The Power of the Mind: Staying Positive & Motivated with Dale Smith Thomas

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Hey there.

Thank you so much for tuning in to True Grit Grace. I'm Amberly Lago and I have one of my dear friends on the show today. We've known each other for a while. I've never got to meet her face to face, but we know each other heart to heart and it was instant connection. I have Dell Smith Thomas on the show today and I can't wait for you to hear her story and learn from her wisdom. She's an international professional speaker. She speaks all over the world. She's a best selling author. I have her book right here. Good morning gorgeous. It's discovering your gorgeousness from the inside out and it's one of the best books I'VE read in a long, long time. I've got so many pages turned and highlights and we're going to get into that. She, she's often called the Hope Dealer. She is a bright light. She's appeared on so much media. She's been a guest expert on Dr. Phil. She's featured on CMT, VH1, Fox. I mean the list goes on and on. Plus she's former Miss Tennessee.

That got out.

It got out. It got out. I know that. Cats out of the bag. Former Miss Tennessee. Dale, thank you so much for being here. It's so good to see your beautiful face. Your gorgeous face, right?

Oh, thank you. Gorgeous. I wish I could climb through this screen and hug your neck and you know, you know, I love the word grit and we say grits here in the South. Girls raised in the South. That's right. But I love true grit and grace and because I admire you so much and all the work that you're doing and I'm just honored that we get to share this time together. And I always believe, believe when like minded spirits come together like ours, that we've been brought together for a divine purpose. And I know somebody that's out there listening to us today, there's something that we have to share with them that's going to make a difference. And I know that's what it's about for both of us.

Yes, for sure. Well, you add value everywhere you go. And there was so much value in your book. Like I really enjoyed it and one of the things I really loved about it is that it was easy to read first of all. And there are so many quotes and there are takeaways. There's like, I, I look, I've got pages turned down.

I love it. I love it.

Yes. I love it.

I wrote it like that. Yeah. That you will notice in the book there's lines to write because I'm sure you do. Like I do so many of my books. I'm writing in the margin. Then I read a book and I highlight it in a color but then I go back and read it again and I highlighted in a different color because when you grow and expand, that same book is going to speak to you in a different way.

Do you know I do the same thing?

Of course you do.

I do. You do. I mean, look, I've got my highlighters right here. Yes, I do this. I do the same thing. So it doesn't surprise me. But you know what surprised me a little bit is because you're just stunningly gorgeous and you said there was a time in your life where you didn't really feel that gorgeous. You were, like, skinny and all. And I have to share something with you that I admire, that you were in pageants in Miss Tennessee. Because my mom, bless her heart, I was such a tomboy. And she really wanted me to be girly. And she put me in this pageant. And I had buck teeth and curly, frizzy hair. I was so skinny. And I was not. I was not very pretty at all. Let's.

Well, I. That is so hard for me to believe. And I was actually Mrs. Tennessee, Mrs. With my starter husband. That's a positive way to say x. I was Mrs. Tennessee. And during those teenage years, in my early 20s, I. I was so awkward and so shy and so insecure, there was no way I could compete. I tried a couple of times, never could make it. But one of the reasons I ended up competing later is that my best friend growing up, who is actually my piano teacher when I was a teenager, who was my first mentor to teach me about goals and dreams and attitude and faith and believing. She was crippled in a car accident, age 11, was told she would never walk again. But in 1980s, she walked the Runway as Miss America. And, oh, my goodness, she was my piano teacher. They had been in a car accident. The motor came in on her lap. She'd gone through the windshield. In my little tiny town, they had stitched her up. No plastic surgeries on, surgeons on call down there in that little town. But when I came into her life, she was that mentor, that bright light that kept telling me when I would say I couldn't do something. She said, I learned how to walk again. God has a bigger plan for me. And so she started dripping that truth into me. So fast forward 10 years later, I was honestly trying to stay home and raise my baby. And I was trying to teach girls how to have a transparent, authentic interview in pageants. And they kept saying, how can you teach us anything? You ain't never won anything. And I'm like, really? That was with your outside voice. And so they said, well, why don't you enter the Mrs. Tennessee pageant? I'm like, there's one for married women with kids. And so the first year I competed 56 women in the state pageant. I made the top 10. That was it. Second year, I came in second runner up.

