Connect In Every Conversation with Lou Diamond

Thank you for tuning in to the True Grit and Grace podcast. I'm Amberly Lago, and I'll be sharing inspirational stories of resilience and empowering ideas to elevate your business and your life, ignite your passion, and fuel your purpose. Hey, it's Amberly. Thank you for tuning in. I am so excited that you're here because this week I have one of my favorite friends on the show, and actually, I just got off of a call because he happens to be the very first presenter for the Unstoppable Life Mastermind as well. So we had this group call, this group coaching call, and Lou diamond came and poured so much wisdom into the Mastermind, y'. All. He. Everybody was taking notes. I was taking notes. So I know for this episode, you are really going to want to go grab a notepad and a pen and take some notes because he is teaching us how to connect, engage and win with all the interactions you face in business and in life so you can be unstoppable. He's got a new book just came out. I actually bought a copy for every single person in my Mastermind, because that's how good it is. It's called Speak Easy, and he teaches us how to speak easy and win with all, whether it's a conversation with your spouse or in business. But he's the top podcaster. In fact, I had the opportunity to be on his show, Thrive Loud. He's a consultant. He speaks all over the world. So I was really honored that he came to speak at the Mastermind. So it is just incredible to have him on. I know you're going to get so much out of this and tag me at Amberly Lagomotivation. Or you can tag Lou at Thrive Loud and let us know you heard it. When I see your story on Instagram, I share it in mine, and I just appreciate you being here and listening. So now, without further ado, let's welcome Lou diamond to the show. And here we go.

Thanks.

Well, Lou, welcome to the show. I have been looking forward to this moment. We've been friends for a while, y'. All. I have got the infamous, the one, the. The legend CEO of Thrive with us today.

Welcome to the show, Amberly. First of all, to be here is cool enough, but just to get a chance to actually see and see your smile. But, you know, most people get to see her on our social feeds when she does that, which she's doing right now, like, the ear to ear, it just draws you in. It's like the most energetic Thing, I'm like, yeah, whatever you want, you got it. You know, I can imagine the negotiating power you would have. You could be like, if someone's, like, not going to give you something you want and you're a little frustrated, you could break out those pearly whites.

And my goodness, really, I'm going to try that. Thank you for being here with us.

And I told you, you are welcome anytime I get a chance to talk to you. Amberly, you're inspirational. You're awesome. And I think this platform is great. And I think at the essence of what true grit and grace is all about, it's like. It's like I'm, like, I'm smiling ear to ear about it because I think. I think what you're doing in the world today is so needed. You and I connect is our sense of purpose to try to bring more of this great sense of gratitude and appreciation of other people through different means, different way you and I do it different ways.

Yeah.

And I like that overlap of where that is.

Yeah. And the way you connect with people. And that's what I want to get into is just the connections that you have built and. Did we first meet on Clubhouse? Is that how we met?

That is how we met. We were. We were in a room. This was.

I thought that was how we. But, I mean, you're. I feel like I've known you forever, but I think it's just because we became friends and then we instantly hit it off and have talked.

So this is actually a good, good way to kick it off, because how we met was really interesting. I was in one of those rooms, and there was. It was a group of women who were mostly up on the stage in Clubhouse who were frustrated that they weren't getting the opportunities to market, present or the speaking opportunities that they were looking for. And that was definitely the vibe that was going on in the room. And I have always not only been a proponent in my career, I've hired two times as many women as men, have worked for me in all the different aspects of my life. I was looking at the entire library of those guests that I've had on multiple programs that I've hosted, and more than 50% of the guests have been women. I have tons of friends in the speaking community who are all women and whatnot. So I was sitting there in that room, and I remembered, and I made an offer. I go, listen. Everyone was complaining. We have a very popular program. Anyone who can DM me right now and just connect and reach out to me, I will put you on the show. I want to. If you're a woman and you're looking to elevate yourself and elevate the brilliant minds of women, and that's actually what we ended up doing. And that's where we met. And I remember you and I were on the stage speaking at that point and. And I also couldn't get enough of Amberly's accent because, you know, even though she doesn't think she has one, I think she does. It has a little twang to it, but just the genuineness of that environment in the room. I'm always wanting to. When you bring worlds together and you bring people with different benefits and assets and different mixtures and flavors of all different things, there's so many great things that you can cook up and concoct together. And what I realized in that moment was that there were a lot of people who were not connecting to their intended audience. And I felt like I had to speak out because that is the purpose of why I'm on this planet. Amberly, I'll let your listeners know that I love telling people that I was put on this planet to work with the most amazing businesses, leaders and brands and help them thrive through the power of connecting. What that means in a functional asset of what I do. I'm a sales and marketing consultant, and I speak and write about connecting. I work with sales teams to help them better connect to their targets, marketers to better connect their message to their audience and leaders to better connect to their people. Because here's the cool thing. The skills and muscles and what you need to work on in a workout, if you would, to connect with others, they're actually all the same. There's different languages in those different worlds that I work in. And I realized that the skills of how you connect and how you can be a better connector is where great things happen.

Well, I'm so glad you're bringing this up, because I actually had somebody ask me, they said, amberly, you have all these connections, like, you're really good. And this surprised me because this lady was a very successful TV show host. And to look at her, I mean, she had a pretty big social media following. She's a TV host. She's meeting so many different people all the time. She actually asked me if I could teach her how to connect. And I've never been asked that question before. And so I'm curious. And I was kind of like, well, what do you mean? How can I teach you how to connect? Well, what do you mean? I was Like, I've never been asked that before. What do you mean? So what do you. What would you have said to her in that moment to, how do you learn to connect for someone who's not making connections or doesn't know how to maybe build those authentic connections?

