Becoming Unstoppable: Finding Your Why with Shawn French

Everything in life is perception, right? You know, you have a paradigm. You need to shift it right now, right? So how could you view this better, right? Or how could you take this thing that happened? Whether you struck out or you threw an interception, what is it telling you, right? Like, what is the real impact of it?

Hello. Thank you all for tuning in to True Grit and Grace. It's Amberly Lago and I have a really good friend of mine on the show today, and we find I finally had to hit record because we were talking for, like, over 30 minutes, and I'm like, oh, yeah, we're recording a podcast. So I have Sean French with us today. He is an amazing entrepreneur, the founder of the Determined Society, the author of a book that's now available on Kindle. He's got a top podcast, and he's a mental performance coach who helps people to level up in sports, business, and life. He coaches a lot of athletes as well as other entrepreneurs. But more than that, he has just been a good friend of mine that we can talk about the journey, the struggles, the struggles to success, what we're going through. So, Sean, thank you so much for being here on the show.

Oh, I'm so excited. Thank you. And your intro has got me in my feelings because, you know, I know our friendship has been very special, and we have so many amazing conversations, you know, on the phone, and we really just open up to each other, and so I just. I'm. I'm grateful for our friendship, and I'm. I. I can't believe we're even recording this episode. I'm excited.

Well, I've been wanting to have you on. We finally made it happen. And just what you're doing is. Is amazing. I love how you show up also on, like, I binge your reels and your interviews. You're amazing.

Thank you.

Before we get into a lot about, you know, your determined society and. And even your book, I want to go back to where you started, because I like to share on the show because sometimes it make you like people like you, who make it look easy for entrepreneurs when we know as entrepreneurs, sometimes there are struggles, and you have so much unstoppable success, so much grit, so much resilience. Was there an age, you know, when you were younger that you. Something clicked and you're like, I want to be an entrepreneur or I want to be a peak performance coach or mental performance coach. Was there a time when you thought, that's what I want to be. That's what I want to do?

You know, it's really funny. Not as a kid, right? As a kid, I was focused on being a major league baseball player, and no one could tell me any different. And, you know, Can I stop?

I got to stop you right there real quick, Sean. Did you know I just played in the celebrity softball tournament?

No, you didn't.

I did. And where? My gosh, it was crazy. Okay? So they asked me to play, and I said yes because it supports veterans. And then my husband was like, are you crazy? Why did you say yes to that? You don't even know how to play softball. Get there. So I played last year, and, I mean, the pitcher for the Rangers was there. Dallas Cowboys, like, famous athletes were there.

That's so awesome.

And they asked me to come back again this year. Last year, I practiced every day with my daughter. Hitting the ball, catching the ball. I was. I'm still a little scared of the ball, actually. This year, I get there and we go to our teams, and they want me to play second base.

Oh, come on, now.

Some of these people are serious about this game, and they don't. I mean, they're professional baseball players. And I'm like, I'm going to get hit second base. I'm going to get hit in the face with the ball. And I was freaking out. My heart was pounding. And I went to the coach, and I was like, you know, you might want to rethink this and have one of your professional athletes take second base. I said, because I really care about the team. And he looked at me confused, and I said, no, seriously, you might want to rethink it. And I pointed down to my feet and.

Right.

Because the nerve disease. I can't even wear tennis shoes. So I had my boots on on the baseball field so I didn't have to play second base. And I had a lot of my mastermind people at the game, they're like, you can do it. Play second base. And I'm like, no, y' all don't understand. I don't even know if I can throw the ball. I'm not. So I have so much respect for you that you know how to play baseball. I just. I'm amazed by that. So I had to tell you that story because I'm. I'm scared of the ball. And yes, I want to hear about your experience with baseball. Like, how old were you when you started playing, man?

You know, I start my first year, I was seven years old, but backing up. Let's back up. My uncle, he was, you know, a baseball player. My cousins were baseball players. They're very high level baseball players. I'm talking Division 1, Division 2 college athletes. And my uncle even, you know, signed a free agent deal with the Montreal Expos back in the day. So I had some amazing bloodlines. But even before that, my mom, her father, his name was Bobby Lee Doster, grew up in Richmond, California. All American baseball player, All American basketball. And he was a catcher and he played in the all American game at Yankee Stadium, hit a home run and he was tragically killed when My mom was 6 years old. They were in a car, all four of them. My mom, her dad, my grandma, and would have been my uncle. They were driving in Northern California, drunk driver, hit him head on, killed my grandfather and killed my uncle. Oh my goodness. I say this because, oh. So my mom was six in my. Which would, which was my mom's brother was, was eight. And my grandma, my mom lived. And I say that because it's just crazy how bloodlines go as far as athletic ability, etc. So I don't know, I was probably a teenager and I'm sitting there and looking at these pictures at my grandma's and it was, you know, it looked like me feeding a squirrel and I'm like, hey, why, why in the world is this picture black and white? They're like, what do you mean? I'm like, well, I didn't grow up in black and white era. Like, that's your, that's your grandpa Bobby. Wow. So furthermore, in junior college, I'm playing in, at this, you know, a little bit of a fall ball game and my grandpa's old teammates end up showing up saying, I look just like him. I played identical to him. The arm action, the way the ball left my hand, like there was no difference between me and my grandpa Bobby.

Wow.

And so for me, baseball was more. It was a continuation of just family tradition. So for me it was. There was no other option. Right. Another option. And I fought and I fought and I fought. And you know what? My career was cut short because of injuries once I got to Louisiana, Louisiana State University. And then the major leagues was no longer. Heck, the, the minor leagues was even no longer a thing. So it was tough to get through.

