Setting Up Boundaries In Order to Thrive with Michael Forde

Welcome to True Grit and Grace, a podcast designed to empower you to claim your resilience and thrive through life's challenges. I am Amberly Lago, a mindset coach, fitness expert, and bestselling author. Each week, I'll dive deep with the world's brightest thought leaders and elite performers to share tangible tools and practical advice to inspire you to keep your eyes on the prize and forge ahead. So get ready to conquer your fears, heal any trauma, lead with your heart, and elevate your life with grit and grace.

Michael Ford. How are you, my friend?

Well, I'm doing well, Amberly. How are you doing?

Thank you so much for being here. We. We've been friends for a while. I think we actually met on Instagram.

We did, yes.

But, like, I think it's been about two years.

It has been. It's 20.

21.

2019.

Yeah, yeah, it's been about 10 years.

Wow.

Time flies.

I know. But I tell you, I was saying before we started recording, just how grateful I am for your support and your enthusiasm and your passion, because you're a motivational speaker and you've got a huge platform, but you have a beautiful heart. And I say that because you're the kind of person that is, like, a mindset of abundance. Like, there is enough for a stage to all have success and abundance. And the reason I say that is because you have referred me to be in, like, articles before. You have given me shout outs on Instagram. You've been on Clubhouse and introduced me as y'.

All.

Amberly's the real deal. And, I mean, that is what we need more of in this world is people like you who are supportive and giving. And I just have to ask, how old are you?

I'm 26.

You're 26? I thought you were about my daughter's age. And I am just dying to ask you so many questions because I'm getting ready to do my next TEDx talk, and it's to youth, and you are freaking inspiring. So you graduated from high school at, like, 16, and you've already written a book, actually. Hello. I have your book right here. I've got. You know what I love about your book, too, is that I could actually, like, read it, because it's sometimes hard for me to read. I do a lot of books on Audible, and I'm like, oh, yeah, I can read this book. It's short enough for me to read, but impactful. And I actually wrote down some of your quotes here and stuff. And one of the quotes that you have in Your book is from Nicole Hill. He says whatever the mind. Wait, though. Whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe it can achieve.

Yes.

Did I say that right?

Yeah, yeah, you did. You did. It's a kind of a tongue twister. Even when I was writing the manuscript, I had to read it a few times to make sure I wrote it down properly. But, yeah, it's a very powerful quote. I love it. I love it.

So how did you graduate from high school at 19, first of all, I mean, 16. Yeah, let's 16, right.

It was like 19. But no, it was. It was when I was 16 years old. So essentially I hadn't even gone through

puberty at 16, by the way. Like, that's a big deal to go through, get through like that, that young.

Yeah, no, yeah, definitely. I mean, I. I've been blessed. First of all, shout out to my family, my mom and my dad, they've been very supportive of my growth. You know, when you can have people corner, I feel like that makes the world of difference. Some people don't even have that accountability factor, that support factor. So, you know, growing up, I always had that factor. And my parents are also from the Caribbean. So the culture for Caribbean parents, at least from their generation, is very like scholastic based, education based. We want our children to succeed and be doctors and lawyers and all these types of successful individuals. So my mom used to be an educator, and her father used to be an educator. And then having that mindset, you can just see how that culture plus mindset equals making sure that Michael goes through his work. He's staying on top of his scholastic performance. And so I think I started school when I was like, very, very, very young. I remember being like in the first grade at six or five, something like that. And I just remember that my mom actually took me from the school system once. They, you know, she felt like they were holding me back. So I was homeschooled for a long time. And so because of my experience, I was able to just be like Peter Rabbit and hop around from one grade to the next. And before you knew it, I was graduating high school at a very young age. 16, so.

So your mom homeschooled?

Yes.

Let me tell you, this virtual school stuff is the lunch lady. I'm the snack girl, I'm the PE person, which I love, but it's like, it's a lot. But now we're in California and we're slowly getting back into hybrid, and that's a big change. I think sometimes change is just hard and so, man, your mom's amazing to actually homeschool you, because I tried helping her with. My daughter's 12. I tried helping her with algebra, and I'm like, oh, we got to get you a tutor, because that's just not my forte. But, wow, that's amazing that your mom and you had the support from your family and that you bring that up, that how much support plays a part in how successful we are. And I think that goes along the lines, whether you're in school, Whether you are 26 like yourself, or whether you are almost 50 like me, we need to have that support system. So I love that you talk about that in your book as well, about having coaches and mentors. And so I would love for you to, first of all, share any mentors that have really impacted your life, but then also tell us the difference with what it means to you, a coach versus a mentor.