So a perfect segue and a great way to talk about all the things that I've been doing and that is. And what you do so well. And the reason why she saw this is because it is not the things that Amberly does that makes her connect with others. It's not the things that I do, Lou diamond does to go connect with the people that I do. It's not certain tasks or things. Yes, you have to do certain things. You have to put themselves there. But at the core of what makes somebody want to connect to another individual or to a group or to community is a really interesting observation that I made. And I've been helping people understand how they could work on this because it sounds like, well, how can I get someone to connect better? What is it that you can do? And it's not what you can do. It's how you need to be when you understand. At the true connecting core that we have inside of us, we actually have connecting core muscles that draw people into us basically on the way that we act and the way that we approach certain things, a certain way that we need to be in the moment draws people in to want to connect with you because of the way you've positioned yourself in this world and basically the way that you're opening yourself up, if you would to allow yourself and let others in. Because here's the crazy thing. Someone once asked me, lou, you help companies out and all the. In the sales and the marketing leadership, and they're not connecting. What's the problem you're solving? Is it disconnection? Amberly, you're not going to believe this. Someone brought it to my attention. It turns out that the problem in the world that I solve is selfishness. And I said to myself, I go, is that really what it is? And it is. As a little kid, I couldn't stand when people were selfish if they only cared about themselves. I wanted everyone to play again together as a team. And we think about people when they're acting to themselves and not keeping their sharing their brilliance with the world. Maybe they're not getting their message out correctly because they feel they should be talking about themselves, maybe too much as opposed to maybe talking about how they can help others. And I started to break this down. I said, these are some of the ways that you need to be so that you can avoid being selfish and you can be a great connector. So if you'd like, I could walk it through you with you. Some of the ways you need to be. You want. You want to go through that?

Yes, I would. I mean, I really would. And I feel like when you. Well, I just feel like you can be a better connector and maybe this is one of the things you're going to walk us through. I feel like when people are really authentic and you can tell when they're. You know, even. This might sound silly, but even on social media, if somebody is just all the time with a filter on and I look, I love playing with filters. I even have a True Grit and Grace filter with it. You should try it out, Lou. It's got.

Well, it'll cover my bald head, so that'll be wonderful.

Oh, it's going to look so hot on you. Although I like. I love your. I love your haircut. It's great.

It's very tight.

I feel like. What are they hiding? Like what. I can't connect with them. What are they? What's the wall up? What's the. I don't know. There's just something that I'm not as connected with someone when I feel like you can feel a wall or a filter or barrier. So I'm just curious to.

I'm going to. I'm going to break them down.

Break it down and do in the

show so your listeners here on True Good and Grace can get a feel for the ways you need to be to be a better connector. Because that's at the end of the core. What it is, the way you need to be is actually what you need to work on. And when you work on those things, people will start to want to step into your world. The first thing is something that you and I do really well. And because we host two different programs, you have to start out initially when you're encountering and meeting somebody else, to be in two ways, which actually sums up to one other way. But I'll explain it in its components. You need to be asking and you need to be listening. You don't want to be in a spot where you come in and you need to be telling or be talking. Don't you hate it when you go to meet people in a networking environment or all they're doing is talk, talk, talk, or they're talking about themselves or they're saying how great they are, how great this company is, or that they.

I was Just at a networking event and I was being held hostage is what I felt like.

Exactly. Because what's happening here and now, this is that selfishness that is them talking about themselves. But let's flip it. When you meet that individual and when you approach someone in the mode of be asking and be listening, where you ask people questions to understand what they're about, ask them what they like, ask them what they care about, ask them why they're there, ask them where they come from, ask them what they like to eat, ask them where they should eat dinner, whatever it might be, think about what's actually happening. You're not talking about yourself. You're asking another individual to add value into this world. Whatever value it is. Literally just simple little things from what you might even want to eat versus what exactly do you do for a living or what is it that you do in this world? What is your purpose? When you start asking those questions and you start drilling and you start listening to these responses and you go into what's called focus listening, which is a coach like activity, by the way. Lots of leaders have learned this. When you are in a focus on what someone is actually speaking on and you're not bringing it to yourself. Because here's a crazy stat and you'll love this, Amberly. Most times when we hear something, we revert it to how it affects ourselves. This is actually called self listening. It's listening level one. And we do this 98% of the time. 98% of the time when we hear something, we think about how much it affects you. And just to prove my point, if when your listeners heard that and they go, 98% of time I hear something and I make it, I don't make it about myself, well, then you just prove my point. We always spin it back to ourselves. And that's natural because we were born this way. When we heard something in the forest and it might be eating us and we might, is it friendly or is it, do we need to run away? Like that literally was something that's our being that we have to know our world. But if we get out of ourselves and we focus on another individual and literally look at them, care about them, ask the questions, try to understand what they are about, be empathetic. When you do this, when you're asking and listening, or another word for this is to be curious. When you be curious, you're opening up the world of opportunity for another person to say, hey, this is someone I actually want to listen to. Why? Because 98% of the time we care about ourselves. We like when people are actually focused on us and listen about us. When someone is actually listening to us. Oh, my goodness. I want to continue engaging with this person, because guess what? This person actually cares about me. And by the way, it has to be real. This isn't just fake listening. This is like, I want to understand what it is. Be curious, step in. And that person that you're speaking to, your listeners right now, hearing me speak, are listening. Say, what is Lou talking about? What is he about? What is he sharing? That is the thing that you should be doing, and that's what you do. And that first step towards being a great connector is to be curious, be asking, and be listening. You do a great job of this, and you're actually one of the great connectors to your friend that asked this purpose of you. I actually watched you listen when you were on my show. When I asked you a question in the way you're doing it right now, you look, you're listening, and your brain is tinkering. Wait, I want to go further in that. You actually tried to spin the wheels on me when I was asking you questions, because you're like, wait, Lou, I want to learn more about what you're doing. That's a great listener and someone that loves to ask. And that's why. Because you genuinely care about other people. I state this. There are a lot of people who don't. That person who kept you hostage at that networking event or was talking to you was trying to keep your attention and felt that the way that they should do it was by talking about themselves.

