Embracing Vulnerability: Authentic Storytelling with Jimmy Hays Nelson

Hey there. Thank you for being here. Guess what? I have a Black Friday deal just for you. If you are ready to unlock your full potential and achieve unstoppable success, now is your chance. For a limited time only, I am offering 50 off tickets to the Unstoppable Success Summit. And that's $50 off the early bird price. And not only that, the first 20 people who grab their ticket will get a pre summit exclusive invite to a live Conn connection call on Zoom where you're going to be able to connect with other like minded people. Y', all, this is your. This is your chance. It's your chance to network and set powerful intentions before the event even begins. And then you can get in the room to really make true connections, collaborations and grow. So y' all act fast. This deal won't last long. Use code 50 off, that's 50 off at the checkout and save big go to go.amberly lago.com forward/uss2025 to claim your spot. Now again, that is go. Amberly lago.com forward slash USS2025. Grab your ticket. I will see you at the Summit. Let's make 2025 your most unstoppable year yet. Okay, thank you. Now on to the show. Welcome to the Amberly Lago Show. Stories of true grit and gr. Thank you for tuning in to the Amberly Lago show and we all have a story to share. And whether you're in a boardroom or you're standing on stage or you are trying to get a new client, I have someone here who is an expert at helping you craft a story that will make a big impact and increase your income. So Jimmy Nelson, coach Jimmy Nelson is here, y'. All. He is a coach, he is an emcee, he is MC'd for some of the biggest events in the world and he is the mastermind behind the well crafted story. So grab your pen and paper. You're going to want to take notes for this and it's going to change the way you connect with your audience when you're speaking, your clients, when you're speaking with them or like I said, if you're in a boardroom. Welcome to the show, Jimmy. Thank you for being here, Amberly.

I really have goosebumps right now, like listening to you and knowing where we're going to go with this thing. I have been looking forward to this since I was sitting back here with the rest of the audience a few weeks ago watching you do your show because I love watching you do what you do. The fact that you lean into stories so much. So I'm excited about our conversation today.

Well, thank you. So we, I think everything happens for a reason. Like, I don't believe that there's coincidences. I think that everything happens for a reason. And I was speaking at an event and at the VIP dinner, you were there and I had the honor of sitting next to you. And so they're doing a panel and speaking and you and I are just like, leaned in, like locked in. It was instant connection. And everything that you were sharing, I was like, oh my gosh, oh my gosh. What else do you do? Like, you're amazing. And what I loved about when I met you and you teach this a lot is to not lead with all your credentials and achievements. And this is what I do, but really connecting authentically. And I think one of the reasons we deeply connected is because we have a very similar background. We grew up in the same area. And then you started sharing your story and I was blown away. And we have so much to share with the audience. But I just want people to know where you came from. Because you lost a lot of weight.

I did.

How much weight did you lose? And because looking at you, you would never imagine that your story, part of your story would be that you lost all this weight, but you lost all this weight and it transformed your life in every way. So can you just share a little bit about how much weight did you lose?

£100.

That's a person.

It is a person that is like my daughter. It's like Justin Bieber. You know, I think I lost Bieber, thank God. And I think that's so important because so many people see you and your platform. Maybe they see me on an Instagram feed, or we see these people that we look up to and we put them on a pedestal immediately. And our job is to remind people where we came from over and over and over again. And I've shared this story. Now, you know, I always tell people, I almost lead almost with every conversation I have, whether I'm sharing my well crafted story or I'm just teaching is before getting into business, I was a former 100 pound, overweight, three time college dropout that had to move back in with my parents at 21 years old. And I just tell people that because. And one of the reasons that I feel like it's so important for us to be vulnerable in part of our stories is there are always people in our audience that think, oh, yeah, but it was easy for you. Oh, yeah, but you've always looked this way, or you've always had this thing. And I think we do it not for people to feel sorry for us, but to inspire them to say, hey, look, if I've done this from where I've started, so can you. And I think it's so important to start with the vulnerable parts of our story, to let people know where we came from, to inspire and to have other people give them. It's kind of a transfer of hope to be like, hey, let me tell you where I came from. And if I'm here, you can do this as well.

Yeah. And you're so right, because I remember one of the first speaking events I ever did, it was in Beverly Hills, and they were very well to do ladies, of course. And I was meeting people, and they. Honestly, a lot of them weren't very nice to me until I got on stage and I started to share my story. And they were like, oh, wow. And it's. It allows people to connect with you. But I also think there's power in when somebody can go, oh, me too. Like, they get it. They understand. And I want to work with a coach who has had. They have lived the life. I would rather work with a coach who has had struggles to success rather than a coach who has a college degree.

No, absolutely. And one of my very early, early mentors said a version of what you just said, that the point of telling our stories is for somebody to go, oh, my gosh, you too? I thought I was the only one.

Exactly.

But here's the brilliant part of this. So let's say your story is super unique. My story is unique. So somebody watching may say, well, but my story isn't like anybody else's.

