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Season 6, Episode 278

From Trauma to Triumph: Erika Rothenberger's Journey of Resilience and Audacity

55:08

About This Episode

In this episode of The Amberly Lago Show, Amberly welcomes Erika Rothenberger, a multi-talented powerhouse who embodies grit and grace! As a TEDx speaker, podcast host, author, and serial entrepreneur, Erika shares her journey of intentionality and resilience in pursuing dreams. With her background in engineering and her active role as a wife and mother, she demonstrates the importance of taking actionable steps towards goals. Amberly and Erika discuss the significance of commitment and the drive to succeed, inspiring listeners to be audacious in their pursuits. Tune in to discover how to embrace your ambitions and sustain your success!

"We have a one in 400 trillion chance of being on this earth... God didn't put just a couple of us here. He put us here for an exact reason."

Follow Erika

  • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/erikalearothenberger?igsh=MXFyMzAyNnljdGc2cQ==
  • Website: https://www.erikarothenberger.com/

Thank you for joining us on The Amberly Lago Show: Stories of True Grit and Grace! If you find value in today's episode, don't forget to share the show with your friends and tap that subscribe button so you don't miss an episode! If you are ready to leave your mark by discovering your message and sharing it with the world, you've come to the right place!! Let's work together to build your influence, your impact, and your income! Join the tribe you have been waiting for to activate your highest potential and live the life you deserve!

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Full Transcript

0:02
Amberly Lago

Welcome to the Amberly Lago Show. Stories of true grit and grace. Okay, y', all, thank you for tuning in to the Amberly Lago Show. I have one of my favorite people on the show today, actually. She is like my soul sister. We met and we have so much in common. And I've got Erica Rothenberger here with us. And Erica, you're going to find out we've got more in common than you. No, because I was digging deep to find out more stuff. But, y', all, if you're ready to learn how to be audacious and to have grit to go after your dreams and resilience to sustain that success, I've got the perfect person here today. She is a TEDx speaker. She's a podcast host. She's an author. She's got an event coming up. She runs a wellness company. She's an serial entrepreneur. She's also an in engineer, a wife, a mother. She's very involved in her kids school. Like, she basically wears a cape. So, Erica, thank you for being here on the show today. I just. This is long overdue. I've been wanting this for a long time, and we finally made it happen.

1:19
Erika Rothenberger

Oh, I'm so excited to be here. And the universe put it right at the right moment. I can't be more joyful, especially with everything going on in your life, to be on this podcast today, today.

1:28
Amberly Lago

Oh, well, thank you. You always have lots going on, too. And, you know, I really think there are not a lot of people out there, honestly, that actually do it, say, do what they say they're going to do, or they have a dream and they actually take the action to get towards it. And you are very intentional with everything that you do, whether you say, I'm going to write a book and you write a book, I'm going to start a podcast. And I want to really see that podcast soar. You do it. When I was working with you in the Mastermind, you're like, I have a goal of doing 12 paid speaking gigs in the year. And lo and behold, you're like, bam, bam, bam. Speaking on all these stages. Can you tell me, like, how did you develop that grit and resilience? Do you think? So? Do you think it's in your DNA or do you think that it's something that people can really work towards and. And build upon?

2:33
Erika Rothenberger

Well, listen, I think a lot of us can be born with something, but at the end of the day, it's the discipline and the consistency that really makes us, because anyone can do anything Right. I always tell my kids, I use the word, everything's figureoutable. Don't look it up in Webster's. I'm not sure if that's actually.

2:52
Amberly Lago

Marie Forleo wrote a book called.

2:53
Erika Rothenberger

Called that. Well, then let's go. I mean, we can figure just about anything out that we want to. But to. To your point, Amberly, I think it's so easy to think that we want it, to say that we want it, but actually then to do the actions behind it that really come true to make those things come to fruition. So, yeah, maybe I got an extra strand of DNA, but at the end of the day, whatever strand you ended up getting, whatever was, you know, put in your shopping basket at the beginning of the day, to me, none of that really matters. To me, it's how you decide you're going to get out of bed and work towards those goals every day. And, you know, there's two things that I say. Listen, write it down every single day. I remember writing down, literally, to like, my knuckles were sore. I will be a TEDx speaker. I will be a TEDx speaker. I WILL be a TEDx speaker. Did it happen the exact year that I thought? Nope. Did it. It happen the month that I thought? Nope. But did it happen? Absolutely. And I truly believe what we put out to the universe ends up coming back to us when we do the. Not only put it out there, but then we do the hard work and the action behind it, especially the days that we don't feel like showing up.

4:01
Amberly Lago

Exactly. And, man, I love that you show exactly. Like, y' all have to follow her on Instagram, Seriously, because you will be so inspired because you were so active in your stories and you take everybody along for the ride. So follow Erica Rothenberger on Instagram, Facebook, too, whatever. But. But I love. I'm an Instagram girl, so I love seeing you there. And that'll be in the show notes as well. But I love that, like, you show yourself journaling and writing things down and then. Or take a picture of it. You show yourself at 4 o' clock in the morning busting your butt to go work out. I mean, you know, you're not one of these people that is all talk. Like, you show the action that it takes behind it. And, you know, my grandfather used to always say, you've got a shovel in your hand and you can lean on it and pray for a hole, or you can start digging. And that's kind of, I think, what he meant. Like, you write things down, but then you Take the action. And one of the things that I love about you is you. You. You'd ask me a question and I'd be like, oh, yeah, do this and this. And you're like, okay, done. Like, amazing. Like, you are one of the hardest workers I have ever met. I mean, you really are. And then you came up with this word that describes you perfectly. Audacious. Like, I think when I think of you or anyone thinks of you, it's like this big ball of amazing audacious energy. You're so energetic. Where do you think you. Or what. When did you first come up with that word? And what does it mean to you?