And then how old were you?

I was 29. I won at 30. I won 30 with a baby. And, you know, that's how my speaking career started. People started asking me to Speak. And honestly, I was just trying to increase my fee from $20 an hour to 25. That's all I was trying to do. And I thought if I could win the title, I could increase my fee and stay home with my baby. And I ended up winning. And, you know, I said, God has a sense of humor. She was 1980. I was 1990. I didn't win the big sparkly hat at the national, but that was the year I started speaking. People would say, well, can you tell your story about growing up poor and being insecure? And so I started telling stories, and I leaned in and said yes. And I want to encourage those of you that are listening to us. You know, of course I was scared, but I just leaned in and said yes, even though I didn't have any idea what I was doing. And now, all these years later, as you said, you know, I consider this not just my career. It's my calling, just like it is for you. You. And when you step out into a calling, you just have to face that fear and believe that. I believe that every time I speak, there's at least one person that is sent there to hear that message, because I'm just the messenger.

Wow. So that's how your speaking career started. Well, I know that we have a lot of listeners that. That dream of speaking and sharing their message, because I believe everybody has a story, and there's always something to teach and. And there's always something to learn from every single person. So what you suggest to someone who wants to become a speaker.

Well, you know, through the years, of course, through the last 25 years, I've been asked that question so much. And the first thing I say is, sit down and write 20 minutes of your story. And remember, the stories sell and facts tell. And I was a storyteller, and I didn't know anything about this industry. I didn't know anything about this industry when I first got into it. And so I just encourage people. You've got to find that quiet time, and you've got to get to know yourself first. And then I feel that you just have to bring that to the stage, you know, with authenticity. Because when I step on a stage, people ask me if I'm nervous because I've spoken to, you know, audiences of 15,000, but the answer is no. I'm excited because I feel like I'm giving them a gift. Now, if I'm there to take an evaluation or trying to get something from that audience, yes, I think you would be afraid. But if you are wanting to speak and share your story. You just have to realize that that is your gift that you're giving. And what they do with that gift is up to them, not up to you.

That's so true. Do you know who Dan Clark is?

Of course I do.

I was landing in Arizona. I'd written on this sticky note to call Dan. And as soon as the plane landed, my phone started banging. My first message was from Dan.

Of course it was.

And I said, wow, you won't believe this. I said, I'm on the plane. You popped in my head. And I wrote myself a message to reach out to you. And he said, what are you doing? I said, I'm speaking at an event in Arizona. He said, I'm in Arizona. Like, I can't remember where. I was there. And he said, can I come see you speak? And I was like, sure, yeah, come on. You know, I didn't know if he'd really show up. It was a women's event, right? Sure enough, Dan's walking backstage, and my heart just started, like, pounding because he's. He's somebody I really admire and respect. And if y' all don't. Well, Dan's been on the show, so if you listen to the show, you probably already know who he is, but he's amazing. He's an incredible speaker. And he's like, yep. He goes, of course I'm gonna show up to cheer you on and hear you speak. And I was like, oh, my gosh, I'm so nervous now. And he's like, oh, well, then that just means you're thinking about yourself and you should be thinking about the people that you're speaking to. And I was like, okay, you're right. Gosh. And I was like, no, it was. And he was right. I was thinking about, like, oh, my gosh, Dan is gonna be, like, critiquing me. He's gonna be watching me. He's here to watch me. And it put it all eyes on me. And I was like, I had to go to the bathroom and pray. And then I did some push ups. And then I got on stage and did my talk. But yeah, it's so. It's when you can shift it and say that you're excited and you can focus on. You're there to serve and give a gift, right? And share your experience, strength, and hope. Then it just. It really does shit.

This postcard around the world, and it's your words, change your world. And I've handed out tens of thousands of these. And in fact, just the other Day I got, I saw a Chinese version of it used up, and a girl that had been in my audience in China had rewritten it in Chinese. But it says, I'm not angry, I'm disenchanted. I'm not nervous, I'm energized. I'm not stressed out, I'm blessed out. And I'm not overwhelmed. I'm just in demand. Just so little tweaks of those, you know, those words that we're speaking, but also those little voices that we're talking to ourselves. And you and I both know in this world that we live is travel all the time, it's sometimes very easy to feel overwhelmed. I did three, I did three gigs in three different cities in under 24 hours about a week ago.