That's what I get a lot. And that's one of the questions I have for you.

That's not the point. So if I got up and thought, okay, I'm probably the only person in the room who has probably lost 100 pounds and kept it off for 20 years, dropped out of college three times, worked at Disney World, done all the silly things I've done, my point is not to find somebody else that has the same resume and check off that they do that I do, it's that somewhere in my story, they find themselves. Right. So if I share the story about being frustrated growing up and feeling like I was torn between two houses and uncomfortable in my skin, or if I talk later about the intro of my keynote where I've lost the weight, I moved to New York City, I think I've done all the right things, but instead of being on the Broadway shows I wanted to be on, I'm in the middle of Times Square passing out chocolates in a stupid outfit. And I felt like I should have been further along in life. These are emotional connections we make with people. It's. Oh, I absolutely have been disappointed in myself in life. Oh, my gosh. I have thought I should have been further along. I did all the right things and I didn't get the promise at the end. So it's not so much that the details are the same. It's that the emotion that we were talking about, the overcoming of things, is that people, when we're sharing our story, they're really not thinking about us. They're thinking about some version in their head of their own story that they felt something similar.

That is so powerful and so true. And, you know, I had a speaker agent one time, and she was telling some speakers bureaus about me and my story, and it was just about, girl has motorcycle accident and has 34 surgeries to save her leg. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, that's not what it is. Because one of the speakers bureau said, well, you know, people are not going to relate to that. And they said, you know, why can't you be more like Ed Mylett? Like, he's got a story and he talks about the power of one more because he grew up with an alcoholic dad. And you know what I said? I said, my story is not just about having a motorcycle accident. I said, that's part of my story. I said, yeah, he grew up with an alcoholic dad. And Ed's one of the most brilliant speakers in the world. He's incredible. First of all, I was like, I'm not a man. And I was like, I didn't not only grow up with an alcoholic. I said, I am an alcoholic. And they got real quiet. And I said, I got sober in 2016. I said, I have struggled with. I went on and on about sexual abuse, divorce, being a single mom, like, losing everything, having debt, $2.9 million worth of debt. And they were just like, oh, like,

can I stop you right there?

Yeah.

What did you lead with all the awesome stuff that you did? Which is. No, the reason people relate with us because we've all seen speakers, we've all seen people that come out and they want to lead with that resume. Right. And there's a part when I'm mapping out somebody's well crafted story. We're gonna get to that. But we're never gonna lead with it. Because the very first thing I need to know as an audience member is, why are you just like me? And when I say that, why have you been disappointed? Why do you have trauma? What have you had to overcome? Because think about our favorite movies. We do not like the movie that at the beginning of the movie, the guy's rich, he has the girl, he has no problem. We hate that guy. We like the guy who got punched

in the face at the beginning. I mean, I always root for even,

like the stupid Hallmark movies. We're like, you already know they're going to get together at the end because, you know they're co workers and they're fighting. You're like, all right, well, they're going to end up together at the end. But there has to be that conflict first.

Yeah.

There has to be that vulnerable piece. There has to be that thing that we're rooting for.

Yeah.

We don't. We wouldn't have rooted for Rocky if he started as the heavyweight champion of the world.

Exactly.

He was this big lug that was like punching meat in a. In a freezer, you know, so we. We wanted to root for him. We root for the underdog. And so even if when people meet us and introduce to us we're not the underdog now, we have to take them back to when we were and take them on that journey.

Exactly. We, I think, teach very similar. Like I always tell people, share the obstacle, then share the solution, and then share the benefit, because everybody really wants to know.

Yeah, I love that.

What's in it for them?

Absolutely.

You know, and then I've had people that. I said, if you're on a podcast interview, don't make 45 minutes of the podcast all about your problem. Share it, the key points, then get to the solution and then get to the benefit. Because people want to know. Okay, yeah, they're like me, but how do you get through it?

Absolutely.

And so I have a question for you. Going back to what you said about just storytelling and how it's not just about, like, yeah, there's. I don't know anybody that could, like 100 pounds, right. Dropped out of college three times. For me, there's probably not that many females that were riding a Harley that got t boned by an suv. You know what I mean?

Or any of the other things you just listed out.

Yeah.

That you have overcome or challenges. Right.

So, yeah, so I've had people go, but I don't have some big thing that I've overcome. I don't have a story. What do you say to people who are like, what? Well, I didn't overcome this huge challenge or what is.

