Make it Happen! Breaking Free from Your Cage with Henry Ammar

The greatest decision we'll ever make is to be the decider of our life, to choose our life. The greatest gift we have is choice. Yet it's so easy to give up our choice, to fear. Feel like we're in a cage. Feel like, oh, I'm just going to stay here because if I step out of my comfort zone, then this is what's going to happen. But guess what? That means you built a cage for yourself.

Welcome to True Grit and Grace, a podcast designed to empower you to claim your resilience and thrive through life's challenges. I am Amberly Lago, a mindset coach, fitness expert, and bestselling author. Each week, I'll dive deep with the world's brightest thought leaders and elite performers to share tangible tools and practical advice to inspire you to keep your eyes on the prize and forge ahead. So get ready to conquer your fears, heal any trauma, lead with your heart, and elevate your life with grit and grace. Hi there. Welcome to another episode of True Grit and Grace, where we're learning to bust through our fears, persevere through life's challenges, and be resilient. And I am so excited to bring on the next guest because he is one of my most favorite people in the world. He is the founder and CEO of MakeItHappen Life. He is an empowerment coach. He speaks globally to hundreds of thousands of people. He's an artist. He just has a new video out called Tomorrow. It's amazing. I cried when I watched it. An amazing TED Talk that I've watched a few times. And truly, I know he's going to change your life and shift your perspective and empower you to overcome any fears. So without further ado, Henry Amar, welcome to the show.

Thank you so much. That was, like, an amazing intro.

You're amazing. And I'm so glad, so glad I caught you because you travel all over the world. And thank you for making the time to come.

This has been a blessing already to me, so thank you, really. I know anybody listening to this podcast or you already know Amberly is the real deal. Like, pure heart. When I first met you, I left your presence, and I was like, holy cow. My, like, energy level, my frequency is so much higher. So thank you for just who you are. I'm serious.

I feel the same with you. Like, this morning when I pulled up, I was like, there he is, and running across the park.

It was like a. Like a scene in the movie, running towards each other.

And, you know, you came over to my house, and as you know, my Husband, he loves you. He follows you on social media. You guys follow him on Instagram at Henry Amar and see your daily uplifting post. But I want to talk about how you weren't always this, you know, so filled with courage and a go getter and, you know, you. I've seen. Seen some of the places that you've spoken, pictures of you speaking and singing and performing in front of hundreds of thousands of people. And it wasn't always that way for you.

Yeah, people don't believe me. I used to be the most insecure, passive person. My nickname was passive. Where my friends would be like, so passive. What do you think? And I was like, I don't know. What do you think? Right. And so I was super caged with fear. And I think a lot, you know. And now that I speak across the world, you really see there's an epidemic of fear. And it shows up in insecurity and fear of failure, fear of success, you know, in all worrying what other people think about you, you know, comparing. It just shows up in so many ways. And there was a moment in my life where I was just so case. Even though I would talk to people inside, you never felt like you belonged in a room and never felt like I was enough, you know, and one day I was like, enough is enough. Like, I don't want to feel caged anymore. There's got to be a way if that person is confident, if that person is happy, if that person is successful, like, we're all people, so what are they doing to get there? And I got super obsessed with how do I liberate myself? How do I make myself free from anything that binds me? Because a big premise for me is freedom. I want to be free. And so, yes, I got obsessed. My cousin gave me a book and I started reading the questions, and something inside of me said, you can change. Like you can choose who you want to be. And, you know, it took a little process because I was picking up every book that I could at the time and studying people. And I heard a phrase. Now it's courage is confidence. Courage becomes confidence. Sorry. And I was like, I have to ask people how they do it. So I would email different people and I would pick their brains if I saw they were confident. But I realized that there are true principles to life. And now I'm so grateful and I'm glad I went through it because if I could plug anybody into my brain, listening, some people may see me and say, there's no way. Look at you. You're on stage. You're doing this, you're doing that. Like, you're putting out all this stuff. And I was like, if I could plug you into my brain, you would believe anything is possible, because I was so the opposite of where I was internally, especially, and that's what matters the most. And it's funny because I ran into this lady. Her name is Jewel. She's amazing. Old school Jewel.

Old school Jewel.

Old school Jewel. She's so funny. She has a real thing, and she asked me to be on her podcast, and I was on there, and she goes to me, she goes, do you remember when I first met you? And I said, I remember because we were on a bus going to Jessica Simpson's birthday party. I don't know Jessica Simpson.

She was a CEO. Yeah, yeah.

And she goes, do you remember how scared and shy you were? I was like, please, tell me more. And I was like, tell me this story, because I don't know that many people that knew me when you were

really scared, because that is the total opposite of you now. I remember I met you when I was in Salt Lake City, and we were speaking in a conference, and I saw you, and you just had this big smile, and you made me feel at home. You know, you were just such a bright light, and you got on stage and you're so confident. And I think what it is, too, you lead with your heart, and you can tell that you are authentically loving, kind, and you want to be of service and help others, and it shows.