Oh my goodness. I did three gigs in three different states in a week. And I was like, oh, my God.

I know. I kept saying, I'm in demand. I'm in demand. And I keep saying, this is what I prayed for. Because Covid wiped out my business, you

know, on the road.

I was 60. I didn't know that if I wanted to start over, you know, and climb that climb again and, you know, every single morning. So if you're listening to me right now, every Single morning at 5am I get up without an alarm clock. You don't have to do that. That's just what I do. And then I journal, I pray, I meditate, I read and do all that highlighting. But I heard in my head, Covid could take a career, but it can't take a calling. And so I knew I wasn't done. I knew that as long as I woke up with this passion of making a difference, that there was somebody out there that needed to hear what I had to share. And so now in 2023, it's coming, it's coming back. It is really.

It is. Do you know, I really feel like, so 2020, I got every. A lot of my events. Well, all of my in person events were canceled, but a lot of them turned into virtual. And then I got super, super, like, schedule was packed full of virtual events. And I actually had a moment where I was like, you know, I. I said, God, I don't know if this is for me because I. I got into speaking because I like to connect with people and I was doing a lot of events looking at myself talking into a camera.

Exactly.

And I really thought, I thought, you know, I don't know if this is for me. I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I'm cut out for this. I'm not feeling a connection. I'm not. You know, the very next phone call I got was to go do my first in person event, smaller event in Florida. And I was like, okay, thank you, God. And I feel like when we get take time to ourselves, to. To meditate, to journal, to pray, to talk, I talk to God that we get those answers that we need. But I love that you say that Covid could take a career, but not a calling. And I. I do feel like 20, 23, the events are back on full force. Like it.

It's. They are. And those of you that go and hear speakers, please don't shy away from going up and letting someone know that their message has touched your life, because those are the things that keep us rolling. We're in the middle of nowhere trying to change planes and get to the next gig. It's knowing that these messages make a difference. I was just in Columbia, South Carolina, a couple of weeks ago. I was the closing keynote after a full day. It was real estate agents after a full day. And I knew that these people, people are tired. So I went in early to meet and talk to people and. Because it's the relationships that matter. And a woman told me afterwards, she said, I came back in to get my purse. She said, and girl, you stopped me in my tracks. And God said, you better sit down. This is for you. And it just gave me chills. And she came and told me that she's now going to pursue this dream that she's had in her heart just from hearing the story. And all of you that are listening right now, you have a story. And if you are feeling this prompt to speak, number one, don't let fear rob you. Do not do it. That's just. Don't do that. Do not let fear rob you. Just turn that fear into faith and walk into it. And then don't let somebody's opinion of you be your reality ever. And if somebody said, you know, especially in a pageant, like, oh, my gosh, you're doing a pageant. You're 30, you're a mother. Why would you do that? All that negativity, you've got to tune that out and listen to your heart and your direction, wherever you call it, God, you call that direction and you walk and you stop letting somebody else's opinion of you be your reality.

Amen to that. I mean, I can't tell you how many times, and some people that are very, very close to me, you want to write a Book, then you want to be a speaker. Like, can you even make money doing that? And I was like. Well, I didn't even think about that part.

I didn't.

I didn't think about that part. I was just like. Like, you said it. For me, it was a calling. Like, when I can connect with people and I hear them say, because of you, I didn't give up. But let's get back to you being called the Hope Doctor, because you know what my nickname was?

What?

The Hope Dealer.

Oh, my. Of course.

It was the Hope Doctor and the Hope Dealer.

Here we go. We're gonna go on tour, y'. All. Y' all just better look out, because these two blondes may be out. We may roll this out together.

That's right.