That in politics. And I just don't really love talking about politics. And I'm like, dude, you got the wrong girl, right?

So. So when you start out this way, you open yourself up, and this is part of the way that people want to connect with you. We want to connect with people that will ask and listen. And when you come from that place, that's actually being like a great coach or a great therapist or a great person that works with you that really wants to understand and make you the focus. When that happens, you feel that attention, you feel that love, but also you recognize that this person actually does want to understand how they can help you.

I have a question, though. Are there better questions to ask? So for our listeners, I know you're out there going, well, what do I ask? Do I? You know, because, like, I get a lot of those networking events and stuff like that. People just go, well, what do you do?

Yeah, same question.

What do you do? What do you do? You know, and sometimes I just want to throw people off and just be like, oh, I'm a acrobat or something crazy.

Well, well. Or how about this? It's something like one of the icebreakers that I do. I'm. I just did this this past week. Very large company, and this is how we opened up the entire workshop. I go, go find somebody that you don't really know, ask them who they are, and something that nobody knows about a little bit like, you know, something in there. Now I'll use. I'll use myself as an example, when I met the particular person. I grew up in New York City and in the New York area my entire life. And for some reason, I love country music. So this is a little weird thing to have somebody from New York. It seems odd to love.

You might have even gotten beat up if you told anybody about.

You know, I could have. I had. I had some tough friends in Brooklyn, you know, who might have an issue with that. What kind of music you listen to. But. But the general point is if you find something unique about it or, you know, where. What did you have for dinner last night? What do you like to cook? Do you cook? Or, you know, if you were to have. What was your favorite meal? Like, something off the topic as opposed to. Yeah, because guess what? You will eventually get down the path of what they do or who you work for, where you come from. I like to basically state almost like your superpower when you meet somebody. I met this woman once. Her name was Viola. She goes, hi, my name is Viola. I love kite surfing and rock music and attending concerts. And I like. That was her icebreaker to me. And I had like 16 questions coming off the top. What. What type of rock concert did you go to? Kite surfing? Where do you do it? You know, how did you get into that? Those are the types of questions that you're actually going to then be stimulated with. So a good way to engage in a conversation that will get the questions and get you to start connecting is by introducing yourself with this uniqueness. Just. You don't need to say, hi, I'm Lou Diamond. I'm a professional speaker and a consultant. How about if I say, I love to connect, listen to country music and play golf every now and then, Stuff like that.

It's so true. It's so much more interesting when you do that.

You want to learn some other ways you need to be.

Yeah, so we got the first one. Second one.

So, yeah, yeah. So be asking, be listening, which is Be curious. The next piece is paired together too, which is we are attracted to people and we want to connect with people who have the ability to show fearlessness and agility. We want to see people who take the leap and have come through something difficult and moved through fear into courage. It could be an act that they've done in their career that was a game changer that didn't follow the regular norm, that a presentation was set in front of them. They adapted and they switched and they moved. We love hearing the changes that people made. We want to see that people actually face something differently. How do you verbally or communicate fearlessness and agility?

What do you think? That's because it gives people hope?

No, because it shows something really important, which is, I think we always love to see the best versions of ourselves and. And when we are able to adapt and move and when we are able to take a challenge and overcome it. You couldn't walk or we're told you couldn't walk or dance in your life, Amberly. And one of the things that people look at you as maybe the most fearless thing is that you overcame something incredibly unbelievable. And when people learn your story, when they learn why you do what you do now and why you've overcome it, they're not only drawn in to connect with you, but they also try to relate to themselves and understand. I want to embody that spirit of fearlessness. I want to be able to adapt from the path that I have to deal with. Agility. We look for people that are willing to move and not just stay still, that are constantly, as I love to say, moving onward and upward, they're thriving. So it is the way you need to be. When you even meet people, you can be fearless. Like if you normally are not comfortable leaning in and going to meet somebody, even just moving over and going to say hello to somebody and say that I'm usually not comfortable doing this, but I'd love to meet you. We love that. We want to connect with that. And if you're willing to learn or change or adjust the way you think about something and your agility, that is the things that we actually look to do. There's a very famous story in my sales career which got like blown up. It was written up in the Internet. When the Internet had first come down, I ran a sales team, went to a pitch to do something. We had a pre planned activity of what we were supposed to do in Amberly. We were like the last team to present out of like a whole day of activities. And I Saw the people in the room who had to present. They were in your state in Texas. They were exhausted, they were tired, they were fried. And I looked at them and told my team, I go, we're going to change what we were supposed to do. I'm not going to give the same thing. Just trust me on this. And I was agile and adapted and went into the room and gave a very, very, very short, quick thing, and then basically came out and said, look, you're tired, you're exhausted. I don't even want to bother another minute of your time. We just can't wait to start working with you. We brought support from our team. We got a whole bunch of people here, but let's get start working today. And then I walked out. My team and I were like, oh, my God, what the hell did you just do? Why did you do this? But the interesting part was, as crazy as that was, when I thought I might have been fired, I actually did what everyone knew we were supposed to do, but nobody had maybe the balls to say, I want to go do it. And I'm like, I'm going to go do this. I'm going to step up and do this. Because you need to. Needless to say, they saw it, too. And the client who we were actually presenting to hired us because we were considerate and we were very functional and showed that we could adapt in a situation that we didn't need to. People wanted to connect with us. People wanted to know why we did what we did.

