Authenticity: Sharing Personal Experiences for Growth with Billy Dha Kidd

Thank you for tuning in to the True Grit and Grace podcast. I'm Amberly Lago, and I'll be sharing inspirational stories of resilience and empowering ideas to elevate your business and your life, ignite your passion, and fuel your purpose. Hey, thank y' all for tuning in to True Grit and Grace. I have a friend of mine on the show today that I have been so excited, excited to share his wisdom, his story, his book, his music. With you, I've got Billy the Kid on the show with us, and he's the host of the Million Dooll Hustle podcast. I had the honor of being on his huge show. He is an artist. He does have a lot of rap music out there, and you can find his music on Pandora, Apple, Spotify, YouTube, I mean, you, Apple, you name it, you can find his music out there, and I'll put the links for that soon. But he's got this book. It's called the Power of Being Uncomfortable, and that's what I want to dive into today because it can sometimes be scary to be, you know, to jump out of your comfort zone. But he is an incredible dad. He's an entrepreneur, he's a coach. He's got a mastermind, and his story of resilience is so inspiring from Ste. Starting with nothing and building the life that he has today. It's really like the American dream kind of story. So welcome to the show, Billy the Kid. Let me cue some music.

There you go.

Okay.

So excited. Thank you for having me. Umberly. I'm. I've been looking forward to this. I'm. I can't wait. You're just such an amazing person, and I. Those of you are listening, we have that podcast. It's still in the queue, so I can't wait to release your. Your podcast. I've listened to it a couple times already after it was edited, and it's such an amazing show, so I can't wait to share that episode with everybody. Looking forward to that as well.

Thank you. Well, we met. I was speaking at an event in Atlanta, I think was where it was, and it was an amazing event. And after I got off the stage, I walked around the corner and I had a bunch of people, like, at my book signing table, and I was like, oh, wow, y' all are here, like, to. For y' all want a book. And you stood in line to get a book, and I got to talking with you, and you gave me your business card, and I immediately loved your energy and just the little that you shared with me then. And I saved your business card and I put it in my little fanny pack. And when I got home, I looked you up and started following you on social media and everything and was just blown away by all that you have achieved, but also the kind of person that you are and you're such a good dad. So happy birthday to your beautiful daughter. We have a daughter the same age. Do you have just one daughter or how many kids do you have?

Yeah, so we have two and actually we have a third one on the way actually. And you know, it's so crazy, Amberly, because we, our oldest is 15. We just had a quinceanera, not like literally a two week or a week ago last weekend. And we had family coming down to Nebraska from California and it was such an amazing. We know that those things are for memories and so that definitely the memories were made and, and, but it's so crazy hearing me say, hey, we're having a third daughter here. It'll be in December. And of course I wanted the boy, right. But at the same time I, I'm all for whatever God wants. That's. I'm just right in the way. Whatever he wants, I'm here. And, and you know, I'm taking that dad role serious, I, I think, or the grow. I, I should say the girl dad serious. And I'm excited. But it's a different feeling on my early twenties when, when I had my two girls. As to now there's this whole other, other great. It's even a better feeling knowing that it's just a blessing. Like, you know, you go back to where I was at. It was more of a stage of trying to make it right. Trying, trying to almost prove myself that I could do it basically. And nowadays it's more like, you know what it, the, this is. We're, we're probably going to enjoy it even more this time. So anyways, 12 years later I have a 12 year old and a 15 year old, so.

Well, I totally relate and congratulations by the way. And I can so relate to that because I had my first daughter when I was 23 and then I waited 13 years and had my second. And it's just there, there it was like having two only children actually. And when I had my oldest daughter, oh gosh, I, I was, I was struggling. I was in the middle of building my business. I was a single mom. By the time she was one year old, her dad and I got a divorce. And so it was just a whole different way that she was raised. And I'M blessed for both of my daughters, but I totally understand where you're coming from. It is, like, just a different experience. And we were talking before we started recording. I was like, oh, man. I so wish my husband, who's Cuban, would have, you know, would speak to Ruby in Spanish because she wasn't doing so well in school, and that was, like, her lowest grade was Spanish. And I told my husband, I was like, see, honey, you got to speak Spanish. And you're like, well, we haven't been doing that as much either.

Yeah, we're. We're very Americanized, for sure. My wife's family is Mexican, and mine's Salvadorian, but we. Yeah, we. We hear that a lot now. They. They do understand it. They. They. They do have certain words, you know, You. I. I think they know more than what I think, but I know. I definitely know that we could do better at teaching them. So we. We get this third opportunity now. Yeah.

That's awesome. And.

And you know what's crazy, Amberly? I want to share this story that it's so funny because it's a little deeper than that. I always like to. There's always a reason, right? And. And when. When I came to the U.S. 9, 10 years old, I used to get bullied for not knowing Spanish or English. And so I was gonna ask you

if you spoke English when you moved here.

No, not at all. It was all Spanish. And. And I feel so. I. I know for a fact. I remember telling myself, you know, as soon as my first born, when I had my firstborn, I remember telling myself, I'm like, they're not gonna go through that. They're not gonna get bullied for not knowing English. And anyways, now I regret it, because I'm like, well, we should have spoke Spanish at home, and then they would have learned English anyways. And it just goes to show, guys, don't ever let anybody stop you from being yourself and doing what you have to do. And I think that's the lesson behind it, is I was obviously, as a. As a father, I wanted to protect them, right? But now looking back, I'm like, no, you know what? I should have just let him. And who cares if people would have laughed at them or whatever, right?