5:47
Erika Rothenberger

Such a good question. And, you know, I'll preface it here. You know, audacious. Sometimes I think we think that it has to be big and ginormous, and it has to be writing the book or writing the marathon or doing all the big things. But audacious can be just the everyday, bold, brave things that we're willing to do, that we're willing to show up, we're willing to every day decide to take that 1% more than we did the day before and make this a compounding effect. And really, when I think about audacious, and I think about what that word means, having that audacity to be you, to show up, to live in the version that you have dreamed to be. And I know that's not easy because there's the big four letter F word, right? Fear. We all fear. Like, what is everyone going to think? Or if I put it out there and tell someone I'm writing a book and I don't write a book, are they going to think I'm a. Again, going to the F word, a failure? No. Like, we're all meant to sometimes be redirected. But if you never put it out there and you never start and you never decide to expand yourself to those limits, think about what's going to happen. Because if not now, when? If not you, then who? Someone else is going to do it. And do you want to watch someone else live their dream, or do you want to live your dream? So when I think of audacity, I think of people like yourself, Amberly, who are showing up and doing the hard work when no one's watching, showing up and deciding to take, you know, the bold action when they want to throw the towel in, and then deciding to say what really aligns with me, what makes me tick, what makes me fulfilled, and how can I then go and do that, not just for myself, to check a box but because it's going to serve other people. Because by people not acting audacious, you're basically saying no to someone else that may need your light. And I've been through a lot of trials and a lot of tribulations in my own life. And I think that's really what led me there, Amberly, is I said, listen, I now, when we get to serve other people, it comes back to us tenfold. And I used to hear that and think that that was a bunch of gobbledygook and like, you know, just some fairy dust. And I've witnessed that so much in my life by being surrounded in masterminds like yours with the, you know, unstoppable women and groups and just expanding and being around those people. So, you know, audacious doesn't always have to be big and bold, like every single day, but it's deciding to go towards the big and bold thing and then doing the little consistent actions every day to get there.

8:34
Amberly Lago

Oh, I love that and I love that you brought that up because I think it's a good, like, a lot of thing. A lot of times I think people do think it's like the big bold move and. And I actually think that, like the big idea or the big first step, that's. That's almost, I think, easier than the quiet behind the scenes, steady every day, consistent, audacious action that it takes to sustain something. You know, I think that reaching success in some way is. Is great, but how do you sustain it? And I think that's where your resilience comes in. And I would like to touch on a story so listeners know exactly, like one of the things, one of the many things that you have been through that. And I wonder if it was an eye opener for you or a Of clarity where you're like, oh, we've only got this one life. And I bet I am going to be audacious. I am going to be an example of resilience for my children. Can you take us back to the day that you thought that maybe it was your last day on earth?

9:50
Erika Rothenberger

And Emily, I know you and I share stories of that, those. Those days or that day that, you know, we both share that common thread. And, you know, my day was on June 16th of 2022, a day like any other. You know, I drove to work the exact same way, Amberly, I.

10:06
Amberly Lago

And that wasn't that long ago.

10:08
Erika Rothenberger

No, two and a half years ago. And our little, I guess almost now three years in June, but, you know, you know, drove to work the exact same way I had the kids with the sitter. My husband was in Kansas City. It was a beautiful, like, summer day. And some people, you know, would think that, you know, I was probably in the middle of the city at 2am in the morning. But I will say that I had gone to a coffee meeting. It was 10am when I was pulling into my parking lot at work. And prior to that, I was at a stoplight. And I had left my kids a message reminding them to have the most magical and amazing day. And I'll never forget that message, because I still have it. Because when I tell this story, that could have been the last message I left them. And there was something that was tapping me that day, whether it was the universe telling me to leave them that message. So I pull into that parking space, I take that last sip of lemon water with the Himalayan sea salt that most of you are saying, ew. I promise you, it's really good.

11:08
Amberly Lago

It sounds good, right?

11:10
Erika Rothenberger

Grab my stuff, checked my phone, and then I go to open my car door, and there he is. A man I had never seen before. And I said those last five words. Sir, can I help you? And those words were the last words I said before he punched me in the face, grabbed me by the hair, threw me to the asphalt pavement, and literally proceeded to beat me. And trying to. That first punch, I tried to turn away. That second punch, I tried so hard to crawl away. And that third punch, I could feel the blood, the saliva, and the tears just ripping through me as I tried to punch and scream and get away. And I realized that I was really a rag doll to him and no longer a human.

12:06
Amberly Lago

Wow.

12:08
Erika Rothenberger

And, you know, in that moment, I really thought, to your point, that this could be my last moment. But when it really, like, hit me was when I saw him take the crease of his elbow and put it under my neck.

12:23
Amberly Lago

Oh.

