Finding Flexibility and Freedom: Life Lessons with Dana Buchman

Welcome to the Amberly Lago Show. Stories of true grit and grace. So grateful you're here to tune in to the Amberly Lago show because I have a very special guest for you today. If you are feeling stuck, if you are going through challenges, if you are unhappy in your job, and if you're ready to make more money, get your notepad and pen, because I have the guest for you who's gonna share her methodology on how she has overcome challenges and made a lot of money. Dana, welcome to the show.

Thank you so much, Amberly. I'm so happy to be here.

Well, I'm so happy to have you here. And I just wanna say Dana has been a good friend of mine for years, and she flew out to Dallas to be on, and I am forever grateful for you because right when I started in the very beginning, when I was trying to share my story and I wanted to inspire people, you really hooked me up. And you were working with big companies. I mean, you've worked with companies like Apple, Mattel, like, huge. The biggest companies out there to help them monetize and learn how to brand. I mean, huge companies. Like, and I'm just naming a couple. I know you've worked with a lot of them, and you were working with one company and they were doing a interview. Like a whole. Yeah.

Like a women's empowerment series.

Yeah.

Of events.

Yeah. And you let me be a part of that. And I will never forget, the website came up and it was like, here it is. And it was the first time ever that I posted a picture of myself on social media. And I don't think I've ever told you this, but you're the reason why I did that. And you really helped me, like, spur along that. Like, Amberly, go share your story. Go do this. And it's because of you. And doing that event, that meant the world to me, and it's led me to where I am now. And I love seeing all that you have done. And also, I didn't even know all the challenges that you have been through, that you've overcome and what has led you here today. And then I get live the life of your dreams. I get this in the mail, and I'm like, who sent me this awesome calendar? Because I'm the kind of person that I like to write everything down, pen and paper. Yeah.

There's something great about it.

I really need that. So I want to know, like, there are a lot of people out there struggling. First of all, tell us where you were and what led you to where you are now? Because people are like, why would you leave a job working for Mattel or Apple or all these things? And how did it lead you to where you are now?

Yeah, no, thank you so much. I'm so happy to be here. And you know, one of the things that I like to do is push people outside of their comfort zones and help them make the leaps that they really want to make in life. And so I was so honored to invite you into that space and to help you shine your light because you

pushed me out of my comfort zone.

And let me tell you, everybody needed to see this. Everybody needs to see this.

You did that and you do that for people. And I will just tell you real quick. I remember I had to post a picture promoting the event and I actually, it was the first picture I'd ever posted of myself. And I remember where I was. I was in daughter in bed with my daughter and I pulled the covers up over my head because I was like, oh my gosh, people are going to see my face. But we need people like you who are there to support and encourage and push out of your comfort zone. And you've done that so well.

Thank you.

But you've also completely reinvented what you do. And I know there's a lot of people that they want to be able to do that. Where should they start?

Yeah. So like you said, I spent 20 years in corporate America working internationally. I worked at Apple and Disney, Mattel and Activision, and I loved it. So I was in marketing and product management, program management innovations like basically helping these companies make billions of dollars. And there were parts of it that I loved and also there were parts of it that burnt me out. And I think a lot of us have been to those places where we push and push and push and you hit a wall. And so that happened to me. I was.

So were you burnout?

Yeah. So I like, I loved my job, I loved my team, but I was working. I was a chief marketing officer of a luxury day spa brand in California with 11 locations, $100 million brand.

I remember when you were that. That brand.

Yeah. And so we went through the pandemic. So lux, service based, discretionary income kind of product in the middle of a pandemic, when you can't see people, you can't touch them, you can't be next to them. And so it was my job to maintain that brand and to save 1500 people's jobs and to continue making money throughout the pandemic. And you know what? We did It. So we pivoted to spot home kits. We sent people like packages where they could, like, have the senses and the smells as if they were in the spa.

So you came up with that?

