How to Become a Remarkable Sales Leader with Ben Ward

Welcome to True Grit and Grace, a podcast designed to empower you to claim your resilience and thrive through life's challenges. I am Amberly Lago, a mindset coach, fitness expert, and best selling author. Each week, I'll dive deep with the world's brightest leaders and elite performers to share tangible tools and practical advice to inspire you to keep your eyes on the prize and forge ahead. So get ready to conquer your fears, heal any trauma, lead with your heart, and elevate your life with grit and grace.

Hello and welcome back to the True Grit and Graduation Grace podcast. I'm Amberly Lago, and today on the show, I have one of my really good friends, Ben Ward, here with us. We were in a Mastermind together. That's how we first met. And I just love his storytelling most of all. But look, I've got his new book, y'. All. He has been for over 20 years coaching people. He's been in sales, leadership and executive leadership, training and development. He's a sought after keynote speaker. But like I said, mostly I love your storytelling. And you have this book that has been. It's already a bestseller that you've written with Greg Reed. And I am blown away. Les Brown is shouting out your book. You've got a foreword by Brian Tracy. And I'm just so happy for you about your book. So I have so many questions for you, but what? Welcome to the show. Thank you for being here. Ben. You rock and I cannot wait. I've got a whole list of questions that I'm wanting to ask you that I need to learn and I know my audience will love learning from you too. So welcome to the show.

Thank you, Amberly. Such an honor to be here with you.

Oh, yeah. I loved all you shared in our mastermind and, and you are such an incredible storyteller. And then on Clubhouse, you came into one of my rooms and after you spoke, I don't know if you know this, but I had so many people quoting what you said about how to get rid of limiting beliefs.

Oh, my goodness. No. That's amazing.

I'm not kidding you. First of all, I'd love for you to share about that, about limiting beliefs, what you do when you have those limiting beliefs, there's something that you do that helps you get out of that. Could you share that with us?

Yeah. You know, one of the things that I, that I learned early on when I was out knocking doors is that these thoughts are going to come to our brains and they are going to hit us in the head. And one Thing I learned is, like, wait a minute. Like, I don't like that thought. That is not. Like, I don't feel like that comes from me, or at least I hope it doesn't. Or if it does, I don't want it to. And so I developed this little mantra, and it is so simple, but it has been really powerful. And in fact, if I. I'll have to show you sometime if I can find it while I'm. While I'm talking. But my kids. So I've taught this to my kids, and it's been such a simple little tool. I want to offer it to you. To you right now, those that are watching. And thank you, Amberly, for bringing that up. So it's these four words. I reject that thought. And so I learned that, like, when I started having a thought that I'm like, wait a minute. I'm like, no, no. Like, no. Oh, I reject that thought. And so I started. We started. I told my kids. I was like, if you have this thought. And we talked about this recently with them, it's like, if you have this thought that doesn't serve you, like, you are not your thoughts, and you have the power, your brain and your heart and your mind, you have the power to reject thoughts that don't serve you. So you want to say it with emotion. If somebody. If you have this bad thought, maybe you're like, oh, that person's so lame over there. You were like, wait a minute. I reject that thought. And it gives us power to just get rid of those thoughts that we don't want, that don't serve us, and that don't serve those around us.

Yeah. Well, after you said that, I've had people say, you know, your friend Ben said, I reject that thought. And so. So many people have been doing that. I love that you share that. And you know what? You are such a good dad. I love seeing your post on Instagram and. And your YouTube videos. Holy cow. You've been every week delivering some incredible message about leadership and sales on YouTube. And your YouTube channel is really growing, which I think is hard to do because I've had a YouTube channel for a while, and it's a little bit harder to gain that traction, but you offer such value that people are just, like, eating it up. And so I would love to ask you, how did you get into leadership and sales? Can you take us through that journey a little bit on how you became the expert in leadership and sales? Because I think that we could all learn to, you know, learn how to be A better leader.

Yeah. You know, the thing is everybody in the front of the line started in the back of the line. Like in life, right? If you see somebody up in the front, you're like, oh, they're so much farther ahead of me. And I always think anytime I'm like, at like Disneyland, even though it's been a year since it's been open, but at Disneyland you get in the back of the line and you're like, I remember. I think often I'm like, oh, I can't wait till I get around this bend. That means I'm almost there. And the reality is that person who's almost there in line at Disneyland started in the very back of the line. And so the same thing is true for any of us is that we may be looking at somebody being like, oh, they're so much farther ahead of me in my work and my business. The reality is gotta start somewhere. For me, I started very in a really pretty tough place where I just was not making it financially and I had to make a change. There are all of the thoughts of like, why you shouldn't start. That happen. In fact, I found this little video. Can I share this with you? It is a three second. It has to do with what you introduced about rejecting thoughts. And this is from my. Let's see if this will play. If you can hear this.