Thank you so much.

But I never would have imagined you being shy or passive because you're totally opposite from that now.

Yeah. And I hope anybody listening, if you feel like there's fears or there's insecurities, or you feel like I may not be enough or I don't belong in the room, like, I am here to tell you you do, and you are enough. And it's possible to change. It's possible to grow. And if you're listening to this podcast, you know you're inspired by Amberly. Like, it shows that something inside of you is telling you there is a part of me that doesn't. There's something that sees it, right? If you spot it, you got it. Like, if I'm looking at you, Amberly, and I'm like, I love her radiance for life. I love that. I wish I had it. I remember I used to hear people speak, and they would stand on stage totally confident. And I remember specifically, like, I want that. And then someone once said, if you spot it, you Got it.

I've heard that saying.

Yes.

And that can be a good thing

or a bad thing or a bad thing. Yeah, totally.

Some things I'm like, oh, yeah, well, that's me. I don't know if I want that,

but, yeah, I'll work on that a little bit more.

Exactly.

It's like, you look at those people, and I was like, man, I could do that. That's inside of me somewhere. So, you know, if you're listening to this podcast and you were feeling this way, like, let this be a podcast of hope today, because your past doesn't have to equal your future if you don't choose it.

Yeah. You know, I love that. And I have people that reach out to me a lot and say, I want to be a speaker. How do I start? Like, they want to go on stage and share their message, but there's something. They either make excuses or they're letting fear hold them back, or they don't feel like they belong on stage. What would you suggest someone do if they say they want to be a speaker? They want to share their message. What would you tell them to do if there's one thing you could say to kind of get over that fear?

Yeah. I have a couple of things that popped in my mind when you're speaking. First is every professional was once a beginner. Right.

Everybody told me that right before we started. Because I told you, I'm scared. My podcast is new. And you said, what scares you? And I'm like, technology. It scares me to death. But I felt better just having you sit with me and walk me through some things, you know? But sorry I had to thank you for that.

Absolutely. But I love your humility. You know, I think no matter where you are, like, we're always growing. You know, if we're not growing, what's the point? You know, we should always be stepping out of our comfort zone, or your comfort zone. If you stay in, it means you're just going to keep getting what you're getting now. Right. And so if we don't step out of our comfort zone, it means, you know, our comfort zone is a zone of safety. But that's not where the magic happens. That's not where faith is required. That's not where courage is required. Right. And honestly, people say it's so hard to step out of your comfort zone. Actually, it's harder to stay where you are because all of us have this dream. And so, you know, every professional is once a beginner. And I remember in the very beginning when I Quit a job to do what I do now. And I quit a very, very lucrative job to do what I do, what I do now. But I knew my heart was calling me to something. You know, I had to answer this call. And I remember a couple of things happened when I first started. I was like, yeah, I'm gonna launch this and it's gonna be huge. It's gonna be great. And I go out there, and six months into it, I'm looking at my Instagram and I'm like, I only have 395followers, and 390 are my friends supporting me. It's like, this isn't working out. And I was like, you know what, Pivot. Just go learn from it and pivot. You know? And I reframe the phrase failure. You know, if I go after something and I fail, I'm not a failure. I'm a grower, I'm a doer. I'm someone that has courage.

And I've learned my biggest lessons from my failures. My biggest things that I will never forget. And that's something that I try to explain to my 11 year old, too. Yeah, she started a new school. It's really big. And she forgot her name tag once. And it was something she will never do again because she got sent to the dean's office. And it's like those moments when you're 11, that's a huge deal to get sent to the dean's office. There are moments when I have failed big and I won't forget those lessons. And so I love that you say pivot, because that deciding factor of, okay, well, we can just keep going. We'll go in a different direction. And I try to look at everything as a learning opportunity.

Absolutely. I love that it's the truth. Because look at anybody. Like, if you're thinking of anybody that you really admire and that's really successful, go look at their history. I guarantee you, you look at Walt Disney. He went bankrupt. They told him he wasn't creative, he's failed in his business. He was struggling financially, and then now everybody knows Disneyland. Yeah, right. And you look at the guy that found his Starbucks 254. Banks told him, no, Lucille Ball, don't be an actress. Meryl Streep, you're too ugly to be an actress.

Look at Lady Gaga.

Yes. All these people that you look at, go look at their history. People that you look at. My friend was telling me a story about Bruno Mars when he was trying to be signed and he worked for a record company, and he said, Bruno would come in and they'd be like, oh, that guy's here again. He just kept singing and singing and singing for people. And then the record company was like, oh, we don't know if we want him. And one person took him in his ring, and all of a sudden, one song blew up. And now he performs the Halftime.