12:23
Erika Rothenberger

And know that that was probably my last breath. And just praying to God that my kids and my husband and all of my beloved friends and family would be okay. What probably was 3 milliseconds ended up feeling like 3 minutes in that time. And again, I truly believe I passed out at that moment after him putting me in a chokehold. And God in the universe said, it is not your time, Erica. It's not your time. And I felt like an elephant on my chest and all these bright lights coming towards me and everything. Getting up on my feet, knowing he was feet away from me, this man in my car, not knowing if he would chase me with a gun if he would follow me, like, what was the next step he was going to take? And I proceeded to run with all my might, Amberly, into the office building that I'd worked for over a decade and screamed bloody murder. Someone please help me. And just Remembering the next 48 hours was such a blur. I mean, there was police, there were detectives, there was getting rushed to trauma, you know, all of the things. And he ended up escaping by foot. And literally about a quarter of a mile away from my office actually was burying himself in the large marshes. They sent the drones in and the dogs in. And what I didn't know, Amberly, is that the night before, he had assaulted four women.

13:55
Amberly Lago

Wow.

13:55
Erika Rothenberger

And that morning of. Had actually raped another woman.

13:58
Amberly Lago

Oh, my goodness, you are so. I almost said lucky, but what a blessing that that didn't happen. I mean, I. I just. I don't mean to say lucky. That sounds terrible. But also, like, I didn't know the part where he put his elbow in your neck. And to me, that almost makes me think maybe he. He did this a lot because he knew, like, it was easier with the elbow than the. The hands maybe. I don't know.

14:32
Erika Rothenberger

He was actually an ex boxer, which he had been in prison for 12 years prior.

14:39
Amberly Lago

I didn't realize he was an ex boxer.

14:41
Erika Rothenberger

And he had actually beat up five prison guards, and they let him out prematurely from jail because he was in jail for drug dealing back and forth across state borders. And so, yeah, all of this has come to fruition since. And the craziest part is, you know, Almost, you know, 30 months later, Amberly, I am still going to court with this man, and he still doesn't even have a final sentence. Now he's not out on the street. He's in a correctional facility. But not only myself, but all the other survivors and thrivers, I will say, we're not victims. You know, all have been going through this trial and tribulation. So to your point, yes, that was such a day I'll never forget. June 16th of 2022. And most people, their first reaction is, I'm so sorry. And of course, it would be any of our reaction. But I say, listen, the universe gave me another chance. God wanted me here and was like, stop playing small, Erica. It is. I am giving you another chance and another platform to be that light, to be audacious, to do all of the things that you've been putting off because you thought, I can do it next year, I can do it next month. And he said, this is your time.

16:01
Amberly Lago

Yeah.

16:02
Erika Rothenberger

And I truly believe it was a gift in so many ways. Amberly.

16:06
Amberly Lago

Well, think of all the lives that you're impacting now. I mean, you are always doing a lot. You've always done a lot. But now you're speaking on stages across the country, you're doing podcast interviews, you're sharing on your own podcast, you're hosting your own event, you're writing another book, like all of these things. So you have truly turned a tragedy into triumph. Now, there are some people that get stuck into that victim mentality. So they would take a situation like this and they would play victim for the rest of their lives, or they would walk around in fear for the rest of their lives. They would not be audacious. They would maybe even not want to leave their house. I mean, I just saw my. My poor little nephew was over last night, and we have this new puppy. And when we were watching my daughter's dog, it's a little Chihuahua, the cutest little Chihuahua you've ever seen. But this little Chihuahua was a land shark and went and, like, attacked my little cousin. He's my little cousin, not my nephew, my little cousin. And I didn't realize that, really, I think kind of traumatized him a bit, because when he came over to meet our new puppy, he was really kind of scared to go. I'm like, it's a Labradoodle. She's really sweet. Like, you can pet, you know, what do you think it is in you that some people, they stay in that the trauma almost consumes them and they are in fear. And what determines, like, you became audacious, audacious and resilient. What do you think someone could do to be more audacious and more resilient?

18:00
Erika Rothenberger

Right? And I think in order to be more resilient, I think so often we hear this term so much. Be resilient. Be resilient. Be resilient. And you're like, how? Right? Like, last time I checked, I couldn't go on Amazon prime and buy it in two days. I couldn't pick it up at Walmart. It wasn't a strand of your DNA. And yes, some of us might have stronger, like, but to me, it's the audaciousness. Being bold and being brave every day and doing those little consistent actions, working on your mindset every day, working on yourself, knowing that at some point we all have had our punch or we're going to have our punch. And whether it was your motorcycle accident or whether it was my punch or whether it was someone else on this podcast, that has a child terminal illness, or just lost a parent or lost a spouse, like, we all have punches in our life, but if we're not working on ourself every day, right? And we're not building that muscle resiliency, just like going to the gym, just like eating healthy, just like reading 10 pages a day versus like saying, hey, listen, I'm going to sit down the weekend and read an entire book, right? It's the little things that we're doing every day. And what I looked back at is the moment it switched for me because I wanted to be that victim. I remember those first couple days like I was in victim mentality. Why did this happen to me? Why did God do this to me? Why am I in this space? But it was about 72 hours later when I was sitting in my gazebo and on a warm summer day with a huge hooded sweatshirt on, with my wounds healing. And in that instant, I heard the giggle of my four kids, of my two kids. I heard their giggles in the pool. And I realized I wasn't just doing this for me. How was I going to be an example for them? And would I want them to see someone who decided to take the victim mindset? Because people are watching us all the time. And I recognize that I not only needed to serve Drew and Adeline, but I needed to serve so many more. And I think when you take yourself out of that equation, and I'm not saying that you can't be sad or you can't mourn or you can't go through hard periods, it's not what I'm negating. But I'm saying once you get through that level of dealing with the pain and dealing with the trauma and getting the therapy and the help that you need, what's your bigger mission? We have a 1 in 400 trillion chance of being on this earth, Amberly. God didn't put just a couple of us here. He put us here for an exact reason. And to me, if you really dig into that and say, listen, I was put here for a bigger purpose. That's my why. Every day,

21:05
Amberly Lago

do you suggest that someone figure out and focus on their why to give them the strength and courage to move through?