Yeah, taught people how to make steam rooms in their shower and all different kinds of things. And we were able to maintain 70% of our members. We came back, like, better than ever. Demand was high and we saved the company. And so it was like, it was really incredible, but also, like, I needed

a break while you were working your butt off.

Yeah.

I remember talking with you when I first you came to ask me to speak to this one company and how much you did for them. And then I also remember when you were working with this other company that's huge and coming and talking to me about things, about that. So I can imagine with all that you were doing, how it would be easy to get burnt out. And I know there are a lot of people that are burnt out right now.

Totally. And, you know, and it's like, you know, sometimes we don't. We don't listen to the whispers.

Right.

And so we don't see the signs and the writing on the wall. But I knew I needed a break, and so I took one and I went on vacation. And normally I would go to Australia because, like, Australia is like a home away from home for me. And the borders were closed, so I couldn't go to Australia. So I had to find another place to go. And I was craving, you know, sunshine and beaches. And so I ended up in Turks and Caicos, and. And I ended up there because it reminded me the most of Australia, just like the crystal clear water and the white sand beaches. And I got there and on day two, I had this big realization that it was like, I feel like I'm doing life wrong. I have set all these goals. I've been at these amazing companies. I got to the C suite. I wasn't really making what I should have been. I was underpaid. But still, it was great. And, you know, like, I loved what I did. I loved my teams. But, like, I got here and I was like, I saw these people in Turks really living their lives and living their joy. And the joy just, like, radiated from inside through their faces and their faces.

Are you serious?

Oh, my God. Like, the most beautiful smiles you've ever seen in your whole entire life. And I was like, something's wrong. Like, I keep achieving and I keep getting to the next level, and I keep making all this money and I keep making the money for the companies and all These different things, but, like, I'm not living the life that I want to be living.

Yeah.

And so I had this realization. Then what I did? What did I do? I went back to my normal life. Speaking because it was easy and it was safe and it was enough. Right. And then my whole life fell apart. Months later, I had a very devastating and traumatic miscarriage that was excruciatingly painful in every way. Five weeks after.

I'm so sorry. And I didn't know that. I didn't know that. I didn't know that.

Yeah.

And I'm so sorry. I just, I. We had lost contact between that time and I am so sorry. I didn't know that. Thank you.

Yeah, it was. It was rough. And then five weeks later, I unexpectedly lost my job. So in the midst of grieving for this baby that I wanted, then I lost my career that I loved and my team that I loved. And, you know, it was such a big part of my life because I'm very, as, you know, very passionate about what I do.

Yeah.

And then months after that, I was diagnosed with a very severe heart condition. And they told me to sit still, to stop working out. And you know me like, I'm a dancer and I'm a hiker. And I was like, what do you mean I can't move? And they were just like, just wait. We have to run more tests. And if this symptom happens for 20 seconds, you have to go straight to the emergency room in an ambulance. You're not allowed to drive yourself because we might have to shock you back to life. Oh. And I was like, what is happening, you know, like, your whole life. My whole life, personally, professionally, like, you know, I lost a baby, I lost my job, and you're telling me I might lose my life? I'm 39 years old. Like, it was such an eye opening experience and I just felt like everything had flatlined. And from there I was like, okay, you know how. And I know your story, and I know how much you've been through and how much trauma and hardship you've been through. And you know how when you're going through it, things get really clear about what's most important. And I was like, I am going to rebuild my life in the way that I should have built it from the beginning. I am going to rebuild my life in the way that I want to be living it. I don't want to be in someone else's movie script. I don't want to be just achieving and getting to the next level and Getting the next thing. But, like, I want to live for me.

Yeah.

And so I. Within a year after all that happened, I decided to move to Turks and Caicos, which is where I live now. I.

Which is wild.

Amazing.

Which is wild to me.

Beautiful, yet incredible and amazing. So I moved to Turks and Caicos. I started this business. I ended a relationship that wasn't serving me, and I'm living the life of my dreams, truly.