Okay. Those are. I love everything. So let's start with the people who have, like, poured into me. There have been so many people that have been. That have poured into me as mentors. I think the original mentor was really my mom, and my dad was a mentor and is still a mentor as well. But having the educational aspect really was the difference. I mean, my mom would really just make sure that I'm writing my arithmetic and going over tables and going over algebra things and going over, you know, a vocabulary word. And I was always challenged. So I feel like she was like the original real mentor when it came to my education. But after that, my current mentor really is a guy, and I may have referred you to him at one point or maybe talked about him, but his name is Keyshawn Scott. He actually.

Wait, what was his name? I don't think I know him.

Kishoren Scott. If you don't know him, he definitely knows you, because I've told you, I've told him all about you and how great you look. But he is a heartbreak slash relationship coach, and he's an Instagram influencer. And I remember when I started on Instagram years ago, I had no idea what I was doing. And I really wanted to elevate myself on social media, but also offline and in the community. And he was doing both. I messaged him randomly, and at the time, he had, you know, a few. About 100,000, a little bit over a hundred thousand followers. And I asked him, hey, how did you get there? What did you do?

He actually took me like a little brother and mentored me on not only how to grow my Instagram but now have his personal number. He teaches me things about finance, investing, stocks, streams of income. When it comes to being a better version of yourself, he's very motivational, very inspirational. So he's actually, I would consider him a very close mentor who currently and actively, you know, calls me, hey, are you doing what you said you're going to do? He keeps me accountable, keeps me in line. He checks me when I need to be checked. And even with spirituality and physical things, I exercise, he keeps me on track on everything. So literally, he went from being an Instagram mentor to a life mentor, which is one of the greatest.

Yeah, and now let me go back to that a little bit. So there's a couple of questions I have for you. First of all, so a lot of people get confused. Like I have an accountability partner, I have mentors, I have people I'm in masterminds with. I would love to have a coach. I need a coach. I think every coach needs a coach. Every trainer needs a trainer. I mean, that's like a, that's, to me, that's kind of a luxury. But with the mentor versus a coach, first of all, do you pay a mentor or do you pay a coach or do you do both? How does that work?

Yeah, so I'm glad you went back to it because I was getting ready to say that. For me, I think the real difference between a coach and a mentor is the financial aspect. I mean, a coach, you hire a coach, then the thing about that is that when the terms of service end, you may not have access to that coach anymore. A mentor, however, on the other hand, is someone that is in your corner and you have access to even when the terms of service, quote unquote, would naturally be ended on the other side of coaching. So I think the difference is that a mentor has, you have greater access to a mentor. A mentor also is there for your good, your good days, your bad days, and longevity. I think it's more of a long term coach is short term. Now there are instances though where your coach can become your mentor. So I've been in situations where people have coached me with maybe physical activity. I was into bodybuilding at one phase of my life and those coaches got so close to me that they became mentors. And I don't pay them today, you know, but if I need access to anything resource, I have that longevity there based on the relationship we had in coaching.

Okay. So when I've had a mentor in the past. So when I first got into training, how my, how it worked with my Mentor is. And it went even actually when I was teaching dance. When I started off, I started teaching dance at like age 13. But to have the mentor, I took a course which was very expensive back then. I think it was like twelve hundred dollars and it was so much. I mean I had to save up money, my family saved up money to pay for that course, which basically was probably the best money that I've ever spent because I carried that knowledge from learning how to be a teacher, learning the business side of teacher, and then having her continue to mentor me through the years. I took that and that's how I started to run my fitness business. But then when I became a personal trainer, I paid again for this special course that I took and then it had a hands on approach after the course was done. And so I got to mentor from someone who already had a successful fitness training business because there's a lot of great people out there that know how to train people or they know about anatomy or whatever, but they don't know the business side of it. So I really got, I chose a course which led me to a mentor and got to learn the business side of how do you book clients? How do you get trainers and build your own business and employ other trainers to work with you? And so that's what mentors have been for me. When I started speaking, I paid for a course. So I paid $5,000, which I was like $5,000, oh my gosh, $5,000 to learn this PowerPoint presentation type thing where it from a speaker like presentation coach who teaches you the different kinds of speaking. Because I didn't know how. I was like getting asked to speak on stages and I had no idea how to do it. So I paid for the course. I took this five, you know, it was two hours at five times. I went for two hours at a time and I've got access to her as my mentor ever since. So that's kind of how a mentor has worked in my life is I've paid for what they offer, they're offering and then the bonus is I have them to mentor me and I have access to them. Like I just called, I took that course six years ago maybe and I just called my mentor and I was like, hey, I bet you didn't think you'd still be hearing from me, but I'm feeling a little stuck right now. I've got another TED Talk and I need help. And so she's like, what are your ideas? And she's able to talk me through it. So I think that as an entrepreneur, it can be lonely sometimes because you get to a certain level of success, and then a lot of people don't want to ask for help. I say ask for help. Get a mentor, Take a course from someone who's highly respected, who's paving the way, who's doing like, you've done, where you were. Like, how did you grow your Instagram following? I would love for you to share, because there's a lot of people on here that want to build their following so they can make a bigger impact. What are some of the things that you've done to grow your social media? Because your social media, ever since I've known you, has just exploded. Like, you have such a huge following, you get tons of likes. Not that likes or everything, but it just shows that your people are liking what you're. They're resonating with what you're saying because you post a lot of very powerful, impactful things. So how did you start to grow your following from, like, zero to hundreds of thousands where it is now?

