What Shapes Us with Jen Elizabeth

Welcome back. Or if this is your first time tuning in, thank you so much for being here. As you know, starting anything new can be a little scary. So thank you to so many of you that have been supporting me along the way and helping because it's really touched my heart to see how you've shared this podcast on your Instagram stories, seeing your messages, emails and left to

review those help so much.

So thank you. And if you want to see some of the behind the scenes or keep the conversation going, you can head over to my Instagram Amberly lagomotivation. And if you find even a little nugget of wisdom in the episodes that you think someone else would benefit from hearing, please share it with a friend. That would help too. Do y' all believe in miracles? Well, after listening to this next guest, I can guarantee you you will because she is a miracle. Her story is one of miraculous transformation. She went from living a life of addiction on the streets, she was eating out of garbage cans and in and out of jails to being a best selling author. She's a wife, she's a mama, and she speaks across the country on recovery and she offers tools, insights and inspiration to all those who are struggling or even feeling hopeless. Her first book is called Shape of a Woman. I've read it. It's so touching. She shares how she healed her childhood trauma, she got sober and she completely transformed her life. So I'm excited to bring this next guest to you to the show. Welcome Jen Elizabeth.

Welcome to True Grit and Grace, a podcast designed to empower you to claim your resilience and thrive through life's challenges. I am Amberly Lago, a mindset coach, fitness expert and best selling author. Each week I'll dive deep with the world's brightest thought leaders and elite performers to share tangible tools and practical advice to inspire you to keep your eyes on the prize and forge ahead. So get ready to conquer your fears, heal any trauma, lead with your heart and elevate your life with grit and grace.

Hi and welcome to another episode of True Grit and Grace. I'm Amberly Lago and I'm so excited to introduce this next guest because she is the definition of resilient. Thank you for joining us, Jen. Thank you for coming on the show.

Welcome my friend. Good morning.

Good morning. How are you?

Best way to start a Saturday morning chit chatting with your girlfriends, right?

Yes. Jen Elizabeth, you are amazing and you are changing lives. I know. You have definitely impacted my life. You have given me confidence actually to share my story on A deeper level through social media. I met you about. Was it a month ago? Maybe two months ago?

Yeah.

And it was for National Sober Day, and our mutual friend invited me to go to this event, and it was celebrating sobriety. Whether people go, you know, have been sober because they're recovering alcoholics or whether they're sober, curious. Which, honestly, I didn't even know what that was. But I love that people are doing it.

I know.

Yeah. So we got there, and you were the speaker, and as soon as you started sharing your story, I was instantly connected to you. And because a lot of the things that you have gone through, I have experienced, too, and then everything. And I'll let you tell your story because you are amazing at telling your story. But I noticed even on your Instagram, and if you guys. If you aren't following Jen on our Instagram, it's resurrect me. Can you spell that out? Because it's not.

Yeah, yeah. It's resurrection with a K. That's right. Yeah. Underscore of me.

Okay. Yeah. Because I love the post that you did on recovering. You've just celebrated a year of recovery from your eating disorders or. Yeah, and that was. People were commenting, and it went viral because I think there's so many of us that struggle and we don't talk about it. And so you have empowered a lot of people to heal through their traumas by sharing your story. So can you start off just by telling us a little bit about you and some of the things that you've gone through that have led you to write this amazing book that. That. It's so amazing. And I just loaned it out to someone because it's so good. One of my sobriety sisters is reading it. So could you share a little bit of your journey just so people get an idea of who you are and how far you've come?

Sure, I would love to. So my journey starts, I think, from birth. You know, I was born into a family that also suffers from mental illnesses and addictions to a mother that was unable to care for me and love me the way that a mother should. You know, it's not her fault. But, you know, of all the lessons I've ever learned, this is probably the most important, is that it's not my fault either. I grew up feeling and being told that it was, you know, my causing that made her want to kill herself or made her so disappointed. She was. You know, I wanted her to love me so much. You know, I think we all want that.

We all feel loved, especially from our parents. And that causes deep shame. I feel like when we don't get that love, or like you feel like it was your fault for sure.

I mean, I would be searching the streets with the police looking for her because she was missing on a suicide mission.

How old were you when this?