I got a letter from an audience member that told me how important the message had been to her. And she wrote me this beautiful letter. And at the very end, it said, P.S. your name should read Dale Smith Thomas, Ph.D. the Hope Doctor. Here's how I define hope. Helping other people excel. And so that's. That's what I do, and that's what you do. And that's what anybody listening to us. You can be a Hope Dealer. You can be a Hope Doctor just by speaking life to someone today or making that phone call and say, are you okay? Or making that. Good morning, gorgeous came because I challenged women to get up and tell five other women, good morning, gorgeous. And just last week, I happened to be there the second day on a speaker's panel, and a sweet woman came to me. She said, I text all of my friends and family this morning and said, good morning, gorgeous. This is what I just got back. Has your phone been hacked? Because people are not expecting that. And I. You know, I hear that so many times. People like you are not gonna believe the response I got, but when people do that. Good morning, gorgeous. Good morning, champion. We speak life to each other. It lifts us all up, and collectively, we together make a difference.

It's so true. If you can just spread some kindness and positivity and, you know, I. I smile at people when I see them strangers in the market or at the post office. And when you see somebody that doesn't smile back, I just know that they really need an extra dose of some. Some. Some love and light and maybe a little Jesus on them. So I really make sure. Just say hello. You know, just. Boy, they really need some of it. So, I mean, I know you see

those people as you travel, as I do, you know, these people in their minds, over the Plane not flying on time. And I'm thinking, you know, losing your mind is not going to make this plane fly any faster.

I know.

You've just ruined your own day.

I know.

That is what I had to learn because I was that negative child. And the reason I can speak so passionately about this, because I was this. You know, I grew up in a very. We didn't have hardly any money growing up. I grew up out in the middle of nowhere. I was shy, I was insecure. We weren't talking about what I was going to do, you know, for a life. My mother just wanted me to get a husband. By the time I graduated high school, well, I lived too out, far out in the country. No boy was coming after me. So I was all of that. And so I had to do the work to reprogram all of that negativity. And I did that by reading the books. I remember the very first book I ever read was Seeds of Greatness by Dennis Waitley and Seeds of Weight and Greatness. And I went on to meet Dennis years later, which was just, you know, so amazing. And Zig. And I've been on the program with Zig. And I started to just overdose, basically, on all of those old classics. The Magic of Thinking Big. I don't know if you know that book by David Schwartz, and it's old. And all of those books. And then I started changing the people that I was around because those who do not increase you will decrease you.

That is important right there. And I can. Oh, I can see. Well, I feel a difference. I am very sensitive to energy. I mean, energy is everything, and everything is energy. And I think that when you are around people who are energy vampires, they're negative. They complain. It brings you down. It physically, like, weighs me down. In fact, I was just speaking at an event, and I had someone come over and they knew I had crps, and they were asking me about. I mean, I was on a high. I had just gotten off stage. I had hugged some people. I was, like, feeling so good, so good. And they came over and they literally pulled. They were pulling down on my arm and at the same time complaining and talking about pain. And I could feel, like, heavy, heavy, heavy. And I had to literally kind of pull my arm away and, like, stand up straight and then go, oh, my goodness, how can I love on her? But also protect my energy? Because can it makes a difference? But also, Dale, if you have somebody that wants to be positive or you. You have somebody in your life that you wish that person your Friend or whatever could be positive. Or maybe it's a parent, maybe it's a relative that you're like, gosh, I wish they could be positive. How do you get them to make that shift? Because if you can, you know, you talk to them, you try to shift their mindset. Do you slip one of those books in their mailbox? Because I feel like you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink it.

You can't. I think everything comes down to one thing. It's a choice.

I.

You know, I believe that the formula for success is circumstances plus choices, equal results. And this little circumstance piece is always up for grabs. We control very little of that, but we choose how we react to it. And, you know, my mother is 86 years old and has always been very negative, and she will admit it. And, you know, we got into a discussion just a few weeks ago when I was visiting her at the nursing home, because I bring her back to her choices, and she's like, you've been telling me that for years. And I said, and guess what? I love you. And I'm going to keep telling you. And she said, I'm 86 years old. I'm too old to learn. I said, no, you are not. That is simply a decision. And so I lovingly just keep dripping it there. But I know that I have to release the result. And I also.

That's key. That's so good.