He's one of my favorite. Yeah, yeah. And I love what you said about Instagram, too. You know, I had someone ask me. They're like, you know, I want to create these beautiful posts. You make these really awesome posts. And I leave. You know, my post from the very beginning, when I had about 200 people following me, and I was excited when I had more than, you know, I had double digits of likes. I was like, oh, wow, 11 people liked my post. I kept those posts. And I said, if you go back and look in the beginning, I said, this is a learning process, and I am just trying to figure it out as I go along. And I think one of the things you said to me earlier today, that's key for people listening that are struggling, because this is something that I had to learn. And you told me before we even started recording the podcast is reach out. Reach out for help. Yes, because I told you. I was sitting in front of my computer and I was struggling, and I was so scared, like, I was going to erase one of their recordings or. And you're like, reach out. And I think that's so important to reach out to somebody for help.

Absolutely. Absolutely. Reach out. Like, we're all in this together, right? And if one person can't help you, someone else will. And there's. You know, and just keep going. If you're focused on the prize, don't focus on the obstacle, because the second we take our eyes off the price, things get much more difficult, you know? And you said something earlier, and I think that you're a great example of Zamberly, like, leading with your heart. And I remember this. I learned a valuable lesson. I remember I was doing an Instagram live, and as I was speaking, I was thinking, this is the worst thing I've ever done. I was mumbling over my words. I was stumbling. Like, I was in my head. You know those moments where you're just like, oh, yeah. And I was sitting there, and at this point, I could speak for, like, a really long time. Two minutes into it, I was like, okay, cool. Well, until next time.

See you.

You know, And I end it. And it says, do you want to share this live for 24 hours? And I was Like, I would be inauthentic to my word if I said no, because I'm all about, just do. Just be authentic. So I said, yes, share. And literally, it had to be within five minutes. I get a DM and I open it, and it's this kid in India telling me, I want you to know your Instagram life saved my life today.

Oh, my God.

He said, I had this thing happen at my school, and I came on Instagram and I was like, oh, I'm just going to look at this right now. And he goes, and you said this one line. I mumbled, I stumbled. I jumbled through my words. He said, you said this one line, and it's exactly what I needed. So thank you. You saved someone's life today, and you have a new follower.

Oh, my.

And in my head, I'm like, whoa, that was amazing. And so it doesn't have to be perfect. What has to happen is we just have to come authentically with our heart. And your people will show up. Eventually, they will show up. If you show up authentically, you show up with who you are. The people that aren't yours will fall away, and they may say things about you. Let them say things. But your people will show up. Even if it's one person that needs you. Isn't that enough? Yeah, isn't that enough?

And I think it's easy to get caught up in, like, I know for me, I try to remember, it's progress, not perfection. It's progress, not perfection, and I will get caught up. And just like yesterday, I thought about you, actually, because I listened to your podcast all the time. If you guys haven't heard this podcast, it's amazing. You're amazing because you come on and you give, like, this uplifting inspirational talk that makes me feel like, okay, yeah, I got this, you know, and so I was listening to your podcast the other day, and I'm like, oh, okay. Well, I'm just gonna record my message for mine. And I'm like, I worked on it for a while, and I kept editing, delete, delete, delete. And I went downstairs and I told my husband. I was like, this is so much harder than I thought. And then I thought, you know, it's just making progress. Yes, stop trying to make it perfect. Just. Just do it. And I find that a lot of times, that's when I feel my best, is when I just do it. I don't try to overthink it. Just do it and stay in my heart.

I love that. You know, if you go back to the beginning of my podcast, same as your Instagram. I have, I think, like, five or six episodes. And then I stopped for two months. And if you listen to the beginning of my podcast, my art was different. I had no intro. I literally was like, man, do I delete? I was like, no, I need to keep this on so for people to hear the progress. I don't even know what I was talking about. I didn't know I was talking about. But if you go to episode number one, I told myself, and I think I talk about. I'm like, all right, guys. I talk about just starting stuff and just doing it. So this is me just doing it. And it's really funny. It's on a mic that wasn't that great. I don't even know what mic it was on. It might have been on my phone. And then you look back, and I stopped for two months. I was like, okay, no, I think. I don't know how many episodes I had, but I was like, okay, you did it. Now what message? Who do you really want to serve? Let's get out of your head. Who do you really want to serve? And I came back in March. I was like, I'm just going to go in and just serve. Because the thing is, if we're here to serve, if we're living in fear, we can't fully serve. And my goal is to remove that. But the glory isn't about me. I don't care. Like, you know, it's funny. I was just on stage and at a music festival with a lot of people, right? And I got off stage, and someone's like, you never even told him your name or your Instagram handle. Like, you could have gotten tens of thousands of followers from it. I was like, you know what? It would have been a good idea for me, But I was so in the moment of, okay, what do they need? What do they need? And I think when you lose yourself and you come in with your heart and you say, what do I really want to give? Who needs my message? Who needs. Because, look, if you're listening to this, I really hope you know that you have something to offer. You can touch people that Amberly and myself that I can't touch. Like, everybody has a different story, strengths, talents, experiences that are such a unique combination that you can touch, so everybody needs you. And I think when we recognize that we lose, we step out of the way and say, okay, well, let me just show up the best way that I can, you know? And when we lose, the glory isn't about me. Like back in the day when I was in my music, we perform, it's like girls are scary for me. Cool, right? You know when you're like, you know, you're 20 and you need the validation. Right.