I heard it.

Yes. Oh, yeah.

Oh my gosh. That's your family.

Yeah, there they are. I taught my kids this where we'd sit around and we try to every night have just like a little bit of time. And one of the messages was like, how do you. Like just the question you just asked, like, how do you go from just being who you are insecure to overcoming all the opposition and whatever it is. Maybe you have a math test that's coming up and you are like, ah. Like I know for me in school there was all the anxiety, like, maybe I'm going to feel this. Maybe you don't know the future. And like, how do you succeed in life? And not to go back too much, but just to finish that like this. The power of allowing your mind to be like, no, like I reject that thought. I had my little girl. And this all plays into what it took for me to go from being the very worst, almost fired from a straight commission job to becoming the top of my industry and being quoted in Forbes and Inc. And entrepreneur and different things. But these kids right here, my little girl, Emory, she is six years old. She came to me the day after we did this. And she said, dad, I was having a test and I kept thinking, I am going to fail it and I am going to fail it. And she is like, wait a minute. And during her test she is like, wait a minute. And she is like, I reject that thought. And then she went in and she like passed her test and she came home, was like, dad. And she told me, told our family. She's like, I rejected the thought and I passed my test. It was awesome. And I just.

Thoughts are powerful. And I feel like, man, so many times I've got that inner critic that wants to really just beat me up. And it's like, that is a powerful thing to just stop those limiting beliefs right away in that inner critic in a powerful way. Just to say, I reject, I reject that thought. Like, that is not. And I like how you say it's not who we are. They're just a thought and we can really change things. And so for your daughter to have you as an example and for her to see the power in just how she can shift her thinking like that is amazing. As a leader, you're a leader for your family, you're a leader in your industry. And I love that you share that. You know, we all start somewhere, but it is. How do you go from, you know, just starting out and kind of in certain, in uncertain times, or maybe you're new and there's a lot of people right now that have changed jobs and, or they're out of work and they're trying to reinvent themselves. How do you get that self confidence to become a leader when you're just starting out?

I think my mentor, Brian Tracy said it best. About 15 years ago I asked him that question which is like, brian, how do we break through? You've done it, you have broken through. How do I. And I remember I was dropping him off, he came to speak at one of our events, one of our leadership trainings. And I had the great privilege of having dinner with him and I took him back to his hotel, dropped him off up towards the front. But before he did, I looked at him. I said, brian, like you've written 80 best selling books, you've taught and spoken all over the world. I'm sure you get this question asked. But what's the one thing that if somebody is willing to apply that, if they take that action around xyz, around this thing, what is it that you found? And he looked at me in the eye, I'll never forget. And he said, ben, there's two. And I was like, I'm like getting ready to like. I'm like looking for a pen, but I didn't have one. I'm like, looking for mental, like, okay, I got to like, etch whatever he's going to say in my brain. And he said, there's two. He said the first thing, he said, you know, for you to get to where you want to go if you want to ensure success. He said, the first thing is continuously learn. And I mean, that's like, that's not rocket science formula. Like, and I was just like, I'm like listening, but here's this cool, great mentor. And it brought like this added emphasis to this to me and my brain. And somehow, like my parents were telling me all the time, oh, you always learn, you know, but like, somehow coming from my mentor that like, this is one of, like the things, I don't know how to describe it, but it just like connected the synapses in my brain and it was just like, oh, if I want to become good at something, whatever that thing is, commit to take action, to learn day upon day, compound upon compound, learn continuously in that thing. And you can't not end up succeeding when you commit to continuous learning.