7, 8? 12? 16. You know, no one ever sat me down and talked about mental illness. No one ever sat me down and said, listen, you know, your mom's in the hospital again. It's not your fault, these things, you know, we were not supposed to talk about it.

And that's how I grew up, where it was. And you know what a saying was when I grew up was, hide your crazy and be a lady. That was actually something that I was told, hide your crazy and be a lady. And so when we had some crazy shit going on in the house, it was like, go to Sunday school and pretend like everything is okay.

Exactly.

And that can lead you down a road of despair. I know it did for me, and it certainly did for you.

Oh, yeah. You know, shame is the beast, right? And, you know, secrets and holding all that stuff in and a child trying to come up with explanations and figuring stuff out that doesn't make any sense. You can't make sense of all that stuff. I just internalized it all, you know, and, well, when I was like, two and a half, we joined. My parents joined a religious cult. You know, my parents were lost, and it's taken me a lot. It's been a long road to find so much compassion for where my parents were, because I was, you know, abused in a lot of ways. But the woman I am today can tell you that my parents were lost. They were looking for answers, looking for someone to help them. And so this organization of people offered this, you know, wholesome way from the worldly temptations and the devil and all this up, you know, this safety nest is what they offered. So my parents took my little brother and myself, and we left all of our family and friends in California, moved to Alabama. And, you know, over the years, that situation became very abusive financially. Financial abuse, spiritual abuse, mental, you know, and then sexual abuse. You know, I was probably around four and a half or five when, you know, one of the elders had me come in his office and sit on his lap, and I was memorizing my Bible verses. And, you know, he started playing with my hair and singing songs, and he told me that I was special. And he did all the things that I never got at home. I loved it.

Yeah. And you know what that is you sharing that right now really takes me back to the time when I was about 8 years old and the sexual abuse started, because it was a very similar situation where you have someone that you think they're safe, like you think that person is safe and that you can trust them. And then I wanted to ask you in your gut, did you know that something. Did it feel icky? Did it feel like, this can't be right when it first started? Because I was told how special I was, I didn't get a lot of attention. You know, my mom is an incredible mom. She loved me, but she worked two jobs. She worked a lot, so she wasn't there a lot. And my dad, he did the best he could, but he wasn't really around. He wasn't in the picture. My parents were divorced, and so now I had this stepfather who bought me toys and who played with me and made me feel safe and gave me the love that I didn't really have. And then all of a sudden, that took a turn, and it was a similar situation to what you're describing. But did that feel right away? Were you like, wait a minute, this isn't right. Something's wrong with this?

Not right away, no. I mean, I think I was just so young, and it didn't feel weird right away, but pretty quickly, those special times together turned into something very confusing and very terrifying. And I actually had moments where I would pee my pants if I found out I was gonna go be with him.

Your body. Your body knows. Your body knows. Before our minds even can process things, your body knows. And that is. Wow. You would pee your pants?

Literally pee my pants? Yeah. And like you're saying, you know, before I even really registered what was going on, I just felt so much confusion and terror. And, you know, he knew I was a perfect target because I came from a shattered home, you know, and there was so much going on at my house with my mom and a multitude of other things. And I never told anybody. I just pulled my little Sunday dress down and acted like nothing happened. And in order to, you know, survive, I would drift off in my imagination. And that's where my coping. Poor coping. But where my coping skills began is an escaping pain and avoiding reality. You know, I learned and I perfected that art. So throughout the years of my life, that's all I've ever done is search for ways to escape myself. Different ways. All different ways. Eating disorders, addiction.

You know, I think a lot of people do that. I don't think enough of us are talking about this Because I certainly did the same thing. And mine at first was my escape was to do things to make me feel better. Like, I became an overachiever and got straight A's, and I was the fastest runner on the track team and set a state record. I became the best dancer at the dance studio. So my escape was. My default was to go do something and to run, because I would literally go for a run. And that was my escape. And when I couldn't do all those things is when it led me into doing other harmful things that took me down a road where I wanted to die. And now I know you have the eating disorders and then you know that drinking and the drugs. How old were you when you started? Instead of just thinking to as your coping mechanism to start to do and try other things to cope with your trauma, how old were you?