Or I didn't lose a hundred pounds or I didn't, you know, whatever. And so this is one of the, one of the techniques that I teach is called universalizing. A universalizing statement. So there are certain, like, speaking coaches out there, and I feel like they live in one of two camps. They either say, you can't tell if you have a big, audacious, crazy story. Well, don't tell that because your audience can't relate with it. Right. One of the guys I worked with one time was the last person to catch a touchdown pass from Peyton Manning in the Super Bowl. Buddy of mine, Benny Fowler, had a chance to work with him a little bit. He's the only person with that story nobody else ever caught, like the last touchdown pass from. But he has to share that story. That's great. You want to hear that story? On the flip side, if somebody thinks that their story is kind of mundane, kind of day to day, you can tell that story too. Number one, your story's not as mundane as you think. Everybody underplays their story because they're the ones that did it. They think, oh, if I did it, anybody could do this. That we just. Everybody downplays their story. But let's say you do have the most mundane of boring stories when you get to the end of that story, as you're turning it to your audience. I teach what I call, like a universalizing statement. So let's say I'm talking about my time in Times Square and I've struggled with the weight and I've dropped out of college and, you know, there I am passing out chocolates, not where I wanted to be. And I will say a phrase that goes something like this. For me, it was struggling with my weight and not being where I wanted financially in my career. For you, it may be with your relationship with your kids. For you, it may be how something didn't work out career wise. And so then I turn it from, I talk about me, but then I turn it back to the audience and say, hey, for me, my struggles were X, Y and Z. My struggles were with alcoholism and abuse. For you, it may be something with your parents or something with somebody else. And then we're all on the same page as we move into, like you said, the solution mode, right? So, because again, for whatever reason, people want to try to exclude themselves, they're going to like, but I'm different. But I'm different. But if we, as speakers can say, you may have a story and I may have a story, you and I are a perfect example of this. We have very different stories. Yes, we have some fitness background. We have some things in common, but really, we have two very different stories. But we've had so much synergy in the short time we've known each other. Because I feel like both of us have experienced the same emotional challenges.

Exactly, exactly.

So that's why I think no matter if you. If you think you have a small story or a big story, you can still share that story and have an impact as long as you learn how to tie it back to your audience and let them find themselves inside your story as well.

Yeah. And that's so good. You know, and recovery. We're taught to, like. One of the first things I was taught was look for the similarities, not the differences. So. And that could go for anybody who is going into a networking event. If you go into a networking event and you're just like, oh, they're so different than me. No, I don't relate. Like, look for. Hunt out the similarities. Yeah. And I love that you are so authentic when you meet. And I think, could you share a little bit about why that's important, whether you are in the boardroom or a networking event or whether you're, like, trying to onboard a new client. You're like, have a connection call with somebody who's thinking about coaching with you. How would you lead with that? Because I think a lot of people want to talk about how great they are, and I am known for just keeping it real. You get what you see. I'm not perfect. Like, even before we started recording, I was like, oh, yeah, I didn't even own a computer six years ago. So learning how to look into the camera when I'm doing a zoom call or a podcast interview or a virtual event, I've had to learn all these things.

Absolutely.

But what would you suggest for someone to do if they are like, well, I want to be more impactful and make that more meaningful connection. What's the first thing they can do if they're walking into a room?

Yeah. You have to be authentic. Let's say you're not. Let's say I put on some kind of mask when I meet you. Then every time you and I ever interact again, I have to remember what that mask was.

That's sucks.

That's exhausting. You know, it's like, what was that version of me? What. What version did I meet Amberly in and what does she expect of me? Or I can just be me and I can talk about my strengths, but I can talk real quickly about, hey, let's say it was a coaching client. Hey, the things I'm really good at is I can find somebody's mundane story and tie it to their product and service. I can teach you how to be dynamic with your story. Even if you think you're an introvert and you're not on, you know, you don't feel like you can be on stage. I'm going to show you how to map this out. I'm going to help you be a little bit better on camera. Things. I'm really bad at anything that involves a spreadsheet. Anything that involves anything analytical, technical. Right. And so that's.

We are so much alive.

We are the same animal. Yes. And it's one of those things like I'm just going to lead with, hey, this is what I do well. And that hasn't always been the case, you know, specifically, you know, my background in New York when I was pursuing an acting career and auditioning for Broadway shows, I had just a sweetheart of a mentor, beautiful 80 year old man named Jack Lee. We kind of called him the Yoda of musical theater. Just so much wisdom. And he'd worked all the way back with Gene Kelly and Chita Rivera and like all these legends.

Oh, gosh. And see, I know all of these people because of my dance background.

And I remember him telling me we would go through like my audition book and I always wanted to lead with like the flashiest song and the.

And was it.

The one he always went back to was a rubber ducky from Sesame Street. I'm like, Jack, it's like four notes.

He's like, but it shows me who you are.

So he's like, you just come through in this silly little song. And he said, quit trying to walk in to this audition room. Which the audition room can be the next time somebody's interviewing for like a job. You're looking for the perfect client. You're looking for that executive assistant. You're on a date. So instead of trying to guess what that person wants you to be. So that's what I used to do. I go into an audition and be like, all right, what do they want me to be today? Well, if I just led with me, because who knows, they may just have been looking for me, right? But I had to go in and be okay. I might as well be 1000% authentic. Now, some people may say that's not My flavor, that's not my style. But I found so much more peace now being able to say, hey, you're either my tribe or you're not. And that's okay. It's not a reflection of me. And I used to really deal with self worth, stuff like that. Because growing up in a broken home as 100 pound overweight kid, when I share my well crafted story, this silly little story about the first time I ever sang on stage in first grade as a fat kid in Lubbock, Texas, and how it felt so awkward but for the first time when I finally opened my mouth to sing this stupid song about Santa Claus.