Yeah, and I think that goes for anything you do. I mean, you know, I've been in the fitness industry for, gosh, almost 20, 25 years. And back when I was training clients all the time, just, that's all I did, was just train clients. I continued, you had to get a certain amount of CEUs to keep your certification. And there are a lot of trainers that didn't do that. They didn't go to the conferences, they didn't take study and take exams and they just didn't keep up their certification. For me, I wanted to continue to learn. And I would always come back to the gym with brand new pieces of equipment. I remember I was the first trainer to walk into the gym with a kettlebell and people were looking at me like, what the hell is that? And I was doing kettlebell swings and stuff. But I wanted to be like, sharp and learning and on like, what is the latest and the greatest thing that I can learn? Because it keeps you fresh and it keeps you from getting bored too, doing the same old thing. And if you're getting bored, can you imagine what your clients experiencing? So I wanted to continue learning so I could also keep my clients continue learning. And it's always, you know, we, I think, are more passionate, we're more curious, we're, you know, when we're continuing to learn. So I love that he said, continue learning. And I think that's important. No matter what you do, whether you're a stay at home mom or you have a business, or you're a trainer or you're a speaker or you're an whatever it is that you do, I think that's so important. So that's it. Number one is learning and what else?

Yeah, I love that, Amberly. And yeah. And so the other thing he said was, don't quit. And he went on to just share a little insight that I'll just. I'm so grateful for. And he just said, you know, here's the thing. If you continuously learn and you're committed to that and you don't quit, you put those two things together and you know you're gonna have to pivot in your life. There's gonna be things that you're gonna need to pivot on, and that's okay. But if you commit to not quit, like, make sure he said this to me. He's like, make sure that your ladder. And he says this in his books and stuff. He's like, make sure your ladder is leaning on a strong wall with a good foundation and just keep climbing that ladder. Don't quit when you want to and keep moving towards your dreams. Again, pivot as you need to. Maybe one door closes for you. Maybe a company you're working with goes out of business. Maybe whatever you can't anticipate in the future. But if you just keep learning and don't quit, that right there will ensure that you make it up towards the top of whatever it is that you're pursuing.

Wow. Now, tell me a little bit about Brian Tracy. How did you meet him? Because he's, like you said, written so many books. How did you meet him? And start mentoring with Brian?

So he's been training sales leaders for decades. I got very lucky to work in a company where they brought Brian Tracy in, and I happen to be the number one, the sales leader at that company called Firstline Security. And I was just a punk, young, early 20s, and I did door to door sales and I did that for five years. And I built. I built a region and I became a VP of a regional area in America and I was the top earner. And so I got the great fortune of connecting with Brian in a really unique way. And then we also. So I took him out to dinner with the owners of the company and got to drive him home afterwards. And then Brian, he came to one of our mastermind events that we had with a really small group of people. I have a little picture I can show you, but I have to find it. But it is with Brian, me and Brian, and maybe 10 or 15 other of the top people. And so I had that early introduction with him. And in fact, that's where the idea for my book actually was planted that day at a mastermind group in Oakley, Utah. We rented out a cabin and he came and spoke with us and he shared with us. He said being good at sales and being good at leadership, being good at personally selling and being good at helping other people to sell are two totally different skill sets. And when he said that, I was just like, yeah, that's true. I've seen that for myself as my personal self. Learning to sell, getting better at sales, and then transitioning into helping other people was like a real struggle. And I also saw that was true for the people that I was leading. As I was growing, I would hire leaders and managers to run teams. And I found it was a big struggle. And so from that time Till now, like 15 years later, from that time, he planted that seed. I've spent my career helping and working with and finding solutions to help people that are highly skilled professionally themselves help them make that transition into leadership. And that is why we asked Brian to write.

I saw that.

Yeah.

Okay, well, I want to go back to the basics.

Yeah.

What first, before you can, you know, be great and a leader and leading teams to be great sales. And how does someone start to be good in sales if they're just starting? What do you think makes them a great salesperson? Do you even like that word salesperson? I don't know. A lot of people don't like, oh, they're selling me something. You know what I mean? So what makes someone great at sales?

You know, there was a time, I mean, so like the used car salesman gives sales a bad reputation.

Yeah, yeah.

And even like pushy door to door salespeople give sales a bad reputation. And what changed my mindset with sales was a true understanding of even what the word sales actually means. And this blew my mind when I learned this, which is the word sale actually comes from the old English word salan. And so S E L L A N. It's an old English.

You saw that in your book?