So, well, let's talk about your very first chapter of your books. That's a great segue into. I had to, like, read that again because it's. It. The. It says if they. They will make. They. If they. They will laugh at you. And I was like, oh, my gosh, Did I hear that. Right. And it's so true because you know, there's always going to be naysayers, there's always going to be people who want to criticize and I mean, it's scary taking risk. But I remember when I did my first big event, I had somebody that was criticizing me the day after the event. I was like, I hadn't even processed, debriefed anything. And there's that saying about like if, if you're in the arena and you're doing it and you're doing your own events and, or you're writing the book or you're creating music or doing a podcast, then I'll take some criticism from you because you've been there, done that, and you've succeeded. But if you're not in the arena fighting along with me, I don't want to hear it. But there's always going to be naysayers.

How did you, you know, and, and the. I would like to. On top of what you just said, Amberly, that, that is so true because I have yet to get criticism from somebody who has accolades already, somebody that has done it right. Like instead they actually push you to level up, to go to the next level. So most people that, that are not doing anything with their life is sadly the people that will have the most opinions. And I call those people comfortable. Right? Like they're just in their box and, and the most visual way of seeing the comfort zone is it's just picture a square and you're in it because we've all been there. Even look around, even as of right now, even all the great stuff you've done, emberly, the great stuff I've done, we know that we were in this box now on another level, but we're still in a box that we need to get out of to go to the next one and the next one it. And it's a never ending story we'll call it. Because I truly believe that if you stop growing, because that's what growth is, is just getting out of that box and going to the next level. If you stop growing, you start dying. And there's actually research that shows that people that retire, quote unquote, they actually have a bigger possibility of dying in the next five to 10 years after they retire because they kind of just give up their thinking, their goals and motivation. So it's. It. It's actually that serious. So those of you who are listening, get out of the comfort zone and, and the thing is, enjoy the ride. That's one big Thing is, just because you, you know, whatever your level you're at and you want to get to the next one, it doesn't mean that you can't enjoy what you have. Gratitude is. Is probably one of the biggest things that will get you there. So be thankful for wherever it is that you're at right now, but also always knowing at the end of the day, you're never going to get to that destination because it is marathon. Right? It's a journey. So enjoy the journey, and I promise you that life is beautiful that way.

Oh, we. There have been so many signs. Like, I. I hear your message loud and clear. I mean, I have a sticky note on my computer, and my next book that I have the title for called Joy for the Journey is inspired a lot. Well, actually, do you know who John Gordon is?

Yes, he's a.

He's a friend of mine. And he was telling me, he goes, you know, Amberly, I am really good with book titles, and I think your next book title should be Joy for the Journey. And I was like, well, it's interesting that you say that. I said, because I've. I've actually thought of something along that lines. And my dad, the whole time, my dad always tells me he sees me jumping out of my comfort zone, and he's like, just don't forget to enjoy the journey. He always says that to me, so it's such a good reminder. And I was just messaging a friend of mine. She's a coach. She's amazing. And I was messaging her. She sent me a message about somebody that was recently on Ed, My let's podcast. And she goes, oh, you know, she. She talks a lot about the same topics as you. And I was like, oh, yeah, I've kind of coached her, like, with her messaging and all that. And I was like, and now she's on the podcast that I want to be a guest on. I said, in the last time I saw Ed, he was like, we should do something together. And I was like, I wanted to shout out, yeah, have me on your show, you know? And so my girlfriend said, then jump out of your comfort zone. It's going to be uncomfortable, but ask. And I was like, you won't believe this. I'm reading this book right now, and it's by Billy the Kid. You've got to get this book. And it's about being in, you know, claiming your power by being uncomfortable. And I said. She goes, this is a sign. I said, it is. And it's a sign that I'm having him on the show, and I'm so excited. But, like, for people who are. It's scary sometimes they. People are scared of change. And also, like, I remember when I was moving to California, people were like, oh, you're making a big mistake. Like, you shouldn't do that. So a of times, I won't announce that I'm about to do something because I don't want to hear the naysayers or the criticism or have people kind of dump their kind of perspective on it. What would you suggest for someone to do who's like, yeah, I want more fulfillment. I want to find power and being uncomfortable. How do I start?

Yeah, you know, and that's the beauty of this book. There's so many amazing books out there that have changed my life. And one of the things that I kept seeing over and over was a lot of information, but I wanted more of an action, if that makes sense. Related book. And so I was like, what's the quickest way that I could put a message together? And one of my coaches always says, we're not reinventing the wheel. And I tell that to my mastermind all the time, too. All this stuff is just reminders that we need. We're human beings, literally. We like to be in the comfort. So. So we have to get out of it. But here's a quick analogy that with fear. And. And as a matter of fact, one of my chapters on there is fear is the sign of what you need to do next, right? Like, and it's actually psychology suggestions. So those of you are listening, whatever it is that you're scared of doing next, that's the sign. That's what you need to do. That's the jump that you need to make. I was scared. I was really scared when I left my job, when I left El Salvador as a kid. Like, all those mo. You know, I. I can literally tell I'm scared right now. There's. There's. The thing is it's never going to get easier. And again, that's. That's why it's so important about the journey, right? Like, the decisions I'm making now, they're in a bigger scale, right? Like, but. But it's still scary. But I know the fact that I'm like, you know what? That's why I need to do it. So there. Therefore, I'm gonna go and do it. But one analogy that I want to share with you guys. The buffalo, right? Like the. The buffaloes. If there's a storm coming and if you're watching, I'm Kind of doing something with my hands right now. But if there's a storm coming, cows will actually look at the storm and run away from it. And so guess what? They run away for a while. As to buffaloes, what they do, they see a storm, they actually go up against the storm. So guess what happens? They get it over with and they go. They go across the storm and. And that's something that I just want to say, is face the storm wherever, wherever. And the thing is, at the end, guys, there's always going to be the rainbow at the end. Like, after that storm, there's going to be a rainbow. And I promise you that it's going to be worth it. But that hopefully that helps with that. With that analogy.

