanted to drink. And I could bring myself pleasure, albeit very short lived pleasure, but I could bring myself pleasure by doing that. When I made the decision to change myself, I knew it couldn't just be physical, it had to be mental, had to be spiritual, had to be all the things, otherwise the stool would fall over.

It's so true. Good point. And people ask me a lot. Like there's a lot of people ask me, I get this question a lot. Well, how did you get in remission with complex regional pain syndrome? And I'm like, well, I'm not actually in remission. I still get flare ups every week. Actually, I will get a flare up, but it's what I do physically, mentally, spiritually. Well, they will. What do you take? And I'm like, it's not just what you take, it is what you do. And it seems like it might be a lot of work to pray, to meditate, to work out, to eat healthy, to take the right supplements, but it's a heck of a lot easier than a life of misery. And so for someone who wants to get started on a transformational journey, whether it be like they're, they're finally taking a look at themselves and going, you know what? I don't want to hold on to this shame anymore, right. Or I don't want to hold on to the weight either. What would be the first step that they could take to move forward?

Great question. So first and foremost, change happens when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of change. Because change is going to suck. It's not going to be easy. It's going to take dedication. So first you have to look inside yourself and realize, are you ready? And if you're not ready, that's okay. There's many people who want things, but not everyone is ready to actually get what they want. If you want a different body, if you want to look like Amberly and be fit and be able to be a, you know, fitness model, etc. It takes, it take. I mean, you're, you do push ups, you work out, you're dedicated to your health and wellness, you're dedicated to how you eat, etc. Not to say that you don't enjoy everything, right? You're not living the strict restrictive life, but it is still an innate part of who you are because you are ready for that. So number one, check in with yourself. Are you really ready to do what it takes? Because if you're not number you're wasting your time. But you're also wasting whoever helping you time. So figure that out. Are you ready? And if you are ready, I could not have done it alone. I don't care what anyone says. There's people out there. I needed a support system. I personally need a support system. Because when you are morbidly obese, you do not get there without some sort of abnormal psychological disorder happening up here. Okay? Because you're eating compulsively. There's so many things. So you need someone, be it a therapist, a coach, Amberly, you know, someone that could come into your life and help you with all the areas and keep you accountable. I turned to my whole network. I literally weighed myself on a Facebook Live. My very first Facebook Live ever. Back then it counted 3, 2, 1. I'd never even done a Facebook Live. I went to a Publix, which is a local grocery store, and I weighed myself for the world to see.

Oh, you're kidding me.

Yeah. And I was huge. And I say here, I'm like, I'm done. I need help. Keep me accountable. And can I tell you, people did. I started doing weekly weigh ins on live every Wednesday. I journey. I literally journeyed the whole six months that it took me to lose those £84. And people would message me if it was 9:20, because I always went live Wednesdays at 9am where's your live? I don't see it. Did you gain weight? It wasn't always nice why people were reaching out. Most people wanted me to fail, but that actually kept me accountable.

And so that would motivate me even more.

Oh yes. Literally the message. Did you gain weight this week? No, I lost five pounds. Thanks. You know, it was my favorite, but I was grateful because I asked for it. And I think that that's another thing is like really making sure. And there's different books out there. Listen, everyone has a morning routine and a way that they say that they. You need to get your day started, figure out what's best for you, whatever that is for you, and then stick to it. And that's it. Find a part, make sure you're ready. Find someone who's going to help you or somebody's who are going to help you, and then come up with a plan and stick to that plan. You know, I. I could give you a bunch of different ideas or whatever, but the reality of the matter is if you're not ready and you're not willing to commit. It's never going to happen.

Oh, I love that. And it is so much about commitment and accountability and persistence and I could not do, and I don't want to do hard things alone. I mean, I couldn't, I, I, I told somebody just the other day, they're like, oh, I gotta, I just got a trainer. I'm like, oh my gosh, that would be amazing. I would love a trainer. He goes, well, you were a fitness trainer for 26 years. You don't need a trainer. I'm like, it's always good to have a trainer. I mean, I would love, I said it's the accountability. I mean, you know, I love working out. To me, that is my non negotiable. So.

Right.

Even like today, my to do list is so long, I'm behind on emails. But you know what, I got my workout in because I was like, the emails will still be there. I need to focus. If I don't work on my physical health, my emotional, my mental health starts to go. So it all goes hand in hand. Everything, everything.

And I love that you have those non negotiables. And I think that all of us need to have those things that we sit down within ourselves and say, I'm not willing to give this up and this is something that I'm not willing to miss. I will not lay my head down to sleep unless these things are accomplished. And then really stick to them and then give yourself grace with the rest. The non negotiables, in my opinion, get no grace. They got to get done. The rest you have Grace. Your emails, that's Grace. Your to do list, that's grace. But your workout is a non negotiable. No grace. You miss out today, you did not accomplish the day. You have failed. And that's okay as long as you move forward. But that's really how I think about things.

Well, if somebody wants to, you know, they want, they're like, okay, I want to be more like Alex. I want to like learn how to let go of shame. I want to, you know, I love how open he is and I want to start doing more of like, where can they find you? Where are you hanging out the most? Because I know you're on all platforms, but where can they hear more of Alex?

Yeah, so I Instagram. I'm not the fat dad. That's definitely the best place to find me on Clubhouse. I'm Alexander Loves. I'm one of the.

Are you there a lot?

I'm on Clubhouse every single day. I have a couple really big segments with Breakfast with Champions still. Which, by the way, we got to reschedule you on there because I have.