So I was 12 when I first. When I became an alcoholic, you know, I was an alcoholic from the first drink, for sure. You know, my alcoholism is not so much about how often you drink. It's about the obsession. So I was obsessed, literally 24 7, with. With alcohol from the first drink. It was the first piece I had ever known. And at that point in my life, at 12, I was becoming suicidal. I was having a lot of fantasies about just ending who I was. And I would lay, you know, in bed at night and just squeeze at my skin and till it was, like, red and bruised. And I just wanted to be somebody else, anybody else, you know, I felt so worthless. My mom didn't want to live for me. I was a filthy, dirty animal. From my childhood. I felt very much a participant. Never, ever felt like a victim. And that's what silence and secrets do, you know, turns you. And so I believe that alcohol may have saved my life at one point. It serves a purpose. It served a purpose in my life, you know, but then, as the story always goes, it ended up almost taking my life.

You know, it works until it doesn't, right?

Yes. It's a solution until it's the problem. Yeah, for sure.

I mean, because, like, you, for me, I remember when, you know, I drank occasionally, but I remember after my motorcycle accident and being diagnosed with this nerve disease, I was in constant pain. And when I was told it would be for the rest of my life, remember when I took a drink and it helped with the pain, and I thought, wow, well, I know this isn't the healthiest thing to do, but if this is how I have to live, if this is my solution, I'll just do it and I remember knowing that it wasn't right. But throughout the day I became obsessed with, I just need a drink to relieve me of this pain. And it worked. Until it didn't. So how old were you when you discovered, uh, oh, this is becoming a problem. Like how long did you drink before it became the problem?

You know, it became the problem probably, you know, around 15. I mean, that young of an age. Wow. Oh, yeah, I was, I dropped out of high school and ran away from home and lived in a, you know, flop house of grown men with underage runaway girls. And we did drugs and, you know, multitude of horrible things happened there until the police broke down the whole apartment and busted the whole place with helicopters and got us out of there. But I still, I had no value, I had no self worth. So I'm going to be honest with you, I was 34 when I actually got clean and sober for the final time. I really never looked at what was happening to me and thought, this is bad. I just kept running from myself. As I kept running from my childhood and my shame and then the wreckage I was causing in my own path, it just kept growing behind me and I just kept needing more and more and more and more, you know, and the more you don't face your pain, the larger it grows. And running from your pain, it will never work. You will never outrun it.

It'll always catch up with you. And in fact, that is when, gosh, I was in my 40s. No, I was in my 30s as well. It was after my motorcycle accident and I was stuck in the hospital bed And I realized for the first time how I had been running my whole life from pain. I'd been running from the abuse, from my abusive relationship with my ex husband, from my divorced from so many things. I had literally been running and stuffing it down and not dealing with it. And until we really step up and see eye to eye with that trauma, it's going to affect our relationships, our health, the way we view the world, our work. So if we're running for anything, there might be some people listening today that they're like, oh, well, I never went through that, or I never, you know, I never did. But what is it? And you know, ask yourself, what is it in your life that you are running from that you're not facing? Because you said it, it will always catch up to you. And it just grows and grows until we take a look at it. Well, what made you go ahead and finally take a look at what was going on at that traumatic experience?

Well, I think sobriety, for one. You know, I was so consumed in drugs and alcohol that it worked. And I kept the beast quiet, you know, and that's what I call my shame. It's a beast. It was a beast inside of me that, you know, filled every cell in my body by that time. And so when I got sober, you know, I was in a lot of pain and recovery. I mean, a lot, because the only tools I've ever really known were drugs and alcohol. Those were, you know, my go to. So when I removed those, it was like I was a raw, open mess. I don't even know how I hung onto that sobriety, but I just held on, you know, by the grace of God, you know, that I stayed. And I'm so grateful that I stayed. It became apparent to me all these nightmares and memories and PTSD and all this stuff was just coming up, and I just thought, I cannot live this way the rest of my life. Like, here I've saved. I've salvaged my physical life by sobriety, but now there's so much underneath that surface that is just boiling, and I cannot.