And so.

And when I'm growing through that stuff but now it's like whenever I feel that fear, I'm like, what am I focused on?

That's a good thing.

Yeah, yeah. What am I focused on? What's my self talk? What is that conversation going on in my mind at this moment? Because my emotions are indicators. So your emotions are just indicators. So as soon as you feel an emotion and it could be any way, there's a recipe to that emotion. It's what is your self talk? What is your focus? What imagination are you putting on? Because imagination is the language of the subconscious mind. So that's what's triggering these emotions. So if you could learn the recipes to what you keep going to, then you could change your self talk. You could change the images in your mind and it will naturally, just by way of programming, release different chemicals in your brain.

So when you have like say in my head and I'm doing some negative self talk saying oh my gosh, I'm just not good enough. Everybody here is more qualified than me, those kind of thoughts. What would you do in that moment?

For me, there's three different things that I do. And first one I'll keep it really, really simple is I have this thing that I go, okay, Henry, emotions are indicators. I don't resist it. I don't get upset by it. I don't like, I don't beat myself up because I have this emotion because look, love is the answer. Love is the key self. Love is everything. And I know it sounds very woo woo and cliche and whatever but look, if I'm not going to tell myself the truth if every time I do it I beat myself up, if every time I do something I go in like why would I go to you and tell you the truth if we're going to go. And when I do it, you beat me up every time I tell the truth, right? So I'm gathering my thoughts because there's like 14 thoughts I want to share because I'm still and I'm taking notes.

Okay, I just got out my notebook. I'm serious.

So awesome. So first thing is don't beat yourself up. Don't resist it. Right? Because what you resist persists. And so knowing that when I discovered I celebrate the fact that I found it. I celebrate the fact that, like, okay, I discovered this thing. It was funny. I was sitting there with this girl, one of my friends, back in March, and we're sitting there talking about her love life, and we're. I'm talking through her stuff, and I was like, you know what? It's all about being, you know, free and not the walls you put up to protect yourself from hurt are also the walls that keep love out. And then all of a sudden, I stop, and I'm like, oh, my gosh, wait a minute. Like, I'm caged to. I'm feeling caged, too, you know? And all of a sudden, I got really excited that I discovered that. And she looks at me, she goes, why are you so excited? And I said, because I discovered what is keeps holding me back. I said, so I'm not upset. The fact that, like, you know, so I was a little distracted. All of a sudden, it's like hip hop music. See, this is the best part. This is actually a really good example for you. Because back when I started my podcast, I used to freak out, oh, my gosh, it's not going to be perfect. There's music playing, and my guest is, like, distracted by the music and this, this and that. But I'm like, now it's like, this is real life.

Yeah. And that's the thing. Like, there's always going to be distractions. And one of the hardest things, I think, for me is when I'm giving a presentation. Like, I just did this presentation, presentation, and they were serving food and drinks in the back of the room, and there were some rowdy, drunk people back there, and they were having a good old time. And God bless them for having a good time. I'd want to do that, you know, have a good time, too. But it was so distracting. And I started getting in my head, and I was like, okay, get out of my head. Stay in my heart. And as long as I can, just stay in my heart.

Yeah.

Then I'm okay. I love that.

That's actually. Right now, it's funny because if you go back and listen, I was sort of, like, stumbling over my words, because in my head, I'm like, okay, do I get up and turn this music off, or do I keep going? And then I caught myself, and I was like, no, let's just. And then you catch yourself running into your head. And that's the key, is when you catch yourself, and this is it. So, you know, when you figure it out, don't resist it. Get into your heart. And I'm Going to give you a quick little easy way to remember that. I call it stop, drop and roll. And so for me, gratitude and love are the highest frequencies. Right? When you're in gratitude, you're in a really, really good space. And so whenever you feel the emotion come up, I pause for a second, I pause. It's okay to pause for a second and I'll drop into my heart.

And one of the quickest ways, so stop, stop, drop is pause, drop in

your heart, drop into your heart. And if you're having a hard time getting into your heart, think of something you're grateful for. Think of three things you're grateful for. So because they say when you're in gratitude, you release a totally different chemical in your body. And they've actually done studies where your heart and your mind waves are completely different and in sync when you're in gratitude than when you're in fear or frustration or, you know, anger or whatever that is. And so you stop, you can get into gratitude, go into your heart, breathe deep into your heart. And when you're in your heart, make a decision, then roll, then take the action I love. Otherwise you're running around like a chicken with your head cut off. And you know, if you listen to me now versus like two minutes ago, you hear a completely different tone. And I caught myself and I was like, Whoa, Henry, like 14 things were going on at once and my system was like, what is going on right now?