Release it. You got to bless them with love. Release them and let them go. And you bless them with love. You release them and let them go. And when I find myself with people where the negativity is hard and I feel that energy drain, I do like you. I switch it really fast. I switch the conversation. I get out of it, and I start making my exit plan. Because I didn't know that for a long time. I start retreating.

Yes, I saw you. I started making that exit plan, but I didn't know that for a long time either.

And.

And then I started really, it's okay.

It's okay. Those of you, it's okay to do that. It is okay to do that, because if you are completely drained by other people, then you've got nothing left to give.

That's what will happen.

Refill your vessel. You have got to refill it. You cannot run on empty, just like your car can't run on empty. And we've got too many people trying to run on empty. And we're not getting quiet and we're not being still, and we're not Listening to our inner guidance that will prompt us and lead us. And that's why I journal. Do you know the book by Julia Cameron, the Artist Way?

Yeah, I have that book.

I picked that book up in 1998.

I have that book. Somebody told me to buy that book when I was writing my book, and

it talks about censorship, and so I got into this process. She will ask you to get up and just roll onto the page, just stream whatever you're thinking. And if it's, I don't want to do this and I hate it and it sucks, then you write that. And when you get past. She wants three pages, once you got to get past that second page of griping, then the truth starts to present itself. And then you start to really kind of meet yourself and listen to the direction. And I think it's in those quiet moments that the path will light up before you. And, you know, because I grew up negative and believing so many things, I believe it was Esther Hicks I heard say, a belief is just a thought. You continue to think. And those negative voices in my head about myself was a belief I created because it was the thought I continued to think. So I'm going to challenge those of you who are listening to us. Ask yourself, what is the thought I'm continuing to think? And is that lifting me higher? Is that making. Helping me be a better person? Is that helping me pursue my dream, or is it bringing me down? Well, maybe you need to start to challenge that belief system about yourself.

Oh, that's so good. I love that. You know what? This is a really good reminder for me, Dale, that I used to journal. I started journaling when I was, like, 8 years old.

Me too, girl. The little. The little diary with a little baby lock.

Yes. Yeah, I still have one of those. I have a stack of journals, like. But I've. I've been out of the habit of journaling lately.

It'll be a loving hug, sister hug to push you back to that.

Yes, that's. I'm getting back to that because it really does. There's something very healing, very cathartic when you put pen to paper.

It is. It's very therapeutic. And. And let me say to those of you that are listening, make that your private space, because no one has the right to read your journals without your permission. Because in order for you to be free, you have to know that it's between you and you and God and that you have to be able to be free to express yourself so you can listen. So just know that. Take care of that space. Honor yourself, honor the direction that you're given, and then follow through with that.

Yeah, it's very sacred. I. I mean, sacred. Very sacred. In fact, I, you know, journaled every single day. And I remember an ex boyfriend of mine. This is years ago because my husband and I have been together for, like, 17 years, but an ex boyfriend read part of my journal, and I felt, like, violated. Violated.

You may have.

Well, you may as well have, like, my car or my house.

Exactly.

Had been broken into deeper than that. Like, the trust level was gone.

Yes.

And I remember after that, I did not journal for a long time after that. And then I started journaling again. And I would write it in, like, the worst chicken scratch. Writing to where. Yes. So no one else could see it or read it or understand it, but. And it wasn't even like, oh, I would ever go back and read it. I just needed to get it out. I just needed to have. It was like therapy for me and that such.

And. And I'm so glad you said that, because it's happened to me, too. And the emotional violation felt. It's like somebody has come into the temple and, you know, brought their dirty feet into the temple, and it violated your space without your permission. And it feels. It's just such a strange feeling. So that's why I say to anybody that's honoring this practice. And it is a practice. It's my spiritual practice. And it's the way that I listen is the way that I process. Just protect that sacred space. And then in turn, you will protect yourself, and then you will also expand and grow. And I go back sometimes when I'm just writing without censoring. So that's where it has to get to, where it's coming through you onto the paper, not your brain saying what you're writing, but it's coming through you. And some of the guidance that I have received after going back, you know, three or four or five days later,

I'll go back and go, I wrote.

And it was something that felt that I knew came from a higher place. And it's a very divine and sacred. So I'm going to be your soul sister and say, I am going to encourage you and love you back to your journal. And my sister.