I have to go back a minute because there might be people listening, because I know for me, you know, I was drinking and hiding my drinking, and no one knew. My husband just retired, but he was a California Highway Patrol lieutenant. He used to arrest people who would drink and drive. I was hiding my drinking from him, from friends and family. No one knew how bad I was really hurting emotionally and physically, and I hit it. So there might be somebody listening that is struggling with, you know, they're maybe drinking too much. Maybe this is sparking them to think, oh, I'm drinking every day. Or the way I drink is I'm obsessed about it. I have one drink, and then I just want another one and another one. How did you get sober? What happened that allowed you to go, Enough is enough. I've got to get sober. And I know because you shared it when I heard you do your amazing talk because you're such an incredible speaker. But share with other people who might be thinking, I need to get sober. I just need help. How did you do that?

Well, I'm going to share my story, but you don't have to go down the road. I went. So. I happen to also be a heroin and meth addict, and I was homeless, you know, eating from garbage cans and, you know, talking to myself and like you'd see in a movie, that was me, you know, you guys, to see her.

I can see her beautiful face. It's an amazing transformation from where you were to you're sitting here. And no one would ever imagine just what you have been through, because you glow when people see you. Like, I want what you have. What is she doing? Because you're beautiful on the inside and out. I just had to share that with listeners so they go over and take a look at how gorgeous you are on your Instagram.

And I will be sharing my photos that I spoke with you about. But I just received a lot of booking photos from the times I was arrested, the times when I was absolutely wishing for death. And it is heartbreaking to see, you know, that it speaks to the power of recovery and the power of facing your pain. You know, that nobody is too far gone. So for me, you know, I ended up in prison, and I think it's very similar to you being in your hospital bed. I was stuck, okay? So I could not run. I couldn't get away from myself. I was forced to just sit with all this pain, you know? And I did use in prison and drink in prison, but it was a lot more, you know, fewer and further in between. But I remember halfway through my prison sentence, I had a divine intervention. You know, I don't know, a sensation came over my entire body, and I was looking out this window, and I had absolutely nothing to show for myself at 34, nothing. And I just felt and heard these four words all throughout my whole entire being. It just said, this is your life. And it finally, a tiny spark ignited in my heart that finally believed just a little bit, that I didn't want to die like that. At that point, I couldn't see much for my life in the future. I didn't think I was capable of very much. However, there was just something ignited in me that I just didn't want to die as a transient, you know, out in a field somewhere that someone's trying to figure out the identity of.

And, you know, that's all we need is that little spark of hope. Just that little spark. And once we find it, then we have to find ways of making it bigger ourself and by other people fanning our flames and igniting that spark even more. And that is what you have done, because to look at your life now, it's unbelievable, the transformation.

Yeah, it doesn't hit me all the time until I, you know, and I speak about this all the time, but I have to kind of look, take a step back and go, wow. Like, can I even believe this is my life today? I can't believe how I feel today. Which is the most important thing. I feel so free today. And, you know, I think for me, my faith is important. I think that my honesty is important. And just sharing, even when it's an embarrassing moment or maybe something, I'm nervous people are going to think, oh, you know, like, that's way out, you know, but if you look at the similarities, we are all so connected. You know, you and I may be completely different, you know, stories, or maybe we have similar parts, whatever, but the feelings underneath are the same. You know, maybe I was hiding in my bathroom looking for a vein. Ew, yuck. But maybe somebody else was hiding in their closet, you know, with their wine bottle before their husband got home. That feeling of shame is the same, you know, and none of us have to feel that way. That's my biggest mission, is just to encourage people to come out of that darkness, that you're not alone, that there's so many communities out there that people are just healing from so many things. It's just amazing to me.

Yeah, and I love that you talked about honesty, because the truth will set you free. And I remember when I started getting real honest about what was really going on, I felt like there was a weight lifted off of me. I could finally let go of that shame. And shame is a beast. And, you know, like I said, you encouraged me and inspired me. You do something on Fridays on your Instagram where you share women and their stories of recovery. And when you asked me, I was a little bit nervous because I hadn't talked about it much on my social media. And just sharing my story a little bit through social media, it made me feel a little more free. Here's the thing, though, I think that I get a question like, I recently had someone who went through a traumatic injury. They did try to commit suicide, and they wanted to be on the podcast and share their story, but they wanted to use an alias. And I said, here's the deal. You have to do so much recovery on your own and feel, really have a strong foundation before you can start to share it on bigger platforms. It took me years to really heal a lot of trauma, go to therapy, read books, take a look at what I was doing every day before I was able to share. So if anybody's listening, really start reaching out to someone that you feel like you can really trust to share, and I think that's really important. Or to find a 12 step program. I know for me, I needed a place that I felt safe to share. And little by little, I realized, oh, my gosh, I'M not alone. There are a lot of people out there that are feeling the same way that I am, and they recovered. So I know that I can, too. And I think that's what you really show people is that they can, that there's hope. You're a hope dealer. You went from drugs to being a hope dealer.