Yeah, I think I was like, where's that coming from?

What's going on? And like loud hip hop music. Yeah, and so the more loving self awareness you can have. And look, let me go backwards just so we can reiterate. So first, when you figure something out, don't resist it, don't beat yourself up about it. Love yourself through it because it's the only way you're going to get through it. Right? Where focus goes, energy flows. So if I'm sitting here and I discover something I don't love into myself and I'm focused on saying, I can't believe I'm this. I can't believe I'm this, what am I focused on? I'm focused on this problem. So if I'm focused on it, what am I giving energy to? I'm giving energy to this problem. I don't want to give energy to that problem. I want to give energy to the solution. I want to give energy to the light. I want to give energy to love. Because that's where I'm going to grow. So I discover it I acknowledge it and I say, okay, now what's the truth? Okay, what's the truth? Right? And so I get into that space. So it's really, really important for me to really have self love, self worth, self awareness, and it's all leading you towards that. You're not going to get it perfect right away. Let's just do you the favor and tell you you're not going to get it perfect so you don't have to put that pressure on yourself. So I used to walk in a room and feel like, holy cow, I don't feel like I belong here. I'm not enough. I'm not enough. And not to go back in and say, okay, Henry, what is your self talk when you walk in the room? What pictures are you putting in this room? And the crazy thing is you could have the same scenario but different belief systems and you'll get a completely different outcome. Imagine scenario one. This guy walks in a room, he runs a pattern of insecurity of I don't belong here, of people are going to look at me funny. He walks in a room, people turn around and look at him and they're like, and what does he think in his head? His self talk starts to say, oh my gosh, I think my hair is funny. Oh my gosh, I think this, oh my gosh. And guess what? His actions start indicating that. He starts becoming more standoffish, more fearful. They feel his energy, they become more standoffish. It validates his opinion. And now a cycle happens. What he believed manifests itself. Now let me flip the script. Some guy walks in that is confident, is like, you know what, I'm going to come and I'm going to add value to this room. He walks in the room, people turn around and look at him. What does he think? Oh, they must want to talk to me. Oh, they must want to do something. You know, it builds him up, he acts differently, he turns brighter, they want to talk to him more. And now you validated what you feel. And at some point you realize for me, you know, validation is for parking, right? It's not for you.

I love that.

And so I just realized for me that like, I need to have self worth. I need to determine my own worth. I need to sit here and decide in advance how I'm showing up. Because you cannot go on autopilot. Because if you go on autopilot every day, and this is another one, I've given you guys like a thousand things because I get so passionate about it and I'm like, I Love it.

You guys, I'm sitting here taking notes too. Like, I'll listen to this again, but I take notes that I will look at and remind myself of because this is so good.

Thank you so much. You know, it's interesting and I love that you said it, because as I'm speaking right now, I want you to know that I'm not imagining me speaking to many people. I'm imagining one person sitting on the other side on the speaker listening to this. And I'm imagining them. It's one person that I have so much compassion on because I was there. And I'm sitting here with fire because I'm like, I want you to know that this is possible. I want you to know that, like, autopilot doesn't work. I've lived on it for so long. Because if you go to autopilot, you're running default mode and you're reacting to life. And what does the word react mean? It means you're re acting out the past and you're not moving forward. So decide in advance, move yourself forward. Step out of your comfort zone. Courage becomes confidence. Like, you're not going to get it right right away. And you look at me in my life and I look back and I look at through the years. I mean, even a year ago, I'm so much more confident. Right. One of my favorite quotes is, if we haven't spoken in over a year, allow me to reintroduce myself. Because my growth game is strong.

Oh, wow.

And I'm like, I'm all about growth. I celebrate the growth. So look in the mirror. First of all, can I just give him a challenge?

Yeah.

Like, I would like you to look in the mirror and look directly into your eyes and just imagine looking into your eyes and just celebrate. Look at all the things you've overcome. Look at all the great things about yourself. You know, if you have a good relationship with somebody, how would you treat them? What would you do for them? You would look at all their strengths and you would tell them, like, you know, Amberly and I, for example, like, we sit here and have a love fest in the beginning. I sit there like, Amberly, you're such a bright light. You're such a beautiful soul.

Soul.

You're lighting people up. I see you with your grit. I see you with your perseverance. I see you despite your pain. You're going forward and you're inspiring the world. Like, I'm finding all of her strengths and I'm saying them to her. And then if she comes up to me. And she, quote unquote, has a weakness. I don't sit there and beat her up over it. I'm like, cool, let's figure it out. We'll make this work. Well, let's do it right. And so that's the relationship we need to have with ourselves.