21:15
Erika Rothenberger

Yeah. And what was your setback? That is the setup for yourself and other people who need that message. Right. That punch that day, to me, you know, wasn't because God was trying to punish me. It was because God was like, listen, this is going to help someone else. And I know it's not easy to reverse that script but to me, it's the work that we're doing every day on ourselves, for ourselves, to be able to, when that punch hits, be able to react to it and have that level of resiliency. So when we show up audacious, when we show up bold and brave every day. And again, that can mean the little things, right? Getting up 15 minutes early and working on yourself, taking that workout, doing those little things so you can show up and be more resilient.

22:08
Amberly Lago

Well, what would you suggest to someone who is in fear? They're like, I hear what Eric is saying, but I'm scared to death to even take the first step. What would you suggest for them to do?

22:22
Erika Rothenberger

I would say, listen, you know, you don't want to tell anyone else. Again, going back to just being. Starting with what you're grateful for right now. What are you grateful for right now? And how could you serve if you had no fear? Write a letter to yourself every day. You know, invest in yourself every day of what are the things that you want to manifest and what are the things you're going to do? Even if you're not willing to go out and put it out into the world or show, share it. Because to me, just by writing it down, you're 43% more likely to make it happen and then just share it with someone else that you do trust. Because it doesn't mean it's going to happen that month or that year, but inevitably. So if you believe it enough, it will. And if you tell someone else, you're 78% more likely to make it happen.

23:13
Amberly Lago

Well, I love that you said, what, 43%. It's more likely going to happen by just writing it. Okay, I'm gonna tell my assistant that because she is young, you know, and she doesn't use anything like this beautiful paper calendar that I have. And she makes fun of me, too. Okay, look. And they're both highlighted. Both highlighted marks on there. Well, because I. I need to write it down. Because when I write it, it gets ingrained in my head. But also. Yeah, just like when you write every morning and you write journal. I've. I've been. You know, I didn't know what journaling was when I was 8 years old, but I had a diary, and I started writing in a diary every day. And it. I had no idea that parts of my journal would actually end up in my first book. So you never know. Like, I wrote, like, thinking, no one else is ever going to read this. Lo and behold, I go and publish a book and put Some of it in there, but I think that it is true. Like, so whether you're writing out small steps throughout the day just to work towards a goal and, and look, I always say if something scares you, run towards it. But I think it's really, really important to. I think people say, well, I want to write a book. And they just focus on just that whole book being on the shelf, being published, being, you know, USA Today bestseller, instead of thinking, okay, maybe one paragraph at a time, one page at a time, you know, And I remember when I first had to learn to walk again, um, it was just literally lifting my leg off the bed for seconds at a time because I thought I was going to be paralyzed forever. And so I think it's really important, and I'm so glad that you said that. So everybody listening, start writing. It's powerful. It is so powerful. Whether you are overcoming fears or you're working towards your goals or you're just brain dumping. I know for me, sometimes I just need to brain dump and get it out on paper.

25:41
Erika Rothenberger

But for sure, I think Kimberly, too, it's. It's it using, like you said, using your pen and paper. And what are those goals? And trying to come up with one of those goals. Like this year I was really strategic with. I have a lot of goals, right? Like anyone that's listening to this I know is like, you have a lot of goals.

25:59
Amberly Lago

Like, that's a shocker. Are you serious? I always love that you have a lot of goals. You're like, I'm doing this and this and.

26:09
Erika Rothenberger

But as like. And I know you bring the most high caliber people on this podcast. So anyone that's listening right now, I know you have a lot of things right. There's a lot of things, especially if you have an entrepreneur brain. But what I really tried to do, and it's really helping me this year, is I had a lot of subset of goals, but I came up with three major goals like that I wanted to work on. Yes, I want to be a good mom and a good wife. And you know what I mean, like all of like the, the foundation. But what were like three things that I really wanted to accomplish this year? And every time I'm getting ready to say yes to something else that might be four or five or six, that this shiny object gets in front of me, I say, does it align with one of those three? And is it going to take me off course of one of those three? And to me, that's a really good place to start. So. Really think so. Say you have like all of these things running through your head. What are the like two, two or three things that like without a doubt, it's December 31st of 2025 that you want to say, damn, I accomplished it. And then ask yourself every day, what are you doing? To your point, if it's a book, am I writing a page a day, am I reaching out to publishers, am I putting it out into the universe? Right. Am I actually doing the little steps every day to get me towards that? That.

27:31
Amberly Lago

Yeah. And you know what I've discovered like more than ever is I, I think that distractions are the enemy of momentum. And so I have had, you know, the thing that has helped me so, so much is I finally have this great assistant that I love and she's, she's hardcore man. She means business and she, she is like a gatekeeper with me, with my schedule. And one day I was on calendly trying to change my schedule and I was like why won't this work? Why can't I fix this? And blah blah, blah. Well, she's actually blocked out time that from 5 in the morning till 7am that's my time for my health, for my meditation, for my writing, for my gratitude practice, for whatever it is to take care of me in the morning, that's my time. And then from 7 to I think 9 or something, it's administrative time. And I just, oh, I just accepted an invitation. I'm doing this masturbation collab I'll have to tell you about Erica. It's amazing but they wanted we're doing like me, Brooke Hemingway and Patrice Houston were doing a collab podcast share about it and I accepted, accepted it on my calendar as a yes. And it said this conflicts with your time off. And I was like holy moly. My assistant has given me time off.