And you weren't selfish and I was.

And I was caring about them. Correct. Very good. By being fearless and agile with a focus of listening and asking about what the customers really need. When you do that, you are connecting with them at their core, and you're showing that you're going to be a great partner to work with, who's going to adapt and adjust to the changes that this crazy world has. That's what we want to connect with.

Well, you do that in everything that you do, though, even with your show. I've done hundreds of interviews, hundreds of interviews on other people's podcasts. I've never seen anyone do it like you. And I've told you this before. Gosh, I want to learn to do that because you go like, you're so tech savvy. You're just so good at it, and you're so giving in all that you share with the guests that you have on your podcast. So seriously, go check out Thrive Loud because it is amazing. But just the way you do it and what you offer your guests. And I do. I mean, I do give my guest assets and stuff, like. But the way you do it. And then you redid it, and you had me on your podcast again, and you're like, amberly, I'm having you on again. You did like the. The best of. And I made it. Thank. Good. I was praying I'd make it, but I made it. But you do that in everything that you do. And I'm sure that that's one of the reasons that you're so wildly successful, is because you're so considerate of other people.

Well, and this is. This is the thing, and this is where I'm getting at. I'm trying to make a connection to your listeners. I'm using that word intentionally. That when we do these things in the way we need to be to be a great connector, that also means that we're going to be a great leader, a great salesperson, a great marketer. It is not a salesperson, marketer, leader. It's a great connector, a great communicator. And to your point, I want the show to embody everything that I know represents what being a great connector is and how important it is in the conversation. Because at the core of it all, Amberly, every connection in our lives begins with one great conversation you could drill it down to. That's where it begins. You and I had that exact experience on that clubhouse room, and we got to speak and then eventually had an interview and became friends and business associates and colleagues and peers to that. But this is a giving nature. This is to understand that the currency of connecting is help. And this is that part of selfishness. When you offer help to somebody, when you're in sales and you're trying to provide your services, you don't have to talk about how great your incredible gadget or service is. It's how it's going to help that particular individual that's being selfless and that is being a connector to see how you can help, to connect with them. When you go to meet an individual just for the first time who isn't focused on themselves and you're trying to help somebody else in that meeting, help to meet someone else, help to bring someone into a community, help your listeners to appreciate what it means to have that true grit and grace and gratitude. At the root of grace is that word gratitude and thankfulness. That is at the essence of what we look for. The other two ways to be Amberly are to be super and to be you. And when I say be Super. Obviously, like, I joke about this. Like, what the heck are you talking about? Everyone's super. But let's make it clear. We all have charisma and. And certain components inside of us that give us superpowers. We all do. It might sound, woo woo. It might sound crazy. Your listeners might be going, yeah, whatever, Lou.

No, I love this. I say this a lot, actually. I've said. Said it in a talk that I've given is we all have a superpower.

We do. And the key is I want to unleash it when I want to introduce people. So you made that comment, like, what do you say when you go to meet people and you heard about these people? I love the kite surf. I love to do these things. I love to connect people. I love to connect and let the people understand that when you connect, you thrive. And that is literally what I live and breathe every single day. So that literally is the superpower I have. And my job is to make other people super as well, get them to unleash their superpowers and so they can be better connectors. And to bring this back to what you mentioned at the top of the show, what we want to connect with is true authenticity, and that's to be you. A lot of us think we need to be like someone else when we see something. Heck, when I opened up this podcast program, when I started consulting, look, I mimicked or imitated other people that I thought I needed to be like, because I didn't know any better. But I learned that the real message and the real value when you are a true connector and somebody that totally gets it, is that you own who you are. And you literally bring that to the table every single day. And just literally with truth, gratitude, grace, and more importantly, that ability to truly own who you are, that is the most genuine thing, because we know when you're not that all that connection crumbles apart. You could be a great listener, ask the best questions, totally be fearless, and do all the other things you need to be to be a great connector. But when you're disingenuous, that just goes away. And that's the thing you remember most. So at its core, to really be who you are, own that and own that authenticity for what you can do. People want that. People want to know the super thing Lou does and that he's that guy, exactly who I get each time I get with him. And he's a person you can like. They know Amberly for her incredible story, her incredible journey, your passion, God, and wherever the heck you're going to dance. I just saw a video of you on Instagram or something like that. You got a chance to belly dance. Was that what you were doing? I got a. We're going to have to copy a link to that because I was like, man. But no, this is. You just wanted to dance, right? And make it clear. All of this is encompassing some things that I've learned over time that great leaders, great connectors, great salespeople, great communicators, when they do this, they draw people in to want to connect with them more. So I love harping on the ways you need to be. And by the way, you can be these things and the things you do. Like, you know, even in an email that you write, you don't have to be like, these people who send us all these cold junkie emails. How about something a little more personal? How about, like, hey, let's get on the phone and have a conversation? My goal is to drive more and more people to have great conversations because when you connect in those conversations, we eliminate that whole selfishness that's going on in this world and we start to help each other through this currency of connection. If you would.

So good. Oh, my God, So good. And, you know, there's so much, like you said, this. This applies to business. You talk about how it applies to everything in your life. And I want. Before we get into like, how it appl. Into their business or their passion, I wanted to ask you what made what. When you just decided to do a podcast and you like. Yeah, I think Thrive. Loud. I'm curious to what got you into thriving? Like, so much about. Was it health? Business? All of the above? What. What did that mean? How did you get into thrive? And so passionate about just thriving in all areas of your life.