Yeah, so I think when I began the process of trying to figure out

what this Instagram thing really was about, I just posted, you know, a lot of content that had no real meaning or purpose for me. So I think tip number one is make sure that whatever you're getting into has purpose and has value. Because when you're just starting out on social media, if you're just posting to post, it's kind of just like living life just to live. And a life without a purpose is really not a life worth living. So an Instagram without a purpose, in my opinion, is not an Instagram worth having. Even if you want to be a model. Okay, well, your purpose is to, you know, inspire others in the sense of style. If you want to be an author, you want to inspire others in the words that you write. If you want to be an entrepreneur, you might want to inspire others in the business mentality that you have. So in every corner, find your niche and really understand what you're trying to put out there into the world. And I think that once you figure that out, the second thing I would say is to really be consistent. I can't stress that enough consistency pays off dividends. If you think that you're wanting to start an Instagram and you start posting and you don't see the results, you just can't give up. Because if you're just going to post five things and then, oh, I, I quit because I'm not getting enough likes. I'm not getting Enough traction. I mean, it's. You think about all the famous people now, like Oprah, Michael Jordan, Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison. Like, these people didn't just try something and then stop because they didn't see success. You know, success is that thing that comes with consistency. And the third thing I would say is to. Once you figured out what your niches and how will be impactful, and then you figure out how you're going to be able to be consistent. I would say always think about ways of growing offline to help you grow online. And the reason why I say this is important is because in today's age, the way Instagram works a lot now is with just social credibility. Who are you? Why should we listen to you? Why should we interact? Why should. What do you have to offer that will help us? So once you're able to build yourself offline, meaning maybe do community events, if that's in your niche, maybe do blog articles, posts, maybe get podcasts done, maybe even, you know, try to see how you can help other people in that specific niche. Or maybe you're a comedian, right? Even if you're a comedian and you want to post videos to get people laughing, you know, Instagram is not the only place. You have YouTube, you have TikTok, you have Snapchat. I mean, you have so many different tools that you can use. So I would say use all those tools to build a community that's holistic, that can pour into your Instagram and over time you'll see growth. And bonus tip, bonus tip. This is something that helped me a lot, make genuine connections with real people like you.

Yeah, no, that, that's true. And I think that how you do that and how you did that is like we met. But you were very consistent assistant in reaching out to me and like, making, you know, it a. Like, I always hear from you, I'm like, oh, there's Michael again. Oh. And one thing that I think really helped me is because, look, I have had people ask me, who's your social media person? Who's your brander? And I'm like, that would be me. Like, it's me. Because it's a lot to keep up with. But I think the best way to create engagement is to post stuff that resonates with people. Like, for me, that comes from the heart. And I put time and effort into and intention into what I'm posting. And by the way, I see the difference in your social media from years ago when you first started, and it was like, I think you're a comedian. By the way, like, you would post some funny stuff, but it was like, for a laugh and just random. And then I could see how you've grown into your social media. That is very intentional with a lot of purpose behind it now. I see that. And the same with me. Like, I leave my posts that I've had since I first started that are horrible, like bad filters on, like bad. But I leave it because when I coach people and they're discouraged and they're like, I don't know, you know, oh my gosh, you have all these likes or this or that. And I said, no, go back to when I first started. And I was excited that I was like, oh my gosh, I got double digit likes, like 11 people. Oh, 12 people liked my post. I didn't get caught up in the numbers. I really paid attention to engagement as far as, like, I comment back to people and then I go to their post, show them some love, and really pay attention to what they're posting. Not just heart, heart, heart. But really I do my best to really read their post and comment on it, which does take a lot of time. And I've had people say, amberly, well, especially my husband say, you can't keep that up. It's too much. You just can't do that. And so I haven't been able to do it as much because life gets lifey. Life gets busy. So how do you manage your boundaries and your priorities around your social media? Because we were talking about this offline about clubhouse and how much that can be like, like as we speak right now, my phone is on a clubhouse room in the bathroom because I'm speaking on. So I'm like, you guys, I'll be right back. I gotta go interview a legend right now. How do you manage everything?

So I'm gonna show you two things, two apps. Okay.

This first app is called Habit Share. Habit Share looks like this. I don't know if any. Everyone can see that. Let me see if I can adjust my, my screen contrast.

Okay. And if y' all are listening to this, head over to YouTube and you can actually.