Yeah. I loved that chapter in your book, and also I love that in your audible book that you have music. Like, my next book, I am definitely gonna, like, do some of the things that you did. Like, you told people where to find you. You put your music in there. I was like, you made it uniquely yours. So I really loved that you did that. I loved that chapter. And, you know, fear. A lot of times people think f everything and run, but you're saying, like, run towards it, go for it. And I think that when you walk through something that's scary, it builds your confidence, and then the next thing gets a little bit easier, and the next thing gets a little bit easier, and you know what to prepare yourself for, you know? But it is scary how there are some times where I swear I've got some big events coming up, and people say, oh, you still get nervous before you go on stage? And I'm like, heck, yes. My heart starts pounding. I don't care if I'm doing a virtual event or speaking in front of 200 people or 2,000 or more, you know, And I still get nervous, and sometimes my heart is just. I feel like it's going to beat right out of my chest. Do you experience that fear that kind of can go into anxiety almost sometimes? Do you ever feel that way?

Yeah. Yeah. No. And. And I think the important thing is making sure that you feel those things. Like, we're human guys. It is okay to be scared. It is okay to get anxious. But I think also overthinking is the killer of your goals. Overthinking is. Is the killer of the next level that you need to reach. And. And it's funny, I'm actually working on a different book, and it's fine. I don't even know the title fully yet, Amberly, but it's levels of thinking is what I'm going for, or levels of your mindset, Something like that. And it's basically, how can you go from this level that you don't even know you're at, and then also to this level, and then all the way to the perfect thinking, which I'll name Kobe and Tom Brady. Those people haven't even reached that level. So just imagine that. And the book is basically, how can you go to the next level? Well, overthinking will definitely keep you in that same. And, you know, it's that zone, right, that. That comfort zone. So, yeah, I think it's okay to feel it, deal with it. You know, it's a simple message that I tell my daughters. Like, hey, it's okay to feel things, right? Like, whatever you're feeling, even if you're mad at me or whatever it is, frustrated, feel it. But then what's the solution, right? Like, Dean Graciosi, simple message. You. You spill milk. Why are we talking about the spill milk? Instead, bring me the solution. What's the solution? Let's go clean it up and move on, right? So I. I think overthinking definitely kills your goals.

And I think it's so important to choose very carefully what you're focusing on, because, you know, I just had this conversation with my dad last night, actually, where he's got a lot of health issues. He had a really intense, like, a very crazy back fusion surgery that was just. His back is full of metal, and he's had a lot of issues, and he just. He keeps going from doctor to doctor to doctor, and he's focused on the pain and the numbness. And I know you have to get a diagnosis, but look, I live with an incurable disease, and I could sit there and just focus on it and focus and try to find something that, like, gets.

Get.

You know, gets rid of the pain or I can do things to focus on the solution and focus on what I can do and manage it. But I think it's so in order to be resilient, it's so important to choose wisely what we focus on. And I love that you said, you know, it's okay. We got to feel these feelings. And I think that that is what is happening a lot right now. People especially, they got through Covid, and then they're like, okay, well, things are still hard and not easy, and they don't want to feel the feelings. I was guilty of that at one point. You know, I was trying to numb out my feelings. It's Hard, really feeling those feelings sometimes, but they're feelings and they will pass and it does get better. But I feel like there's a lot of people, right, that are numbing it out with either alcohol or drugs or porn or gambling or Netflix or you name it, to not feel the feelings. What would you suggest someone do to start to, okay, I'm going to feel these feelings instead of just numbing them out. Talk to somebody or.

Yes. Yeah, yeah, no, definitely. And with my personal life, Amberly, it's been. But you know, we were just talking off air. Actually, this is the perfect time to bring that up is tell your story because you're not alone. Like that. That's what's crazy is sometimes we go through these things in life and we, we might even be ashamed, right? Like, oh, I can't believe I did that. Right. Like, whether it's drugs, drinking or even worse things out there, right. And I think it's important to know that you're not, you're not alone. And we were just talking about it earlier that I always try to push, even like my people in, in my group is, hey, get uncomfortable and put yourself out there. And yes. Are you selling whatever business? Right. Like, like, for example, with me, I have a construction company that I'll promote sometimes on my social media, right? Like, I lend some money for real estate, I do real estate, I own real estate, I invest in real estate, my music and the podcast, all that good stuff. But at the end, people aren't buying the concrete that I'm going to go pour. They're buying my story, they're buying who I am. And it's funny, Amberly, sometimes I'll go look at a job because I love people, I love being around people. So I'm still physically out there doing the bidding at least. And the reason is because I love people and, and I've met so many great people and, and it's just this like, never ending circle where I, I end up, they end up buying a copy of my book and I was there to sell concrete. And we don't even talk about the concrete at the end. Or, or vice versa, right? Like, if. So the point is, don't be selfish with your stories. What I tell my students, don't be selfish with your story. So where. Find literally the, the worst part of your story, the, the worst times that you've had in your life and share that. You know, I, on my book, I talk about, I was 9, 10 years old when I left my country, El Salvador, and, and you know, that was. I didn't know it at the time, but that was me getting uncomfortable. Right? Like, it wasn't by choice, but I would definitely choose it again. But you're talking, you know, my mom in, in the 90s, I mean, in El Salvador, we had. She had to start a fire, like a camping fire, you know, in order for her to cook for us. And there was no running water, no electricity. And that's the reason why I always like to say is I didn't even start at zero. A lot of people are like, oh, I started at zero. But it's like, no, I started at negative 100. Like, I didn't even have electricity. And we take those things for granted in this great nation. So it is not as bad as you think it is. Always look around and know that whatever it is that you're going through, there's somebody that has it worse than you. And I think that find something that you like. So, for example, what I was saying at the beginning was I do music, so I put my pain on the, on the beat, right? I. Writing a book like that was one way that I, that I let it out. So don't be selfish with your story. And that's gonna help you with all those, the anxiety and all that, because you're putting yourself out there. And matter of fact, I truly believe that, and I read this once, that if you're experiencing anxiety is because you. You actually need to have bigger goals.