So. And that wonderful question, by the way, because it is an interesting journey story, like, you know, when you see somebody at their peak or the best of what they're doing, you look back and all the dots and lines connect. But when you're going in the forward direction in the future, you don't understand exactly where the path leads. I had a very successful career working on Wall street and I was in institutional sales and. And before that, I was in sales in a digital Internet company. And I worked in consulting before that, in which I always used to say consulting is connecting for companies, but I didn't know all that moving on the way forward. And what happened was, is that the universe of what I was doing and by the way, was very successful at what I did Was making a lot of money, had a very, very productive, traditional way of doing things. But I felt I was not sharing my gift with enough people. That's the true story, is that I knew that I had more to offer than the clients I was covering in the world I was in. I said there was a much bigger universe in this, and even though people would be like, oh, that's what I want to do. And there's a story that a client of mine, a friend of mine, who was having trouble in a totally different industry, and I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do next, because I was just. I needed to figure it out, but I couldn't connect it. And he invited me to go out to this trade show in Las Vegas, and I went with him. And I go, listen, I was basically moonlighting. I was still working on Wall street, and I went with him for a long weekend to a conference in Vegas. He'd been going to it six years prior, and he had never really done a lot of business with it. And he basically said, for all the money I have to spend to go to this conference, can you come and help me? I need to make certain connections and relationships. I want to try and close some business. I said, okay. And I didn't know his product that well or his service that well, but while we were there, I did a tremendous amount of research and started to go there and say, let's do what we got to do. And I embraced all the ways you need to be. I asked a ton of questions. I listened to a bunch of people. I was fearless. I literally was pulling people in. In the two and a half days that we were in that conference, he inked, while we were there, two deals and signed another four by the end of the next month, within 30 days, everything was verbally committed then. And literally while I was there, we're flying back and now our upgraded seat, we went to the, you know, extra leg room.

I was going to say, I hope he. I was like, well, huh, Put you in a little upgraded seat, did he?

He said something to me, Amberly, that. That really hit it. And that was, do you understand what it is that you do? Because I do not think you know that what you do, you think, is just the way everybody does it. You think the way that you're connecting to the people. This is how everyone knows it. This is not what most people do. You have a different approach and a very likable way of doing things, and I think you need to tell everyone about it. That led to Me writing the book Master the Art of Connecting. And I wrote down a lot of the skills and the things that I did about it. But it also opened my doors to something real important that he said. He said, everyone needs to understand this. This isn't just my industry. And what he did in this technology company or Wall street, what I had done before. He goes, this is life. People in relationships need to understand these skills that you have. People in their personal problems should be able to figure you actually have a way of communicating that is unique, so you should bring that to the world. So I literally dropped everything. I quit my job. I started. It went from all this money to nothing. And it was painful, but it was purposeful.

How long ago was that?

This is now almost. It'll be eight years coming up, which

is only eight years ago.

2014 was when I began Thrive. And Thrive was really important. And just so you can get it, when I wrote the book Master Art of Connecting, I went on a ton of TV shows and radio shows, and this new thing, podcasting, was popping up. So I started going on some podcast interviews. And there's a funny story, Amberly. I went on a show that I hated. I had to write my responses for what I was going to say on the show. There were a set of questions, and they did a rehearsal beforehand. And when they went through the rehearsal, they were asking me to read my responses. And I deviated from the script because I just, like, was talking as I normally do, off the cuff.

And who would even listen to that show?

Well, that was the thing. And I actually told the associate producer, I said, I go, listen, if this is what's going to air, this is so not me. Please cancel the real scheduling of this interview. I do not want the world to see that this is a version of me, because this is not me. Cancel it. I canceled it and then called up this guy who said, you have a really good voice. You should be on a podcast. And then Thrive Loud was born. Now Thrive Loud was born, and the name itself is pretty fun. Not only am I a loud person, for those who hear me speak or talk, I have a loud way of speaking. And Thrive was the name of my company. But you'll also notice that it was my social media handle originally because it was Thriveloo D for Lou diamond, which is also Thrive Loud, as you can see.

Oh, I didn't put that together.

See, you got that right there. Well, most people didn't, in fact. So all the rebrand. I'm pointing to Amberly here behind me we just redid it. So we made the D capitalize and the ou lowercase because nobody saw it. And. But that was kind of the fun of it because Thrive Loud is what we call the show. Oh, well, that's the other purpose. Isn't that fun? There's another reason we did that too.

Yes.

As for listeners who look, a lot of people don't. And it's always fun. I always.

Because I'm always like, loud, scream it off the rooftop. Which.

Which is, by the way, what we want. We want those that are thriving Loud. And we use that analogy. But it came from that. It was my son who recognized it. Because when we're trying to come up with a name with the show, he goes, I don't understand, dad, you already have a name. And he was looking at my social media handle. He just said, isn't it thriveloud? And I'm like, no. Oh my God. That was it. So the funny thing, I love that the funny thing is the reason we also did that and we switched all the branding for everything about Thrive to be Thrive Loud is because Lou diamond is a tough name to win on Google, because Lou Diamond Phillips kind of owns that territory. So became the brand of everything else and the whole business and the rest, I guess, is history. Almost a thousand some odd episodes later and getting to meet the most amazing and incredible thriving individuals like yourself, which also spawned what became my next project, which is what's coming out later this year. Just the incredible lessons of what you can learn through these incredible conversations.