Well, what, what did baseball teach you as far as like, what you do now as an entrepreneur? Did baseball teach you some life lessons?

Oh, absolutely. It's it. Baseball to me is a sport that'll teach you more about life than any other sport. And here's why I say that for the people that are listening, that want some more context. If you fail in any other sport, right? 70% of the time, you are not successful. You are cut, you are gone. In baseball, there's a lot of failure built in, right? It's very uncontrolled. So you can fail 70% of the time, which means you. Let's say you have 10 at bats, you get three hits, you. You. You get out seven times. You're a Hall of Famer, right? Like, imagine. Imagine going through and being 30, 30 successful, but everybody thinking you're amazing.

Right?

And so what that did for me is it taught me how to really, you know, just like your. Your podcast, True Grit and Grace, you have to be gritty. You have to be determined. You have to be delusionally optimistic in that game of baseball, because if you are not, the. The lows will destroy you. Like, so you have to have a short memory. You have to be able to move on. That's the same way with entrepreneurship, especially in the space that you and I are in, right? There's a lot of failure. There's a lot of, you know, letdowns.

Right?

It's hard. So for me, if I wasn't the baseball player I was and the things that I've done in my life leading up to this venture, I would be done by now. But it taught me to keep it going. I will not stop.

Well, speaking of not stopping, your book is called Unstoppable.

Yes.

I love it because.

Thank you.

As you know, my mastermind is unstoppable Life Mastermind. My summit is called Unstoppable Success Summit. So when I saw your book, I was like, oh, my gosh. And now it's available on Kindle.

Yes.

What inspired you to write your book?

Well, I've always wanted to write a book. I remember sitting down in college, like, oh, I'm going to write my journey. Right. And I would get the extreme adhd and I wouldn't write it. But for me, I wanted to chronicle my limiting beliefs, my journey in baseball, and how it led me into, you know, just being a salesperson and an entrepreneur. And for me, it's very simple, right? Successful people, they leave clues. They have a recipe for their success. You know, Ben Newman calls it the process. Right. Or the standard. I call it the process. And I broke down everything that I believe to be successful, which is mental toughness, resilience, determination. Right. Strategy, clarity, intention, visualization, all that stuff. And I wrote. Well, I actually did videos. Actually, I did videos, and really good at the video. Thank you.

How have you always just been in front of the camera? Like that. Because for me, that was really hard at first. I remember recording my first courses and sitting outside recording stuff and starting over and starting over and starting over and stop and then go. And my daughter was like, mom, that's not how you do it. This is how you do it. And she was like, scoot over. And she sat down, and she was like, hi, I'm Amberly Lago. And she just blah, blah at me. And I was just like, oh, my gosh, she's so good, you know, but she's been in front of a camera her whole life. Was that hard for you at first, being in front of the camera? Because your videos are amazing.

Well, thank you. It was extremely hard, right? Yes. Yes. I remember when I was about to launch the Determined Society. It was just a Facebook group. It wasn't even anything, right? And I remember I was like, okay, I want to build some buzz around it, so I'm gonna, you know, talk about, hey, guys, you know, something big is coming. It was after a run. I was sitting in my driveway against my garage. Like, the. The video, to me now, is repulsive. It was so bad. And I could just tell, like, my speech pattern wasn't good. My inflection points were off. And then all of a sudden, it started getting better and better and better and to. To. I mean, it's the same thing with my show. I can't listen to some of my early episodes. I'm like, wow, I'm really bad. I'm really bad. And now, right? I mean, imagine in two years, I'll go back and listen to these episodes. Like, wow, Sean, you were terrible. Right? I mean, it's all about that growth. But, no, I was never very good at videos. I've always been a good communicator because I care, and I listen more than I speak. So I just, you know, I. I like to have fun with it, and, you know, I like to have fun

with just putting in the. Putting in the rips for those videos. I think it gets a little easier. But thank you for sharing that, because I think sometimes looking at entrepreneurs who are doing videos or doing a podcast episodes and they're posting reals and everything on social media, they make it look really easy. And it was hard for me. I'm like, oh, my gosh, I suck.

Yeah, dude, seriously.

Oh, my gosh. And. And I have my graphics team who made some shorts for me for YouTube, and they. I was like, can you send me those? And some. I watched. And I was like, where did they even find this video? This is terrible. Like, it's so hard for me to watch. So thank you for sharing that. It was hard for you at first, but now look at you. And your podcast is amazing. I love how real you keep it with your audience. But talking about some of the points of your book, like, one of the things I wanted to ask you about is the determination. How would you teach somebody to have that determination? Who you know that they're capable, you know, that they have, you know, a lot of good things to share with the world and an impact to make, but they don't seem to have the determination. Can you teach that?

I think so. I mean, first you want to define what determination means to you because it means something different for Amberly. It means something different to Sean. So there's individuals that may not have the determination is because they don't know what they need to be determined in and they don't even understand what it means. Right, so define what it means then also. Okay. Defined what your dreams are. Like, what do you want to do? Like, what do you feel? If. If you could, you know, rub a crystal ball right now, what would you say? And then you get that out of them and it's like, okay, great. Well, who do you need to become? Like, who do you need to become? And more importantly, though, why do you want to do that? You know, why is it, you know, Sean, why do you want to be a speaker? Why do you want a podcast? Why do you want to do all this? Well, for me, it was about empowering others because I've been told my whole life I couldn't do something from people that I love, my father and my grandfather.

And that was, like, motivation for me.