Here we go.

See Michael and see the. Now what is that? It's called. That's an app.

It's an app called Habit Share. I'm holding it in an angle so that you can.

It doesn't. Okay, have it share.

But basically what it does is it allows you to input all your daily tasks. So every day I have a routine.

Every day what?

Every day what?

Every day I have a routine.

Uh huh.

And I'LL tell you, like, some of the things, I wake up and I do some meditation, right? I'm in school right now, so I'm actually doing some academic things for my grad school. Got to make sure that I eat breakfast, have to make sure I have my fruits and vitamins, make sure that I drink my appropriate glasses of water a day. So I have one app that's solely dedicated to my daily routine and it tracks your progress, because every time you check in, it tracks your progress. It says, okay, you're 52% accountable for this week. You're 100% accountable for this this week. So it's like your own accountability partner. But for social media. I have a separate app. It's called Momentum for those watching, see if I could also.

So Habit Share and Momentum. I'm writing this down, by the way.

Oh, yeah, for sure. Without these apps, I think I probably would not get as much out of life as I do now. I use this app, which is Momentum, to basically track my social media activities. You might not be able to see it so clearly in the video, but I say, okay, well, engage with my Instagram community.

Post on Twitter, post on Facebook, post

on Instagram, post on YouTube, YouTube. Thursdays at 2:00pm Eastern Time, post on TikTok. You know, reach out to some individuals in my niche.

Wow.

Look out for inspirational post posts, tag people in inspirational posts. Put, you know, I have, I have these things listed. I feel that with having these apps, I'm able to just look in, see what I have not done, and just check off the things that need to be done.

That's awesome. Because you know what, if you saw my desk, I don't know. Well, you can't see I've got sticky notes. So I have sticky notes everywhere that are like, email this person, post on Twitter, make a tweet, all this stuff. I need to get that app.

The app is beautiful. It integrates really well with your phone. It's for iPhone users and Android users. But these apps essentially serve as accountability partners to you.

Okay?

You set them up right. You put. You put what you need to accomplish. As I said, I use one of the apps for my daily routine, and the other app can be more updated with flexible things. And you don't have to use one app for social media over the other. It doesn't really matter which one you use for social media and which one you use for your daily routines. But just having either or of those apps, Habit Share or Momentum, are very useful in keeping a hold on what you have to Do.

That's so awesome. Now, Michael, I've got to ask you, because. So my oldest daughter's 25. She just got accepted to Yale. I'm so freaking proud of her. Like, you, she's studying medicine. I mean, she's, like, been doing Covid research. I love that you're our health servant and all that you do, and that you're so. You know that you're in school right now and you're making time to do this recording, and you seem so organized, and just by sharing these apps. And so this next TED talk that I'm doing is for youth. And so I called my daughter and I said, savannah, I said, what do you think youth is struggling with the most right now? I said, you know, I know that what I struggled with. You can Google it. And it says, addiction, depression, anxiety. Those are like, the top one. And overwhelm and burnout. And she said, well, you know, mom, she said, you know, when I was stressed out, feeling overwhelmed and burnt out the other week, and you told me about boundaries and really about setting those healthy boundaries and having quality over quantity, she said, you know, I deleted my social media. I got really intentional about setting healthy boundaries for myself. She said, I wish that I would have known that growing up, because I didn't. And now I am in so much pain, and I am like, oh, my heart. You know, like, I wish I was a better parent, like when she was younger, but I didn't know those things. I didn't know how to set healthy boundaries. I didn't know how to process my feelings. And I learned it at a much older age. What are some of the things that maybe you struggle with, and what are some of the things that you feel like people your age are struggling with? I mean, it's weird to even call you youth, because I feel like you're an old soul. I think it's because you're so accomplished in where you are as a speaker and where you are in your life that it's weird for me to say youth. But, I mean, you're 26 years old. What is something. You've obviously got great habits set in place. Is there anything that you struggle with? And also, do you know if people that are your age, if you even hang out with people your age, is something that they struggle with?

Yeah.

So I think that I have this struggle with time management. So the greatest barrier in my life is time management. I think part of it is because I'm always trying to be involved in things. That's my personality.

Do you Think it's like fomo. Do you think it's fear of missing out?

Part of it. I think part of it could definitely be fomo. Definitely part of it can be fomo. But the other half is just my personality is that of, you know, I like to be in the kitchen with the other cooks. I like to be in the action. I like to be in the events when things are happening. And I also like to try to have things just happen for me. So because I like to put a lot of things on my plate, sometimes I don't manage everything well, and then sometimes things may not even be on my plate in a very weighted way. Way, but I still struggle with that. And time management has been one of the things that's actually like. I'm writing a book right now called the Hidden Barriers that really goes into detail about, like, the 10 most formidable obstacles on the way to success. And I discuss in it about how time management really, like, almost messed up my whole career. Like, I wouldn't even have a career right now and if I didn't have to, like, try to hone in on trying to fix it and something that I'm always trying to fix, which is why I have these crutches. I have the app. I have things to keep me accountable.