Yeah, yeah. And so the word salan actually directly translate means to give. And so it is like the question. Yeah, the question becomes, what is the focus of the give? Is the focus on yourself? Is the focus to give yourself? Like, whatever it is that you. Is it the commission? Like, are we walking around with commission breath, right? Or is the focus of the give. This is what differentiates a salesperson, like a sleazy, slimy salesperson to a professional. Like a real salesperson connects people with things that are valuable to them and helps them to be able to move forward with more value in their life. And so the focus of the give, if we focus on ourselves, I mean that, that's what gives sales a bad reputation. But if our focus is to give so salam to give them what they need, what they want, what they're looking for, and to help people get what they want, if that's the focus, sales becomes one of the most amazing and like beautiful and fulfilling opportunities to help people like meet needs in their life that will make their lives better.

Yeah, you know what, that makes so much sense. And in fact, just, I mean, just recently because like for my fitness business, I never really had to sell. I really just had clients from, you know, word of mouth, from walking in the gym and seeing me working and then they would come up and ask me to train them. So I never really felt like I had to like sell packages of training sessions or anything like that. So I never really thought of myself as a salesperson. So just recently I'm about to launch, haven't even launched it yet, but the my Mastermind, which I've been working on for a long time, a long time. And as you know, I mean, got certified through the Mastermind Association. I've got my paddles, I'm ready to go. I've got my 45 page workbook that comes along with it. And something really shifted in me with the selling because I thought of it as in the people that are a right fit for it. They're just like, I haven't even launched it and they're coming in and I'm looking at it. Oh my gosh, this is going to be such a perfect fit for you because I have all these things that are going to help this person become that motivational speaker that they want to be or that author that they want to be through all these experiences and other speakers that are coming into the Mastermind. And something shifted and I didn't feel like I'm selling them like this big package or this big thing. I looked at it as, oh my gosh, I have so much to give this person and it is going to help them, it is going to empower them, it is going to connect them with the people that they need to be connected with. And it just really shifted in me. So everything that you Shared makes so much sense. And what a difference when you are looking at it from a perspective of what you're giving versus what you're getting. I think that does make the difference in what makes someone a sleazy salesperson and what it feels sleazy, or if it's really they're genuinely trying to, you know, they've got something to offer that person. So I love that it makes such sense. So. But how do you. Let's say we've got somebody that they have a coaching practice and they are trying to transition and sell coaching online, they're selling a course and they're getting on a call with someone and they really want to be great at their job. What is one thing that you could give me right now or give the listener right now something that they should do so they don't come across as that sleazy salesperson. What's one thing that they can do when they're like, want to sell this big coaching, online coaching? What would they say?

Yeah, I would say the first thing you have to ask yourself, do you feel like this coaching would and will add value to that person? And do you feel like. If you feel like you have to ask yourself, would I be doing a disservice to. To them if they didn't know about this? And if you believe in it, to where, like, no, this actually really can help them. You've got to, like, dig deep and just be like, no, this is going to help them. My job is to serve them in a way that communicates with them what it is that I'm doing and not to force them. My job is not to, like, put them into a corner and, like, use tactics to close them. That's not my job. And so my job, if you go into this right now, today for this coaching program, you're like, okay, would I be doing a disservice if they didn't have this? Like. And the flip side is, by having what I offer, will they become better at their trade? And if the answer is yes, they actually will, then you are doing them a disservice by shying away and being like, I don't want to sell you. And we have that responsibility to provide them, present them with how we can help them in a way that is not manipulative, in a way that honors them just by asking them just specific questions, not manipulative, leading questions, but just being there to show them the opportunity, allow them a chance, the best chance to feel your enthusiasm for the value and benefits that this can Provide to them. And if you're not willing to do that, you got to look at yourself and be like, man, you got to let your light shine so that other people can benefit from that. And if you're.

If you're like, yeah, well, it sounds like, you know, first of all, you really have to believe in yourself and the product that you're offering, and you really have to be thinking of the other person. It's not about you. It's about who you serve and how you can help them. So I think that it's really. You really have to ask yourself those tough questions, like, is this something that'll benefit them? Do you have something good to offer?

You know, absolutely.

Yeah. Well, in the book you have written about, you have four laws of leadership. Can you share what the four laws of leadership are?