Yeah, it's like rocket fuel and a jet engine, man. Let's go. You know, so for me, I had to dive into why I wanted to empower people. And it wasn't because I wanted to be on a soapbox. It was because I know how much it hurts to have somebody not believe in you and to be. To feel shame when you, you know, a perceived failure happens. I wanted to tell. I wanted to show people that that's a lie. And so that was for me, that gave me all that drive. Have I taken breaks? Yeah, I took a four month break. Right. But the bottom line is, for me, building that determination for this brand, for me, at the point, like, I think a lot of people would have given up by now. I won't. I'm just getting started. Like this, this means all this adversity and all this, the Stress. There's a diamond about to happen, right? The pressure's here, and we're gone. I mean, so for me, it's just. That's what it is. Define what they want and why.

I think it's so important to know your why. I think we get. I don't think we get burnout from doing the things we do. I think it's when we forget why we're doing the things that we do that we can get burnout. But if you are aligned with who you are and what you love doing and. And why you're determined, I think that you can just keep going, and you can develop that grit to keep going. So when you had people that didn't believe in you, where did you find the belief in yourself to keep going?

The delusion. The delusional optimism? I mean, like, quite honestly, when my. My grandfather would say, well, what's your backup plan? You're not. What if you don't play Major League Baseball? I'm like, are you serious? You listening to yourself? Like, I. I literally just chose not to listen, right? I chose not to listen. And, you know, he was eventually right. He was.

How did that feel when, like, I know for me, my whole identity was caught up when I was in the fitness industry and I was modeling for Shape and Fit Pregnancy and, you know, contributing articles and doing infomercials and videos, and my picture was on the label of vitamins at every CVS and Rite Aid. I mean, it was crazy. That was my whole identity, and to have that ripped away, I lost myself. I went into a depression, and I had to figure out who I really was. Did you have a time after you knew you weren't going to play in the major leagues because of the injuries that. That happened? When you were playing baseball, did you have a time where you went through a depression or you had to kind of reinvent who you were or how did you get through that?

By making a lot of mistakes and burning a lot of friendships. I mean, oh, my gosh, I tell you what, you know, I hope one day we can reconcile. Like my best friends from back home in California. I mean, I would do stupid things, you know, like what? Kind of like being just out of depression, drinking too much. I didn't care if, you know, someone had a boyfriend, you know, and it would be in the same circle. And it just put a lot of people in the. In the. In that. In the firing squad of, like, hey, did you know this happened? And they had a lie for me a couple times. So, like, why Would they want to be friends with me anymore? They. I mean, I messed up, so I was extremely hurt. I didn't know who I was. I was selfish, and that's not who I truly am. But that's what I was displaying at that time. And man, I just, like I said, I just went through this, this three or four year period where I was just a miserable person.

And how old were you? In your 20s?

Yeah, late 20s. Probably like 26 to 29. 20, 30, roughly. You know, so good, you know, four, four years. Right. Because I didn't think I had a problem. I was just living life. This is fun, right?

Yeah. But how did you get over that? How did you change?

I lost everybody that I loved. I mean, my best friends at this point still won't even speak to me.

Oh, my goodness. I mean, have you not been able to make amends with them or.

No, we haven't. You know, and. And I'm trying still, and I understand where they're coming from, but at the same time, you know, it's one of those things where, okay, you knew me then. Like, if you loved me then, you're gonna really love me now because I'm a different person. Right. I've grown, but for me, that identity was gone. I didn't know who I was to your point. Like, I was just flailing in the wind, you know, trying to make myself relevant by doing stupid things and fulfilling the most shallow desires. That, that was my. I didn't get addicted to drugs, I didn't become an alcoholic. And a lot of athletes that, you know, are removed from their sport early can go through that mental health journey, you know, struggle, and it get really serious. You know, in fact, I just did my interview. I don't even, can't even believe I'm saying this, but I did an interview with TED Talk the other day, and I find out in December if they're gonna, you know, accept me into that specific event based on the topic you and I are talking about right now.

Wow, that's incredible.

So it's really, it's really interesting that you brought that up.

Yeah, that is incredible. I just think it's going to be amazing. That's going to be a career changer, too.

Yeah, I know it is. That's. That's the inflection point.

Yeah. Yeah.

It's so funny because there's so many. There's been so many points like, oh, this is the moment, this is the jump off. But the jump off to the jump off to the jump off. Right. And Then getting on that TEDx stage. I think that's that right there is. That's it? Yeah.

That's huge. Well, what did you share, if you don't mind, about like, maybe three things that got you through and made you into the person you are today versus a selfish person in the past, making big mistakes and, and not having that integrity to now who you are. You know, you make positive change in so many people's lives and you're such a good person. Are there like three things that you did that were like, this is what changed me?

Yeah, I stopped. I stopped, like, blaming them for turning their back on me and started to look at why they did. And then I realized that, wow, I was a bad person and I held myself accountable.

That's important. I think that awareness and that acceptance and that accountability is the beginning to any transformation.

The other thing I did as I really just started working on myself, it's kind of everything was unrelated, right? I started thinking, okay, who do I want to be? Am I there? What do I need to do to change that? And I think that. And I know through taking inventory of who I wanted to be and what I need to do to get there, set me up to completely transform who I was, you know, so it was a lot of that deep work, right? I'm not going to say it was meditation or a morning routine or anything like that. It was just a simple fact that, dude, you don't have anything in your life right now. You've lost your friends, you are broke, you don't have a car.

Right?