Yes. And we're going to get. I want to ask you some questions about that. But do you know, that's why I started my podcast was actually because I wanted to be able to. When I was going to all these speaking events, all these other speakers had podcasts and stuff and I didn't. And I thought, well, I want to be able to give something to these speakers and showcase their brilliance or their, you know, help them promote their books or just share their stories of struggles to success and stories of resilience. And so I really wanted. That's one of the reasons I wanted to start my podcast was so I'd have something to give. Give my listeners, give other speakers. And it has been the most amazing way to connect. It has been the best thing that

I've done for my business and for the record.

And I don't make money on it at all. I make no money on my podcast.

Well, you and I will figure we'll have an offline conversation. I'll help you with that regard. But here's the general thing about the podcast. That is the best gift to the host. And the listeners get it too. But the host really gets it because to your point, you're having conversations with some of the most incredible people. By the way, you have had a all star list of guests in your program. It's incredible. Some of some unbelievable people. You've even had the opportunity to step in on other shows because you're so good at what you do, because you're natural at this. I will say the best gift of podcasting is like, it's like a masterclass in talking to some of the most incredible people that do some of the most incredible things and have the ability to really just connect their superpowers and unleash it, and you can learn from it. And you're getting like a front row seat in some of the most brilliant activities. Like, I joke about it, some. Some guy who had this financial wealth thing, which sometimes you hear and you're like, oh, that sounds crazy. I got. I got done with the interview. I'm like, this guy's a genius. I'm calling him back up. Or people who've had incredible stories. I've cried on this show. I've heard about people who've made some unbelievable breakthroughs and made me rethink a good prioritization and perspective in life and some of the things that really get me. And this is where, you know, it gets weird. Someone heard me speak at an event and, you know, the flip flop was I went to do the podcast to market myself for more of my speaking, but now I'm actually getting hired to speak about podcasting, which is kind of the funniest thing in the entire world because of the conversations and connections we have. Someone in the audience one time who heard me speaking about something else came in and go, you're the host of that really good show that had these particular guests on. I listened to that show and I'm like, that wasn't the way that I thought this would work. But whatever branding you could do, whatever people know how they know you. You know how they always say, like, you're known for something, but you might be super at something else, but you're always like, what is the thing that you're known for most? And that's what you're really supposed to market. And then the other thing kind of happens because. Because of where that goes.

Yeah, I think you might be the

perfect example of that.

Well, I love how you share how it's all come together. Because sometimes people just see a successful show like yours and they're like, or a successful speaker like you, or you know, your best selling book and they're like, oh, well, they just have it all figured out. But you showed us. No, it was all these different things that happened. And getting back to your one point that I love that you talk about a lot or speak on a lot about the super, about being super. And you definitely are a super connector. And. But super is so many things that you do well. Just the connection that you create with your audience, with your guests, everything. What would you say to somebody who's like, well, I don't know what I'm super at. I don't know what my superpower is. How do I find it?

Yeah.

What would you ask? What would you say for suggest for

them to do so? One of the, one of the exercises we do at Thrive, and this is one of my favorite exercises, we do it as a huge workshop in a big group. But I've also, it started when I was actually doing a lot of work for some top CEOs and some top leadership folks when they were trying to connect their brand to their audience. And when you realize, you know, everybody today has a brand. And whether you know it or not, whether you are a podcast or a superstar or you're an Amberly Lago, whatever it is, a brand has a purpose and a meaning behind it. I can't think of three better words for a brand than yours, which is the name of this program. Like True grit and Grace. It just makes me smile when I say it. But to come up with what those things are, what I actually do is a fun little exercise. And I'm going to share this. You can do this. All listeners can do this. And please go do this. This is a highly recommended leadership training exercise that we do and we do it at Thrive and we love sharing it. It's not one of those things to speak it because I want people to do it. And it's also even better in person. Here's what you do. You're going to get a little piece of paper and you're going to write down five to seven words. One words. None of these hyphenated words. I just want one single word, five to seven words that you would use to describe yourself. Words that may be like certain things that are out there, maybe authentic connector, Thrive. Right. Different words for me. Or funny, bad golfer. That's two words. But anyway, you get the idea. You write down these five to seven words, put them on a piece of paper and take that piece of paper and put it in a drawer. You're going to send an email to people in your life that you've worked with that are friends that you trust. I'm going to give a little disclaimer here. You do not send it to your mother or your spouse. I want to make it clear, because the words that come back from this will not work in the way you want to do. But we've tried this. We said, do not send it to your mother or spouse because they will only love you or they'll only hate you. Side of note. All right, you send them out to send them out to a slew of people, ask them to send back five to seven words that they would use to describe you and say, you're doing this as a leadership exercise. It's the most fascinating exercise in the entire world. What you do is when the responses come in, just copy the responses and put them on, like, a spreadsheet. Like, you know, like, use Excel or write them down, whatever you want, but take the person's name who sent it to you off of it. Don't look at who sent it to you. Just put the words down and start collecting them and start looking at these words. You're going to learn a lot about yourself really quickly, and you're going to start to see that other people see you for similar things, and they're going to start using those words. And embedded in those words, Amberly, are the superpowers that you have. They see you as sharp as thinking, as reserved, as an introvert. These are words like, people say, oh, you're like an introvert, but you're really, really. That's not a bad thing. That's who you are, you know, an extrovert. Um, all these different words, and they start to see these things, and you start looking at these words and looking at these pairings, and then you do the painful thing. After you've gotten the responses from the people that you want, go to that drawer and pull out your piece of paper. How many of your words matched up to what other people see you as now? Somebody who's really got their message down and knows their superpowers and knows what they are, they'll almost match. And those that are really off, they're really off. They don't quite connect. Either you're not truly unleashing the powers that you have that others have in you, or they're not seeing the best versions of yourself that you might see in yourself. It is the exercise to get to Start to understand how you need to be so that the things that you want others to see from you, the way you want to be seen in this world, is it echoing? Is it being seen?