29:07
Erika Rothenberger

I love that. And you know, I don't have an assistant that rides me that hard. But I will say what I do have is myself. And one of my check ins is on Sunday, Saturdays or Sundays. I spend a solid hour looking at my calendar for the next week and everything's color coded. But my first primary is when am I putting in my self care, when am I making time for my significant other and my kids and then what on my calendar can I actually take off and say no to with just a period? No, I can't do it. Or is it something I can actually move to a week or two later? Because at that point it doesn't need to get done that week. Week. Yeah, your point I think that's so important to defend that time. Defend your time first, then your family's time and then your job. You know what I mean? Or your entrepreneurship or whatever you're working on.

30:02
Amberly Lago

Oh, oh, yeah, for sure. And I mean, honestly, this is the first time in my life I've ever had anybody help me with my schedule. I've always been. I'm the one that has to do it. And to be honest with you, I wasn't very good at it. And I would work like. I'm not gonna lie, there was times I would work like 18 hour days. It was like burnout.

30:24
Erika Rothenberger

Burnout.

30:25
Amberly Lago

I know it. It was leading to burnout. That's what. Yeah.

30:29
Erika Rothenberger

Guilty of it.

30:30
Amberly Lago

Yeah. Yeah. And so it helps. But yeah. I think I always remember dea, like delegate, eliminate, and then automate. What can you automate in your schedule so you're not doing it by like, I had it. I don't know. For you, you've always been. I mean, being an engineer, being miss. I mean, you're so smart. You're Miss Smarty Pants. You're used to being in the workforce. And like, I didn't have my computer until like. Well, it's been almost seven years now. Seven years. But it was a lot to learn for me. Um, are there things that you have learned to do, like to automate to make your life more simplified?

31:17
Erika Rothenberger

Yeah. And I honestly. Part of that. Again, this is such a simple one without any master tools. But what can I outsource? Like, if I. Yeah, I have brownies that need to be baked for the bake sale on Thursday. What? Mom out there has a company who's an entrepreneur who I can support and have her bake my brownies because I don't want to bake them.

31:41
Amberly Lago

Yeah, I'm right there with you.

31:44
Erika Rothenberger

Right. Like, I don't mean that like in we or like. I remember feeling so guilty. I'll never forget, like 20 years ago. I remember maybe not 20, maybe 15 years ago. I was sitting down with these like, executive women and I was like, oh, my goodness. And we were talking and I was like. I said something about the next day having to go home and make sure, like, my house was clean. And they're like, what, you don't have a cleaning? Like someone that comes in and cleans your house? And I'm like, no. And they're like, why? With everything that you have, they're like, do you enjoy it? I'm like, no. And they're like, outsource that. Like, so what Outsource like just right away that you can say no to. But give the business. And the way I look at is I'm giving the business to someone else who's building their dreams.

32:25
Amberly Lago

Yeah.

32:25
Erika Rothenberger

Don't look at it like, oh wow. Like that's someone's owns a cleaning business for a reason.

32:31
Amberly Lago

Exactly.

32:32
Erika Rothenberger

You know what I mean? And I think also having structure to your point, like to me getting up at the same time every day and having a routine of the things that I'm going to follow, I think really helps. And using things like calendly. You know what I mean? For your calendar and using. You know, I'll be honest with you, I'm still like pen and paper. But I loved. We went to Brooke Hemingway's event and we got this big ass planner, right.

32:56
Amberly Lago

How come I didn't get that?

32:58
Erika Rothenberger

Like this huge. You know what?

32:59
Amberly Lago

I know I. That's Jesse Itzler's planner.

33:03
Erika Rothenberger

Yeah.

33:03
Amberly Lago

And I'm really bummed. I'm gonna message Brooke because I know she had. Because I was one of the speakers and she had a bag for me and I didn't ever get it and I. Brooke always gives really good gifts and I've been kind of sad about that. So I might have to message her and say I'm really sure you get

33:24
Erika Rothenberger

one pronto because it's like one of like my favorite gifts. And literally they have.

33:29
Amberly Lago

He has one that's like for, I know, size. But you know what, Erica? When I saw the wall sized one, I was like, yeah, but I don't know if it's big enough for everything

33:42
Erika Rothenberger

that I put on my calendar.

33:44
Amberly Lago

But you know what? I'm working on that. I am working on that. On saying, you know, delegating, automating, saying no, that's a powerful word for you hire.

33:54
Erika Rothenberger

That can like to you to your point, right. That like, like my wellness business, right. Like I have auto ships that go out. Like, I don't do all of that. That automatically goes out. Like what systems can you build that can be put in place to make your life easier, right?