Because I also, at that time, I was going through that, the mortgage meltdown as well. So that, that, that, I mean, so not only was I not a professional baseball player, I was losing my house, my car, because I overextended myself. And I, because I was, you know, in the. I sold mortgages and I was doing really well for a while, and then I wasn't. So that was the time, like the, the two, like the identity I thought I was gaining was also being ripped away from me as well. And so I was flailing. So just the awareness, taking inventory, and then really starting to execute who I truly knew, who I was. Like the person I knew I was in every interaction. And then eventually the change happened.

That's amazing. It does take a lot of work. And that's something I'm glad you brought up. That a lot of people don't see is like, even after, you know, my motorcycle acc. And losing, you know, we had a lien on our house $2.9 million worth of medical expenses, Lost my career. I was the main breadwinner of the family, and it was six years of me really struggling in and out of the hospital, in and out of surgeries, but doing the deep work every day and crying for like a year straight.

Yeah, yeah.

You know, and so I want people to know that, like, it. It's not just some magical overnight like, oh, I'm cured or, oh, things are better, I'm suddenly successful. It's like, it's a lot of deep work, mentally, physically. For me, it was spiritually as well. And so I want people to know, like, how to be more determined. So I love what you shared about that. But to optimize mental performance, because I think so much comes from starts with your mindset. What would you suggest? Or where do they even start to optimize their mental performance?

It's a great question. So last night I had Corey Wade, which is a former major league baseball pitcher. He spoke to my athletes last night, Sunday night, you know, 8:00pm he's on there, pouring into him. We start talking about obstacles, right? And he says, hey, you know, these. We. We have this example that we talk to these downhill skiers. You know, how do you not hit the trees? You know, do you have to look for them? They're like. We focus on the snow at our feet. We focus on what we need to do and not the obstacles around us. Right. So good. Right. So I'm going somewhere with this. So for me, in. In building that, you know, mental performance aspect of it, you have to be able to focus on whatever process that you set forward that's going to help you get better. So if it's waking up at 4am, fine. Wake up at 4am if it's waking up at 7, make sure you're up, whatever. But follow your day the way you know it's going to impact your performance. But the biggest thing that I can say, and this is something I still struggle with, Amberly, is this peak performance does not mean perfect performance. So in order to be a peak performer and have great mentality when you're in competition, you got to understand perfection isn't the goal at all. Like, the work is the goal. The results are going to happen as a byproduct. But let's get away from what you think it's going to look like, right. The performance, because now we're setting expectations.

Yeah.

And now if we fall short, if we didn't perform that move the right way in our own mind, then now we're upset. Maybe the result's still the same. Right. But. But the reality is, like, yeah, just really diving in to what, you know, you need to do every day, but then also realizing that, most importantly, that peak performance does not mean perfect performance.

That's so good. But I also like what you said about, like, they don't focus on the trees. It's kind of like, you know, when you're riding a motorcycle, you're going to go where you look. So if you're looking down at the ground, you're probably going to drop your bike.

Yep.

And so that's something that I always remember from my. When I took a refresher course and, like, riding a motorcycle, that the instructor, who was this big, burly dude, was like, if you look down, you will go down. He goes, I remember looking at the curb coming to a stop sign, and I hit the curb. And so I dropped my bike once I was practicing doing, like, circle eights in small places. So I was in my garage, this apartment building, doing these tight squeeze, you know, circles, and just to practice tight turns. And I look down, and sure enough, I dropped my bike on top of me. Harleys are heavy. I think the adrenaline kicked in and I was able to get that bike up, but that was like, okay, won't do that again. I'm gonna look where I'm going, focus on where I'm going. And you have a quote. I actually wrote it down, and it's on your website. Your website's beautiful, by the way.

Thank you.

Yeah, it looks really awesome.

Jared Tangiers, my boy up in Pennsylvania, did that.

Really?

He's incredible. He's incredible.

Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, it looks really good.

Thank you.

But you, I read on there, negative people complain about problems. Positive people tell everyone about their solutions. Unstoppable people put down their heads and work.

I love that.

I love that. Being an athlete taught me that. You know, I ran. I ran track. And it's the same thing that you have to learn in business and what you're doing. So I love how you're just like, okay, focus on what you need to do every day. Focus on that. Well, how does someone develop a positive mindset if they are constantly in the negative? Because I have some people around me that, oh, my God. Gosh, it drives me nuts. Like, I can say, hey, I won the lottery. And they're like, oh, do you realize you're gonna have to pay taxes on that?

I love those people, man.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

So how do you. Is there a Way to change that. I mean, I know sometimes you can't change people.

It's hard.

It is.

It's so hard. Let's be real.

Somebody's mindset that is very negative. And they've been that way to a more positive mindset.

As far as like someone I'm coaching. You mean like an athlete?

Yeah.

I would just ask him if, hey, is your current state of mind helping you get to where you want to be? Flat out? No. Okay, well then how would you need to look at this situation? Because you got to understand everything in life is perception, right? You know, you have a paradigm. You need to shift it right now, right? So how could you view this better? Right? Or how could you take this thing that happened, Whether you struck out or you threw an interception, what is it telling you, right? Like what is the real impact of it? Because I can guarantee the impact is not as huge as you think it is. You just want to be perfect, right? So it's getting them to challenge their thought process on how something looks Right. And a lot of times it goes down deep into psychology. Well, why do you feel negative like this? Who else in your life is like this, you know, and what are you fulfilling and how are you helping yourself by being this way? A lot of times people grew up in so many toxic situations, situations that it fuels them. That limbic system is so jacked up, they have to feel in fight.

Right?