Yeah. So these four laws, actually, even before I tell you this first one, let me give the framework for these four laws. And I don't mean to leave you on a cliff. I'll come to that. Cliff. So the framework for these four laws is it's not enough for you as the leader. So now we've transitioned into leadership, so it's not enough for you as a leader to, like, feel these four things or believe these four things. The framework for how these laws work, where they actually really propel your ability to influence and lead somebody, is they have to know. They have to know these four things, and they have to know that you have their best interest at heart. That's the first one. And so it's not enough to be like, oh, yeah, I'm a leader and I lead this person. I have their best interest at heart. The real key for maximum influence with other people is when they believe, when they know that you have their best interest at heart. Which is an interesting bridge to cross, because most leaders will believe, like, yeah, I've got their best interest. But a lot of times when we've interviewed people that leaders are leading, oftentimes it. There's a disconnect where the people themselves, like, no, actually, I don't really feel like they have my best interest at heart. And there's been major breakthroughs of, like, what the leader being, like, what? Of course I do, but it's just like, well, I don't feel it from you. And so the first law of leadership is to create maximum impact and influence in the lives of the people that you lead. If they believe that you genuinely care about them and have their best interest at heart, that is the first step that almost transcends Any failure as a leader, any shortcoming, or any inadequacies that we as leaders have. If the people we lead genuinely see and believe and feel and know that their leader has their best interest at heart, that right there is one of the most valuable keys to successful leadership. That's the first. The first law.

Oh, I love that. And so much of it is about trust and respect, and so I love that. What's the second one?

The second one, it goes exactly what you just brought up. They have to believe that you trust them, and they have to know that you trust them. There has to be this awareness and realness. They have to know that you trust them. This is a hardcore law. This is. I mean, out of the four laws, I mean, Emily, have you ever been led by somebody that you felt did not trust you?

No, but that's got to be an awful feeling. I can't think of that off the top of my head. But, you know, it's interesting you say this, because Madison, who works alongside me, I have really given her a lot of opportunities to know, to show her that I trust her. And from the very beginning, when you hand over your passwords, all of your passwords, you're like, okay, here we go. You can access everything I've given her, you know, and that's. That's passwords to, you know, she's got my credit card, she's got my email, she's got my social media accounts. Like, she's the only other person that has any of that stuff. So just starting that relationship and that trust, it's like, it's so important. But I think it's also when you start giving people more and more and more, holding them as capable, I think is powerful because. And that goes with, you know, holding our children capable, saying, you got this. I trust in you. I know you can get this job done. Or, you know, or whether you're talking to somebody on your team, allowing them the opportunity to show you that they are capable and they are trustworthy, and building that along the way is very important. So it's not always easy. You know, it's a little scary at first because there have been times where, you know, I've had things not go so great, not with the team that I have now, but in the past, it's a learning experience. In fact, I just had someone ask me yesterday, they were like, how do you create your team? How do you build your team? And so much of that goes into taking chances, putting out good, and being good to people. I think when you're good to people, people are good to you. But it's so much about trust as well. And it's a lot of lessons learned along the way because it's taken me a long time to finally have a great team.

Well, that's amazing. And the gift that you've given to Madison, where she knows that you trust her, that is such a powerful gift that we can give as leaders to the people we lead. Now, here's one quick tip on if you don't. For those listening. It's amazing. Amberly, I love that you're such an incredible integrity human being that, like, when you're like, you know what? Honestly, like, I don't really know anybody that's led me that doesn't trust me. And because you've earned that, you've created that. But the reality, there's some people, you

know what that is like, top for me is integrity. And I don't know, growing up in Texas, that's one thing that I didn't really know any different growing up in Texas. But in Texas, if you said you were going to do something, you did it. Your word was powerful. You did deals on a handshake and with. You said you were going to show up or you were going to be there, you were there. And that's very, very important to me. If I say I'm going to do something. And I think a lot of times people are surprised by that. I didn't even know what the word flaky was until I moved to California. People in California are going to hate me for that. But, you know, I've been out here a long, long time. But it's so important to have that integrity. It really is. That trust. Without that, I don't know if I can have a relationship without that trust. That's really, really important. And then back to Madison again. I've told her, I trust you to make that decision. You assess the situation, and I trust that you have my best interest. So I completely, you know, and so she even vets people for the podcast. People are like, oh, I want to be on your podcast. I'm like, oh, got to talk to Madison about that. So you know what I mean? She's. But sorry, I had to jump in.

I love that.

But integrity is like, it's huge. It's like, I think that it's so important to have that. So people, they. They know what they're going to get, too. They know what to expect from you.