Okay, thank you. Because I take that quiet time in the morning, and I had just let other things get in the way of the journaling part. But you inspired me.

That's the easiest thing. But you know what? I've done it so long now, so consecutively and consistently that I feel it in my soul when I'm not doing it. I feel it. It's just like I feel it when I'm not going to the gym, you know, and I'm not working.

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, this is kind of that soul workout feeling that I feel it when I don't do it. So I'm telling you guys, if you want to speak, if you want to write, I believe one of the best places to start is right here with that journal, with yourself, listening to your soul, and ask yourself, what's my story? What's my story? And who out there needs to hear my story? And just start leaning into it.

It.

Lean into it.

That's so great. I, you know, and. And I want. Want to encourage you listening, too, that, you know, if somebody like me, who has no college education, I didn't even own a computer. I hand wrote 90 of my book, and it became a bestseller and launched on the Today Show. If I can do that, you can do anything. Like, like, seriously. And the only. What I did was I just made sure I was consistent and I wrote every single day, even if it was a paragraph. But you know what? After I went and bought my first laptop, I started trying to type the chapters, and it wasn't coming out the same, so I went back to handwriting because it just came out differently. But, yeah, if you want to write a book, if you want to speak, start writing. That's such good reminder.

I encourage people, too, because a lot of times people will write their speech down on a piece of paper. You know, they'll write it out. But I also believe that writing and talking are two different things. So I encourage people to grab the recorder on your phone and just start, authentically start sharing, because so many times, especially for me, and I'm sure you're the same way. You know, people will say, you know, I don't. I don't do slides. I don't do any of that. I've never done the speech the same way twice because the spirit's leading in a different direction. And sometimes I'll say something and the audience will go, oh, I'm like, okay, I have no idea what I just said. So will somebody please write that down and text it to me? Because that was really good.

That is so good.

Yeah. And so I just. You've got to let it through.

You. I have to ask you. Okay, So I don't really enjoy using slides.

I don't use any.

Thank you. Okay. Because I have this big event coming up.

Just don't.

And they're like, we need slides by today. And I'm just like, I've got some. I could send them.

But don't do it. Listen, I've done so much work in health care, and I remember because that, you know, trying to fit into the mold kind of thing. I remember the first time a hospital said, okay, we need your slides. And I was kind of silent. And I said, well, I just need you all to know I don't have any. And there was silence for a second. And then I heard somebody say, oh, I am so glad. And then, I mean, someone said that to me. The meeting planner said, thank you for not having slides. He said, because it's like this when you're in a restaurant having dinner, especially with a man, and there's a TV on. I don't care if they're interested in it or not.

They're going to look. Yeah.

And they're not listening. And so I want an audience to have this co creative experience with me, to be in the present moment with me, because the point of power is in the present moment. And first of all, I wouldn't. I would look the first. No, I tried to use one slide. It was a picture of my kid. And I'd never used a clicker before. This was for a hospital up in Illinois. And I had the clicker in my hand and I was talking because I talked with my hands. Threw the thing across the room and hit the floor. The batteries busted out and went everywhere. One of the. One of the executives of the hospital is on his knees trying to find the batteries. I'm sitting, said, I said, I'm gonna go on with what I'm doing. When you get that thing put back together, hand it back to me. And so they were dying, but I made it a fun moment. But I thought, you know what? I just need to stay away from that. I just need to.

Yes. That is so funny. And you know what? I think it's really important that you're able to kind of roll with the punches, sort of say. Because, like, I was in the middle of a talk and it was the first time I ever had to put my own headset on. Usually somebody kind of helps you a little bit.

Yeah.

And I'm not real good at that kind of stuff. So I'm like, okay, let me figure this out. I put it on and I guess I really wasn't very good at doing it because I'm in the middle of my talk and it just falls out. And it falls out. And I just, I. I rolled with it and put it right into my talk and. And people were laughing. But I think that when you can just be yourself and get up there, I feel the same way. I like connecting with the audience.

Absolutely. That's the.

That's the reason I speak. That, you know.