You.

You need to have bigger goals in order for you to get motivated. Because once you get focused on your goals, you really don't even have time to almost think about the anxiety. And because you now you're enjoying a ride that, that you're passionate about. So whatever it is, find. Find that thing. And it doesn't have to be recording music and getting on Spotify like I am, right? Like, it could be just journaling, it could be going and talking to your kids classroom. There's so many different things that you can do to try to, you know, at the end. Guys, we're human and we love connection. So share your stories because the person that might listen to it is the person you're going to connect with. Just like when I heard your story, Amberly, I was it literally that, like, that is true. Guys, I stood in the line waiting because I heard you speak, and, and I, I believe in energies for sure. And there was these lives, these energies that, that I, I felt. And your story was just inspiring. So don't be selfish. Guys, share your story, please.

Thank you. Thank you for. Well, thank you for your kind words, too. And yeah, I, before we started recording, you're like, I'm an open book and sharing your story. And I think a lot of times when I have been nervous about something, it's because I'm in my ego and I'm only thinking about me. I'm thinking, oh, what are people going to think? Do I, is my outfit okay? Do I sound stupid? Like, all the things. And I'm like, wait, this isn't about me. This is about the people that I serve and I need to get out of my ego and, you know, stay in my heart and share from a place of. This could really help someone. And so, yeah, I love how you share on social media, on your podcast, in your book. You're such a great storyteller and it's so inspiring to see that. You started, you know, with having, like having to, to light a fire just to cook food and then moving to California and y' all didn't even have a car. Like, your mom would have $5 and go, okay, is how is this going to buy milk for the family or tickets to go on the bus to get around in transportation? And so to go from that, to build the life that you have now and inspire so many other people is just, it's unbelievable.

Thanks.

I was going to ask you, what, what part of California?

So it was actually Santa Ana, and all my family now has moved on from Santa Ana and they spread it to Moreno Valley and Riverside. So when I go, I can visit. That's so just la, LA area. And, you know, I love California, but I, I, I'm in love with Nebraska nowadays. The first year though, that I was here, I remember, you know, middle school kid, and I used to wear shorts and I, I would have to ride the bike sometimes, right. Like to, to get to school. And I was still wearing shorts just because I didn't own any pants in California. And whatever I had, you know, they were just shorts. So I used to wear shorts. And, and now, thank God, I'm able to throw some pants on, so I'm able to enjoy the winters a little better. But Amberly, you mentioned ego. And it's so crazy because on that book that I was just telling you the levels of thinking, there's actually. And so right now it's just a draft. And one of the chapters that I'm thinking that I'm gonna write is, is going to be called Ego versus Experience. And I think, I love that you brought that up because I have always asked myself Too, right? Like, we don't want our ego talking, right? But at the end of the day, it's literally ego versus experience. If you're telling your story, Amberly, that's an experience. So it doesn't matter what anybody said. It was already written. That's an experience. And again, it just goes back. No matter what people are, you know, if they. If they're taking a. They're gonna have opinions anyways. But I think it's important to know that there's a difference between ego and experience. The people with less experience are the ones that talk more with their ego. If you think about it, and I've had that running over and over in every business, whether it's in real estate and in my music world, you know, the people that have an ego, it. They don't have an experience. So go experience at first. And then, you know, I always like to say, sometimes there's people that I wish I would have met even a year later of them working on themselves, because I met them at the wrong time for me personally. But spiritually, I know it was at the right time because whatever that one seed that God told me to plant, there was a reason why I met that person. So therefore, for me, definitely lessons. And then I'm hoping that I left them a lesson. But I always like to go back and say, you know, if. If a year, two years from now, I would have met this person, it would have been a totally different story because they would have had more experience. Right now, it's just their ego talking. And. And so I. I think it's important that always be authentic. Be yourself. If you're being yourself, then you have nothing to hide. Therefore, you're gonna be talking from your experiences. And at the end, confidence is a thing, right? Like, you gotta have confidence. So when you tell your story, just make sure that you talk from experiences. So, yes, like the experience that you were just mentioning, that $5. It's a real experience, guys. Also, even just I was saying earlier that we take this great nation for granted. I mean, talk about a microwave. Like, I wish I would have had a microwave when my mom was starting a camp. Like fire, right? We have a fridge. We have carpet. Like, to me, guys, when I came to this great nation, like, seeing carpet to me was like, I felt like royalty. Even though it was some, you know, poor hood area, right? Like in. In Santa Ana. But to me, it was like, oh, my God, we have carpet.