34:10
Amberly Lago

Oh, heck yeah. I mean I was just talking to. So on Sundays I meet with my executive assistant and we sit right across from each other and we're just like getting stuff done. I mean it's. It's awesome. But she was talking to me about I've got hoodies and necklaces and all this stuff and. And she was talking to me about shipping the books out and stuff like that. And I said, no, no, no, no. I was like, I'm not In the business of mass producing hoodies and shipping them out or books. I said, I did that with my first book. I said, that's why I have a company that they deal with the auto shipping of all the Now I have some for swag for my next event. But I was trying to explain to her I'm not in the business of going back and forth to the post office mailing off stuff. I don't want to be in the business of printing T shirts and hoodies. So that's for somebody else who loves it. I mean, they love it. Our friend Lori McAfee who was in our mastermind, she does that now and she loves it. Actually, that's where I got my hoodies was from Lori. But I don't want. Oh, she's amazing. Yeah, big shout out to Lori right now. But yes. And I can also refer you to the company that I use for T shirts, hoodies, hats. I'm about to do a big Everybody's about. I hadn't even shared it yet. You're the first person to know, Erica. But you know, you and I get together and we're just like, and this idea, and this idea and this idea. So, okay, we're.

35:49
Erika Rothenberger

I want to put it on our big ass planners.

35:51
Amberly Lago

I know, I know, I need one of those big ass planners.

35:56
Erika Rothenberger

I just love the name Emily at the end of the day, you know, so someone's on this podcast, like, okay, do I use the biggest planner? Do I do this, do I do that? Just start, right? Start by writing those things down, aligning, defending your time and making sure. I always say, listen, like, you know, find 30 minutes a day to work towards one of those dream goals, right? Everyone can find 2% of their day. Get up, get up 15 minutes early, go to bed 15 minutes later, there's your 30 minutes, right? So if you're like, don't even know where to start, start there. 30 minutes. And I always used to say when I was, you know, running some big teams, right, I had a four square method every day, four 15 minute blocks. It was like four quarters. But those 15 minutes, you better work so hard during those 15 minutes, right? And when you say that to someone, they're like, yeah, I can find four 15 minute blocks in my day. But you ask someone to sit down for an hour, it's like, I don't know if I have an hour today, right? Like, find the time, defend the time, but also find out when your time is best. Like, for me, it's first thing in the morning. I'm not telling everyone you have to be get up at 3:45 with the chickens. But for me, that's what works.

37:08
Amberly Lago

Well, it's because I think too Erica is. Because that time is your time. And you know, it's your time. It's uninterrupted. I feel like when I wake up and it's. And I'm like, okay, no one else is up except for Erica. But I swear, I'm like, well, Erica's up because you and I have exchanged like, voice memos at like, 4, 4:30 in the morning. But I feel like, oh, I don't. It's almost like this. Oh, this is my time. I'm not gonna get disturbed. But also, my husband knows if he gets up, I'm like, honey, like yesterday he got up and he was sitting on the couch and he started to turn. He turned the TV on, and I never have the TV on. And I was like, honey, this is my time. And I grabbed my laptop and my coffee and my stuff, and I was going. And he goes, where are you going? I said, I need to concentrate. I was like, I'm the kind of person, I need quiet. And so he goes, oh, no, no, no. Here you come in here. And he turned the TV off and he went back to bed. But I was like, thank Emily.

38:17
Erika Rothenberger

We are cut from the same cheesecloth in so many ways because we're the exact. If that happens. Like, my kids get up, even the dog sometimes I'm like, sure. Like, don't move. Like, this is my sacred time. It's like God's time, right?

38:29
Amberly Lago

Exactly.

38:31
Erika Rothenberger

Like, it's my. Like, it's when I think the clearest. And again, someone else. That time may be 10pm Find your time. Where's your zone of genius time? And that's exactly my time, right?

38:43
Amberly Lago

Yeah. And like, yeah, if it's important to you, you make the time to do

38:49
Erika Rothenberger

it right, you know?

38:51
Amberly Lago

Yeah. Well, talk about being cut from the same cloth. We really are. Okay, like, we think so much alike. Already knew that. But when you were little and you started a babysitting business, so did I. And then I love the fact that you were like, okay, well, this isn't really making enough money. I need to do something else. And so you started using your swimming pool to teach swim lessons. I did the same thing.

39:24
Erika Rothenberger

No way.

39:25
Amberly Lago

I swear. So I started babysitting when I was 8. And then I was a lifeguard. And then, oh, I don't even remember how old I was. I was young. I was. I think I started teaching Swim lessons when I was like, 13. I don't even know how. I don't think I was even certified, to be honest with you, back then. But. And I wasn't. We didn't have a swimming pool. I did it at the local country club. But I. When I heard that about you, see, I was stalking you.

39:56
Erika Rothenberger

You were?

39:58
Amberly Lago

I what? Did you know I was gonna know?

40:00
Erika Rothenberger

No. I love this, though. My wsi, my water safety instruction badge. And I felt like I was like something out of Baywatch, right? But the badges. Like, I would have my mom sew the badges on my swimsuit.

40:14
Amberly Lago

Are you serious now?

40:16
Erika Rothenberger

American Red Cross certified. I mean, there was no joking with this.

40:22
Amberly Lago

I love that. So I'm curious, though. Like, let's say there's somebody listening because you do so much. I mean, you do so much so many different things. What would you suggest for somebody to do if they're like, well, I'm doing this corporate thing and I'm just not feeling fulfilled? I would really like to get into coaching. What would be the first step that they could take to start their new path towards coaching?