You know, you and I are not giving book reports. We are giving stories and life stories, and we can see these faces, and it may trigger something, you know, a story that needs to be told that maybe we didn't really plan to tell, but God said, this is where you go, and you are willing to take that, to take that leap. But I. I realized that If I've got 16 slides and I can't venture off my path if the slides are this or that, and it's just not who I am. And I wasn't sure that corporately, you know, that they were all going to push back, but nobody has.

That's good to hear.

They are very grateful now because also, Amberly, this happens, too. If I'm closing an event, which I remember doing this in Minneapolis, I was closing a healthcare event. All the speakers were going long. They were trying to get people out the door for their flight. So I went to the guy that was who was also a speaker, and I said, hey, what do you want me to do? And he said, what do you mean? I said, well, from where I sit, this Last speaker is 20 minutes long, and you need them out by 4. Do you want me cut this to like, 40, 35 minutes? He looked at me like I was an alien. He goes, you can do that? I said, sure. He's like, you can do that on the fly. I said, on the fly. Because this is about connecting and real. And it's important to me that we honor them, because every time we step on the stage, it is a privilege and it is an honor to be on that platform to share with this audience. And I am not going to overstep that in any way.

And I feel the same. I'm right there with you.

Just say no.

Yeah, just say no.

Yes.

Well, hey, I. I really appreciate your time. We only have a few more minutes, and I really want.

Wow, that fast. Amberly.

That's how it was when I first. I think the first and even the second time I talked to you, it was. First time on the phone, we were talking, it was like, oh, my gosh, it's been two hours. No, I have some questions about your book because.

Okay. Go, girl.

Such good, good information. I love that you use acronyms, and I love that you call them Your. Not chapters, but there's seven gifts. Or there's, you know, or principles. Yeah, yeah.

Other gifts. Yep. I thought they were.

They're gifts. And so I want to go. Not necessarily. We don't have time to go over all seven. Y' all will have to grab her book for that. And then you can. There's even places that if you want to start journaling in her book, you could do that too. But I love something that you say. Beauty is the opposite of perfection. It's about confidence, character, and charisma. So how do you take someone who maybe doesn't feel confident, who maybe doesn't feel gorgeous, and you're like, they want to. They wanna. They wanna feel good. They. They might even want to walk on stage. They want to share their story, but they don't. They lack that. How. What do you do? How do you help them?

Exactly what I had to do, because I was all of that. I didn't believe any of that. If you would have seen me at 15, 18, 20, when I had my eating disorder, there was no way. I thought everybody else got those gifts, but not me. My hair was too big, my lips were too big, my eyes were too big. I was too skinny, I was too tall. I was all the wrong things. But the first thing I had to do is I had to start changing that inner dialogue. And I believe, you know, I had to really get honest and say, you know, God put me on this planet for a purpose. Who am I to disc. Discredit his work by being so horrible to myself? And so start writing out these things that you were telling yourself and ask yourself, is this really true? Is this really true? And start doing that deep dive. And again, I go back to journaling and I would ask myself, what am I feeling right now? Why do I believe this? And get to some more truth? And then go to a couple people that you really, really trust and ask them to tell you the truth. And then don't disrespect them by telling them it's not true. Women, especially when we give each other compliments, we give them back, you know, your hair looks great, girl. No, I need to get it cut. It's so bad. I'm turning gray. Or, you know, you look so great in that outfit, girl. I've had this 10 years. Got that Walmart 15. I mean, we discredit it. Somebody gives you a gift of a compliment, say thank you, and absorb it, and start to change this negative chatter in your head and start to slowly change that belief. And I promise You. I am living proof that it works. I am 63, almost 64 years old, and I have done it. It is an ongoing journey though, ladies and men. This is not something you just graduate a class you graduate from. As Jim Rohn says, this is a class you just have to keep going back to.

Yeah, I. It's so true. Because there are days when I'm like,

gosh, I feel so good.

Right? I feel so. I'm confident. And then other days I'm like, oh, my gosh.

Yep.

Am I gonna get through this?

And you know what? That age of comparison, I think, which is very easy in our, in our industry, if we start looking at other people and comparing yourself to someone else into their success or how many books they've done or how many gigs they're doing or how pretty they are. Comparison is the thief of joy. It will rob you. It will rob you. So stop it. So stop it.