We.

Like. I think what I'm trying to say is perspective, and it's Levels of thinking. Again, it's the perspective you will get. Get experiences, and all these things are going to happen to you, but you got to have perspective. Matter of fact, I would love to share that. There's actually eight pillars of joy, and one of them is perspective. Like, what's your perspective? That's actually the first one. The second one is humility, because that. The reason why I'm here, guys, is because of humility. Again, going back to those people that will talk out of their ego and that experience, they're not gonna get far. Somebody's gonna pull their card, right? Like, if they're just doing it for social media or. Or just to stunt and come out as this big old person, it's like, no, the reason, you know, shout out to one of my students, one of the things he said was he. He Googled me before he joined my mastermind, my coaching stuff. And he's like, dude, I found this. This interview from, you know, x2009 or something, right? And I have some even before that, but he found that one, and he's like, dude, that's how I knew that, because your story never changed from then. So I knew you were just being yourself. And. And I just think it's. It's super important. So don't let those people with. With ego get you down. Like, you talk from your experience about perspective, humility. So be humble and humor and actually, humility and humor kind of come from the same Latin word. So humor, that. That's another thing you got to have. Matter of fact, guys, like, sometimes when I've talked on stage or even on my podcast or on my music, like, I'll make fun of myself, and that is okay. Humor is part of joy. Like, you. You gotta have humor in life. It. Guys, I'm always smiling. I'm always laughing. Like, it.

You know, my husband always says, don't take it. Don't, you know, don't take yourself so seriously. Like, seriously, like, perspective is everything. For sure.

Yes.

It starts.

And if you didn't know. And if you didn't know. Actually, Amberly, go ahead and give me a smile real quick. Fake smile. Just fake the smile. Yeah, just fake a smile. Okay, so that's hard. Your brain shaking. Your brain, though, doesn't know the difference between a fake and a real smile. So next time you're feeling down, just smile, even though it might be a fake one, and it'll tell your brain that it's okay. And that's just how important it is to smile through life and humor. The Next one. Number four is acceptance. You have to accept your story. And again, it goes back to that. Guys, do you see how this is making a full circle? Just accept it. Talking to my uncle, we talk for hours. He lives in California. He actually came to the quinceanera. And I just love my uncle. He has a lot of wisdom. And you know what? One of the things, we were just talking about some family things that we were going through, and he said, hey, you know what? Those are the cars that you were dealt with. And, you know, you got to look at it as like a poker game, right? Like, that's just what you were dealt with. So deal with it. Accept it. And I think it's. And it was something simple. He said. And then I went on and added, yeah, because you know what? If we didn't experience those bad times, those negative, unhappy times that we probably don't want to go back to, we wouldn't know what happiness is. And that's even today. Like, if. If you step on something while you're barefoot, it's. It's going to be pain, right? It's going to hurt, but you wouldn't know what it felt like otherwise. So again, the microwave. Don't take those things for granted because you don't know what it's like not having those things. So just accept your story. Forgiveness is number five. Six is gratitude. I talked about that. Matter of fact, there was this billionaire that wouldn't get out of bed until he had a tear of joy from all the great things he would think about bed. And once he had that tear of gratitude is when he would get up of bed and imagine if we all woke up that way. So every morning, as soon as my eyes open, guys, I'm always like, oh, my God, thank you for another day. Like, we take those things for granted. Like the little things that. Matter of fact, guys, you waking up should be the biggest win that you should have. Like, period. So always be grateful. I don't want to hear that you don't have anything to be grateful for. There's a lot. I mean, you have hands, like you have feet. Like, those are the little things. And then number seven is compassion. We were just talking about. We're human, so we love to interact, right? Like, so always have compassion to the next person. Matter of fact, if you're ever feeling that bad, go do something for somebody. Go out there and do something. It could be as simple, like, go give out $5, go buy a meal and give it to somebody or a drink, or like, literally Guys, it doesn't have to be any. You see that all the time with Starbucks, right? Like, people pay for the person before you. I guarantee you the person did that.

That is like such a.

Makes you feel good.

Yes. The last time I did that, my daughter and I had pulled over. We weren't expecting the person behind us to, like, thank us or anything. And we had pulled over and they pulled up next to me and they knocked on the window and I rolled the window. Thank you so much for, for buying my drinks. And it just makes you feel so good when you can do something like that.

Yes. Seriously. And literally, guys, if you're feeling low, go do something for somebody. And that's gonna literally right away just wake you up and make you happy. Like, literally. And the last one is generosity. It's funny. Like, it. It's all full circle. Like, again, at the end of the day, why is it that we're doing the stuff that we're doing? To me, I truly believe, like, what I want to do and what I'm going to do in the future is I want to go back to El Salvador and help. I'm doing stuff here locally and, and this is just the beginning. But I know that that's why God has put me in this position. Even the mastermind, just hearing their stories and how one conversation that we might have in that group, I just feel like that's what I'm doing to help others. Right. And. And guys, when I see these people succeed in the group is just this, this happiness. Right? Like, I'm like, oh, my God. Like, it's full. And it's also a reminder. Yes, yes. For sure. So there you have it. Those are the eight pillars of happiness. I hope it helps somebody out there.