And fight of, of everything. It has to be negative. And if it's going smooth or positive things happen, whoa. This doesn't fit my self belief, my core value, my, my core beliefs about myself. So then they stray to the negative. So again, getting them to break down, hey, is this really helping you? I mean, I think that's the easiest way to do it.

Yeah. It's so hard though. Like, yeah, you. And I don't understand what makes, like how, you know, growing up in a negative kind of toxic household or growing up with someone who's very negative, how some people go to the negative and then how some people choose to go and be positive and say, that's not how I'm going to live my life. I am going to be positive, I'm going to do something with my life. I think it's important for everybody to know that you have a choice. Like you have a choice and you can choose how you want to think and what you want to do. And I think that's important because people get stuck in this belief of, well, these, this is my life and these are the cards I've been dealt. And this is what the doctor has said or this is what my coach has said, so it must be true. True. But to challenge those thoughts, you talk a lot about mindfulness. What does mindfulness mean to you and how has it helped in your business and in your life?

Mindfulness means, to me is just being aware of not just what you're saying, but what you're thinking, most importantly, and how the two correlate into your message and how the delivery may impact somebody else negatively or positively. Right. So when I do my videos and I do my show, there's a lot of things that I want to say. Knee jerk reaction. But the emotional intelligence level has increased so much over the years. So it's just like, okay, how do I be mindful of how this may sound?

Right.

And I think that is the best way that I can describe what mindfulness means to me.

Well, it just, you saying that just made me think of like somebody like Bradley or our friend Bedros, who, man, they just say, any. I love them. I love that Bradley just tells it like it is. But it just made me think of them like, wow, maybe they think of mindfulness differently. I mean, we all think of it differently.

But I mean, yeah, I think that life experiences bring different communication styles. Right. Everybody's so different. I mean, there's. Is there. Can I be as brash, like, let's just call it as it is. Like Bradley, I mean, sometimes he's just bullet point, bullets your head. Like, he's.

Oh, yeah. I think he says stuff that we all, like, think and want to say, but sometimes we hold back. And he doesn't.

No, he doesn't. And I respect that about him. I love it. Like, I don't, I don't look down on him at all for that. Like, I, I think he's amazing. For me, though, it's like, okay, do I want to do that? Right? How, like, for me, I also think about it too, is, you know, I used to curse a lot on my show. I stopped. Some people started saying to me, like, hey, really love your show. Really let my kids listen. But you're cursing a lot. I'm like, yeah, I got, I got triggered at first. But here's why, here's why I got mad. And for those of you listening right now, right, if someone approaches you on something and you get mad is because you're already thinking about it and someone beat you to the punch, you did not take action early enough for that solution to be provided out publicly. So now you're mad. Because you feel like you're getting spanked, right? And so I got mad and I said, you know what? You're right. So I stopped.

Right.

Like, I'm. I'm really working on it because I'm intelligent enough to articulate my message. Here we are, having said one curse word, right? So I can do it. But, like, then I started thinking a little deeper about it. I have a wife, right. And I have three children. Do I care what. How they would feel about somebody? Talk about their dad or their husband? So I just. I just shifted, you know, I just shifted that.

Well, there. There's been two times that I cut. I don't cuss a lot unless I'm, you know. Well, I don't cuss a lot, but I have let some words slip if I'm around someone that I feel really comfortable with.

Sure.

But there was two times that I've been on stage that I. Once I said the S word, and afterwards, I was like, I felt horrible about it. It just came out. And. And I was speaking in Salt Lake City, and there were a lot of Mormons in the audience, and I was just like, I cannot. Like, I don't cuss. Like, that's not me. How did that come out? You know? And then I was speaking at one of my Mastermind retreats, and one of the Mastermind members was, like, she had been through a really tough time, and. And she was like, what changes for me is every day I look in the mirror and I say, I am Tina effing Kendall. And I'm. I. I said something about. I was like. I was thinking everybody for being there. And I got really emotional and was crying, and then I was like, you know what? I'm Amberly F. And lago. But I said that I dropped the F bomb.

Dropped it.

And I was like, oh, my gosh. I just said the F word. I'm so sorry. Like, you know, but it just came out.

It's great.

Oh.

But I think it was a time and a place for it. I mean, you know, like, hey, why not?

Slipped. It really slipped.

But that means it was natural, right? It was natural. And they probably looked at you in a different way, like, wow, okay, girl. You got a little bit in you.

Yeah, you got a little bit of bad in you.

A little bit of bad in you.

And it's.

It's okay. And it probably got. It probably helped them respect you even more than they already do.

You know, I think when people can see that you. We're human, we make mistakes. We. You Know, I just got off of a call right before this with one of my Mastermind members, and I was sharing something personal with her because she's going through something personal with her family, and she goes, wow, thank you for sharing that with me. She goes, I've always felt connected with you, but knowing that we have that in common, and you sharing that personal story with me makes me love and respect you even more and connect with you on a deeper level. And I think that's why you and I, Sean, connected. And we. I feel like we've been friends forever.

Yeah.

And I think it's because we can keep it real with each other. We can talk about things or struggles that we might be going through and maybe solutions, but we can keep it real, and that's so important to deep connections.

Yeah, I agree. Like, amen to that. Because I was sitting here before the show we hit record, or before I hopped on the video recording, and it's like, thinking about our friendship, our relationship, and how it evolved. Right. It started. It started with me hearing you on a popular podcast.

I was like, oh, which one was that? Was it Bedros's? No. No, it wasn't his. No.

I think it was a CLS experience.

Oh, with Craig.