Are you in alignment?

Yeah. Are you together? Is it in line? And you're right, by the way. There's nothing better than learning that you're not. And that's a funny thing because, like, it's a real interesting exercise because then you try to. What is holding that person back? What are they not unleashing onto this world? Why aren't they connecting to everybody else and what they do? And that little exercise that I just described right here, by the way, we did this in a group of 400 people and they all found a partner and they did this and they started talking about it. And then, by the way, what's amazing is you could do with complete strangers and complete strangers.

I was just going to suggest, you know, if people are like, well, I don't know who I'm going to email or talk. You could even do it in on your Instagram story. You might get some scary things back. Yeah, but you could try it. I mean, hey, look.

And it's doable. But what I would say is the reason why I said to do with people that know you and that have worked with you, because this is the way that I. This is why I want this exercise this way. These are people who've seen you at your best and at your worst. They've seen you be fearless, be agile.

I'd be interested, though, to see if what would come back from.

If you did it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's an actual interesting thing. Like, how do you see my brand? Right.

Yeah, like, how do you see me? Am I like to do it with your friends and your family and get that back and get those responses back. Or maybe not all family. Not your spouse, not your mom.

It's a good lesson. Trust me, it saves a lot of trouble.

Yeah. But then to see if that is what your audience, what you get back from your audience as well, it'd be interesting.

What most people have told me at the end of the day of that exercise is that there were certain aspects of what they knew, the superpowers came out. And those are the most common things that everybody sees of you. You're supposed to want to embrace them, but you're also supposed to see what are the things that are not connecting or a little disjointed. And maybe those are the things that you could start communicating and messaging a little bit better in the way you share with the world, getting back to connecting everyone together and being less selfish. We want all those people who heard your responses, who basically said, I'm going to respond and tell you what I think is great about you. If they're not seeing the words that you put in the drawer, are you sharing what you really are with this world? Shouldn't that whole. Every one of the ones you wrote and put it in the drawer should be out and everyone should see them? That's the way we want to be connector. Those are the superpowers. Those are the things that we embody in this world. So fun exercise to do for your listeners. See, they got homework. Yeah.

Thank you for giving them homework. No, I like that. I like just to have some tangible tools that they can. That we can all do. I love. That's why I wanted to ask you about the superpower, because we've had a phone conversation not long ago about that. Well, actually, probably right after I moved to Texas is when we were talking about that.

Yes.

But now I just. I've been wanting to ask you about your new book. Like, I am so curious about your new book, first of all, that you have another book coming out. Because, man, writing my book took me two years. The publishing process was a year. I'm almost ready. It's been, you know, a few years, four years since I've written my book. And I just feel like I'm just now kind of ready to write another one. But I want to know what inspired you to write this next book and tell us a little bit about it and when. When it's coming out, because it's not even out yet, is it not.

Not at the time that we're recording this, but it's coming out real soon. So the general thing was I didn't want to write another book unless I had really something good to say. And I knew I was tinkering with certain ideas. And we've covered them, some of them on this program. I thought I was going to do something on Be Asking and Be Listening. To Be honest or the curious component about it. I even gave a TED Talk on Curiosity. So it was kind of like, maybe there's something about that. And then I realized that sometimes the answer is literally right in front of you as I'm pointing to the microphone in front of me here. And that is that the lessons that I've been learning in having incredible conversations have opened up a door to realize what I said earlier. And that is that every connection begins with a great conversation. But Amberly, we know that not every conversation is a great one. And in fact many conversations we don't connect and they're kind of like fleeting and they're, they just kind of come and go and they don't really mean anything. But what if it did? What if every single conversation you had connected with another individual? What if every time you engaged with someone you grew and gained a connection from just talking to another human being? What if you could connect, engage and win with every conversation you engaged with in your life? But what if you had the playbook to know how to do it? So with that I wrote Speak Easy. Connect with every conversation sounds like it's

going to be like right up there for every single MLM company that wants to have you speak at their event.

Well, that's what we're hoping for. But the general.

Because that's what I'm like, oh my gosh, this is brilliant. Every sales team is going to want you to come in and talk to their team.

So it has a three meaning the speakeasy. Obviously, if you've had a chance to listen to me, I am an easygoing person and it's my voice is kind of the thing. We want to make this an easy way of speaking. I also reference the 100 year old knock on the door Speakeasy special place. There's kind of like that theme of this cool inner club that we're letting you into. And the book goes from intro to outro as we do on our program and we're doing on the show right here on how you can navigate a conversation. It's the things you need to do before, during and after a conversation to keep the connection going. We also offer a special bar cart menu for conversational flights at the end in a special bonus section where we talk about the different types of conversations that you can have and almost a special type of menu and how to look at the ingredients and how to. Our mixologist provides you with the tips and tools on how to prepare and deal with those certain conversations. Like the uncomfortable conversation, the conversation about money being directly honest in a challenging situation, the follow up conversation. So those are some of the ways that we piece this together into Speakeasy. There's also the most fun thing about this which I'm also was really excited. I just finished recording the audiobook which is also out. This all comes out September 27th.

You've already recorded the audiobook.

Everything's recorded. It's just all going to be released on the launch date, September 27th of 2020. 2. That's when it comes out. It'll be in stores, audio and obviously in print. And you can get a copy. You could pre order today.

Okay. I am so impressed right now. Okay, who's it published by?