Yeah. And I love in your book that you say that happiness is a mental choice. Like, we get to choose to be happy. And there is always something to be grateful for. And look there. There are mornings I wake up and I'. Oh, I do not feel like getting out of bed. I've got a busy day. And then I'm like, you know what? I am not in a hospital bed anymore. I get to get out of bed. And then even when I'm walking with a limp, I'm like, but I'm still walking. I can walk. Yeah, I've got both my legs. And last night we were sitting outside and we have a really, you know, we just moved to the Dallas area and there was like this big thunderstorm. I mean, it was beautiful. It was almost like fireworks in the Sky. So we were sitting outside and we have a TV out there and like this beautiful deck and area and barbecue. And I got emotional and got a little misty eyed because I was like, and I told my husband, I was like, we are so blessed, like, look at where we get to live. I mean, I have worked my butt off for it and I, I've taken a lot of calculated risks, which is one of the things you talk about in your book. And I, I do want to talk about that because, you know, and you also talk about like how sometimes it looks like, oh, well, you're just an overnight success because people with your music and you collecting royalties on your music and, and your construction company and all the things that you do, your investments are like, oh, well, l. You, you're just an overnight success. And they don't see the behind the scenes blood, sweat, tears of years of pulling up all nighters, taking a two hour nap and then getting to work again, you know, and it does, it does take a lot of grit. And by the grace of God, you have, you know, managed to like claim so much luminous, you know, success and accolades and you're so giving about what you share with people and how much you have helped other people either with their music or their videos or the photography or their companies now in the mastermind. And you've taken a lot of calculated risk and that, that can be scary. And I know for me, like writing a book, I didn't get paid to write my book. It was like I had to invest in an editor, invest in, you know, somebody to help me with the design for the COVID And I think that's what a lot of people don't understand is you have to take risk in order to grow and to reach higher levels. And there was something you were sharing about. Your wife had just retired. At the same time you brought somebody on and you had somebody that you were going to pay weekly to work for you. And it's scary. And you know, after I just did my last big event, I hired a team, an assistant that took my money and ran. So I was like, okay, what lesson did I learn from that? Yeah, so I'd already paid them and I hired on a new assistant. So I was paying three. Sorry, four different people to help me with stuff after I'd already taken a loss to run this event, which was very expensive. And it's scary, but I had this dream and this trust that, okay, it's all gonna work out. How did you get through those moments of you're like, okay, I'M gonna take a calculated risk. How do you get through those moments? And actually, maybe. How do you get through. Like, I know my husband, a lot of times is like, when are you gonna start making money at this? And I would just be like, trust me, honey, it's gonna pay off. I have a plan. All this hard work is gonna pay off. And have you had your. Your family members or even your wife like you, or you've lost your mind to take that risk, or have they backed you the whole way?

Yeah. You know, that. That's very. It's a very deep question, Amberly. And. And everything that you're asking is very deep because, for one, yes, my wife has always backed me up. And. And it's gotten to a point where, you know, I'll get home like, yep, I bought another house. And she's like, all right, hey, what's for dinner? Like, just another day, you know, Just another. But one thing.

How my husband is now, too. He's like, okay, you say you're gonna do this, and I know you do it every time you say you're gonna do something.

Yeah.

So he's not really surprised anymore by the things that I. Yeah.

And I think, you know, it's okay, because I guarantee you that you wouldn't be where you're at if it wasn't for your husband. And it's the same with me. I wouldn't be where I'm at if it wasn't for my wife. And it's so funny, because my wife is very on the background. She. You know, she. She doesn't like to record anything or, you know, none of that, but she is literally like, the. The. She's holding me. Right? Like, she's literally the one that's holding me up. And. And I think there's a couple things in there. It's important to know your positions. So just. Because if you. If you see somebody doing these massive things, just know that it didn't happen overnight. Like, they have people like that. Right. Like your husband, your wife. And you asked me about that calculated risk, and. Excuse me, I. It's very much more deeper than that. We all have a calling. And I will say this, that, you know, when I. When I doing music, I've inspired people to say, oh, and there's a difference between inspiring somebody and then somebody seeing it. And, like, well, if he could do it, but I'm going to do it, too. And. And take this whole other negative way. Right. Make sure that you get inspired. But don't. Don't forget that you have your own story. Matter of fact, like, even identical twins don't have the same fingerprint. Guys. Like, how, How. Like, just imagine, like, God gave you a special touch. Like, we. We forget those things. And so what. What I'm trying to say is, just because you see Amberly writing a book, maybe that's not what you should do. But maybe it should. You know, maybe it's a podcast, but it's a whole different type of podcast. Don't copy what Amberly is doing, or vice versa, Right? Like, with me, the same thing. And I've had people that will look at it and be like, oh, I'm gonna do this music thing. And then they expect the same, you know, I can't. Honestly, it's so funny. I can't even remember how many albums I have out now, but at one point I had, like, 11, and they wanted the same. And I wrote about it on the book and because that's when I counted, I'm like, how many albums do I have? And they want. They want the same success with their first song. Not even an album. Not even the first album. But it's like, hey, I have 11 albums that I've been putting in work with. And it relates in any industry. In real estate, for example, I've had friends that will jump in, thinking it's a game. And even, you know, kind of like, I'm not gonna ask him for help. I'm gonna do it on my own. Right? Like, I. Whatever. Like. But where did they get the inspiration from? So for one, you're lying to yourself. And then a few months later, they bought a property that. And it's because they're not being themselves. They're. They're not keeping their story. Like, write your own story. Write your own book. We all have a book. And again, God made you different. So when you take risks like that. And again, I go back, I've had people that will quit their job, and they're not calculating anything. They're just inspired by the story that I have. And it's like, do you realize that I was at the corporate job for 14 years before I quit? And I could. And I mentioned in the book, I could have quit seven years prior to the. You know, halfway through that, I could have probably quit. I already had a calculated with my music, and then I could have quit three years before the time that I did. Now, don't get me wrong, I also know a lot of people that took that jump, right? And they're very successful as well. But the nice Thing, guys, is those of you are listening, you could actually calculate these things. It doesn't have to be this risk. And matter of fact, if you just jump off your job to pursue this dream, you're buying yourself a lot of stress. Let me tell you that. And I've had people that have done that where they see my story and they're like, oh my God, I'm just gonna quit my job. And I have to tell them, like, hey, you know, I probably would quit. I would quit, you know, keep put in the work like that.