That's what. Yeah, right.

Yeah.

It's amazing.

How long were you confined to a jail cell?

Well, I was in prison for four years. So when I got out, I had been introduced to the 12 steps. You know, like I said, I was in and out of jail lots of times and sentenced to outpatients. And, you know, part of those is usually going to 12 steps. And I'd been introduced to 12 steps, you know, several times throughout my addiction. And when I got out of prison, I went back. And it is true that, you know, it's so important to find a group of women if you're a woman, you know, that you feel comfortable with, you know, and if you go to a meeting and you don't feel comfortable there, find another one. There's so many. A lot of people give it one try, and they're like, oh, I didn't. There was somebody there that was sharing horrible stuff. Well, find another one.

Yeah, find another one. That's so true. And, you know, I know for me also, when I finally summoned up the courage to ask for help, I reached out to somebody who I knew was in recovery, and I said, hey, I need help. And for me, there was so much shame behind that because I was sponsored by Nike at one time. I was a fitness trainer. I had trainers that worked for me. I went from that to all of a sudden drinking every day. I come from a family that there's a lot of addiction in, and I thought I was so different. Well, I wasn't. I ended up being exactly like them. You know, my baby brother is actually sitting on death row right now in Texas. His addiction and drugs, alcohol, led down that path. So, look, that didn't happen to me yet. You know, we all have an opportunity. It doesn't matter. You don't have to hit rock bottom where I did or where Jen did. You can start right now getting better. And I know the first person that I asked, because she was in recovery, she was a client of mine, and she said, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going to help you. I'm going to take you to a meeting. And I never got a call back from her. And so I waited, like a week, and I googled 12 step program. And I found a meeting that I could go to where I wasn't. You know, my husband wouldn't know about it.

Right, right.

School. And that was hard, but I found a meeting. So if you're struggling, if you ask somebody and they don't help you right away, there's always a way to figure it out. You can Google it, you can ask someone else. There's always a way. So don't let just because one person didn't help you, keep going, keep reaching out. And sometimes it's easier to ask for help to somebody you don't know very well. So whether they DM you on Instagram or DM me on Instagram, do something today if you're struggling. Like I said, when you talked about being in prison, it really hit home because of my baby brother. My other brother's been in and out of jail. And so I think by sharing your story, it really touches a lot of people because there are so many of us that even though we haven't been in jail, we know somebody who has. And so now, to look at you today, you've recovered. You have two beautiful children. Tell us about how you started to let go of that shame, how you did it, and how you started to build your life up step by step. Because that has led you to a path where you not only share it, but you wrote a book about it. When did you decide you wanted to write a book?

Well, I've always been a writer. I mean, I've always loved writing. As a young girl, I wrote a lot, you know, and I wish I had those journals. You know, being homeless for as many years I was, I've lost, like, everything. You know, I don't have any memorabilia. It's such a bummer. But I always wrote a lot. You know, my addiction. I actually lost the ability to read. I could not put words together, sentences together. And so part of, you know, my early recovery was learning how to read again. I literally had to relearn how to read, which is just mind blowing to me. And then.

That's amazing. That's unbelievable.

I had used so much and lived in, you know, the underworld for so long that, yeah, I really actually thought I was never going to be able to read again. It was very scary. But I did. I learned how to read again.

And how did you do that? Did you just, little by little, start to take one day at a time? Because I swear, even though our stories are different, they're so similar. It's like I had to learn how to walk again, right?

Exactly.

You had to learn how to read again.

I did. Slowly.

And how did you do that?