Was that the one about going down the chimney? Yeah.

Too fat for the chimney? Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah. See, I've been stalking you.

You have been doing your homework.

I have.

And so on that stage where I'm pushed out and I'm wearing like a stupid, you know, feedy pajamas with a drop bottom and I'm terrified, but I open my mouth and I get a nod and a smile from the audience, it was like, oh, I get to be me. I don't have to be a version of mom's house or dad's house or what is my. What does the principal want? And what. You know, it was just. And once we just embrace being authentically us and knowing some people aren't going to vibe with us. But here's the flip part.

The people that do vibe with us,

it's on such a deeper level and such a connection that I'll use our friendship as one of these. Like we haven't known each other that

long, but it was instant connection. Yeah. And I think people are craving authenticity.

But that wouldn't have happened if I sat down at dinner that day and

started just telling me, oh, because you have emceed for some of the biggest events in the world. And I would have been impressed. But it wouldn't have been a real meaningful connection. We probably wouldn't even be sitting here today.

People that leave with their resumes, it's just like. And it's great. We can celebrate it. We have shared cool things that we've done since then, but that's not what we led with and that's not what we connected.

Yeah, exactly. And I think you can feel when someone's authentic. I mean, we should have been recording before we like 30 minutes because we were just like, yeah, you can feel even when somebody, a speaker is on stage and they've done that same talk over and over and over, you can feel it. But when somebody is very authentic. And they are really. They want. Their intention is to connect with the audience. It makes all of the difference. So when you first start with someone who's like, can you help me craft my story?

Right.

Do you have like, a template breakdown that you go through? And also, by the way, I love that you were like, spreadsheets. No, I'm like, thank God. Yeah, that's not me.

God bless that I learned to outsource at some point because I wasn't. I wasn't strengthened. I was trying to do everything early on. And like, in your career, you kind of start in this entrepreneurial journey.

You think you have to do everything. Oh, my goodness. I know. And we're like. I was like, I can't. I just had a conversation with my new executive assistant and she's like, you really need to sign up for this DocuSign thing. We need to have these. And I was like, okay, I'm over here finishing the companion book for the Joy through the Journey book. And I got this deadline. And I was like, I will do that if you can do it for me. She's like, yeah, I'll do it. And I'm like, okay, thanks.

Isn't outsourcing the most brilliant blessing in the world?

And if you want to grow, you really have to learn to outsource. You really do.

But I do. You were asking about a template. How do I start somebody when I'm trying to create their well crafted story? There is a template, but I also want to really, really reiterate. I do not try to put every speaker I work within a box.

Yeah.

I have worked with people that go, cool. This is what makes a good speaker because it goes back to authenticity. I want you to be a thousand percent you on stage. There are strategies and techniques and things that I think I can guide along. But if you're. Maybe you've run into this, people like, oh, I want to be a good speaker, like, and they'll list like, Tony Robbins or Gary Vaynerchuk. And I'm like, well, that's a style of speaker.

You don't. You know what?

It doesn't work.

You don't have to work. But if you're trying to be like someone else, I can admire people that have had a successful career in speaking. But I made the mistake one time. There was a TEDx speaker that I was like, oh, I want to be more like her.

And you tried to copy her.

And I did one talk where it was the worst talk I've ever given. I tried to Be more like her. And I actually never cuss on stage. And I actually said a cuss word because she said a cuss word. I said a cuss word. And my audience was Mormons. I was in Salt Lake City. I bombed. I was horrible. And from that day on. But I learned a lesson from that. I'm not going to copy how somebody else is speaking. I have to be me.

And what makes Gary Gary is I've hung out with Gary onstage, and I've hung out with Gary offstage. That's just him.

That's him, right? That's the same with David Meltzer.

Yeah, Meltzer's the same way. But think of somebody like, okay, if you say a loud, you know, boisterous speaker is a good speaker. Well, what's Brene Brown? Brene's brilliant and the completely different opposite. So I want to start with somebody and make them authentically them. But I do start with two questions. Before I ever was just doing this in a workshop with some clients yesterday. They're like, I want to speak. What's my story? And we start with two clarity questions, because we got to get clear on something before we pick the story or pick what we want to teach. And it's, who is your ideal audience? And what problem are you solving?

Yeah.