Exactly, exactly. Because, I mean, I know I can beat myself up pretty good. I can be so hard on myself and I try to catch myself and immediately replace that negative self talk. And I see so much. I just saw exactly what you're talking about. With my daughter finally starting to believe in herself and have some confidence. She is a horseback rider and a couple of months ago she did a competition. And there's so much to do with horseback riding. The horse knows. The horse knows if you're not feeling confident, if you're scared, if you're giving up and they've got your number. That horse refused every jump. She got disqualified. She was crying, had like sobbing snot running down her face kind of crying. She's going to kill me when she hears this. She's like, I quit. I give up this and that. And I told her trainer, I was like, well, she quit. And he goes, let me handle this. And he walked over and he's like, nope, don't attack that horse. I've got somebody that wants that horse. You quit. I've got somebody that already wants your horse. And she was like, oh, no, no, I don't quit. She went home, she practiced like every day. And she just did another competition this past weekend. And she truly believed that she could. She worked so hard. She got eight first place ribbons and one champion. And the horse wasn't different. Same horse. It was her belief in herself that she could do it, that she could get this huge horse to jump over things. And they were a team. And I saw, wow, just believing in yourself, just walking into a room and the way that you, what your mindset is when you walk into a room, like when I first met you, you not only were confident in the room, it was like you were welcoming everybody and making them feel confident. And that's what you do. You have such a big heart and you're so confident, but you teach other people how to do that. You make them feel a part of. And you have a way of genuinely empowering people. I mean, you've made me feel that way. I mean, it's because of you that I'm even really, you have a big part of me doing, you know, it's been in my heart and on my Mind to do this podcast. And you are really responsible partly for me getting this recorder and going for it. And that's what you do. You empower so many people, whether you are on stage, whether you are walking into an elevator and talking to people, or whether you're doing your coaching one on one or doing your mastermind. And I know you have a mastermind that is coming up. Did it already start?

Yeah. No. Thank you so much, by the way. I genuinely am grateful for your words and I'm so grateful. And so doing a mastermind group, I'm putting together a group of people that to me, want to make an impact, that are leaders or in their own right or want to be leaders, but have a heart, you know, it's important to me for both, right? Someone that wants to grow, but someone that has heart to make an impact and step into the best version of themselves, removing limiting beliefs, removing all negative emotions and all that stuff and really helping them. You know, I re identify with their highest version of themselves. Not that I am not enough, but the I am the highest version of really reframing people's brains to do that and rewiring them all. And I'm a nerd about this stuff. Like, I've been obsessed with it for years. So to me, it's not a rah rah inspiration. It's about transformation, you know. So, yes, I'm putting that together. So thank you for bringing it up. So if anybody's interested, you're welcome to apply for it. I am being, you know, interviewing people to keep it a little bit more selective and for these groups. But in putting the right people in

there, I love that you're doing that. And that shows that you genuinely care that you want to make an impact in people's lives, that it's not just like, yeah, sign up for my course and this is what we're going to do. You're like, no, this is for people who are serious about transformation and really becoming the best versions of themselves. Because you're going to be working, like, really intensely with these people. And so I love that you're doing that. I also wanted to bring up your TEDx talk that I saw and I watched. I was crying, like joyous tears, but such a beautiful thank you talk. You just are so comfortable on stage, in front, you know, it's a big deal to do a TEDx. I remember when I got asked to do a TEDx, the moment I always wanted to do one, in the moment that they asked me to do one, I would have Thought that I would have been jumping up and down with joy, like jumping on top of the sofa, like so excited. I got the email that they wanted me to do this talk and I was scared to death and was sitting mostly like a little rolled up ball on the couch. And I was like, why am I so scared? And I think it was because I was in my head and I was so worried. I don't have a message important enough to share. What if people don't like it? It was all the what ifs, what ifs, and I really had to snap out of that. Did you have any moments of, oh my gosh, I'm doing this talk. Were you scared at all?

Your thoughts always will show up, right? I heard a phrase and I love it. I use it a lot. It says, thoughts are like birds, they'll fly over your head. Just don't let them build a nest.

Oh, I love that they're gonna fly

through and so just don't let them build a nest. Like you're gonna have thoughts, but what are you gonna give energy to? And it goes back to really being in charge of our self talk, in charge of our thoughts, in charge of our images that we put into our minds. So I definitely have those thoughts. If you see me on stage before I go speak sometimes. You know the crazy thing with the TEDx talk? This is crazy. Everyone's like, I'm really crazy now. So when I speak, I usually just go from my heart. I go with like what I feel I'm supposed to do. Some days I feel like, okay, prepare this outline. Some days I feel like, just get up and you're going to know what to say. That was a get up and you're going to speak for text. I didn't have like, I knew the gist of it, but I had to follow my intuition, spirit, whatever you want to call it, to just go up and speak. And I was like, it was, thank you.

And you can tell it's from the heart.

Thank you. I was like, oh my gosh, I probably should prepare. You have a set time. For me, 15, 18 minutes is really difficult.

It's harder than 40 minutes.

I think it's way harder. And for me, like I do my retreats, like I'm doing a retreat in Scotland in April and I love those eight days because you're like all day, really good in the mix. I'm like 15 minutes.