It's so true. And, and also, I think it's important that you shift from. If you are looking at someone and you're like, wow, look at how much they're doing. And, oh, their books, best selling or, oh, they got booked to speak on that stage, you go, wow, if they did it, I can do it too. When you're happy for their success and you look at them as. That's inspirational.

Absolutely.

They achieved that. Yeah.

And these words that I gave you, if anybody wants one of these cards, I can send it to them in the mail or digital, either one, if they want this card. Because I have people that keep these cards stuck around just to remind yourself you're not stressed, you're blessed, you're not overwhelmed, you're in demand. All of those little things. So if anybody.

Oh, you are so kind to give

that to anybody that wants it. It.

Okay. And y', all, seriously. She sent me a book. And, and a lot of times I'll get books in the mail, but she sent me like a sweet card that I saved. And, and I have the access card, too.

You have the access card too?

Yeah, I use it as my bookmark.

Good.

But what's the best way for people to get to reach you? And then I have one more question.

You know, I'm on all the social media. Dale Smith Thomas. That's Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, and then Dalesmith Thomas.com you can go there and send me an email.

And is that the best way they can send you?

I respond to all of it. So there's a contact form there and there's an email either way. It comes straight to me. There is not some gatekeeper in my office. I am the gatekeeper. So I, I, you're looking at the team right here. That's, that's my goal this year, is to get some team members around me because, yeah, all this year is to expand and just reach more lives, as many as we can. And maybe the Hope Dealer and the Hope Doctor go on tour speak.

I know. I think so. But, yeah, it, it's a lot. I'm the, I'm the gatekeeper. I'm the team. I take that back. I've got a great. Christine, if you're listening to this, editing this podcast right now, I appreciate you, Christine. She's amazing. I have a podcast producer and I got a great graphics team that helps me get the podcast out, or else I am, I'm a little technically challenged. Like, this is a big deal for me to have a podcast and so

early because I was afraid I wasn't gonna get in the right room. Sister. Just for that, I just want to say to you, keep shining your light, my friend, because you are making such a difference in this world. Thank you for all that you're doing. I am one of your biggest supporters and biggest fans, and I am, I am right here if you, if, if you should ever need me. I am right here.

Well, thank you. You are making a huge impact in the world and you just shine so bright. I appreciate you so much being on the show. Can you tell us one last thing? Because I want. Because you have a ton of acronyms. Well, maybe I should ask you, what is your favorite acronym that you've. Because you've got one for beauty, you've got one for crown.

I like the crown one and I like the hope. Helping other people excel. So that's an easy one to write down, but crown. And you know, so many times people think crown is beauty queen. No, I believe we all come to this earth, God sends us with an invisible crown on our head. A crown of self respect, a crown of worth, a crown of what we're supposed to do in this world. And then what happens is we dip our head in disrespect to ourselves with low self esteem, and our crown falls off. And so crown means confidently respecting our worth now. And if you will stand in that space and confidently respect your worth right now, your head goes up. And I teach everybody say crown up. Keep the crown of your head up because you can't see what you're supposed to be doing or the people you're supposed to help. If you're looking down. Crown up.

Oh, wow. Mic drop moment right there. What a great, powerful way to end. Thank you so much. Tell us one more time where people can find you.

Dale Smith Thomas Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, all the things in DaleSmith Thomas.com and that comes directly to me. I would love to hear from you all.

Well, thank you. Hey, y' all listening? Let's let her hear from us. I say take a screenshot wherever, whatever platform you're listening on, whether listening on Apple, Spotify, or if you're watching it on YouTube. If you take a screenshot and just tag me at Amberly Lago motivation. And tag Dale at Dell Smith Thomas on Instagram. I always share when I see that you have tagged it. Your support and you listening to the show means so much. Thank y' all so much for listening, because it's. It's because of you that the show is top 1%. So thank you for tuning in to the show. I know. I'm just amazed. This is such an amazing community. I'm so blessed, so grateful for them, and I'm so grateful for you, Dell.

So let's make sure you see each other this year. I love you. Let's see each other in 23, my friend.

Yes, we will. Thank you for being on the show.

All right. Love you.

Love you.