And so many people really, really struggle with those two questions because they think. And I was this way when I started my health and fitness journey, and that was my first business. If you could fog a mirror, I thought you were my client because I just wanted anybody. Right. And you're just like, okay, I'm just going to serve everybody. But what I've learned is if you're willing to niche down and get really specific on who you're talking to, not only will you dominate inside that niche, there were people outside of that that will still flock to you because you just talk to. So people think, oh, I'm leaving money on the table, or people aren't going to listen to me if I only talk to single moms or if I only talk to grandparents over 50, or if I only talk to somebody going through a transition or whatever their audience is. And that's truly not the case. I have a friend of mine that works. She helps with yoga for overnight truckers. Right. And what about a niche of a niche of a niche of a niche? She's fantastic. But what she spent, and she even talked about when she leaned into that, she was nervous to make that shift. But you know who reaches out to her now? Hey, I know you work with truckers But I'm an airline pilot. Can you. Because she chose an audience to serve. So that's number one is, who's that? Who's your ideal audience? The second part is what problem do you solve? But the trick with this is, can you describe the problem the way your ideal audience would describe it? Because so often we want to say we solved the problem, but we use, we talk about the solution and we kind of use expert speak where somebody will say something. Like, a buddy of mine uses this example all the time. And I did too, when I was in health and fitness. Like, what problem do you solve? Oh, the problem I solve is healthy eating. Healthy eating really isn't a problem like destroying a bag of Doritos, watching Netflix. There's your problem. Right? And so if we can get really clear on that, then we can sit down and start working through what's the best story we're going to lead with. Right? And sometimes that story, sometimes your story is the customer's journey. So when I was in my fitness world, my fitness story was the journey was like a lot of what my audience was. But on the flip side, I work a ton with real estate agents. My parents have been in real estate for 30 years. When I work with a real estate agent and say, hey, your well crafted story can get you more clients and more listings. And I'm like, how? And I said, look, this is what I know in 30 years of watching my parents, it's not if, but when there's going to be a hiccup in the whole transaction, right? And so sometimes what we'll do is we'll find a story from high school or college of a time has nothing to do with real estate. It's a time they did everything right. And some external reason created a hiccup, created a challenge, because when they share that story, once we get to the end of the talk, then they can always end with, hey, you and I are going to do everything right. We're going to dot all the I's and cross all the t's. But I can't promise you that there's not going to be some turbulence in this transaction. But just like my story, I told you beforehand, you want me in your foxhole because we're going to fix it, make it right at the end. And that's where it goes back to what the emotion of the story is.

And that's where they're going to develop that trust. And they know, okay, this guy's got my back or this girl's got my back. That is so important. And I have actually shared that with real estate agents because I've had real estate agents in my mastermind. And I'm like, you're just posting pictures of houses.

I said, all they do people.

Yeah.

I'm like, it's so easy to stand out in the that industry if you'll just lean in to let me know who you are.

Exactly. Because. And it's the same even. I remember when I wrote my first book, there are a million trillion books out there. People didn't buy my book because I'm holding a book up. They bought the book because they got to know me and my story and we had a connection. And so I really think, like, if realtors would just, I say let people know who you are. And I always kind of think of it like, let's take Instagram, for instance. If your posts are like your storefront, that's what people get to see. Oh, well, they do this and this. But your story is like, they're walking in the store. Oh, the store's open. They're walking in the store. I'm getting to know them. And the DMs are your cash register.

Oh, I like that. I like that a lot.

See, we're going to do.

We could just brainstorm another analogy. I heard it, I heard it something similar like that, but it was like if you invited somebody over to your house and that's the living room, they see the pictures, they see the things you're into if you're in a hunting whatever. But I like the cash register part of the DMs because that's absolutely. That's like that next step. But you're right, I love that storefront analogy. That's good.

Yeah.

And I've told, I've told.

Good, take that. And I've told people before, like you, you know, in your story, always have your story going. I don't care if you're just posting a quote, but if you don't have your story going, people think you're closed. It's like turning the lights off when

people think people already shared that. This. I used to fall into this. Like one of the things. So back in my health and fitness days. So as I was building that business initially, I was sharing a lot about my befores and I really didn't have a lot of before and afters because this was pre, like everybody carrying a full phone with them and, you know, age myself.

Now, Matt, I don't have a lot of before of, like when I was real in my Wheelchair or using my walker because people would try to take pictures. I'm like, don't take a picture of me in this wheelchair. I didn't. And now I'm like, I wish I would have taken.

I wish I had more like Fat Jimmy pictures. But where that shifted so that the business was working well. I was being vulnerable sharing that. And then I got cast in the Insanity Workouts.

You did?

Oh, yes. If you remember Shaun T, we follow

each other on Instagram.

Shaun's a good buddy of mine. So number two.

Well, tell him to listen to this episode.

You should have him on.

Tell him to be on the show.

I'll get Sean on here. And I remember we shooting that in the Bronx in a basketball gymnasium. Number one, I thought, nobody's gonna do this workout. This is the hardest thing in the world. This is hell.

Little did I know it looked like hell.