And I am just blown away. And there are so many people that are on autopilot that are. They go, oh, my God, what am I doing? What is the point of this? And by the way, when you said you saw the joy in people's eyes, I'm writing my next book. It's called Joy through the Journey.

I didn't know this.

Yeah. My next book is called Joy through the Journey, and it was actually a friend of mine. His name is John Gordon, who. He's written 30 books. He's amazing. He was one of the speakers at my event. He is amazing. And he. I think it was after our conversation. I think it was after I talked to him. Maybe it was the podcast interview I did for his show. He was like, amberly, I'm really good at coming up with names for books. And your next book is Joy through the Journey because you talk a lot about joy, and I think that that joy is a lot of what people are missing.

It's so true. It's so true. And you're right. Like, we go on autopilot, and, you know, we're setting these goals and we're achieving them, and we're getting there. And we're like, wait, this isn't what I wanted.

Yeah, but what the heck is this? What's going on?

Right? This was supposed to look different. It was supposed to feel different when I got there. And so, you know, from that place of devastation, first of all, I hung onto my joy.

So I. How'd you do that?

Really getting clear about making a list, like, making. Forcing myself to sit down and make a list of all the things that bring me joy, from, like, a tiny little, like, smirk of a smile all the way through to, like, deep, soulful joy. And it's like, the simplest things I love.

Okay. How does. How does somebody go about doing that when they're like, I want more joy in my life? Because I know we're getting to. You've got some. A methodology that's going to help people make money and all that. We'll make sure we include that in the show notes. But for somebody that's going, dang it, man. I'm struggling. It's hard. I'm in pain every day. How do I work on building my joy? What would you say?

Joy feels so far away in that moment. Right. Like, it feels completely inaccessible. It feels like it's impossible. But really, it's about. I know you're big on gratitude practices, and I love gratitude, but also, like, there's. And I'm so glad that you're leaning into joy as well, because it's like, you can be. You can be super grateful and also really sad, you know, and you can be. But you can be sad and joyful at the same time, and you can hold those two things simultaneously. And I think the first one of the first steps is to not judge your joy when you're in that space, to actually acknowledge it and to say, you know what? That made that brighten my day, and it's okay that I'm in a space of grieving and I'm in a space of healing, and I just made the most beautiful cup of coffee that I've ever had in my whole entire life, and it just brought a smile to my face or this person called me, or there's a flower or I see a color or the sky is blue today or whatever. That. And like, those things that just light you up and knowing yourself, really, really knowing yourself and paying attention as you go through life of saying, you know what? It's the who, what, when, and where, who are the people that bring me joy that I always feel like myself around, and that can always, like, lift my spirits.

Like you.

Like you.

Like you. Seriously, like you.

You know, what are the things that I can bring into my life? Whether it's coffee or the ocean or the ocean might be aware that might be a place and when might be a time of year, a season or a time of day or. Right. And so it's like, it's about understanding what all of those anchors are that you can anchor back into your joy and really noticing them. And the thing is just like gratitude, the more you notice the things that bring you joy, the more those things build and the more you see. See that in your life, and then if you can combine them. For me, it's like, you know, sunshine and ocean and people that I love. And if I can combine those three things, like, I am just happy dancing, also moving my body.

Yeah.

But knowing those things about you, yourself, and. And I. But I think a big thing is when you're in a grieving space and it feels like Impossible joy feels like a million miles away. To really just allow yourself to have small moments of happiness and joy that you can grab onto and then you can build from.

Oh, that is so beautiful. Well, I want to talk about your methodology. About. Could you take us a little bit and I know we'll put the link in the show notes for people to grab it and you've even offered an amazing, like, discount to the Amberly Lago show listeners. But can you walk us through some of that methodology?

Definitely. So this methodology was really born from all of my experience. So I pulled from human interface design at Apple and creative brainstorming at Mattel, and when I was at Disney, I learned software development methodologies. And so I took pieces from all of this and I created a system for goal setting.