Yeah, there's no, I'm telling you, that is exactly what I did, like years ago when I decided I wanted to. So I was a professional dancer and I always, always had a side hustle. I would wait tables so I would have something that steady income coming in. I always knew I could count on that if I didn't get a dance gig. Well, when I got into personal training, before I quit my waitressing job, I made sure I had not just enough clients that were steady that I knew I could pay my rent. But then I quit my waitressing job. This I didn't like at all. And it gave me that little pain, that little uncomfortableness that I needed to push me harder to, to, to get more clients as a trainer. But I never just like quit to go. I always had, I, I always had like some. And you know, so many people have said to me too, like, well, what do you mean? When you first became a speaker, you did talks for free and didn't get paid. And I was like, well, how did you make money? I said, I've had a coaching business for 26 years. I said, I never stopped coaching to become, you know, full time speaker. And that's one thing that you have, like, you've got so many different streams of income between your properties, your royalties, you know, your construction business, all your mastermind, all these things. And I think that's really important to have several different streams of revenue coming in. So you, you can take some risk that you can invest in doing a book or you invest in doing a podcast. And one thing I love that you shared is you were like, you know, yeah, you, you weren't making money to do a podcast when you started your podcast. And I was like, yeah, I don't think people realize it actually cost money to do a podcast, but the risk that what it brings in return is like, we've become good friends now. Just because I got to be on your show, you're on mine. And I mean, I'm like, We're going to be friends for life. You're stuck with me, by the way.

Yes. Same. Love it.

But it's so. It's so rewarding what you get in return. It's so much. And you even talk about that in the book, how it's not always about the money. It's like, connections mean so much to me. And I like that you value connections so much, too.

Yes.

But I want to go back to something you said, because you do talk about it in the book, too, about. You know, a lot of times people have tried to copy, usually I actually had my assistant say, hey, do you know who this is on social media? Because they're actually copying everything that you write about, almost word for word, and they're doing a post about it. I've had. Man, let me tell you, I've had some accounts on social media say they're me and their graphics actually look better than mine. I was like, wow, your social media looks better than mine. And it was, you know, fake account. I always tell my daughter this because she's had so many people that copy what she does on TikTok, or they copy what she does with her horse or whatever, you know, And I'm like, the. The original. The copy is never the same as the original. The. The original is special, unique, authentic, and

it always comes out.

And I feel like people can sense that. Yes, there's something about it. And. And I recently had to remind myself something. I had somebody that I really was helping, man. I, like, shared my. My graphics team with her, my podcast team with her. I was connecting her with people. I was even coaching her on how to share her story. And then all of a sudden, I'm like, oh, my gosh, she is starting to say that she does exactly what I do, like, almost exact. And I was like, what is going on here? Like, And. And Johnny was like, well, Amberly, you're just doing too much. That's my husband. You're doing too much. You should, you know. But I love to help people. But you've definitely had some experiences where you've tried to help somebody and they went from you helping them to becoming your competition.

Exactly. And it never works. The original is always better. Right. And it. The. The thing, guys, is everything that you listen to and just go out there and get inspired. It should motivate you. And matter of fact, if it doesn't, then there's a problem, because that's what motivated me. Right. But the thing is, you don't want to do exactly what that person is doing again. I got into real estate. So now Fast forward almost 10 years later, and it looks nice, right? But once people copy it because they're, oh, well, he did it so fast. I want to live that life, right? And it's like, like that they jump in and they realize, whoa, this is not as easy as YouTube makes it sound. It's funny because I'm always sharing stories like that on my social media. Like a main water line breaks and you're talking 10, 15 grand to fix it. And I'm like, hey, this is what your gurus are not showing you. And I think it's important to know if I inspire you with real estate, like, it's like, find your lane. Like, maybe it's stocks that you were meant to be, right? And it's okay. And also real estate is okay too. But don't do it out of that. That. Don't do it out of anger and, and negative feelings, right? Like, do it because you truly want to help people. The real estate with me, it's like I try to be the best landlord that I didn't have growing up with my mom, right? Like when we would call and they wouldn't show up, like, I try my best to do that, and I think it has to be bigger than that. And, and people forget that they, they see Amberly and they're like, oh, I want what she has. But little do they know, it's been 20 plus years in the making. And also taking those risks, like, I love that you said, like, people don't know. Like, you had to pay for your cover. You had it. Like, people think it's so easy. And also people want it. Like, they're, they're so used to the nine to five. And, you know, if I put in eight hours, I'm gonna get paid those eight hours at the end of the week. And people are so caught up on that. But this journey that we're on, and those of you are listening, if you're in the journey of inspiring others, it's a never ending journey. And today you might listen to something that Amberly said or that I said that won't make sense to you. Maybe even five years from now, 10 years from now, and you're gonna go back to that moment and you might not even remember you heard it on this podcast that you know. But the, the point is that those are the moments, guys. Like, it doesn't happen overnight. Like the book that, that I wrote, you know, it's barely catching on, right? Like, I didn't expect to write this book, and then the next day for me to be like, okay, I'm gonna make a million dollars out of this book. Like, it just doesn't happen that way. Do it because you love it. Be yourself. Be authentic. Don't go out there trying to copy people and. And do all that. Like, be yourself. Because it does not work, guys. And. And I've seen it over and over. It's so crazy. It's almost like God is always watching. And again, we all have different fingerprints, meaning we're all different. Share your story. You're doing. Again, you're being selfish if you're not doing that anyway. So be yourself. Be yourself.