I don't even think that. I think that that's, like, great that you have those. Those apps. I think whatever helps you look. I've got alarms. I've got a thing. My husband gets so upset because I have an alarm on my phone where at like, 8:45, it goes to do not disturb. So it doesn't notify me. I don't hear anything. I'm off social media. I mean, it's very rare that I'm scrolling or doing anything after that time. But he gets upset because if he's out and he tries to call, it just goes straight to voicemail. But I had to set up some kind of a system that it blinks. There's a light that flashes, and it says, time for bed. And so it gives me 30 minutes to start winding down. So my morning ritual is just as important as my nightly ritual. And that nightly ritual really prepares me for success for the next day. But time management is really a struggle for me too, because I feel like we are a lot alike. I love being with people and connecting and doing events and doing interviews and being a part of it. I just love the connection. And that's probably why I'm on a panel in the other room with a picture that says, be right back because I'm like, I love being there, you know? But one thing that really helps me is my friend Leah, who she is a third, like, gosh, three time Olympic medalist, gold medalist. She's been on the podcast. She said, you know, what I do is where I am all focused, where I am. So that's for me, like, when I'm doing this, I'm all here. When I'm with my family, I am all there. So it allows me to be in that moment. But I have to write things down. So I have to. I look at how much time I spend on Instagram and I'm curious, how much time do you spend on Instagram? Do you know?

Yeah, I.

Well, nowadays I spend significantly less time because I've actually put up boundaries. I mean, it's so funny because over the summer, or even this past winter, I mean, I would log on to my Instagram, report on my iPhone and it'll tell me, like, the amount of time you spent on this app this week. Oh my gosh, like 30 hours, like 40 hours. I'm like, what am I doing? And I told myself I'm not gonna allow my.

I'm not.

I'm going to be in control of the app. The app is not going to be in control of me. And so now I probably spend like

no more than two hours a week,

three hours a week in the app. I specifically write what I need to do on the app, which is to engage with people, engage with the community, put something up there, do some things in the background, the dms. I love the messaging portion because I can really be interactive without having to get distracted. And then I'm off. So, yeah, I just.

That's a drastic change from like 40 hours a week to like 2 hours a week. That's. Wow, that is really setting some boundaries up because it's for me because I like to promote my podcast, I like to promote events that I have. Plus, I want to just try to give. Share my experience, strength and hope to others. So I want to just. I want to post other things too, but it's the time that I put in preparing the stuff. And I feel like when I'm not connecting with people myself, if I'm not reading their responses and stuff, I don't know my audience. And so I like to read the comments, I like to read the DMs. And I know a lot of people have people that do that for them. So sometimes it takes me three days to check my direct messages, but it's because I'm Doing it. And I know that there has to be a time when you delegate things out. I'm just not quite there yet. But the time management and the boundaries, and I really want to hone in on those boundaries. What do healthy boundaries mean to you?

Yeah, being able to say no. I think that's one of the strongest healthy boundaries. I struggled with this for a long time. And, you know, why do you think

you struggled with that?

I used to be a yes man. I used to really try to make everyone happy.

So you're overcoming people pleaser like me. Yeah, me too.

Yeah.

Like, saying no was so difficult for me. I mean, I could literally remember there have been times where people, like, asked me to do things that I knew didn't even make sense for me to say yes to, and I said anyway. But in the recent years, I've been way more dedicated to setting up boundaries, and now I have a little bit more fun saying no, especially when it's not met for me, the thing that, you know, I'm saying no to.

How do you say no? I mean, how do you know when someone asks you to do something, if it's a yes or no, what helps you make that decision?

That's a good question.

I think you just that. So this goes back to really knowing who you are and knowing what your values, your beliefs are. And if you're still struggling to find your purpose, I would say just continue to seek out the depth of what you like. Why do you feel like life matters to you? And why do you feel you have something to bring and what do you think that that thing is? Because all those things will help you to be able to say no. Especially if it doesn't line up. Like if someone asked me, you know, Michael, we like some of your comedy skits. We're hosting this televised event and you're going to do comedy and the audience is going to be from blah, blah, blah. And then the audience is not in my caliber. They're actually kind of not appropriate for my type of positivity and not the kind of atmosphere I'd like to be in that would coexist with my brand. And, you know, that's a no. I feel like you say no when it's anything that's going to harm your piece. You say no when it's going to cost you your piece, because anything that costs you your piece has cost you too much.

Right.