Definitely. This opens a big conversation. I just want to share one little

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Anybody? If you're. Thanks again for tuning in into thinking that. That I don't trust this person that I'm leading. Don't fool yourself into thinking you're going to be a highly impactful leader to them. And unless you're willing to actually dive into that and have the crucial conversations, the radical candor that if we're unwilling to have, that trust will continue to corrode. And we're intuitive. We can tell when somebody doesn't trust us. So trust me, if somebody that you lead, if you don't trust somebody that you lead, trust me, that person, your ability to bring out their very best, just your ability to influence them goes to the floor. And this is a big conversation. I would love to have it, but I want to share. So that's why I introduced that. Because then the third law. The third law is one of the most powerful laws. And it's. Emily, are you cool if we jump to the third law?

Yeah. Yeah, I want to hear this. Yeah. So first they want to know. You know, it's like, it's important to know that they really have your best interest. Then the trust. And number three is they have to

know and they have to believe the people that you lead. They have to know that you have confidence in them. And let me illustrate this. It's a really simple law, but let me illustrate this with a story. I remember when I was in high school and I had a leader of my church. And man, every time I was around him, his name was Doug Johnson. He just made me feel like. He made me feel like I mattered. I felt like he saw me. And one time I was walking on the hall and on the other corner of the hall, I started hearing a couple voices. And I couldn't see who it was because there was like a corner and I'm walking this way and there's some people over on the other side. And I heard my name and I heard that Ben Ward. And I froze. I was like, that Ben Ward. That Ben Ward. And I was like, all ears. I was like, whoa, somebody just said my name. And what are they going to Say, and I heard the voice. I didn't know who it was. I heard this voice telling another human being that Ben Ward I would invest in stock.

Wow.

And Ben Ward. And I was just like, what?

Like, wow.

Yeah. And I just let that sit for a minute. And I'm just a punk teenage kid trying to figure out who I was. And, like. And I found out as I kept listening that it was Doug Johnson. And here's the thing about Doug, is that he was a leader for me. And I knew that he had confidence in me. And so what happened was when he was in my presence, I became the best version of myself. And in fact, when he showed up to my baseball games, like, here's honest, this is embarrassing to admit. Like, I wasn't very good at baseball, but in my mind, I was. In my heart, I was. I was all, I'm going to be a pro baseball player. And I didn't even know. But really soon after this, I was about to be cut from my high school baseball team. But here is the magic. When Doug Johnson showed up to my baseball games, he believed in me. He had confidence in me. I knew that he had confidence in me. So when he showed up, I hit better. I like. I made less errors in his presence in baseball because he had confidence. He gave me that gift. It is like what Gertrude, the ancient philosopher, says. He says, if you treat a man as he is, he will stay as he is. But if you treat him as if he were what he could and ought to be, he'll become what he could and ought to become. And so, in Doug Johnson's presence, because I knew that he had confidence in me in his presence, I rose up to the level of belief that he had in me.

That's amazing. I mean, it takes me back to my days of dancing, and we had Mr. Kirby come in, and every time he came in the classroom, he made me feel like I was special, like I was the gifted one that I. And so every time he came to teach a class or, you know, he came. He lived in la, and he would come to our little studio in this small town in Texas. I felt like I wanted to work harder and try harder and go full out. So it does make a huge difference when we feel like somebody has that confidence in us. So it's one of the most believing in us, you know? And I think until we can believe in ourselves sometimes, because I know there have been times when I was like, oof, I don't know if I can do this. And I've had People go, of course you can. You got this. And it makes such a difference. Well, what's the fourth one?

Yeah, so the fourth one, they have to know, and they have to believe that you'd take a bullet for them. A figurative bullet. Right? Like, are we willing to step up as a leader and, like, allow them to save face? Are we willing to jump in and take a bullet? Let me give you one quick story to illustrate this. I remember I went undercover in one of our warehouses about five years ago to see how the team culture was doing. And we had a big company with 2,300 employees. It was a large fashion clothing company, and I was responsible for leadership and culture in the organization, and I love that.

And that's actually one of the questions I was going to ask you is just about the culture of the company and how you create a better culture. But I love that you went undercover. How fun.

Yeah, it was so fun. I'll pull this picture to show you while I share this, because I'll get it here in a second. So I went in, and I had this trainer. His name was T. Literally, like, the letter T. And he was one of the best, and I'd never met him. And they set me up with, like, one of the best trainers. And so I was with him for an hour, and he was zipping around, and we had, like, the pallet jacks, and we're going. And an hour into it, I'm already, like, hot and, like, sweaty and going. And he gave me the pallet jack. He's like, all right, your turn. Ready? And so like, about 10 minutes into me holding this pallet jack, we're zipping around the warehouse.