You want to know something really funny? So I actually did, like, hooked on physics. Did you? I like that. Secretly. Secretly, I did. And the picking up, you know, learning how to put the letters together again and then the words to make sentences, and then it was the reading comprehension. I would read something, and it'd be gone. I mean, my brain was just. You know, addiction affects your brain big time. It was embarrassing, and I didn't tell a lot of people. And I did it quietly, but slowly, you know, I started putting myself back together again. And, you know, my recovery has been a slow process. And I think that's important for people to know that that's okay. You know, not everybody, you know, heals super fast and is, like, celebrating two weeks in sobriety with, like, mocktails on the beach. Some of us are barely able to even get out of the bed. Some of us are crying our eyes out 24 7. I did a lot.

I cried, I think, because for so long, I didn't feel. I tried to shut those feelings down. And I was also made fun of by my stepfather when I would cry. And so I learned, and he would say, I gotcha. He would push me to the point, and then he'd say, yep, I knew I'd take you down. And so I learned to me that showing that vulnerability was weakness. And so for years, I didn't cry. And so when I finally got into recovery and began to feel the feels, it was like the floodgates were open. And I cried and cried and cried.

For sure.

I see people in recovery, and when people are able to put together a few sentences and share their story in a meeting, I'm blown away because I was a freaking mess.

Me too.

I was a long time.

I always tell. I always say, Google Image Golem from Lord of the Rings. That is, like, lit. I promise you that is exactly how I looked and felt for the first few years. And I think that that's more common than not. And I think that it's okay. And, you know, everyone needs to really walk through it. There's no way around it. And I've learned so much in these eight and a half years I've been in recovery. And the biggest lesson I've learned is that the power to heal our lives is in the pain that we're so desperate to avoid. And so sitting with pain is not always fun, but the freedom that comes after it is so, like, intoxicating. It's its own Intoxication that for me, I never, ever want to try and shove down pain again because I've experienced the after, you know, what happens after the glow up. And so, you know, I've sat with a lot of pain and it took me a few years to really travel back through my life. You know, I worked the steps and I went through my wreckage and of my own wreckage and then explain what

the steps are, because there may be people that are listening that are struggling and they don't know what the steps are. We speak the same language, but there may be people listening that are like the steps. Well, what are the steps? And how do I get the steps? Like, I honestly wish that Everybody could do 12 steps. I think the world would be a better place because it really teaches you to be a better person in society.

For me, the 12 steps is all about self reflection and self awareness. And I got, man, I'm a self reflection, you know, junkie. I love that. That's my jam. And they actually have, I've seen it on Amazon, a 12 steps for everybody book.

They do.

They actually. Somebody wrote a 12 steps for everybody. And I agree. You know, I personally love the 12 steps. And there's smart recovery, refuge recovery, celebrate recovery. There's all kinds of communities. For me, I did go to AA and I worked the steps, which is just, you know, you're learning to admit that you have a problem and then, you know, surrender and accept help and you work through, you know, the wreckage. A lot of us do things that we're not proud of in our addictions and our maybe, you know, hurt people's feelings financially, our children, whatever it happens to be. And I went through all that and I felt, you know, a ton better. But there was always heaviness in me. You know, every time I travel back through my life, I end up on the floor in front of my mom's bedroom, door closed door. Even past the sexual abuse, it always ends up, you know, the mom issue, the mother wound, the hole in my heart that's shaped as my mother. And I was like, you know, I became pregnant with my son and I was terrified that I was going to be a mom like my mother. And I had no idea how to be a mother. I never seen it. It's not something I grew up with. And I had a multitude of other fears from being sexually abused. And anyways, it really pushed me to dig super deep into my mother wound and into my childhood. And I just didn't want my children to suffer the way I had suffered. And I still do a lot of inner child work and inner child healing. And I do meditation on a picture of myself as a little girl. And I close my eyes and I imagine that she's there. And I pick her up off the floor and I hold her and I twirl her in the sunshine and I tell her she is perfect and love and light and capable and that none of that is her fault anymore. It never was her fault. And that she doesn't have to be afraid anymore. Together we can walk through anything. I do this every morning to this day.

I remember the first time I went back and looked at my inner child. I had somebody walk me through, like, a trauma healing, and they walked me back to that time I just broke into. And I think it's so important that we all heal that inner child so we can step forward with strength and the parent that I always wanted. You know, I said, my mom is a good mom. My dad's a good guy. They just did the best they could with the tools that they had.

Exactly.

And, you know, the. And I've healed my relationships with my dad. My stepfather actually passed away of testicular cancer, of all things.

I remember you told me that.