40:51
Erika Rothenberger

Yeah. And, you know, I really think busy people get things done. So I think some people think I have to pick door A or door B, right? There's plenty of us, including myself, who's still in corporate America. People ask me all the time. They're like, how do you still run your entrepreneurial things and in corporate America? And I really believe busy people get things done. And they. To me, it's almost like when I was a waitress and a civil engineer in college, right? I needed both sides of it, right? Like, I literally would take. Throw my books, you know, after lab, in the car, race to waitressing, right? Throw my, you know, my apron on and, you know, all the tchotchkes that you had to wear, you know, back then. And, like, it's being able to say, hey, listen, I can do both. I can be a mom and. And an entrepreneur. I can be a businesswoman and write a book, right? It's just deciding, like, listen, you can have the audacity to have it all. It's one of my keynotes. You have to decide what you want. And if, say, you are working full time, you're like, I really want to be a coach, right? Start with that. 30 minutes a day of figuring out, how am I going to be a coach? Do I need to get certified? Where am I going to get my first clients from? You know what I mean? Like, just start doing a little bit of the work every day. And recognizing, listen, you work eight hours, you sleep eight hours. If you're really lucky, I know Emily or I don't really do that too well. That's an area that we both could work on.

42:18
Amberly Lago

I'm trying to work on that.

42:20
Erika Rothenberger

Right, but you have eight extra hours in the day. What are you doing with them? And are you watching dog videos on your phone or finding yourself embedded in Netflix series for four hours a night? Like, what else could you be doing with that time? If you want it and if Netflix or watching dog videos is your thing, all power to you. But if you are on this podcast, I think it's probably because you know you're destined for something more. But if you don't find that time, we all have the same 24 hours of the day. It's what you're gonna do with it. How are you gonna show up for it? And when you decide to show up to where you decide to do a little. To me, a lot of the things I do outside of work actually make me better in my full time job and also make me say it's good enough. I used to be like, oh, everything needs to be perfect. Now I'm like, nope, progress over perfection. It's good enough. Right? I don't meant over. Oh, is this post perfect? Because I don't have time to worry about perfect and perfect doesn't exist. Perfect baloney.

43:24
Amberly Lago

I always say perfect is boring.

43:26
Erika Rothenberger

Boring. Yes. Right. And just like balance is bs, I don't think balance exists. I don't think there's this perfect, you know, there's seesaw where we just find this perfect balance where marriage is perfect and our kids are perfectly happy and we're having these, you know, entrepreneurs successes and like everything. Right? Like sometimes it's going to go back and forth and it's really an integration. Right. And knowing that things are going to get out of balance and it's okay, right? There's times when you have to give more to this and less to this and more to that. And like there's days when I'm like, I just can't work my business the way that I want to because I want to be with my kids all day on Saturday. But you know what? I can find the time to get up an extra half an hour earlier while we're in the car going to that event, work on something from the car. But it's making that priority. I mean, Saturday night we're head, we were headed home from Turkey Hill Experience where, you know, we saw the kids, saw the cousins And I literally was working on a keynote that I'm delivering to Merck Pharmaceuticals next week and saying it to my entire family in the car. And they're so used to it by now. They're, like giving me round of applauses. And I mean, it's like, people next.

44:41
Amberly Lago

Okay, well, your family is better. More supportive, I guess should. I should say.

44:47
Erika Rothenberger

They just want me to be quiet, Amberly. So they're just like, yep, that was great.

44:52
Amberly Lago

I'm just like my family. Let me tell you. I. I just have to tell you really quick. So I found out. I literally found out. I got USA Today best selling author and right as I didn't realize that my little cute pup, Nugget, I was so caught up in the call, getting the news and bawling my eyes out that my little cute pup, nugget was under my desk. And I wondered why there. It was kind of blurry and cutting in and out. Well, she chewed through my Internet cable. And so my husband, I was like, oh, no. And my husband comes in and I was like, honey, I got. I got, you know, this bestseller. And I was like, oh, yeah, Nugget chewed through the wire. And he was just like, oh, he was so mad.

45:42
Erika Rothenberger

Just like yelling.

45:43
Amberly Lago

And you know what? So my family is just like, okay, yeah, yeah, that's fine. You know that. Whatever. I get home from a big speaking. A bit like my book signing, big speaking gig, and I'm like. They're like, yeah, well, you know, the dog pooped in here or go. The laundry's in there, or. You know what I mean? It's just like, it's very good. Because I'm like, oh, yeah, they really know how to keep me grounded and humble. Not that I'm not. You know what I mean?

46:17
Erika Rothenberger

Of course you are. You're so one of the most humble people I know.

46:21
Amberly Lago

But I'm just like, my family sure makes sure that I stay that way. Let me tell you, because. So I love that you are giving your keynote in the car and your family supported. What a way to, like, intertwine everything and get them on board for what you're doing. Because you are an example for your children of what's possible with all the things that you do. And I'm so excited. I mean, you are truly unstoppable and.

46:52
Erika Rothenberger

Well, and it's only because, honestly. And I want to make sure I give credit where it is due because, you know, Amberly we touched upon at the beginning of the podcast, but literally, I saw Amberly on Instagram and Was like, I again, the universe tapping me. You need to connect with this woman. Leaving her probably a. This is Erica Rothenberger. I know you don't know me type message on Instagram. And I will never forget sitting out of Beast BJ's Wholesale Club for, like an hour when I. I found out you were calling me. And literally emberly what you have done for me and for so many other people, the way you give your book, your mastermind, your speaking, your story, your grit, your grace, your joy, like, everything. Like, I just want to give credit where's credit's due, because you have opened my floodgates in more ways than I could have ever asked for. And so if anyone's listening to this and has been ever considering joining her mastermind or coming to one of her events or reading her book, like, I can't give you enough, like, acknowledgement, Erica.