Yeah.

And so it's called Creative Life Design. And the reason why I created this system was that I found that.

And I should just put this here. Oh, yeah, let me just put this here.

Yes, I found that hopefully it won't fall over. There are essentially, you know, in the goal setting kind of spaces, I feel like there are kind of two extremes that are out there. There's one side that's really rigid and corporate, and it's okrs and it's smart goals, and it's specific and action. You set the goal and then you break it down, you go after it, right? And then on the opposite side there is, you know, the spirituality side and esoteric, and it's all about manifesting. And, you know, you're practicing, like, the art of detachment. It's beautiful. Like, you know, imagine your. Your dream and your goal, like floating away on a cloud. And like, I love it. But like, now what do I do? Right? So it's like, I did that. Yay. But like, how do I actually move forward and achieve what I want to achieve? And so I created this system where you go through reflections, you look at your highlights and happiness, you look at things that were challenging and low lights, you uncover patterns, and then you set a different kind of of goal. And this system is really flexible. It's like a fluid structure. So I used to do martial arts, and one of my favorite quotes is that the bamboo that bends is stronger than the oak that resists. And so if you have a really rigid structure of your goal setting, smart goals are great. And they work for some people in certain circumstances, but sometimes they're too rigid and so. And they don't allow for the unpredictability in life. And so, so often I would write these smart Goals. And it's if I didn't achieve it in exactly the way that I said I was going to, when I said I was going to all of that kind of thing, then I would just use it as a tool to beat myself up and tell me that I failed, to tell myself that I failed. Right. And so it's like I was like, there has to be a better way. There has to be a flexible approach to this. And so really, my methodology has kind of three unique points to it. I mean, first of all, it works. So there's that, which is great. So I used it.

And I'm just, I'm just laughing here because I have all these notes of all the things I was going to ask you. Where does it sit?

Where does it flow in?

I'm so intrigued with everything that you're saying. I haven't even looked at my notes of the stuff I was going to ask you. I mean, this is so. This is so good.

It's so great. And so it works. So I've had people that this woman was trying to lose weight for years and within six weeks doing my program, working with me, she lost 25 pounds. And most importantly, she stopped all the negative self talk and the shame spirals.

That's huge. Because so much of it is whether, you know, somebody's trying to lose weight or trying to make more money. Yeah.

Start a business.

Trying to start their business or get ahead in their career or level up their business. I think it starts with mindset. And you need to have. It's not one thing to do, it's a whole thing. Mind, body, spirit, to create, have the

right tools to help you. And so really this, it's looking at your whole self. So often we look at personal goals different than we do professional goals. Like those are almost two different parts of, of life. Right. Like in the personal space, you set, do vision boards and you know, that kind of thing. And then in the professional space, you're like setting like sales targets and all of that. And really it's about looking at that together because it's your whole life. Right. And so really looking at setting goals from a perspective. And I have a dream goal framework that I'll tell you about, which is, you know, kind of a different option for you to set goals than the smart goal framework, but it's really about blending that together. Looking at seasonality, you have more energy, your body has more energy. When it's summer, when we have more daylight hours than it does in the winter, if you are grieving something if you have something going on in your personal life, you're going to show up to your professional life differently. And so this system is allowing for all of that, so having that freedom and flexibility and then also looking at the essence of your goals. So this is really important when you're setting your goals. Think about what you want, right? Like, dream big. Allow yourself to dream.

Right?

So I find a lot of times people get caught up. First of all, we don't really want to look at what is. What's going on in our life, what's working, what's not. It can be kind of scary to admit that to ourselves. But once you do that, then a lot of times we don't allow ourselves to dream big. So allowing ourselves to really, like, shoot for the, you know, swing for the fences, like, dream as big as you can. And then I help you break that down into seasons and phases so you can really start working toward it. But it's about the essence of the goal rather than the goal itself. So this is what I was saying is really important, which is that this is so good. It's so, so important. It's so good.