Yeah, it was. And then I listened to you, and so then it brought me to your podcast, and I listened to you and Ken Jocelyn. Oh. And then he and I connected, and then I sent you a message, and then you and I connected. And, you know, it's just so funny, because at that point, it's just surface level, you know, hey, love what you do. You came on my show at the very beginning when I started doing guests. We got to do a. We got to do a redo. We got to go. We got to do it again. But, you know, then it turned into personal conversations. Just naturally, nothing was forced. And, you know, I've bared my soul to you on walks before about my frustration. You've given me such great advice. And, you know, I don't know if I've ever given you advice. I don't know if you've ever asked, but I just know that, you know, being your friend has. Has been truly something really cool and evolving. And it just goes to show you that, you know, you can make friends online, like, and it'd be, like, a wholesome deal, too. It's, like, really cool, right? Yeah, it's awesome.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you. And I, you know, I feel so grateful that we connected. I couldn't remember exactly how we connected or who Jen LaGuardia yeah, I think, yes, it was. It was Jennifer. She's like, you gotta meet my friend. And so I think she made an introduction to us. But it's just amazing how you can meet someone online and that turns into a friendship or you can hear somebody on a podcast and it turns into, like a. A deep, you know, friendship. So I'm grateful for your friendship.

Me too. Me too.

I got. Do you have time for a couple more questions?

Absolutely, girl, come on.

Okay, well, I know you talk a lot about brain training exercises, and I think that, you know, it starts with our mindset and belief, and I want to know some of your brain training tips to help us be determined, more positive, more optimistic. Is there something that you offer the people that you coach or in your group coaching that you help them with brain training exercises?

Brain training exercises is simply broken down into conversations. I. I gotta be real with you. So again, like we talked about earlier, it's like, okay, why are you feeling this way? Where is it coming from? What's the root cause? Right. So one of my. One of my entrepreneur clients that I work with, I'm obviously not going to say his name, but, you know, very prominent family growing up, and he got into methamphetamines, and he was a drug addict for a very long time. And he's been clean for, you know, a very long time now. I can tell there was still some energy around how his brain is wired about losing time with his family, losing time with friends. So he's always seeking that approval because he still views himself as that little boy or that young adult that was, you know, fall into addiction and burning relationships. I said, hey, you know, just a thought. How much of how you're feeling right now is that you're seeking approval from people that can't give it to you right now? And so it's asking questions and unraveling that big ball of yarn and finding out where it starts. Right? Because you can tell somebody, hey, that's not the way to be. Your mindset is messed up. But let's really dig into it, why it's messed up. And it's just asking questions, you know, tell me a little bit more about that time in 1995. How did you feel after that? Okay, well, is that connected to how you're feeling right now? Oh, my God. Yes, it is. Like, boom. Like, we just talk about it. So there's nothing specific. It's just really being intentional with the questions in the. In the conversation, you know, and sometimes

I think it just really helps to have a great coach that can ask you questions and kind of unravel that or, you know, peel the layers of onion till you get to the root cause, which really, really helps. So do you practice? Do you do meditation?

I don't. So bad, isn't it? I need to. I really need to. I was talking about this with somebody else. I don't know who it was. It's usually my wife when I get frustrated because you need to meditate, you need to do yoga. But, you know, when I lift, that's my active meditation, so it helps me. But I don't. I don't really know. I don't. I need to. Gosh.

Yeah, I was sign. I have. I have the. The Calm app because it's hard for me to meditate. And you mentioned something earlier about ADHD. Do you have ADD?

Oh, absolutely. Diagnosed 100.

Me too.

And I don't take anything for it, so I don't.

I don't either.

Yeah.

But I have found that. Yeah, I think I do. You know, the. That app helps me. I'm not affiliated with that app or anything, but I needed somebody to walk me through the exercise because even through that meditation and having some guidance, I'm still like, oh, squirrel.

It's. It's crazy.

What's this? And I used to be so focused. I don't know if you're like this. I mean, look, people with adhd, people or been diagnosed with it, usually make the best entrepreneurs. As long as we can stay focused. And so you should see my desk. I have to write out sticky notes all over and write it out and cross it off. If I don't, I will start one project and then go to another and then go, oh, laundry. And then go to, oh, let me make a snack. And then go to, oh, let me write that down. Oh, that phone call.

I am dying right now. I'm dying right now. So in the morning. This is funny. In the morning, you know, I get all my kids waters, my wife's water, my. My wife's coffee, my kids breakfast. All done, Right? All done. Like, that's my. That's what I love to do in the morning. Take care of my family, right? So I'll do a water, I'll do the coffee, I'll look for my wife's bag, put it in the car. I am, like, going around like a crazy person. To your point. Because the adhd, it can bring out impulsivity, right?

And those are sure can.

Those are impulse moves. Not in a bad way. It's like okay, well, hey, gotta go do that now. And I look back and, you know, I've got my daughter's water bottle sitting on the counter with the reverse osmosis thing. I never turned it off. Water's everywhere, all over the floor, all over the counter. I'm like, good Lord. Like, what is wrong with me? So to your point, I get, like. I totally get you.

Oh, yeah. And I have to have. Sometimes will feel, like, out of control with things, and I have to have everything kind of put in its place to make me feel more like my closet has to be in order. My desk can't be a mess. My working space can't be a mess. Actually, I think you had a post about something about how to raise your gh. I don't know how to get better scores in school by having.

Oh, the gpa. Yeah. Which is what? Clean your dang room, man. You know?

Yeah.