You're going to say no when it's something that will be not aligned with your values, not aligned with what you believe in. Not aligned with what you stand for. Also say no if it's going to cost you destruction of your boundary that you've set up. So these are all things that I consider. But I will say slight comment to the right. There are times when it's also okay to say no, not right now. A little bit different from that indefinite no. It's just like, no, not right now. Rain check on this.

Right?

Because that shows that you're not in the space for whatever reason to handle whatever it is that comes your way. But you know that later on, you might be more willing and ready to say yes. So I think knowing where you are at all times, and I think, too,

just knowing that when you're saying yes to something, you're saying no to yourself or no to something you're doing with your family. For me, I always think about, okay, when I'm saying yes to this person, what am I saying no to? I'm saying no to that solo podcast I was supposed to have recorded last week, or I'm saying no to doing my exercise or no to spending time with my family or no to what. So that helps me weigh it out, too. Too. But I think I love what you said about knowing who you are and knowing what your values are. That makes it so clear for everything you do, whether it's collaborating with someone on Instagram or like, the other day, I was pinged into a clubhouse room, and they asked me to go on stage. And I'm looking around and I'm like, this is not. I mean, I'm all about going into different rooms and expanding my brand and stuff, but I'm like, none of these people are gonna. We're not the same at all. They don't care about speaking or books or grit or grace. Like, they're just. They don't care. Why am I here? Like, I had to go, okay, I gotta peace out. You know? Like, it's not gonna work. So I think Clubhouse has taken off. It's like, people are on that app, and I know some people that are already addicted to it. And there's already Clubhouse anonymous rooms, believe it or not. Like, I swear, it's crazy. I had a friend that was on clubhouse for 12 hours straight, and I'm like, how do you work? How do you get any work done? Those of you who don't know what Clubhouse is yet, I'm sure most people do, but it's an audible app, and I love. We're connected on Clubhouse, and I love being in rooms with you. Tell me how much you're on Clubhouse and how has it impacted your business? And have you set healthy boundaries up with Clubhouse?

Yes, let's start from the healthy boundaries because when I started on Clubhouse, I did not set up healthy boundaries. I remember I was on the app for four days straight when I first got on it. Yes, you heard it right. The guy who was talking about how you should set up boundaries did not set up his own boundaries. Yes, that is true. I did not set up my own boundaries. And that's the thing with life.

I think a lot of people did that though. A lot of people.

A lot of people did that. And I think when it's. This is just good for anyone to know. When you interact with something for the first time, don't just dive into it unless you are really sure how the boundary is going to be established. Because everything should have a boundary in life. Everything. Too much and too little of some things may not be beneficial for you. For me, I just let it carry me and I was like, man, it's been four days and I really have not gotten sleep and I've literally been on the app. I promise you that week I looked at my report and Clubhouse, the hours were just ridiculous. But now I use the app for building more of a community that's focused on just motivational, inspirational, momentum based things. Occasionally I'll be in a room that, where people just pretty much shout themselves out and they talk about what they're doing and they talk about, you know, what's the project they're working on or the business they're working on. But nowadays I pretty much use Clubhouse very rarely and the only time I use it is to really pour into others or have others connect with me so we can, you know, talk about things related to business or things related to authorship. Some people have reached out to me, which is awesome because they've never written a book and they wanted to know how to get started. So I told them to message me on Instagram and then the next thing you know, we were sending each other voice memos and some tips and tricks to become a first time author. So these are the things that anyone should consider going into an app or anything in life. Just make sure you know what your boundaries will look like and be purposeful

because there's going to come to it. There's going to come a time when you're just going to be doing something just because. And that's the worst thing. That's back to how I said it's like living life with no purpose. Like you're just thinking you're just existing, but you're not actually living.

Yeah, I think that's true. So I think that setting up the boundaries, healthy boundaries for yourself, for everything that you do, whether it's apps or people or places or anything, it's like really knowing what your values are and being intentional. Because I think a lot of times if you ask people, what are your values, sometimes people don't know. So I think it's important to ask yourself, who are you? What do you need? What do you feel? What are your values? So then that will help you see, set up those healthy boundaries and help you with your time management. And if you need help, it's the habit share or the momentum apps. Now, to stay so highly motivated, first of all, then I'll ask you how you got into motivational speaking. But what are some of the things you do to stay motivated and who motivates you? Like, how do you do that?

Uh, yeah.

So those apps, going back to those apps, my motivation really comes from seeing the goals that I had written down originally, the routine that I wrote down originally, or the.

The.

The things that I had to do, because it reminds me that I set out on this journey of consistency, so I need to stick to it. But sometimes those apps don't work right. Sometimes you write things down and you tell yourself that you have greatness within you, you have unlimited potential, all the things that inspire and motivate us. But when that doesn't work, the next thing that I do to stay motivated is to have an accountability partner. So going back to what we said before, accountability partners don't have to be your mentors. It's great when they are extremely powerful when they are, but sometimes they could just be your friends and family members. One of my family members, my cousin Clayton, he keeps me very accountable. He makes sure that if I say something, especially I'm a dreamer. So I like to always say, I'm going to be, you know, the first person to do XYZ on the planet. You know, whatever. And he'll say, well, Mike, how's it going with your plan to do XYZ on the planet?