Little did I know it was gonna become the best selling workout of all times internationally, right? Yeah. Yeah. But once it hit and I started getting recognized because there's a moment in one of the DVDs where Sean comes over and we're doing squats, and I'm just dying, and he's like, jimmy's got those good squats. And I became Jimmy with the good squats for a good 10 years. Somebody would buy me. But here's what happened. When I talked about. Here's what my business suffered. All of a sudden I felt this pressure to be this fitness professional, to be as lean as I possibly could, to be some small white version of Shaun T. And I stopped sharing where I came from. So people that were introduced to me because they saw me on the Insanity Workout just thought, he's always been this fit. He's always looked this way. So while I gained fans and followers, I lost clients and people that would take action because they no longer could relate with me. They didn't think, oh, I can't do this. You've always looked that way. And so that's why you talk about always sharing that story. There's new eyeballs on us every day. We got to continue to remind people where we came from, from, and that way, because if we don't, we're not transferring that hope to them that they can do it too. It's not that we're bragging. I've heard people say, well, I don't want to talk about what I've overcome. I don't want to talk about what I've done because I don't want to feel like I'm bragging.

Yeah.

And I said, you're robbing somebody else where they can. They can borrow your confidence, they can borrow your hope a minute, because they may just be on their last, last, last leg, and they just need. They need to hear somebody else's win because they haven't had one in a while. And they go, oh, maybe that was the spark. Maybe that was the thing when we're willing to continue to share the vulnerable parts of our story.

Yeah. You know, everything changed for me. I didn't have social media at all, and I didn't get social media until my publisher for my first book was like, well, we don't do any marketing or branding. If you want your book out there, it's up to you. And I'm like, well, crap, I don't have money. What do I do? And so I was like, I better figure out this Instagram thing. I didn't know what a hashtag was. I didn't know how to use it, and I was posting stuff. But do you know when I really started to gain connections on social media was the first time I showed my scars on my leg and people were like, oh, you know, she's. She's gone through some stuff.

Were you hesitant to do that to start?

Well, I had. It took me a while. Like, I didn't. I didn't even share about my sobriety. I was sober for a year, I think, and I had somebody. This is so against, like, being in the program. You don't ever break anonymity, you know, And I had a friend that was sober and she did a post about us, about me being sober, and I was like, oh, my gosh, now people know. Like, I was like, well, I guess it's out now, but I just shared a post the other day because I had a friend that said. Sent me a picture of me when

I was the side by side one. Yeah, I stuck you to.

Oh, you saw that?

I did.

She sent me this picture and I was like, cringed because I was like, there's a wine glass in front of me. And I remember that night, that specific time. Oh, I remember that. And I was all. I was deep in the. I was so dead inside and struggling so hard. And on the inside, I felt like I was dying. I had to. So much pain. And on the outside, I was trying to hold it all together. There's no spark in my eye. I was 25 pounds heavier than I am now. And the difference is I'm a different person. But when I share that, and it took me a while to share about my sobriety and my recovery. But every time I share, I have somebody reach out and say, because of you, I'm sober a month, because of you, I've been sober a year. And it just took me sharing that and for, because I was like that, I was like, nobody's going to understand this pain. Nobody's going to understand what I'm going through. But when you can meet with someone and go, they get it right. Me too.

But that goes back to what I was saying. That person, let's say that person was exactly where you were emotionally on their couch, doom scrolling, whatever. Just they're struggling as well. And somebody they already look up to or already have some kind of admiration for, they go, oh my gosh. I just know this version of her.

I didn't know that she lost 25 pounds.

And that may be the one thing they needed to change their life. And the other thing that I really, the fact that you were like, I knew exactly that moment when you saw the picture. The other thing when I work with people, when we're trying to figure out what story to tell is a concept of like, take me into a room, take me into a moment. And the more specific a more a moment that we can take somebody into because a lot of times people want to tell stories from like a 30,000 foot view or like from a third person thing. And I'm like, take me into that room, tell me what you were feeling, what did it smell like? Then we'll do exercise and that it may not all make it into the where when they perform or give their story, but we do that homework. Tell me where you were that day, what did it feel like? What did it smell like? What was that? You know.

And so is that like method acting?

Oh, I guess a little bit. I think it just thinks this attention to detail because like we were talking about before we started rolling, the people that have told stories over and over and over again, you can see that they're so emotionally detached from it. I think more than anything, the more homework you can do on that piece, it just, you're reminded of it every time you talk. There's a part of my story that I talk about. You know, I was 100 pounds overweight. I was trying to act, I was trying to go to college and every time I'd get uncomfortable, I would move. I went to a two year school here. Then I kind of ran off to the musical theater department at the University of Oklahoma. Then I ran off to Disney World and worked there for a couple years. And you were just running. I was running. I would always just change. And you know what's crazy, Amberly? Every time I moved, all those stupid problems that were all those other people's

faults, they followed me.