You're saying the essence of the goal, and this is my whole book, is the joy through the journey.

Yes.

It's so

hard. We're just in the same space, Amberly. We're just singing from the same song. Because let's say you want to make a billion dollars. And I'm like, yes, I am right here with you. You're gonna make a billion dollars, and that's gonna be amazing. But let's talk about why you wanna make the billion dollars. What is it about having a billion dollars that's meaningful to you and asking yourself those questions, getting curious, asking why five times. Okay, so I wanna make a billion dollars. Why? Because I wanna be rich. Why? Well, rich people exist in these spaces and they do these kinds of things. What is it about that that's enticing and interesting to you? Why is that important? And you get to something that's at the heart of the goal, that's really more about probably freedom and flexibility and lifestyle than you think.

And that's about we all really want more than anything.

More than anything.

It's freedom. It's freedom.

It's freedom. And so. But if you're chasing the billion dollar goal in the smart, measurable, actionable kind of framework, right? Like, that's the. That's that framework. It's like, I'm going to reach a billion dollars by this period of time if that's what you're chasing. You might end up taking the wrong path to get there, finding yourself. You have a billion dollars, but you lost everything else. You lost your relationships, you lost your family. You don't have the freedom and flexibility because now you're attached to the thing that made you the billion dollars. And so the thing that you really wanted was freedom and flexibility. The thing you thought you wanted was the billion dollars. And there might be a different way to achieve that, or you might make the billion dollars. But if you're still staying connected to the freedom and flexibility, then you're going to make the billion dollars and hold on to that freedom and flexibility all along the way. And so when you're looking at the freedom and flexibility as the thing that you're wanting, write down that you want a billion dollars. Absolutely. Go toward that. Make sure that all along the way, you're chasing freedom and flexibility, and not just chasing it, but bringing that into your life today.

I like to say catching it. I don't even like to say chase. I say make sure you're catching it. Let's just catch it.

Yeah. And bring it into your life today. So if I'm thinking about freedom and flexibility from a gratitude perspective, I can look at all the ways that I already have freedom and flexibility in my life.

Yeah.

As a weird example, like, my car broke down and I didn't have a car for a while. And I was like, you know, I'm looking for abundance and freedom, flexibility and. Right. Like all these things that all of us are searching for. And I get my car back. And I was instantly, I was like, freedom. This is my car is freedom. Because I'm not locked in my house. I'm not waiting for other people. And so seeing and admitting and seeing where all of those freedom and flexibility things are coming into your life already, and then bringing more in while you're working toward chasing whatever it is and catching whatever it is that you're working toward. And so by keeping the essence of that goal at the center and at the heart of it, you really see stay connected all along the way toward your goal. So you're not just waiting until you get there to have that thing, you're bringing it into your life today.

I love that. And that's one reason, like, when I got my car and I have a Tesla, which I've never been a car person, I've always been a truck person. But my daughter sold me on the freedom part of it. And how she sold me on it was she kept sending me These videos and writing up all this stuff on this is going to help you go to point A, to point B. You can put it in self driving and you have the freedom because you don't have to use your foot to push the pedal. You've got, you know, so.

Yes, Yeah, I think that's. You get it?

Yeah, I totally get it.

Because it's not it. Right. Like the Tesla is the way that you're finding that freedom, but also, also it opens up this whole other world for you to find freedom and flexibility in all different aspects of your life and really helps you stay connected to the inspiration of why you wanted it in the first place. Because often, so many times we set the goal and then we're like chasing after the goal, you know, like we're running, we're running, we're burning ourselves out to get there. And it's just like, why was it, why did I want this again? Like, what was I doing? And so in my system. So it's called the dream goal framework and it breaks down into desire first. So what do you desire? Allowing yourself to dream big and really be honest about that. So often we're like, okay, well this is what I want, but I shouldn't want that. Yeah, that's my ego talking. That's this, that's that. No, if you have a desire, it's valid. And by the way, by you having that desire, you have the mechanics for it, for its fulfillment built within that desire for yourself. So desire is first.