So for me that's scary because you've got like, for me I had 14 minutes and it's 14 minutes to share the most important message of your life.

I love that.

That's crazy. And they were like. And this is what they told me, don't talk about your motorcycle accident too much. We want to know about that. But don't talk about it too much and don't talk about God.

And I was like, interesting.

Oh, wow. Really? Oh, yeah.

Crazy.

Yeah. Because you're going to be talking to a lot of scientists and students and blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, okay.

Craziness.

Yeah. So I felt a lot of pressure.

Yeah, I bet. Holy cow. Yeah. It's interesting. Those moments in life are the ones that really shape you. I think it's when you challenge yourself and when you're curled up as in a ball, or when you have those thoughts. Like, I remember the moment as you said that. Like, it's interesting because moments popped in my head of when I was in those situations, and I was like, am I gonna be able to do this? Am I going to be able to do this? Right? And you realize that when you do it and you're done with it, it becomes an experience, right? And so.

And I think for me, what I do when I'm in a place, when I'm feeling some fear, is I take one action step. Like, for me, anytime I'm in fear, if I can do one thing, it gets me a little bit out of that fear. And then if I can do one other thing. And that's what it is. It's just taking those babies. Sometimes it's baby stepping it all the way just to get out of that. Because I really kind of feel like I don't live in my comfort zone. I live in my, you know, out of the comfort zone for sure, a lot. And to me, like you said, that's where the magic happens.

It really is. You know what's crazy? I did a podcast episode called Comfort Zones. I recorded it. We just met with Yoko Ono, which was really cool, in John Lennon's apartment in New York. And I went back to the room I was staying at, and I sat there and I was like, if people knew how often I was out of my comfort zone, they would think I was crazy. And I just had to record and speak on it because you were so right. And here's the thing. If you're listening to this and, you know, if. Good reminder for me and to decide in advance how you're going to show up today, right? If you know you're going to step out of your comfort zone, if you just kind of go on autopilot, like, okay, you could say, I'm going to do. I'm going to step out on this comfort zone today. This is what I'm going to do. I know it's going to be uncomfortable. This is how I'm going to handle it in advance. It's not going to be perfect, but if you can choose to show up, if you can choose to be present, or if you can choose to do whatever those things are, you become the chooser. And this is one of the greatest phrases that I say, and one of the most important things that I say is the greatest decision we'll ever make is to be the decider of our life, to choose our life. The greatest gift we have is choice. Yet it's so easy to give up our choice, to fear. Feel like we're in a cage. Feel like, oh, I'm just gonna stay here, because if I step out of my comfort zone, then this is what's gonna happen. But guess what that means you've built a cage for yourself. Like, let's break free from that cage. Like, decide your life. And just like when you were a child, you know, if we walk, right? Like, we walk and we fall. We walk and we fall. We walk and we fall. We don't stop and say, oh, gosh, I fell. I'm gonna stop walking. Yeah, you keep going until you walk, until you run, until you skip, until you dance. And some people do backflips, right? So stay with it. If you mess up, great. Like, just choose your life so you can look back at your life. And we're talking about my music video, but I wrote that song called Tomorrow because tomorrow becomes tomorrow, becomes next month, becomes one year, becomes five years at the end. Yes. And you're like, what did I do with it? Did I live in a box? Did I live my life?

You know, And I think that once you realize you have a choice, you take your power back.

Yes, 100%.

Because I felt so disempowered for a long time, especially when I was, like, stuck in a bed. Like, I was stuck in a bed for so long. And then I. Even if I could make the smallest of decisions, I felt empowered. And I think that, you know, truly that's what you do, is you help people see that they can be powerful leaders and have the life of their dreams.

And you, you're such an example of that. I remember during our podcast, we talked about serenity prayer. And, like, you know, it's, God, grant me the serenity, the peace to accept the things that I cannot Change. You could. You were telling me, like, I couldn't change being in a bed. You know, the courage to change the things that I can. You're like, henry, I decided this is what I was going to do and the wisdom to know a difference. And you're such an example, your life is such an example of that principle of, I can't control these things, but what I can control is myself. You are such an example of that. So I literally left. I was like, wow, people don't understand. Like, we think, oh, yeah, she was in a bed. But, like, think about that. Like, you were in a bed thinking, you're going to lose your leg and you're in pain and you're struggling, yet you're still wondering, how can I help people? You're like, what can I do? What can I do?

What can I do? Right? And it's all how you look at it. And, you know, sometimes you just have to do stuff. Scared. I just talked to my grandmother yesterday, and I said, I've got some big events coming up. And I said, you know, I'm just gonna have to do it. Scared. You know, even if I can't take all this fear, I will use that fear to fuel me, to just keep going, you know? And like you said, it starts to build confidence, and it's like, what can you do? And that serenity prayer is on a big wooden placard in my closet, and I read it every day. And it's a good thing, no matter what is going on in your life, just to remember that. So what can you do? And I always, what can I do? What can I control? What can't I control?