What's the common denominator? But then there was a moment. I tried to go to college one last time right outside. I'd got a theater scholarship again. I had a scholarship at OU and it didn't work out. And Rollins College right outside of Orlando. And I remember my mom calling me and she said, hey, Jimmy, we're worried about you. She's like, we see all these, like. I'd maxed out multiple credit cards, collections, agencies were, you know, calling me at. Or calling them at home. And it was one of those times I was talking to my mom and I wanted to have this big BO up moment of like, no, I'm gonna chase my. And I just surrendered. It was just like. And I moved back here and I was waiting tables not far from here, up the Tollway. I'd stopped performing, I'd stopped pursuing anything. And I'm living in my parents house at 22 years old out in Rockwall, driving all the way over here. But I share this moment of getting up. I would sleep in as long as I could, trying to make a lunch shift. I'm upstairs at my parents house and I run into the shower, take a shower. I wrap a towel around me and normally I would just scoot by the mirror and for whatever reason that day I stopped and I didn't respect the person looking back at me.

Oh, wow.

And like it was yesterday. You want to talk about. Find a moment, I thought when I looked in the mirror, who's going to love this at 22 years old? Because it was. I always had other excuses and it wasn't ever excuses. It was. I'm just saying. Or let me just explain. But that was my surrender moment was right then. And when I'm on stage in front of an audience and I share that and I just take a beat and I look in people's eyes, I can see them figuring out what was their enough is enough moment too. What was their rock? Because again, I share in mine.

But they go right to theirs as well when you're sharing that. I went to my moment of surrender and it was when I had my. It was my former sister in law who loved me enough when I was drinking. And she could tell, she was like, something's not right. Like I thought I was hiding it pretty good. And the gig was up. It was like this ain't working anymore. And it was that moment she called me out and I just. I surrendered. And it was that deep. Like, I can't keep this up anymore. I can't keep this charade up anymore. And it was when I changed my life. When I changed my life.

And it's like defeating and freeing at the same time.

It was. I just remember in that moment crying and. But everything that you just shared, you're so right. I was seeing myself in that moment. And. Can we do, like, a little fun exercise really quick?

Yeah.

Okay. Okay. Let's say. And I want to use this as an example for somebody and how you help someone put together a talk. Let's say I'm doing a whole new talk. Because every time. Every time I go to share it, people always want to. They want to hear, like, how did you get through all those surgeries? They want to hear, how do you build grit? How do you strengthen your resilience?

And so it's like going to see a band. You want to hear the greatest hits.

Yeah.

Because you don't want to always hear the new stuff. That's why there are certain people we talked about. I love me some John Maxwell. I've heard John Maxwell. Same talk. But it's really good. But. So there are certain times you're like, oh, I hope they give this talk. Or you go see that comedian. You're like, I hope for this joke. But occasionally you need new material. So continue. I'm sorry.

So let's say, you know. So I have a new book coming out, Joy for the Journey. Joy through the Journey. I'm sorry, I got distracted. I saw. We're like, out of time. They're like. I'm like, but one more second. I mean, I could talk to you for hours.

But we'll do a part two sometime, I promise.

Okay. We should. We need to. We need to do that. I'm giving a talk. I want to talk. There's people that. They are freaking out for whatever reason, whether it's their finances or politics or their relationship. All the reasons. All the reasons. And they want more joy. And I'm the person that's going to give this talk. How do I start? What do I say? I don't know how to share it. Tell me what to do, Jimmy.

So we've identified your audience. Are people that like joy.

Yeah, they want to be a joy.

The problem that you solve is people in despair. Yeah, that's where I would go. Despair, anxiety, frustration, overwhelm. These are words that are. That our Audiences use. Our audience don't use words like mindset or personal development or synergy. Nobody wakes up in the morning or wakes up at 3am and go, oh my gosh, I need a new mindset. That's not the words they use. Right.

So true.

So once we identify who that audience is, then you and I would do a bit of a memory jogger and say, hey, let's find some examples of a story where you were completely out of joy. Where was the time that you were just the most in despair?

Yeah.

Or what? And so when I'll take somebody through a memory jogger, we'll go through all sorts of stuff like, tell me about your. This is going to sound silly. I'm saying, tell me about your first. First car. Tell me about your worst date. Because what it does is it gets your brain rolling of all these silly little stories.

Yeah.

That somebody did that with me. That's how I found the first grade story. I didn't know that's what I was going to lead with. And we found a way to tie that in. Then the second thing we want to do is what do we want to teach our audience once we've connected with them emotionally? The best speakers actually solve problems from stage. They're not the ones that teach the most. Or look at my big brain, my goal every time I'm in front of an audience. If we never do business together, if I never see you again, I want to give you something that you can take into your life and take action and actually apply.

Yes, I think so.

Because at the end of the day, I think the best speakers give away their best stuff because people don't pay for information. We have YouTube. We have podcasts.

Yeah.

People pay for access to you and accountability with you to follow through.

Yeah.

It's not the information.

It's so true.

So then we would identify what are the two to three things we really want to teach the audience, short term and long term. And then the last thing we would do in that talk is what's the call to action? What's the next thing you want them to do? Is there a free giveaway? Do you have a coaching program? Do you want them to buy this book? And then at the very end, we tell one more emotional story because every audience is made up of analytical decision makers and emotional decision makers. And we make sure we take care of both of them, that they take the next action.

