Joy Through the Journey: Finding Gratitude Amidst Chaos with Amberly Lago

Well, I am excited to share my new book, Joy through the Journey. And it y'. All. I've packed it with real and raw stories, but it's got actionable steps and tools and powerful insights that are going to help you embrace the present moment, really build your resilience and unlock the joy that's waiting for you. So go over to go.amberly lago.com forward/joy and you can collect your free bonuses that I have created created for you. Or if it's easier, just go to Amazon one click away and you can grab your copy. And not only that, I am having a Joy Sparkers book club. So if you've already bought a copy, thank you very much. It's not too late to join the book club and we can spark some joy together. This is an exclusive space to grow, connect and really transform your life. So want to be a part of the book club? I sure would love to see you there. Go.amberly lago.com forward/book book-club and these will these links will be in the show notes and thank you. Let's spark more joy together. And now on to the show. Welcome to the Amberly Lago Show. Stories of true grit and grace. Hey, thank you for tuning in. It's been a while since I've done a solo cast and I just want to drop in and keep it raw and real with you and tell you I'm feeling all the feels like my book is coming out next week and I am, I would like to sit here and say, oh, I'm so excited and I have it all figured out. I don't, I don't have it all figured out. I'm a little scared, to be honest with you, because it's so raw and real and I'm like, oh my gosh, they're all going to know the dark side, the secrets. But the only reason I'm sharing these things is because I want you to know that I don't have it figured out. Life isn't perfect. I have challenges. And these are the things from the book, the actionable steps that you can take too, that I use to get through challenges and spark joy, more life, more joy for the journey. And, and lately, let me tell you, I've been tested. There's been a lot going on behind the scenes and I was just really tested to see how could spark more joy in my life over this last year with health challenges, with my sweet baby Goldie, my little pup passing away with work stuff. Being an entrepreneur, man, it's not faint. It's not for the faint hearted. And just I know I'm going to have to really put these practices into play coming up because I have to have another surgery. So the doctors want to do another spinal stimulator on me for the complex regional pain syndrome. Now I've already had this once before and it was went horribly wrong and the wires had slipped and I was basically being electrocuted from the inside out. Wasn't fun. So I've had a little post traumatic stress from that. But something's got to give. This pain's got to give. And my husband sees the worst of it when I'm can't walk or can't get up and I rest up and I heal up and my nurse, my amazing nurse Tierra comes over and gives me an IV and he's like, that's like putting a band aid on a bullet hole. Like you got to do something. And so the doctors have agreed, yes, let's try the spinal stimulator. So they wanted to schedule it right away. And I'm like, oh, but no, I have a book coming. And they're like, okay, we'll do it after your book launch. And I'm like, oh, but no, I'm speaking at several events coming up. Well, let's do it after that. I'm like, oh, but no. I have my annual event called the Unstoppable Success Summit, which I really hope that you're going to come to. It's April 25th and 26th and a special brunch for the Mastermind members on the 27th. Mark your calendars for Dallas. Come see us. I'm serious because it is going to be my last time for a little while. Living it up, dancing around, having fun, spark and joy. Before I go and do this spinal stimulator which they've scheduled on May 1st. So yeah, they're giving me a couple of days off before I go in and have to have this thing implanted into my spine. And a little box that will be implanted into your butt cheek, by the way. And then, hey, I'll have a cool remote control thing and I'll get to play around and see what the electrical current will go down my leg to try to mask the pain or stop the pain. I'll really be like the bionic person and I'm going to have to have a sense of humor about it, especially going through TSA because they already pat me down like three times as it is with the metal in my leg. So what I learned a lot about going through TSA a couple of days ago was we are able to shift our mindset and embrace the present moment and get through challenges and spark joy no matter what. Because, you see, I was in Arizona and I got the phone call that no mom wants to get. I got the call that your daughter has been in an accident. You know, I think my heart sank. I'm like, is she okay? They're like, yep, she's gonna be fine. I'm like, well, what happened? And I guess her friend lost control of the truck. It went at a very fast speed into a five foot ditch. Luckily, there was a pole that kept the truck from flipping, which they said it probably would have done. Y'. All, I couldn't get home fast enough. I felt so helpless being in a different state, getting a phone call that the ambulance was, the paramedics were there, the police, the fire engine, and I'm in Arizona. So I got the one seat left on a plane the next morning. It was a middle seat. I didn't care. I was just like, just get me back to Texas. I