48:07
Amberly Lago

Thank you, y'. All. I paid her to say that.

48:10
Erika Rothenberger

I'm still waiting for the check, ladies and gentlemen.

48:15
Amberly Lago

No, thank you. Well, I mean, I just working with you has turned into just this beautiful friendship. And. And you are such an example of just resilience and being audacious and unstoppable. And that's why I was like, erica, would you please come speak on the panel at my unstoppable event? And you said, yes. And I was like, oh, my gosh. I said, because I want to highlight all that you are doing. I mean, you are somebody that takes a little information and just runs with it. You just go with it. You are just such a go getter. And so I'm excited to have you speak at the event. I'm excited to see you. Maybe we'll do a flash mob dance or something again. Who knows? Who knows? We'll have to rehearse that. But I also want to mention that I'm super excited, excited to be speaking at your event in October. So I know we're running out of time. We got, like, a. But will you tell us.

49:24
Erika Rothenberger

Yes.

49:24
Amberly Lago

Like, when your event is, how people can be at your event. I'm excited. You have Leah Valencia Key there too, right?

49:33
Erika Rothenberger

I do, I do. And,

49:36
Amberly Lago

oh, yes, I've got on her necklace.

49:39
Erika Rothenberger

Julie and Amy are, like, doing. You know, you grow. And I mean, it's gonna be amazing. It is going to be such an audacious event. I can't wait to first and foremost, be at your event in. In April where hopefully so many of the listeners right now I get to meet. And then in October, October 17th of 2025, Greater Philadelphia area at one of like this spot, let me tell you. It's actually in Kanjohakken, which is on the outskirts of Philadelphia. Beautiful town actually the town where and my husband and I first lived when we got married and just at this hotel called Weston, Maine. And it is going to be an audacious day. If you are willing and wanting to get to that next level to be surrounded with the right women to think to that next level, to grow, to end 2025 super strong and start out 2026 even stronger. You need to be in that room because that room is going to be electrifying. It is going to be full of aud bold, brave, badass women who want to lift everyone as we rise and make sure we all walk out of there so much more powerful than we walked in. And with Amberly like keying off the event with like her all her goodness and greatness, it's gonna be absolutely remarkable. And I cannot wait to have so many of you there.

51:01
Amberly Lago

Oh, I can't wait either. And are you working on anything coming up?

51:08
Erika Rothenberger

Well, I may have a couple other things up my sleeve because just like you, I mean we can't like sit still too long. So I've always had, you know, the goal of actually writing my what I will say my real book because I always say your first book really isn't like your real like you know, what you really want to like build. And it's that this second book that I am feverishly and getting up those extra half an hours early notice I pluralize that to work on this book. And I cannot wait for its release in January 2026. So we're gonna have a pre release party. So there may be you know, some, some fun mocktails and you know, going on at the Audacious summit to, to bring it all into spirit.

51:56
Amberly Lago

Oh, that is awesome. And you know what January is like the best for for releasing a book because everybody wants that new thing to start the new year. So that's audacious you that. Oh that, that you are so incredible. Oh my goodness. Tell everybody the best way to find. And I'll put these links in the show notes so you can easily go down to the show notes and just find how to find follow Erica. But give us the link for people to find you your event and so that may maybe they can they'll be able to pre order your new book.

52:37
Erika Rothenberger

Oh absolutely, absolutely. So I would love for you to always will connect can love connecting on Instagram like Amberly, follow me on my stories. I show you all the behind the scenes, the nerd, dirty nerdy. Really, you know, gritty stuff. Behind the scenes, always. I love LinkedIn. I think it's one of the best platforms. And if you're not on it, you should get on it. But lastly, my website, www.erica with a k e r I k a rothenberger.com. check out the show notes and in there there's an event page. Find out all about the event. There's a link in there for you to start to get updates. Tickets are going to go on sale in April. Between April and May, I'm looking to, like, just like, bring in all those people. There's only going to be 20 VIP tickets. So if you are thinking, hey, I want to be in that room and I want to be there and I want that VIP bougie experience the night before rubbing elbows with some VIPs, maybe like, Amberly, you may want to grab your ticket early.

53:31
Amberly Lago

Oh, awesome. Well, thank you so much for being here. Any last words before we say goodbye?

53:39
Erika Rothenberger

No, I just. I just want to leave with, you know, the two words that you and I shared, especially at the beginning, and I know was the name of one of your books, but grit and grace. Be willing to be gritty and go after those things, be that sandpaper every day to work towards your goals. But let's not forget about the equation of grace. Let's not remind ourselves to give not only ourselves grace, but everyone else grace as we go through life. And if you combine those two ingredients together, it's really remarkable what you can serve. And that last word of my podcast is glitz. And that goes right along with the joy, the good greatness that comes every day. When you're willing to give grit, you're willing to give grace. The joy will follow with the. With the glitz.

54:23
Amberly Lago

Oh, that is awesome. Well, thank you, Erica, and thank you guys for tuning in. I appreciate you being here. It's because of you that you have made this show a 1% top 1% podcast. So thank you. Thank you for tuning in. And go look at the show notes. I'll also have the event in there for the unstoppable success summit. So you can see both of us in April in Dallas. Coming up, April 25th and 26th. Until next time. We'll see you later. Thank you for tuning in.

Pain to purpose to joy.

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