Whatever?

And I'm like, I forgot I said that. Well, I'm just holding you accountable because you said it, therefore it must happen. You know, we need that. Sometimes it does hurt, and it's horrible because I'm like, man, why do I have to talk so much? Like, I don't want. I don't want anyone to keep me accountable.

But yes. Yeah. Hey, look, I check in with my sponsor every single day. That's how I stay sober. That and I go to meetings. And so, yeah, I really believe in accountability. I think that's how we do it, because it's easy to kind of get, you know, little way far away from our goal or whatever. But I think it's like when we have somebody that we know, we're checking in with them, as hard as it is, sometimes it really makes all the difference. Yeah, so you're lucky. I mean, that's great you have family members that can do that. Because sometimes family members are not so supportive. In fact, they're the people you don't even tell your big dreams or goals because they will make fun of you or they will really tell you how there's no way you can do it or that. And not coming from any other place other than they're maybe projecting their own fear, their own feelings of. They're like, there's no way you can write a book, or there's no way you could change the world by doing this. And not that they mean it in a mean way. They've never done it, so they kind of project that onto you. So I think it's really important to find those people that do believe in you, whether it's a mentor coach, because sometimes your family is not capable of doing that. So I think it's great that you have some family that is there to support you along the way. So do you have a morning ritual that you do and does that app help you with that? Does it change up throughout the day?

So, pretty much, I put all my morning ritual into those apps. You know, as I said, habit share momentum. And what it looks like is, you know, I'll wake up, first thing I'll do is get acclimated, you know, because when you wake up, the bed can

easily call you back.

It can easily call you back, especially when you're comfortable and you're nice and warm. So I'll start immediately thinking about, okay, what are some things that I have to do do today?

And while thinking, I'll just say, I know the bed is going to keep me, so I need to just go ahead and get up. So while I'm thinking about those things, I'm in the bathroom every morning like clockwork. I'm brushing my teeth, flossing, you know, doing a little bit of tlc. And then I come to this chair that I'm sitting in right now, and then I start reading. There's a book behind me, Kobe Bryant book called the Mamba Mentality going through the mind of Kobe Bryant. Right? I'll read.

Our car is named Mamba, by the way.

Mamba.

I love it.

My daughter named our car Mamba.

I love it. Mama mentality.

So, you know, I'll read a little bit of that, do a little bit of my devotional. I'm a Christian spiritual person, so I'll read a little bit of a devotional, and then after that, I'll pretty much get my mind ready maybe for half an hour to 45 minutes, and then I'll dive into, like, the biggest thing that I have that day first. So right now I'm working on a manuscript or getting that manuscript type for my book. I know that it's gonna take a lot for me to just get everything ready. So I have some extra time. I'll spend maybe an hour just really cracking down hard on that one thing, and then that's where the consistency pays off. I mean, Kobe Bryant even said himself in one of the interviews a while back, he was saying that, you know, success really comes down to mathematics. The more that you can have to add from daily, consistent rituals or consistent, you doing things as you should, it'll add up. And before you know it, you will have put in enough time to reach a goal or the dream, and then

have the impossible be possible.

So for me, it's just consistency, time management, and then really just having that accountability. Those things will work like magic. I promise you. If there's nothing else that you do, those three things, being consistent, having somebody to keep you accountable for that consistency, and having a way to organize your time properly, you'll be whatever you want to be, and you're on the way to finding grit in your grace.

Oh, I love that. I love that. And then you say something else in your book that about you have a light inside you and to really fan those flames. How do you fan those flames?

I like. Yes. So for me, that's a great question. The reason I say it's a good question, because it's actually changed in the past as I continue to grow. Before, it was through just kind of

being around the right people. Now I find it not so much being around the right people, but having the right mindset. At one point, I was trying to find, I guess you can say, like, my purpose and my will by associating myself with people. Like, if I saw somebody that was doing something that I thought I would want to do, that's what I would do. But I realized that that kind of only takes you so far. If you don't have the actual engine to the car. The mindset to your human soul like that moves you in that direction of self growth and self love. Then being around people will only carry you to a certain height, a certain level. Like you're as good as the people's existence around you. But it has to go deeper than that. So I think for me now it's just being able to carry a mindset of, well, a mindset of grit, a mindset of determination, a mindset of purpose filled, driven concepts that work to make sure that I'm really just getting the most out of life. So that's what I'm currently all about.