So what was it? A power jack. What was he?

Oh, it was for clothes. Like a pallet jack.

Oh. I was like, what was it?

Yeah.

Okay.

And so I had this pallet jack.

Those of us that aren't in the clothing industry are like, pallet jack? What the heck is that?

So we're cruising around, and I go and I slam with the pallet jack. As we're turning a corner, I slam into one of the pallets, and it shattered, and it made, like, the loudest noise, and it just shattered. Like, all the clothes that were in that just kind of came falling out, and I'm, like, demoralized. What in the world did I just do? And, like, I just slammed it. And 20 people from the warehouse coming out, like, what happened? And what happened next was game changing. T, my trainer, jumped straight within, like, it felt like a minute, but it was like, three seconds. Because I was so embarrassed. That three seconds was like, I was traumatized. T jumped up, and he's like, to everyone who's coming out, he's like, my bad. Patted his chest. I'll never forget him patting his chest. He's like, my bad. It on me, on me. I didn't show him my bad. And he literally took a bullet. He stepped in, and that is, like,

makes me want to cry. That's so sweet.

I'll tell you what, Amberly, that.

Because a lot of times people will just throw you under the bus.

100%.

No, like, totally. That actually just happened to us this weekend. I am not kidding. So I just have to share a story. We were at a. We were at a horse show, and there, you know, there was other people were all in this little, tiny area, and people are. You know, the kids are having snacks and food and eating lunch, and there's to go containers and all this stuff. And one of the ladies walk over to us, and they were like, well, that family just said that all that trash was because of the Lago family, because of you guys. And she goes, and you know what I love is that saying of be so good or be like. So, you know, there was no way anyone would ever believe that our family would ever leave a mess like that because we're always helping out around the barn. So it was funny to see that someone else had, like, tried to throw us under the bus. But then the trainer came over later and said, yeah, I know how helpful y' all are, that you would never do that. Like, so have a reputation that no matter what anybody said, they would know there's. That if they said something bad that wasn't true, you know, Totally.

Yes. Like, your actions.

What about the culture of the team? Like, if that happens, why throw somebody under the bus? Say, oh, you know what? Here, let me help you. Let me help clean it up. There's so many different options that you could do. Like T did. He was like, oh, my bad. Let me. This is me. This is on me. I should have shown him. I should have. We should. I should have worked this out. I mean, that's a real team. And recently, I don't know if you've seen. There's a big thought leader right now, and I won't even say her name, but she has been throwing her team under the bus, like, blaming things on her team. And I think as a leader, you have to take accountability and responsibility, and you have to look at it as. Don't point your finger at somebody else, like, know what's your part in it? Like, how can you better this situation? And so I think this is a powerful, powerful quality to have, you know, is, you know, you would take a bullet for your team.

It's so true. And there's so much power when. When the people that we lead actually know and believe that their leader would take a bullet for them. The way that's so important. Yeah. The way that I felt when T did that for me, and I'm just, like, undercover. He didn't know. He didn't know who I was. He was my trainer. This was my first day. In his mind. It was my first day, and he's got my back. And what happened was, to this day, I think of T as a true leader. And in fact, here is a picture of him and me. This was three months after this instance. I came back to visit him. There he is.

Wow. Wow. Did you. So how was that? It reminds me of that. That TV show, like, Undercover Billionaire or whatever. When you came back and you're like, surprise. I'm just kind of checking out the culture. And you passed with flying colors. How did you approach that? What happened when you, like, he found out who you really were?

It was later that day. Now this picture is three months later. We built. We developed a deep relationship, but it was later that day when I just. I just. He learned. I shared with him. I gave him a big hug. I said, t, I just wanted to let you know, I came to see kind of how things are in the trenches because we talk a big culture in our company, but to just kind of see how things are going. And I share with them. I just said, t, I got emotional, like, could not be more proud and more grateful to be. To be part of this team, knowing that we have leaders like you in this team. And he was bawling. He had no idea. He just was, like, bawling, like, whoa. Like, he was so proud. He was so proud. And it was just a beautiful moment.

Oh, I love that. Well, what are some of the things? And then we'll talk about where people can find your book, because you talk about all these things in your book right here. Sellership. What are some of the things that. What's one thing that somebody could do today to just really deepen their relationship and create a thriving team culture?