got to see my daughter. Like, get me back. And I'm going through tsa. I'm putting my little. I've had my cart. Everything's. My laptop's out, my shoes are off. I'm ready to go. And this guy comes and he just goes right in front of me. And I said, mama bear came out. Okay, y'. All. I was not feeling very joyous in the moment. I have to say, excuse me, sir. And he said, well, I got a plane to catch. And I said, yes, sir, we all have planes to catch. And I flung my other suitcase on the belt. And he goes, oh, now you going to hit me? And I said, well, you really shouldn't skip me. Did that sound like a threat? I don't know. And I was like, amberly, I need to snap out of this. I need to breathe and be joyous or I'm going to my, you know, really hurt somebody. So I sat there. People must have thought I was crazy because I was like, okay, Amberly, breathe, breathe. And I was doing deep breaths. And let me tell you, there is something about breathing when you can't control what's going on around you. You can control your breathing. And whether you're frustrated or you're in fight or flight, and it's your sympathetic nervous system that is, like, overreacting. And you just want to go. Whether you are like me in bed sometimes at night, and the pain is radiating so deeply that I feel like my Nervous system is actually vibr. And I'm coming up off of the bed. I use an app. And now look, I am not affiliated with this app. There are so many apps out there. There's Insight Timer. I use calm app, and they have this one meditation, and it is how to get into your body and relax all the tension in your body. But the thing that I love the most is the breathing. And I swear to you, I'm not great at meditation. And that's why I use an app, because it helps me and it gets me. It calms the. The. The. Your sympathetic nervous system down. It just calms down everything. And it's a breathing in for four counts, out or holding for seven counts and out for eight counts. I believe that's what it is. See, I don't even know for sure. That's why I use the calm app to help me with that. But that breathing really helped. I was still feeling pretty frustrated, I have to say. And then I finally get on the p. Plane. I'm sitting in that middle seat, and they said, we got some issues, some mechanical issues. It may just take a little while. Well, about 20, 30 minutes later, they're like, sorry, folks, we are gonna have to deboard this full flight. Deboard the plane. And we don't have another plane for you, so just stay close to the gate and we'll try to find something so you can all get to where you're going. And I'm just like, okay, I'm not upset. I'm getting off the plane. Well, I found a way home. Meanwhile, I'm just like, I want to get home to my baby and get off the plane. And I am just thinking, gratitude. Like, I'm gratitude. I'm grateful that she's alive, that she is going to be okay. I'm grateful that, hey, they're going to try to get me on another plane. And we're walking. Sure enough, I hear them say, oh, it's. We've got you another plane. And it's like a long walk to a different terminal. And there is a herd. There's a herd of us that's moving across the airport. And there was this really upset lady walking next to me. And she goes, are you on that flight that just had DeBoer? And I said, yes, ma', am, I am. I'm going to Dallas. And she goes, I can't believe this. And she started complaining. I said, well, yeah. I said, you know what? God's got a plan. I'm sure God has a really good plan for Us. And. And she smiled. You know what? You can be a joy sparker. You can defuse a situation. I could have really reacted in that situation with that guy skipping me, which probably wouldn't have bugged me, but I think I was already on that fight or flight mode where I was ready to mama bear to come out. But we can always diffuse the situation and we can always spark joy. That's with a smile. That's a reminder that God is good. That's with prayer, that's with gratitude. But I will tell you, I finally did get home and I was not expecting Ruby the next day to be in the car with my husband Johnny to pick me up. And let me tell you, she is the spunkiest, toughest, I mean, funniest girl ever. So she surprised me and showed up at the airport. And her eye is swollen shut. She's black and blue, her legs black and blue. And she has a hematoma. So it looks like one leg is bigger than the other leg. Her whole face is bruised and she has a scrape across her face. And the first thing she says is to me, to me is, yeah, you should see the other guy. And I was like, okay, you've got your sense of humor. You're making me smile. You're finding laughter and all of this. And then she starts walking and she goes, oh, look, mom, now I'm walking kind of like you. And I was like, okay, very funny girl. And so it was just a reminder that, you know what? And it's a reminder of how other people may have acted in the situation. We have a choice. We can decide we're going to play that victim role or we're going to be the victor. And we can decide whether we're going to let it, you know, get us down and freak out about the way it looks, or we can decide that, you know, like her. She's like, look, mom, I look a little like Beth from Yellowstone. Yeah, you know, she was being all tough. And I'm like, yeah, you are the victor. And you know what? Our kids are watching how we react. It's not how we react in situations that. Where everything's going our way and