Because. Because, like, a messy environment is a messy brain is. Is. You can't find anything. You don't sit down in a place where you can actually do your work. But, yeah, no, I remember that post I was like, about. I think, maybe a month ago.

Yeah. But I want my daughter to see it. I'm gonna send it to her.

Oh, thank you. Yeah.

Because she is, like, I think, honestly that she. She's never been diagnosed. She's done tests and stuff that said that. Yeah, she does have ADHD as well. But I actually had, like, blood work, saliva. I mean, lab results. Wow. That was like, oh, yeah, you've got the genes for it. You know what I mean?

Okay.

But it all makes sense. It all makes sense. Even from when I was little in school and was getting in trouble for not focusing and doing other things. But my daughter is, like, meticulous about. She collects horses, and she's got, like, a hundred beautiful horses. They're like miniature briar horses, and they're lined up perfectly like no one can touch it. She's got fish aquariums that. They are perfect. Her aquariums. Like, she's meticulous about it. And then I look in her room, and I'm like, oh, my gosh. Are those clean clothes or dirty clothes on the floor?

Yeah.

Did you leave your plate like you're on the floor? You know, we're gonna get bugs. Like, put it away. And so I'm like, I don't get it how she can be in one area so meticulous about, like, how her hair is, how her makeup is, how certain things are, how her writing is on her. I think Riding a horse really helps her with her focus. But then her room is disaster. So when I read your post, I'm like, I gotta send that to her. To her. Why do you. Why do you think that is? Because it. When you have a messy place, it makes you feel me. Well, for me, it makes me feel messy in my mind.

So that's so scattered, right?

Yeah.

I can't deal with it if you're asking me why I think your daughter is that way or why you and I are certain ways that everything else could be a mess, but certain things have to be lined up and buttoned up. I'm that way with my. With my show. Like, my show's buttoned up. The process is there. Like, that is the one thing I can tell you, right, that I am locked in on, even to the. I still edit my own stuff. Like, not my episodes, but my reels and things like that. But when you feel that's the one thing that you can control, you double down on it and you get impulsively focused. It's like hyper focus. Well, that's the only thing you talk about.

So, yeah, like, that's how I am about my event. I've been obsessed. Like, why aren't I getting the graphics sooner? Why isn't the website updated? And I'm just like, hyper focused on it, which cannot be a good thing sometimes.

No, it's not. It's not good for you and it's not good for your husband. Right. It's like, oh, yeah, you're right. Yeah, like that. That's the thing, though. But, you know, we're driven people, we're former athletes. We're resilient, trying to build something amazing for people. And, and you do an amazing job with your. With your Mastermind members, providing so much value to them. They are so blessed. I. I really. I know a few of them and I know how much they value you, but I hope everybody truly understands that what you provide them, nobody else is doing. Like, nobody. And it's, It's. It's heartwarming. Like, thank you really is.

That means a lot. And I know you are close to a few of the members who. And. And these women I love. Like, my husband's very private. He doesn't like people to come over.

Yeah.

I was like, oh, yeah, honey, I'm gonna have like 20 women over. And he was like, what? And then he finally came back. He's like, look, I know how much you love these women, so, yeah, have it in the house. It's fine.

Yeah, I'M very close with, maybe like really close to two of them, you know, like, really close.

Would that be Jillian and Jennifer?

Yeah, those are my girls.

Yeah, they're awesome. Oh, I love them, too. But you provide, you know, the determined society, and let's talk about that a little bit, because I want people to know, especially athletes that you're working with, how they can get into a community. Because I. I mean, I think that being in the right community just changes everything. When you have that support, when you can brainstorm together, you can have some guidance. It is not only career changing, it's life changing. So I cannot say the importance enough of being in a mastermind, having a coach, having a mentor, having somebody that you can connect with, who can guide you on your journey. So how can people get involved with your determined society?

Yeah. So my athlete program specifically, I mean, this is something that I don't feel anybody's doing, and I'm a lot like you. I give, I give, I give, I give. So the biggest thing that athletes face on an everyday basis is that mental performance anxiety. The, you know, the. The fear of the unknown and wanting to be perfect, right? And so what happens is their performance suffers and they go through mental instability, right? They can get depressed, they can, you know, turn into bad teammates. Unfortunately, over the last few years, we've seen actual collegiate athletes and, you know, younger athletes commit suicide because of the pressures in their sport and the bullying that goes along with it if they aren't performing like they want to or like how somebody else wants them to. So it's serious stuff. So what I started to do is I was like, you know what? I'm going to build out a community for these people, right? I know how it feels. I know how it feels to work your body and your skills, your hard skills so much that you are ready physically and technically. But what about the soft skills? What about the mental toughness? What about the mental resiliency in order to perform at a peak level physically? No one works on it. No one works on it. I got to LSU and I'm like, oh, my God, I am way behind. I'm going to fail because I am mentally busted. And I didn't work on it. So what I've done is I've created a peak performance community for athletes. We meet every Sunday night on Zoom at 8pm Eastern, and it's only 60 bucks a month.

Now. There are women in.

There's. Oh, my gosh. Yes.

So, okay, that's awesome.

I have. I have two girls from Notre Dame that are volleyball players. I have one girl that I invited last night, just signed to run track and field at Kentucky. She's jumping in the group. And I just. I just raised my prices. I was. Was at 30 bucks a month now. I'm still in a very, like, in my opinion, very low barrier of entry. 60.

Oh, yeah, for sure.