Yeah, I love that. I love that advice. Well, one more question. What is your definition of resilience?

I think it's knowing that again, it's a marathon, it's a journey, and so things will happen. You just have to keep running the race. You have to just keep on going. I think you look at Kobe again and, and you know, the stuff that he did, like, he. He was up at 4am so funny. There's this analogy of like, okay, you look at the rock, and who wouldn't want his body, right? Like, I would be like, oh, well, yeah, I want the body, but are you gonna do the rock things? Are you gonna wake up at 2:00am from a trip that he just landed at 10:00pm like, he shares sometimes. And. And I think that's resilience to me, right? Like, but write your own story. Just because you go to the gym, you know, one quick note that I just talked about on. On my mastermind was just because you go to the gym at 4am and you're gonna do all this stuff, doesn't matter. There's people that go to the gym at 4pm the question is, are you getting results? That's the main question. It doesn't matter. You could go to the gym at 2am and if you're going to be on your phone for half an hour and then the other half hour you're gonna work out, you're wasting your time. And somebody that goes at 4pm for 20 minutes will probably get more results than you do that left their phone away. And so I think that's what resilience is to me is like putting in the work. This is on my new book that I. Again, I'm. Right now I'm just kind of drafting ideas. And, you know, people want the external, right? Like the stuff that they see on social media and. And the great stuff that Amberly's doing now that the great stuff that I'm doing, but little do they know is I, I literally get it. Get, get home. Shout out to Anthony Trucks. He talks about being, doing the dark work, right? Like you sit around and people don't see the internal stuff that you're going through, the stuff that you're putting in the work for. They. They just see the external. But I call that noise. Guys. The thing is, if you focus on making noise, it's going to be hard to make noise. But if you just focus on, okay, how can I become a better person, a better father, a better husband, a better, A better friend, a better son, etc, if you focus on those things, the noise will be there. You're gonna make noise because you're becoming a better person. You're going to inspire others. So don't sit there and worry about that noise. That literally is just noise. And if you just do the right thing, if you focus on the internal, you put in the work, you, you, you're resilient about it and you just go hard. You're gonna make noise, but don't let that noise fool you. Always stay humble, which we talked about earlier, that's kind of like my, my definition of just being resilient. Never give up. I have a song called Everything Is Possible, Just Hustle that is like perfect

for true grit and grace. It's like, yeah, work hard, hustle, but be humble and kind. Everything you share just really touches my heart. And I know so many people are going to be inspired by your words. And I've got a lot of guys that, that reach out to me and they're like, you only have a mastermind for women. And I'm like, I know, I'm sorry. So I'm glad that you have a mastermind that I can refer people to. But what's the best way if they want to listen to your music, they want to grab your book, in touch with you about your mastermind? How can they do that?

It's Billy the Kid.com so d h a k I d d dot com. You'll find everything on there. Matter of fact, if you want an autograph copy, go to that website. If you don't want an autographed copy, I would say shame on you, but whatever. You could find it on Amazon and it's on Barnes and Noble everywhere else. But Instagram has been pretty good to me that I feel like I focused a lot on Instagram. So I'm usually on Instagram a lot, but really any social media, somehow I always Try to get back to people. Yeah.

And you're on TikTok, too. You had a lot of videos.

I just started that. Yeah. Yep. I. I just started it probably a good year ago. So, yeah, I'm on tick tock, too. YouTube. I've been on YouTube for a few years. Just. Just anywhere, guys. And if you ever need a prayer or anything, please reach out like you're not alone. Like, again, we're. We're not alone. Just share your story so you can see that there's other people that will like your story, and they're gonna feel it, too, because they've. They're going through something similar. So if you're telling them what the solution was for you and how you made it through that, you're changing people one person at a time, and you're changing the world that way. So.

Yeah. Oh, well, thank you so much, you guys. All the links are in the show notes, so if you're driving or you're out for a run or something, don't worry. You can check out the show notes and. And be able to connect with him. And thank y' all for tuning in to True Grit and Grace. Take a screenshot, whether you're listening on Apple or maybe you're watching this on YouTube, and tag me at Amberly Lago Motivation and tag Billy the Kid. And when I see that it means so much that you listened and got something out of this podcast and you learned from it, and I always share it, my story, when I see that you've tagged me. So thank y' all for tuning in. Thank you so much for being here and being so amazing.

Thank you. I just want to tell you that this was amazing, and you're changing lives, and I'm so grateful that God crossed paths with each other, and there's a reason, and we're just gonna keep digging for that reason, and the noise will be made for as long as we keep digging. So thank you so much. I truly love everything that you do. Your book and keep doing it. You're amazing.

Thank you. You're amazing, and thank y' all for tuning in.