Well, I mean, it's amazing that here you are at such a young age that you're in graduate school, that you're doing all this research, that you are such a huge influencer and speaking and being asked to do all these interviews. I mean, it's just so inspiring. And you're such a great role model for everyone, not just young people, but for me, I mean, I learned from you. And that's why I was so excited to talk to you, because I was like, okay, what are you struggling with and how do you do it? You know, like. Cause we all struggle with similar things, you know. But I can only imagine where you're gonna be a year from now and two years and then when your next book comes out. Let me tell you, I'm like so excited for your next book. When do you think that it's gonna come out? Well, first of all, what's it called?

It's called the Hidden Barriers.

The Hidden Barriers. And when do you think it's gonna be published?

I'm hopeful for maybe next spring. The manuscript is already complete. Everything's ready to go. I think, you know, it's just having that process of finding the right publishing company that can tell your story. But I.

So you're going to do publish traditional publishing this time? Are you going to do hybrid or so? Because your first book was self published, right?

My first book was self published. But this book, because I'm really wanting

it to be a New York Times bestseller.

A New York Times bestseller. But for me it's really more about the impact factor.

Right?

Yeah.

So in research we even have something called the impact factor. Like it is. What do you think it is? Like, how much can this one thing impact something else? So for me, the first book was really I wanted to be able to take success begins from where you are, the name of the book to people who needed to hear you know, a message and a right now kind of message. Not a tomorrow kind of message or, you know, next year kind of message. A right now kind of message that was short enough for you to digest and really just, hey, okay, this is like a little bit of a jumpstart. Something that's easily digestible, easily readable. So that's why I just did the self publishing wrap up for this one. We're going big because I feel like

we say go big or go home in Texas.

Yes. Yeah.

Go big.

Yeah. I love it.

I put so much of my personal stories and emotion into this book that I feel like I have to do it justice by making sure that the impact factor is right. So, yeah, that's why I feel like the traditional route for me would be the best option. Well, I'm so excited.

I'm excited for you. And when you let me know, I will be ready to write that review on Amazon for you and read it and shout your book out. Yeah, I'm cheering you on. I introduced you to my girlfriend from Right Way who I was like. And that's how it works. You know, we can connect each other with others. So I'm like, yeah, I'm going to be reaching out to you when your book's done because by then I'll be working on my next one. So it just. Yeah. However, we can support each other just to kind of finish up here. I would love to know your definition of resilience.

Yes. I love this. I knew this was coming. I knew this was coming. The definition of resilience. Okay, are you ready?

Yeah, I'm excited.

Michael H. Ford's definition of resilience is not backing down when times are tough. Not giving up when all else is against you. Not sitting down when you have the ability to stand up. Resilience means you push forward with a momentum that's not only unstoppable, but it's unbreakable. There'll be no chain that is strong enough to break your resilience. Resilience for you is the same type of chain that maybe it has bound you to some things in the past that has held you there. But now you've been able to rework that chain for your own good. And you take those same polymers that created that chain that held you down and use them to create this barrier that will be unbreakable. No one can penetrate it. And you will be able to keep on going from one thing to the next.

Conquering the barrier of fear, conquering the

barrier of low self esteem, Conquering the barrier of discipline, conquering the barrier of time management when it comes to saying no, putting up boundaries, making sure that people have you to hold you accountable, having all those things mixed together for a great recipe called resilience. And that is my definition.

Amen. I love that high five on that one. That was awesome. Oh, I love your enthusiasm too. Oh my gosh, you are incredible. I always look forward to hearing you on Clubhouse. Seeing your post, it always lifts my spirits when I see a comment from you. So thank you for all you do to impact the world in such a positive way and just sharing your wisdom today. I appreciate you so much. Where's the best place for people to find you you and ask you more questions?

Yes, if anyone wants to ask me any question, please find me on Instagram at M I C H A E L H F O R D E Michael H. Ford. I'm also real bull on other social media platforms. Facebook. Now I'm on TikTok. I just started that the other day, so that's fun.

Oh, I have to follow you there. I think the last time I posted on TikTok was like six months ago.

Yeah, Clubhouse. So pretty much any social media app, the name is the same. But my most active app is Instagram. So I'd love to connect with you, you guys, to be able to talk about what you're doing, to build your resilience, to build your grit and to build your moving forward type mentality towards success.

Oh yeah. If there was a one part in here that just really resonated with you, take a screenshot and tag both Michael H. Ford and Amberly Lago Motivation so we can see it and thank you and connect and share it too. So thank you for tuning in. We'll see you next time.

Thanks for having me.

Thank you.

Thanks so much for joining us this week on True Britain Grace podcast. If you like it, please rate it or share it with your friends. That would help too. If you're not yet on the newsletter list, come over to amberlylogo.com and jump on it. While you're there, you can grab a free downloadable gratitude journal. And you might just want to check out my book or even check out my monthly Mocha motivational membership. Thanks again for tuning in and we'll see you next week.