Okay.

Second is what we've been talking about, which is radiance. Joy. Right. I love the word radiance because even when you say it, like you're, you know, like your face radiates, like you can't say radiance without smiling. And so it's about what lights you up, what gives you that inner joy, what brings that light into your life. So desire, radiance, essence, which we talked a lot about. So really the heart of the goal, what's the essence of that thing that you want staying connected to the, to that the next one is adaptability. So this is, that's huge. Acknowledging it is, it's acknowledging that on the way toward that thing, whatever that thing is that you're searching for, whatever that thing is that you're working toward, life is going to happen. You're going to get knocked off course. You're going to have new information that comes in and allowing yourself to change, wait for it, change your goals based on new information that you have and based on your life. So often we're still attached to this dream that's no longer serving me, that goal, because I said. I wrote it down and I said I was gonna do it, and I feel like a failure if I don't. Yeah, but you know what? That was last year, you. That's not. This year, you. This year, you know, something different.

So good.

This year, you just went through a trauma. This year, you just had a pandemic. This year, whatever it is, you're allowed to change your goals and your dreams along the way.

That's so good. Yeah, love that.

And again, you might find, as you're focusing on that essence, you might find that the freedom and flexibility isn't down this path. It's down this path instead. I thought it was over there. I thought that this was the packaging that it was going to show up for me in. But actually, what I'm realizing is that it's something else and it's in a different package than of what I expected it to be. And then the last one is meaningful. What's deeply meaningful to you, to spirituality, to the planet.

That's so important.

So desire, radiance, essence, adaptable, meaningful as a new way of setting goals and going after them.

I absolutely love that. Like, if there's one thing that you could leave the listeners with that are. They're struggling and they're like, oh, my gosh, well, I've got big dreams, but I really. I just don't know how to start. What's the one thing I need to do just to start?

Yeah, start small. Just get curious about what brings you joy, because your purpose. It comes back to joy. I love this. It comes back to joy.

Can I just tell you, like, we were meant to do this together, 100%. We started talking because we were talking about collaborating for my event that I just had the Unstoppable Life Mastermind Summit, that. It was amazing. Like, I'm still actually kind of recovering from doing it. It was amazing, but I'm just like, oh, my gosh, I'm a little tired. But we were talking about it, and you reached out and said, you know, I think I'd be great for your show. And I said, yeah, you know what? I think you would be great for my show. And now I think everything happens for a reason, 100%. And you talk so much about, you know, the essence of what you're doing and the life that you have built as a result from. I mean, you were working with these huge companies, like, when I first met you, huge companies. And now you're like, you know what? I'm going to do my own thing. And now you're doing your own thing. You've created this very simplified methodology that people can apply into their life. How can people contact you? How can people. Oh, and you were also saying you were going to give a discount to people for. So tell us how.

Yeah. You want me to share that?

Yeah.

Yeah. So I can't wait to connect with all of you. I'm so, so happy to meet you and to be here and, you know, we're friends of Amberly's together, so you can connect with me on my website called thecreativelifedesign.com my Instagram is aynajbookman and we'll have the spelling in the show notes. But Also you get 50% discount on this planning journal that has the whole system in there. And if you want to connect with me directly, you can have a free 15 minute session. And so all those links will be in the show notes.

You're amazing.

You're amazing.

Thank you so much. Thank you for sharing your wisdom, for sharing so much, and for flying into Dallas to be on the show. I just. I love you.

I love you, too. I'm so happy to be here. Thank you.

Thank you. Hey, thank you for tuning in to the Amberly Law Lago show. Make sure that you share it on your favorite platform. When I see that and you've tagged me, I always reshare it in my stories and make sure to subscribe so you don't miss next week's episode. Okay, we'll see you next week. Thank you for tuning in.