And a lot of times, you know, look, it's not saying you're not the victim, you're not a victim. But to play the victim versus the owner, you give up your power. Like, take your power back. Say, this is my life from here on out. This is what I'm choosing. I couldn't control the past. I can't control what's happening around me. But what I can control is what I can control. And I'm going to control that. Or else we give it all up. I remember. I know we talked about this, and, you know, your husband brought it up, but, like, my mother was diagnosed with cancer. Like, I remember in the very beginning, I said, I have a decision to make right now, because my mother is my best friend. She was like, everything to me. And I looked at my sister, I said, we have to decide. We're showing up. We have to decide. How we're showing up in advance because it will get tough. I said, we can't control that mom sitting here in a bed and she has cancer. What we can control is how we show up for her and how we show up for ourselves and our friends and our family. I said, we'll have hurt, we'll have emotions. I'm not saying. I'm not taking those away. I'm not saying ignore the reality, feel the reality, but choose the most empowering way. And I remember there are moments when you're sitting here, my mom is at 70 pounds. I'm changing my mother's diapers. It changed in a day. Yet I drive around, I'm crying, and I'm like, okay, time to go back and show up. And it's through those moments of life where I said, I can't control the situation. But what I can control and who I can control is how I show up for her. And I remember this is one of the pivotal moments in my life where maybe heavy for some people, but I'm holding her hand, and it was the last moments of her life, and she passed away. And I remember telling myself, henry, you have a choice here. You can either choose to live the rest of your life angry about this, or you can choose to honor her life with how you live yours. And it was a choice I had to make. And I knew at that moment the decision I made was going to determine the direction of the rest of my life. And so I said, you know what I said, I don't even know if I said audibly, but I said, mom, I will honor your life with how I live mine. And I was going to go through the same situation. I couldn't control the situation. All I could control is Henry and how I showed up. And so in life, things are going to happen. You know, you got in your accident, you know, I lost my mother. All this other stuff happened in our lives, but the one thing you can control is you. How can you step into it? What can you do? If you're going to go through it, grow through it. If you're going to go through it, live it, you know, and be a light when you do it, because it's in the resistance that you develop character and strength. It's in the resistance, it's in the difficult times that I always say, you know, when you fight this dragon that's in front of you, when you slay that dragon, your strength will become equivalent to the strength of that dragon. And so whatever dragon you're fighting, know that you will slay it. If you step in, you're more than a conqueror. You can totally stay. And when you do, you will be as strong as that dragon is, and life will never give you something that you can't handle. So if it's tough, take it as a compliment.

Oh, yeah.

You know.

Yeah. It builds character too, doesn't it? It builds a lot.

Sure does. Sure does.

Well, I just appreciate you.

Thank you so much.

So much. Thank you. What is the best way to reach you if they wanted to sign up for your mastermind or just to see you? When are you going to be performing? Now.

Thank you so much.

I've seen Henry perform. Oh, my God.

Thank you for being there. She was rocking out.

It was awesome. Oh, my God. Dancing amazing. Like I said, you are such a bright light. And so anything you do, I'm like, sign me up. I'm there. Where can. How can I be there? So how can people sign up for your mastermind? Are you going to be doing any yes. That people can come to?

Yeah. So you follow my Instagram? It's henrymar. H E N R Y A M M A R I usually post everything that's going on there. Facebook, my Facebook page, and my goodness, Henry Mar as well. Those are the main two platforms that I go on and post. My website, henrymar.com but I primarily post on Instagram and then Facebook.

And I'll have all this in the show notes. So look in the show notes. If you are listening, something keeps coming to mind.

Do you mind if I just say one thing? And I just feel like I need to share this with somebody. Like, I hope you that you're listening. I hope you know that you're important. Like, I really, really hope you know and that you're truly important, that you're needed, that you're valid, that your gifts and everything, like you just are important. And please take that in and take that into your heart and receive it. And if you don't believe it from yourself, believe it from Amberly and I. For now, until you believe it yourself, please take it in and just know that your life is important, it's valuable, and you're needed on this earth. And I just felt like I needed to say that. So if one person listening to it, needed it, or all of them, I just want to share that. And you could listen to my music on Spotify. Henry Moore, you can go to YouTube. My music video that's out that Emily was talking about, but.

And your podcast is amazing.

Thank you. Making it happen with Henry Moore. I have a podcast interview with Amberly on there. That's awesome. Thank you so man. Thank you for listening and thank you for having me on. Like this has been such a blessing.

Oh thank you for just being here on my podcast and everything that you do. I love you and I'm so grateful that you took the time to share with listeners.

So thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Thanks so much for joining us this week on True British and Grace Podcast. If you like it, please rate it or share it with your friends. That would help too. If you're not yet on the newsletter list, come over to amberlylogo.com and jump on it. While you're there you can grab a free downloadable gratitude journal and you might just want to check out my book or even check out my monthly motivational membership. Thanks again for tuning in and and we'll see you next week.