Oh, you're so good. You are so good. And it's so funny. When I did my TED Talk, they. I Thought I was first talk I'd ever done and I thought I was going to get. They said, we've got a curator that will help you. And I was like, great, I need someone to help me. The only advice I got was don't talk about God and don't talk about your motorcycle accident too much. And I was like, oh, goodness. They're like, you're talking to scientists. But you know what? When I gave my talk, there were people in there that were like, not just analytical. There were people that. I got their emotion and it was crazy.

Okay, I know we're short on time, but I gotta touch on this. We are all emotional decision makers. It's why storytelling works. It's the oldest form of communication. And even the most analytical person. I know, we all are emotional decision makers. Analytical people just justify analytically afterwards. Yeah, but they're still emotional decision makers.

It's so true. I mean, when I'm emotional, I start looking at Alice and Olivia clothes and want to buy stuff.

But you justify it because there was a coupon, this used to be 350 bucks. I actually saved money. No, you didn't.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Well, I know so many people are going to want to know more. You give so much. I mean, I'm signed up for your new. And I mean you. And we didn't even touch on all the amazing things that you do. Like, I was. Just before we even started, I was messaging my event planner saying, oh, my gosh, I'm interviewing Jimmy Nelson on the show and he's the best mc. She goes, well, who is he? I'm like, here's his handle. Go look him up. Isn't it the Coach Jimmy?

Yeah, the Coach Jimmy on Instagram.

And so I sent her her. Your handle. And I was. And she's like, oh, my gosh. I'm like, oh, no, he is legit. Like, he is, like, amazing. So tell people how. Because you give so much. You give PDFs, you give webinars, you give so much of yourself. But how can people find you other than just Instagram? I want to go follow him on Instagram right now. Where's my. Okay, go where? I'm like, where's my camera?

Right here. I think that's my. Oh, look, it's my camera. Because there's me.

There you are.

I know we covered a lot of things here, and you have a story to tell, and whether you think so or not. And so what I've done is this has been a lot of fantastic information, but I put it all together in a PDF for you. So just go to storywellcrafted.com, which you'll get as a PDF that you can put straight to your phone. What it does is it walks through a lot of the things we walked through today. And what that means for you is the next time you're on a stage or in front of somebody, you'll know what to do. So just go to storywellcrafted.com.

oh, my goodness. You're amazing.

This has been a blast. We gotta do this again.

I know, I know. We just get together and it's like, oh, and this and this, this, this, this, this. We just go. It's so much fun. You. I just love you. And I am so grateful that we sat beside each other at that dinner.

A happy dinner. Yeah.

Yes. For sure. And I can't wait to talk to you more. And I've gotta have you back.

Okay.

And when I have you back, I think that we need to choreograph some moves, do a little dance. Oh, a little. A little.

Little throwback musical theater stuff.

Yes. Yes.

I still got my tap shoes somewhere.

Okay.

I can't tell you that I'm good with them anymore, but I got.

Okay, one more thing. Tap shoes. During COVID my daughter was like. I was like, you know what? Maybe I'll start tick tock. And she goes, oh, mom, don't start tick tock. You're way too old. Don't start. Don't get on TikTok. You're too old for it. And I was like, no, I think I'm gonna do it. I hadn't put my tap shoes on since my motorcycle accident. She goes, no, mom. And I was trying to squeeze my foot that's all metal and hard to move, you know, move around and got my tap shoe on. It's the first time I'd done tap dance since my motorcycle accident.

You tap TikTok?

I do. It was my first one.

That's awesome.

And guess what? It went viral. I'm sure.

Of course it did.

I was like, first time putting my tap shoes on. I told a story and it went viral. And I was like, hey, Ruby, don't mean to brag, but I'm on TikTok now. And look at this. You know what I mean?

That's awesome.

We'll have to do a little tap dance together.

Yeah. Okay. We keep it basic, but I think I can remember a little bit.

Okay, we'll keep it. But we'll do a time step.

Yeah, I can do that.

Yeah. So thank y'. All. So much for tuning into the show. And please go follow thejimmy Nelson on Instagram. And you know what? Better yet, screenshot this. Tag me@amberly lagomotivationandjimi. And you know what? When I see that, it means the world to me and I share it in my story. I just appreciate you being here. Don't forget to join us in April 2025. So we are meeting April here in Dallas April 25th and 26th for the Unstoppable success summit. I can't wait to see see you there. Along with speakers like Trent Shelton, Renee Rodriguez, and actually, I'm going to talk to Jimmy about some stuff after this. So we might have some surprises for you. Yeah. And I didn't even say we had a studio audience. We got to have you back because we've got Luke here in the studio audience and some other, you know, fantastic people always that come and sit in for the show. So thanks for being here, Luke, and thank you for tuning in and we will see you next week.