Page 2, who's Amazing. I cannot speak enough about them. How great they are. Well, give them enough shout outs to let it know that. Wow.

Well, I'm just impressed because when I did my book, they're like, yeah, you do your book and then a year later you do your audiobook. And I'm like, that doesn't make sense to me.

We did it all at one shot because we also know that we want to be selfless and let everybody listen to how they want to do it.

Because I like both. I like having an Audible book.

So wait, I'll say this, that the other fun part was is that and in the audiobook there's a special bonus section.

It's brilliant.

Yes. I knew you'd like this. But here's the best part. You'll love this part. Adrienne Bankert, I'm giving her a shout out here. Who hosts Morning America on News Nation, which is used to be wgn. I think it's. I forgot what they got. Now it's News Nation. She's the morning host and she was a guest on Thrive Loud when her book came out. We had such a great conversation that I will actually put in the back of the audiobook a conversation about conversations. So the two of us, she's interviewed thousands of famous people and we've interviewed people together. And what we talked about is just the whole art of that. So literally at the end of it, we put a conversation into place. So Speakeasy connect with every conversation. September 27th. And you can go to speakeasybook.com or thriveloud.com that's amazing.

And I'm telling you, my next book when I do the Audible. So I noticed John Acoff, he was on the show and so I bought his book, but also listened to the audio Audible book and our book on Audible and he had separate bonuses like that too. And I was like, that's so awesome.

And then I will put this. Listeners of true grit and grace know this. If Amberly Lago does her next book and she wants or she's doing her audiobook and she needs a special feature from it, I will gladly help work it, produce. Do whatever you want with it. I will. I would love to help you in that. That would be like the coolest honor ever. Oh, you get to have my Non Texas voice.

Oh, my goodness. Seriously? Yes, yes. You all heard it right here.

Mark the Tay.

He said yes. He said yes.

I would absolutely do it. There is. There is. To listeners here, you need to know this. And this is me being genuine. Amberly is. She's all that. I haven't met anybody who is as beautiful outside and inside in every aspect of what she does and is truly is genuine and caring. This is the soul. Like, when I said, let's get on your program and let's talk about this, I'm like, I'm just excited to talk to Amberly. And I think the world. If you haven't been appreciating all the stuff that you do on this program, please do. Because she is all that. And. Yeah. So I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Absolutely.

Thank you. You are awesome. Well, you are all that and more. I'm telling y', all, please go check him out. Follow him on, you know what. Whatever part stuck out. Take a screenshot if you're watching.

Don't we have to do one, too?

Oh, we're gonna do that, too. We're gonna get.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah. We're gonna get the. We're gonna get a screenshot, too. But if y' all are watching on YouTube, take a screenshot. If you're listening on your favorite podcast platform and you happen to be jogging, just screenshot it real quick and tag us at Amberly Lago motivation. And my friend Lou Diamond Thrive Loud. And now I want you to tell us. And I'll be getting both. I'll be getting the. Is it coming out on hardback, too, or paperback or both?

So it's just paperback. That's as hard as we got on September 27th. 2022 comes out that Tuesday.

But you can already order it on your beautiful website.

You can go right now to speakeasybook.com pre order it. Please do go out. Pre order it right now, and you'll get a free website. Oh, well, thank you. Thank you.

Yeah, I was very impressed. Like, I love that. I was like, dang, you got this down. You got it together. You know what you're doing. Next time I write a book, I'm going to be calling you.

You really should.

I know I will. Because I had no idea what I was doing. I was, like, totally winging it. And let me just tell you a quick story real quick. Absolutely. So I had no idea what I was doing. I was on the floor in my office, had my books stacked up, taking a picture, and my husband comes in My office and says, what are you doing? I said, well, my book is about to launch in three days, and Brene Brown's book is launching, and this is what she did to promote her book. So I'm doing the same thing. No idea what I was doing. Well, don't you think that this Brene Brown lady is going to be upset when she sees you copying her? I said, honey Brown never going to be notice. But you never know because you know what? The day my book launched, guess where True Grit and Grace sat.

Top of the list, baby.

Right next to Brene Brown. So I thought that was pretty funny that I was like, well, you never know. But I am going to be calling you because you really. Your. Your website's beautiful, y'. All. Check it out. Not just the speakeasy.com but also thrive Loud, because all you do your podcast, y'. All. He's had some of the most amazing.

Well, we've had episode. Hold on. I'm looking at it. It's episode 605. You got to check it out. Because it was like you just get to just get a bottle, that voice of yours. But. But by the way, thank you. And I state this like, this is. This is all part. It's intentional. We want it to be easy. We want people to speak easy, and we want people to connect. And the site and everything and all the messaging that we do is all geared around that and because that's who we are and that's what we're about. So I say one of the things I do, I always want to appreciate the opportunity to have any chance I have to have a conversation, appreciate the opportunity. That is a way you need to be. And I come in and just to have the opportunity to talk to your audience and speak with you is pretty freaking awesome. So it makes it a lot of fun, doesn't it?

It does. This is a blessing. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. I learned so much every single time I talk with you, so I was looking forward to this. Y' all go check them out. I'm gonna be buying your book on audio and paperback because I like. I like both.

I'm gonna have to take you out to dinner in Texas and make sure that they don't cut the power line so that at least you'll have Internet, you know?

Right?

Yeah.

You know what? You come to Texas and I'll treat you, and I'll make sure we'll crank up the country music. Really?

Oh, I'm psyched. I'm looking. I'm looking forward to that. Yeah, we're so.

Well, thank you. Thanks for being on the show and thank y' all for tuning in to True Grit and Grace. I appreciate. Appreciate you being here. And until next week, I'll see you then.