I would love that rolling out.

It's going really well.

So I have not been on Clubhouse as much. So it's still hopping over there, huh?

I'm not on as like I used to be. I get on for my scheduled segments, I do what I got to do, and then I get off.

Okay, so when. When are you on there?

Every Monday, 7am Eastern Standard Time to 8am Eastern Standard Time. That's my segment with Breakfast with Champions. And then Monday through Friday from 11am to 1pm we host under Breakfast with Champions, the social media show where we all. Where we talk all things social media. So on those days, I'll pop in, but on Wednesdays, I run the 11 to 12 segment, 11am Eastern Standard Time to noon Eastern standard Time on Clubhouse as well. But Instagram is really where you can connect with me, interact with me. That's where my DMs. I'm very good about reaching out and talking with people there. It's where I feel the most creative. I allow myself to kind of create on that space. I'm not the fat dad on Instagram, and I love it. But Clubhouse is still fun. I mean, I'll tell you, it's not how it used to be. It's definitely a little bit different. But Breakfast with Champions is a podcast now, and they download everything onto the podcast. And we've had hundreds and hundreds of thousands of downloads. We did 75,000 downloads within the first 30 days.

Wow, that is incredible.

Yes.

Okay. And so I know you do a lot of pr. You talk about social media a lot. What do you think about Tik Tok? Should people be on Tik Tok?

100%. I was telling people to get on Tik. I have so many people on my team that have gone viral with hundreds of thousands of followers on Tik Tok, and I can never get past 12,000. For whatever reason, Tik Tok and I, we didn't mesh. But Tik Tok is where virality is the most accessible at this point. TikTok. I just heard today on the news this morning that Tick Tock surpassed Google as a search engine.

Are you.

I really want to re. I wanted. It was on Cheddar News on my. On my Alexa. I don't know how much truth it was to it or not, but it. It as this Alexa hears me here. But yeah, supposedly it is now the number one search engine, TikTok. So.

Oh, my TikTok is really.

The thing is with all social media, consistency is key and I'm a big believer that if you're not having fun doing it, then don't do it. Don't stress yourself, don't force yourself to do something that it's not fun. Now the non negotiables you have to do regardless if they're fun or not, but for the most part. And so I'm actually starting a new podcast, Amberly, and it's going to be called the Funpreneur and it's how to keep fun in your day to day and how to really blend family and work. Because I don't believe in the balance. I don't think the balance is attainable. I think it's a blend. How can we bring like my kids were at the event with my wife, hearing me speak. That's a blend. And now we could share that time together. And so that's what I'll be talking on. And so hopefully I'll have you as a guest on there.

I would love that. I would love that. I. I think we need that more than ever. And especially for families who are trying to find ways to, to blend. Like to, to, to. Because for me, I travel a lot and it's hard to be away from family. So how can I bring them along and stay a little late, you know, So I love seeing all your travels and you'll. So when is your podcast coming out?

So the goal is September. So it's going to start in Q4 and it's going to be just that, you know, it's different entrepreneurs of different walks of life sharing how they keep the fun in it or sharing how not keeping the fun caused, burnout caused divorce caused whatever it is. Because like you said, we get the privilege of traveling and speaking. Well, if I'm doing it for my kids and my kids are my why. But then what I'm doing for my kids takes them away from me all the time. Then there's a disconnect there. So how can we marry it in a way that works good for everyone and have fun while doing it?

I love that. So y', all, check him out. You're gonna love all of his reels on Instagram. They're so much fun. I love all your dancing reels. And then give us your website so they'll be able to to find all the other. Because you guys, he does so much and he is such an amazing speaker, but also you are such an incredible mc.

That's my favorite thing in the world.

I mean, really, I was just talking about you, about your emceeing, because there's an event coming here in October, and I'm like, well, I have a friend, but he might be booked out, but if you want him, you better call him. But so you are such an incredible mc. You have such a way of, yes, introducing everybody with legitness, but making the audience laugh out loud, too. So, yeah.

So we have to have fun, Amberly. God put us on this earth to rejoice, to have fun, to wake up with a smile on our face and go to sleep with a smile on our face and constantly have that smile throughout the whole day. And for some reason, I think Covid has something to do with it as well. We've lost the fun in so many things because Covid, everyone became an entrepreneur. And then so many people, so many of my entrepreneur friends are like, I don't think I'm cut out to be an entrepreneur. I'm so burned out. It's been two years, bro. How you burned out? You know, like, it's because we're not keeping the fun in it. So let's keep the fun and let's have longevity.

Oh, my gosh. So good. Yes. So it can be sustainable.

So.

Oh, my goodness. So your website so people can find.

Oh, sorry. So notthefatdad.com I am rebranding all these things. So it's going to be AlexanderLoves.com which is up. I think it reroutes right now. So actually I'll just say www.alexanderloves.com. that's where you should go. And again, I'm not the fat dad on Instagram, and I'm just super excited and blessed to have been here. Thank you so much for having me, truly.

Oh, thank you so much for sharing your heart, your wisdom, your love. And I will hopefully get to talk to you again soon on your podcast that we'll all be checking out and on on Clubhouse. So thank you. Thank.

Pleasure. Have a great day.

You too. Thank you. Thanks, everybody for tuning in. And if you really like, if this touched your heart, go ahead, take a screenshot. Whether you're listening on your favorite podcast platform or you're catching on YouTube, take a screenshot shot and tag me at Amberly Lagomotivation or not the fat dad. And yes, thanks for tuning in.