everything's great. It's how we are behaving, how we are reacting when things are not going our way, when things are not so great, when things are hard, when the challenges come our way. What kind of example are we going to be for our team, our, you know, our co workers, our family, even people on social media, your friends that are seeing you on social media and it was a good reminder that, you know, all the times where I could have felt sorry for myself or I could have, you know, not accepted the way that I looked. And I. I remember, and I'm sure maybe some of you saw this on my social media. I had two black eyes and nine stitches in my face, and I wasn't going to cancel on my live on Instagram, and I was not going to cancel the interview for the show for Jamie Kern Lima when I was interviewing her. And I think everybody looked a little surprised when I showed up looking the way that I did, but I was like, oh, well, life gets lifey and life must go on. And I was glad to see that my daughter had the same attitude. And, you know, she's at. She's back at school today. She did miss school yesterday. She didn't feel well. I think it kind of caught up to her. But she's got such a great attitude. And we get to choose our attitude. We get to choose how we show up, and we get to choose how we are going to spark more joy in ourselves and in others. And so there were just a few things I want to share with you. Things that you can do if you're going through a challenge and you're like, yeah, but Amberly, you don't understand. I have it really hard right now. Or, Amberly, you don't understand how much pain I'm in. Or, amberly, I don't have a job. Or Amberly, whatever it is, maybe these things will help, even if it's for a moment. And, you know, there are some times when I have to. I say the serenity prayer over and over and over. In fact, I have a sign over here. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference no matter what I'm going through, that helps. It helps shift my perspective. It helps me let go of what I can't control and focus on what I can control. And it also reminds me to fully rely on God, that God always has a plan. But I really want you to focus on that. Like, we can get angry or upset if we are so focused on things that are completely out of our control. Like, I was like, you know what? It is out of my control that we're having to deboard this plane. It was completely out of my control that Ruby's friends lost control of her truck. I focused on what I could control. You know, when you focus on things like your mindset, your joy Your faith, your health, then you are going to be resilient. Those are things people can't take away from you. And so focus on what you can control and let go of the rest. You know, when we focus on what we can't control, that's going to put us in. We're going to get anxious, we're going to get worried. But if we focus on what we can control, then we can take action steps to make the right decisions and move in the right direction. I. You hear me say this probably almost on every episode that I'm interviewed on, when people ask me, what do you do? I'm like, practice gratitude in real time. Like when the going gets tough, practice gratitude. You know, in that moment when I was really upset, I had to go back to gratitude. I'm grateful that I'm going to be on my flight. I'm grateful I'm not going to miss my plane, and I sure didn't, considering how they deboarded us. But I'm grateful that Ruby is okay. And you know what? She had to have a CAT scan. They brought. They, she, they thought she broke her eye socket. The CAT scan came back fine. She did not have a broken bone. So in the midst of worry, I really focused on, she's alive, she's safe, we're together. There's always something to be grateful for. Sometimes it just takes a little bit of searching. Find the joy in the little things. Like it doesn't have. You don't. I really want you to understand that we don't get joy when the circumstances are just perfect or we're. I'll be happy, I'll be joyful when I get this or when I get there or when I reach this destination. Joy is not about the perfect destination or the perfect circumstances. It's about choosing gratitude and purpose in the moment. And so, you know, choose the little things that it doesn't even have to be some big joyous laughing moment, but it can be a small chuckle. It can be a smile, you know, Ruby. Ruby's sense of humor, despite her pain, reminded me of just. It's how powerful it is to find joy in those small moments. It's not about ignoring the hard stuff. It's not that I'm not trying to pretend like, oh, let's be Pollyanna, that kind of attitude, but it's really about just looking for the tiny spark of light, even if it's just a shared laugh. Hold on to faith and uncertainty. You know, I am just reminded constantly. And I know y' all have Heard me talk about this if you listen to the show a lot. But you know, Ruby knows I got this little frog here on my desk and it reminds me she made this for me. And it reminds me fully rely on God. Also I have a note card that says God doesn't waste pain. And I anchor myself to God. And you know, I say a lot that I get on my knees and pray. And I actually started doing that because I used to lay in bed and pray. And one of my brothers from my. My sobriety brothers, not my like biological brother, but he feels like a brother from my 12 step meeting said that he gets on his knees and just the act of