Isn't that crazy?

I hate to clap, but it's amazing, right? Karma.

Yeah. Well, I just. All that you have overcome and, you know, you showed me the picture of your mug shot before we started the podcast.

I will be posting. Yes.

And it's just so inspiring. And you are changing lives. You're giving women the courage to step out of that shame, and you're giving them hope that they can have the life that they have always imagined. So thank you for that. Your book is beautiful. How can people best get in touch with you?

So, you know, I do a lot on Instagram and Resurrection of Me is my name everywhere. Facebook, Twitter. I even have a Pinterest. Yeah, I'm like, you know, and I am working on my website now, so that'll be coming. This is. I just wrote my book. I just published it like eight months ago. So I'm like, slowly, you know, I'm writing a second book.

I know you'd said you're working on other books. And that is amazing because writing a book is not easy. It wasn't easy for me anyway. It took me two years to write my book. How long did it take you to write your book?

Well, you know, my book is like a short read, and I kind of intentional. I'm going to have a book of five short reads that'll come together like A series. And it's just going to be all about my healing process. And it took me about, you know, a year to write it. And then, you know, the whole editing process and the book cover, and, you know, I'm like, I'm from the streets, okay? Like, you know, you're talking to me about, like, PDFs, and I'm like, what? You know, But I've learned so much, you know, I mean, I could actually build a website now. It's like, wow.

Well, that in itself is inspiring because, like you said, you're from the streets. For me, when I decided to write my book, I had to buy a computer because I was from the gym floor or the dance floor. You know, I never. And I remember the first time I had to send a picture through email, and I was using my husband's laptop, and I was like, how do you attach a picture to an email? I had no idea. And he's like, oh, my God, what do you want now? You don't know how to do that? So I went out and bought my own computer, took a class at Apple, and I'm still trying to figure things out. And so I just.

Yeah.

And I want people to know. It is figureoutable. You can figure it out. If I can learn how to do a podcast. You can learn how to do anything.

For sure, man. I'm telling you, for sure. I mean, I Google to this day sometimes. I got my phone. I got my laptop in front of me and my phone here, Googling how to do this. I even Googled how to breathe through contractions for my daughter. I was in the hospital bed. How to breathe through contractions. I mean, man, I reach out anywhere, anytime.

My husband Googled limb salvage. He actually Googled limb salvage. And he found my doctor. Because I had that 1% chance of saving my leg, he found a doctor that was willing to try to save it by Googling limb salvage.

And so I'm telling you, it's amazing. What?

Yeah, it's crazy.

And that I think it's such a beautiful time to get into recovery or to start healing, because no matter what it is that you're struggling with, you can Google it or you can put it in the search bar on Instagram or Facebook. You will find communities of women or men or whatever everywhere for every single thing. And you will never be alone or in the dark about it. And it's so beautiful, you know? I mean, if you're struggling with anything, please DM me. I answer every single one. I'm not a therapist. Yet. Although I'd like to go back to school. I will.

I know you will, because you.

I will. Yeah.

Yeah.

But I can refer you. I have, like an enormous community and, you know, I can refer you to so many people that can help you, you know, please, Like, I always thought I had to do things by myself and hide my mess because it was too ugly for anyone to look at and that almost killed me. I just wish, and I want to encourage every woman, every person to just have a little courage and reach out to somebody, even quietly, because you do not have to hide your mess because your mess is what is going to free you.

It's going to be your message.

It is going to be your message. Exactly. Amen. Boom. That was it right there. Yep. For sure.

Well, thank you for sharing that because I really think there are so many people out there that do hide how bad it really is or how much pain they're really in emotionally or physically. The trauma that they're trying to, you know, stuff down. And you give people hope. And thank you so much for taking the time to be on the show, especially. Look, you guys, we're recording this. It's Saturday morning at 7 o' clock in the morning and she said yes to being on the show. So thank you so much, you guys. Please read her book. It is the shape of a woman and it's amazing. It will give you hope and it will show you you're not alone and that you can thrive no matter what circumstances are thrown your way, that you can rise above it. So, Jen, thank you so much for being on the show.

Thank you so much for having me. I adore you to pieces. Seriously.

Oh, I love you, girl. You are my soul sister and I hope to see you soon.

Yes. Thank you.

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