You know, as a leader, if by adopting these seven words, there's. The seven most important words in leadership, I think encompass the four laws. We talked about the laws. Like, they have to know that you have Their best interest at heart. They have to know that you trust them. They have to know that you have confidence in them. And they have to know. They have to believe that you take a bullet for them. These four laws like to kind of encompass all of them. This one thing to kind of leave you with for those listening is the seven most important words. And Amberly, you said it naturally. You actually said these words in our conversation naturally, as we've been talking. And it's not about you, it's about them.

Wow.

And as leaders, as we adopt that mentality that, hey, it's not about me, it's about them and how can I serve the people that I lead? The most meaningful. Sometimes that's going to be sharp and stern, and that's leading them, that's making it about them. And oftentimes we don't want to give correction because we don't want to be the bad guy. So we don't give correction. And we make it about ourselves because we don't want to be blamed for pointing out their deficiency. So we don't give correction. But when we truly make it about them, sometimes that's soft and kind and loving. Sometimes that's firm and strong and bold. And as we really, really care about the people we lead, we'll know what is needed and how to serve them in ways that will help them to grow and develop.

Oh, I love that. Yeah. And it's so much about communication. Great communication. Like, really good communication. And sometimes it takes a while to get really clear. And I take responsibility for a lot of times, and I have to go, oh, you know what? I did not communicate that correctly. You were right. I need to be a better communicator. And so I think that's important. I just love all that you have shared. I love your book. I'm sure it was quite interesting to write a book with Greg. Read Dr. Reed because he is so intense. Intense in a good way. Before we go, how was that writing a book with Greg? I mean, he's written how many? I lost count, like, 114 books or something.

Greg is amazing and I love him.

I. He's a life changer. He is seriously a life changer. He's an incredible leader. He's one of those people that I know if I ask him something, he is always going to give me the best advice. And so, yeah, Greg needs to hear this episode.

Yeah. I learned so much from Greg. And one of the things I love specifically about Greg is he cares enough to offer very clear and even sharp, like like, correction. And it's. I mean, nobody wants to be the bad guy, you know, but, like, Greg is a true leader who knows the path and is willing to very quickly give correction. So as we were going, like, I'd kind of like, have these ideas, like, nope. And not in a. Like, what I love is that he made like the whole time, he's like, ben, this is your book. Like, I'm just here. I'm going to be your mentor, your outside eyes. I'll help you with different things. This is your book. It's your direction. But even with that, he was so gracious and kind in that, like, as we work together and then. But when I would get a little off track, he was just not afraid to, like, rein me in. And anyways, like, we just kind of talked about cares sometimes. Leaders, we care so much about our people, we don't want to tell them the truth. And Greg is a true leader that's willing to be the bad guy for the benefit of the people that he leads. And I experienced that with him. And he's just a beautiful, amazing human being.

Oh, I know he is. I love him. And because of him, I met you.

Yes.

You know, so. And that is really the power of masterminds. I think investing in a mastermind is just. Can be life changing and move the needle on your business. But more than anything, the thing I love about masterminds the most is the people and the connections and the deep connections that you make with people in the mastermind. I mean, that mastermind and going to Vegas was probably the highlight of COVID for me. I did not realize just how much we really need that human connection, like, in the flesh. Until I left Vegas, on top of the world, just getting to be around y' all in the mastermind. So, yeah, I can't wait till we get to see each other again. Are you going to secret knock?

Yes.

Yeah. Okay. Awesome. Awesome. Didn't even have to ask that, really. Right. So, yes, y' all check out his books sellership. Check out his YouTube channel. Where's the best place for people to buy your book or, you know, hire you to speak or coach with you and learn more. Ben.

Thanks, Amberlee. Yeah. Benward.com you can connect in with different resources. My YouTube channel, my. My newsletter, just for the value every week, but Benward.com is the best place.

Okay, that's awesome. And yeah, you know what? You are always providing value, whether it's through your talks on Clubhouse or your newsletter or your YouTube channel, and of course your book. So thank you so much for taking the time to drop in all these nuggets of wisdom. I appreciate you, and I'm so honored to call you my friend. So thank you so much, y'.

All.

If you found some value in this episode, make sure you take a screenshot and tag me at Amberly Lagomotivation. And tag Ben, and we'll see you next time.

Thank you so much, Amberly.