getting on his knees makes him feel more connected to God. Well, I get on my knees because it make. It reminds me of how small I am and how big God is. And it reminds me to fully rely on God. It reminds me to ask for. Ask God to speak through me and be a vessel of love and joy and bring, you know, bring people close to joy and love and him. And so, you know, hold on to faith in uncertainty. Whether it's delayed flights or life's curveballs. I'm telling you, faith is your anchor. And when things, especially when things get out of control. So trust that even when things aren't going your way, they're going to some way and it's God's way. And you'll find strength in that belief. And let resilience be your story. Like don't get caught up in, oh, you know, poor me. Let me put this on y'. All. Okay. Sorry I had to put my computer on. Do not disturb. I don't ever record this late at night. This is, I say late at night. This is kind of late for me. It's like 7:30 at night, so it's kind of dark out. And my computer. I said, you know, don't disturb until tonight. Well, it's night. Oh, the days are just flying by. But listen, don't let res. Don't become the victim of your circumstances. Be the victor of your resilience. Let resilience be your story. Life happens for us, not to us. You're stronger than you think. Your story is one of victory, not defeat. You decide you get to be the victor of your life. It doesn't matter what anybody else says. It matters what you decide. Look, I had so many people my whole life say, you'll never make it. You'll never achieve that. You'll never get out of a wheelchair. You'll never walk again. You'll never Work again. Oh, I can't tell you how many times somebody said I couldn't do something. Somebody said I'd not somebody, a lot of people said, you'll never write a book. You don't own a computer. Well, this is actually my third book. So if you want to write the book, start writing. If you want to speak on stages, start speaking. Create the world as your stage turn. You know what, you've got something called a phone. Turn your phone around and use this. This can be the speak into your phone, record it and post it on social media. Whatever you want to do. You don't have to wait for the opportunity. Certainly don't wait for somebody to ask. If you want to start doing a podcast, then start recording. And if you want help along that journey and to have some joy as well, then reach out to me and let me know how I can help you. Seriously, you can just shoot me an email. My personal email is amberlymberley lago.com now that's me getting back to you. It might take me a little while, but I will get back to you and I'll help you any way that I can. And hey, hey, I'm going to ask. It would really help me if you would pre order my book and in return you're going to get some bonuses that I created for you. It took me a while to come up with a companion playbook just for you. But not only that, you can be in the book club. You can go to go.amberly lago.com forward/joy to pre order the book or just go to Amazon. That's easy. I know it's one click away. Just click, done. You bought the book and then you can be in the club. So once you buy your book, just go to go.amberly lago.com forward/joy-book club. I think that's what it is. You know what, I'm going to put the links in the show notes. I'm also they're in my Instagram handle at Amberly Lago. My motivation, they're on my website@amberly lago.com so if you're out for a run, you're driving, listening to this, don't worry about it. You can get the link. But I would like to see you in the book club. I want wanted to create a space that's not just about reading a book, but a real community where we can gather, we can spark joy, we can lean in on each other. I'll be reading from the book, I'll be doing Q and A. It's going to be very, very interactive. And don't worry, I'm not going to sit there and read the whole time. We're going to create some joy. We're going to be joy sparkers and we are going to propel each other to new levels. So I hope to see you in the book club and I just appreciate you tuning in. Thank you for being here on this journey with me. And, you know, thanks for listening to the show. It means so much. And I'm going to tell you, I mean, I'm going to be honest with you. Sometimes I'm like, I don't know if anybody listens to the show. Do people listen to the show? And then every once in a while, I will have somebody message me or I will see a review and I'm like, oh, my goodness, that show resonated with them or they listened to that episode or so. I just want to say thanks. I really do. I appreciate you being here and it's because of you that this show is a top 1% podcast. It's because of you. So can't wait to see you in April for the event. I will have these cute sweatshirts. I will have these cute choose joy necklaces. I'm so excited to have swag. So excited. I'm so excited to see everybody. And if you're a big fan of Trent Shelton, like I am Renee Rodriguez, like I am Brooke. Oh, my gosh, she's one of my best friends. Hemingway. Like I am Tamara Andres. And we've got so many surprises that I'm not even going to say right now because I want it to be a surprise. Maybe I'll tell you another time, but I want it to be a surprise. But I have a list of people that are going to be there that it's just going to h. We're going to create unstoppable success together. So thanks for tuning in to the show and I will see you next week.