My goal is to build this thing out to where I have a thousand athletes in it, and I have to run multiple calls every single week. That's the goal. And it's amazing. You know, we had our first guest speaker last night. Corey Wade is a former major league pitcher. You know, played with dudes like Maddox, Greg Maddox, Alex Rodriguez, Derek Jeter.

I just loved being at that celebrity softball tournament because I need to know

about it next year. I need to go.

I didn't know who a lot of the athletes were, and people in my family were like, you don't know who that is? That's the picture for the Rangers or that's the Dallas. He's a Dallas Cowboy. Or, you know, and so somebody like you who really knows a lot of those celebrity, like, athletes.

Yeah.

Like, oh, my gosh. And, you know, I. For this game, when they asked me to play again, I said, yes, yes, I will be there. I will play as long as I can bring my mastermind people on the field with me to meet athletes and celebrities. So I get there, and I'm like, yeah, I need, like, 15 wristbands. I mean, not everybody could make it, but they the people who could. I showed up, and I had, like, a whole bag full of wristbands. They gave them to me, and I was like, here, y'. All. Here's your wristbands. And as soon as the game was over, they could come down and come on the field. So it was a lot of fun. But you would really, like. I would love for you to come. If they ask me back next year, let's see if they ask me back.

If they ask you back, say, I have somebody else that needs to play.

Okay, I will.

We'll tear it up.

Yeah, I will do that if you do some lessons with me. So I'll practice playing ball.

Here's the deal. Here's what we're gonna say on air, right?

Okay.

Nobody can go back on it. I will fly out two days early to work with you.

Okay, let's do it.

Two straight days will work.

Okay. Can I just tell you one thing? And you're gonna be like, oh, goodness. So when they asked me to play last year, my husband was like, you are crazy. You're gonna get hit in the face with a ball.

Yeah.

And I'm like, no, I'm not. And so I went to the store with my daughter and I got a glove and a ball and a bat, and I was, was like, okay, I'm ready to go. We get home, the sun's going down a little bit. My daughter and I are going to practice throwing the ball. The first time she threw it right in the face.

Oh, my God.

Hit my nose. She's like, mom, your nose is crooked and it's bleeding. And I was like. And my husband just looked and he was like, see, I can't even watch this. I cannot watch this. And I was just like, I'm going to practice. I'm going to be okay. Let me get some, some toilet paper up my nose. Make sure I kind of pushed it over.

Oh, my God. You set your own nose back.

I swear.

Animal. Good lord.

I'm crazy. Well, I, I've actually, I remember one time I, I. My finger jammed. I looked at it and it was like, crooked. I mean, it's crazy to look down at your finger and it's crooked. And I just set it back real quick and went to the doctor and, and he goes, well, it set really well. Who set it for you? And I said, that would be me. He goes, well, you did a good job resetting it. It's still a little swollen and that's been like four years ago, but hey, I reset.

Lord, man, you're an animal.

Oh, my gosh. So, okay, we're gonna do it. We're gonna.

It's done? Yeah, it's done. Let's do it.

Okay, well, how, how to. Pete, tell us how people can get involved with your community. And one more question. Well, two more questions. How old do you have to be to get in as an athlete?

You know, that's up to the parents, really. Right. So I have an 8th grade football player that, that attends every single week. Right.

Okay. I think, I'm just thinking for my daughter.

How old's your daughter?

She's 15. And, oh, absolutely. She's a horseback rider. And so much of it is about her mentality. And we just got a new trainer who is a amazing. And it's incredible to see that she went from getting thrown off the horse, the horse rearing up, and to now there's a connection. Her mindset is she's jumping big jumps again. And it's so much about what your coach or your trainer is, is sharing with you. So that's Why? I was asking. I was wondering if, like, maybe my daughter could, like, I'd be honored. I would love for her to learn that. And sometimes as a parent, they don't listen as much as they do from someone else. So. Okay. Yeah. She's 15.

Yeah. Well, I would say absolutely. I mean, she's in high school. Right? So. Absolutely. Like, let's do that. You know, the way to get involved would be to find me on Instagram at the Sean French and message me. I answer all my messages. Now, there's a. Hold on. Let me qualify that. Unless you are trying to sell me crypto, trying to tell me you can get me more engagement.

Oh, my God.

Trying to sell me podcast reviews. Like, I'm not. No. Like, yeah, but if you are coming to me, I always check my request box and my hidden request because I don't want to miss anybody that needs help. So you can go there or you can email me, Sean frenchdeterminedsociety.com I'll answer.

Thank you. You're amazing. You are amazing. And the impact you're making is incredible. And I got one last question for you.

Absolutely.

What is your definition of resilience?

Oh, gosh. My definition of resilience is when you're feeling that pain. Not running from it, that. That. That emotional pain of where you're at, but leaning into it and feeling the feelings, acknowledging them, but still doing it anyway.

Right.

And not saying, well, I don't feel like it, so I'm not going to today. You still do it. That's a resilient individual.

I love that. Powerful. Well, you guys, the links for his Instagram, his email website will be in the show notes, but take a picture and tag us on social media. I love that when I see that in, you know, a story with somebody sharing the podcast, and when I see it and you've tagged me, I always reshare it. So, Sean, thank you for being absolutely in my life, my friend, on the show, sharing your wisdom, and I just really appreciate you. And thank you all so much for tuning in. I appreciate you listening to the show. Because of you, you have made this podcast a top 1% podcast globally. So thank you for being here. Thank you for subscribing to the show. Thank you for sharing it. That means a lot. And make sure that you catch us next week and listen to the next episode. But, Sean, thank you for being here.

Thank you. Much love.

Much love. And we'll see you next week, everybody.