Amberly Lago [00:00:00]: What is wrong with you? And I was like, that’s not the right question. Like, so hard on myself. Renee Marino [00:00:07]: You learn along the way, but so often we get caught in— I call it in the book the three-act play, right? Well, I’m not ready. I’ll get on camera when I lose weight, when I like the way my voice sounds better, when, when my hair is a different color. I’ll follow that dream when my kids are grown, when I have more money. I mean, we can make excuse after excuse, and yes, they’re valid, yet life will keep lifing. Amberly Lago [00:00:29]: Some people said, well, I’m just gonna wait until things get normal. You said, no, I’m taking action, and you went all in. Renee Marino [00:00:36]: I do it imperfectly, even when I’m afraid, even when I’m scared, even when I’m doubtful. And many think confidence comes first, action comes second, but the truth is imperfect action comes first, and from that confidence is developed. Amberly Lago [00:00:51]: Mm-hmm. I knew in the hospital even though I was stuck in a hospital bed, as long as I could move, I would know that I was moving in the right direction. Renee Marino [00:01:00]: It can change the trajectory of everything that you’re doing. So again, before you enter a conversation, a meeting, a networking event, move your body. Amberly Lago [00:01:10]: Yeah. Renee Marino [00:01:11]: Just move. It can be 2 minutes, it can be 5 minutes, and, and whatever feels good for you, right? We love dancing. I like doing pushups, squats. Maybe for you it’s just jogging in place, whatever that is. Use movement because it’s— it changes everything. Amberly Lago [00:01:24]: If I can start moving, as long as I can work out, I know I’ll be okay. Renee Marino [00:01:29]: Is this— whoo! Yeah. Take one. Amberly Lago [00:01:34]: Whoo! Whoo! Renee Marino [00:01:35]: We’re live. Amberly Lago [00:01:35]: Okay, we are live. Thank you so much for tuning in to the Amberly Lago Show. I have a real treat for you today. I have somebody really special, a powerhouse, the author of Becoming a Master Communicator, Renee Marino here with us today. Y’all, she is a powerhouse with an art for really teaching people how to communicate, how to build confidence, how to have connection that really improves your relationships and your leadership. She is an award-winning communication coach. She is a bestselling author. She— you light up a room, whether it is— and also whether it’s on a Broadway stage, on a movie set in Hollywood, or on a stage with Tony Robbins or a global stage, she— you light up a room. Amberly Lago [00:02:26]: And I’m so excited to talk to you about how others can really master the art of communication, build confidence to share their message and their voice. So thank you so much for being here. I’m so excited about this. We’ve known each other and spoken online and through text and Instagram DMs and all that for years, and I’m finally getting to meet you in person. Renee Marino [00:02:52]: I know, this is— it was like Christmas for me. I’m like, the night before, I was all excited. I was like, Amberly’s coming over today, we, we’re going to get to meet in person. There’s— this is why I love teaching communication connection. Like, there is nothing like this real connection, to be able to hold your hand, feel your energy. And I just believe in our world today, we’ve lost that a bit because of all the distractions we have, you know, behind the screens, using the screens of our phones and computers as masks. Like, this, this is what matters. Amberly Lago [00:03:23]: It really does. And being in the present moment— and I was so excited that I was going to get to talk with you. And I mean, you’re— I’ve been binging your stuff for a long time on Instagram. Y’all follow her on Instagram, on TikTok, on YouTube. But I’ve binged your stuff, and from the moment I saw you, I felt a connection. And in one of your videos, you said something about, you know, visibility. So everybody’s like, oh, I have to be on LinkedIn. I have to be on all these platforms. Amberly Lago [00:03:53]: But visibility without connection is worthless. And I always say, you know, grit without connection is resistance. And so I think that is something that a lot of people are me— missing is the genuine connection. So where does somebody start today if they’re like, well, I want my audience to feel connected with me, whether that’s through the screen or in person, how do you start? How do you start connecting on a deeper level? Renee Marino [00:04:24]: Step one is always having that communication with yourself. So I teach when I go into companies and I speak from stage, I talk about my 7-step CONNECT method. Amberly Lago [00:04:34]: Yeah. Renee Marino [00:04:35]: And CONNECT, it’s an acronym and the C— I love it. Amberly Lago [00:04:38]: Right? Renee Marino [00:04:38]: Love, love a good acronym. Uh, the C is communication with self. So Amberly, you know this better than anyone. We can never, have genuine connections with others. We can never communicate effectively if we haven’t done so first within ourselves. So really simple practice I love to give is in the morning when you wake up, try it. I know it’s so tricky. Leave your phone on the nightstand instead of picking it up and activating your brain right away, scrolling, going into what I call the good ol’ S&C, scroll and compare. Amberly Lago [00:05:12]: Do you know the first time I heard you say that I had been doing that? I’m not kidding. I had been doing that. Renee Marino [00:05:18]: Yeah. Amberly Lago [00:05:18]: And it, it does put you in comparison mode right away. And it took me out of creative mode and took me into like overwhelm right away. Renee Marino [00:05:27]: Yes, absolutely. Because now your brain is, is activated. You’re, you’re moving away from yourself and what’s going on within. So instead of, of comparing yourself, leave the phone aside. Ask yourself one question, how am I feeling? And then take 5 to 10 minutes to write the answer. Oh my goodness. Writing is the most beautiful form of communication. When we write, research shows this time and time again, we activate more parts of the brain. Renee Marino [00:05:53]: And what we do is, uh, stream of consciousness. And that’s where we pull those thoughts from our subconscious mind into our conscious mind through our hand and onto the page. And Amberly, it’s magical because you’ll read back what you wrote and all of a sudden you’re like, whoa, I thought I was over that argument with my husband, but apparently I’m not cuz I’m still writing about it. Yeah. And it gives you clues, insights as to what’s going on within. Yeah. And when you do that, Start writing about what holds you back, what your dreams are, what your why is. And once you do that and you get connected with yourself, then when you put yourself out there on social media, you’re coming from a more real place because you’ve taken the time to think about, well, what do I want to share on social media? What do I want— what is the message I want to share? Amberly Lago [00:06:42]: What’s important to you? Renee Marino [00:06:43]: Yes, yes. And So many of us ignore what’s going on within because we just can. Amberly Lago [00:06:50]: Mm-hmm. Renee Marino [00:06:50]: If we’re going through a hard time, we could be like, oh, you know what? I’m gonna binge a show on Netflix, or I’m going to start scrolling, whatever it may be. It takes us away from the most important person in our lives, ourselves. Mm-hmm. So fill your own cup, get acclimated with who you are. Amberly Lago [00:07:08]: Mm-hmm. Renee Marino [00:07:08]: And that’s step one. And then step two, which is so crucial, is the O, and that’s owning who you are. Mm-hmm. And what that means is being aware of accepting accepting and sharing not just your strengths and the things we’re proud of— oh, I’ve done this, and, and look at all my accolades— but also sharing those parts of yourself that maybe are your vulnerabilities, or what I like to call your areas of opportunity for growth. And again, Amberly, you do this so beautifully, and this is why we connect so much. When you share those parts of yourself that maybe in the past you’ve wanted to hide what you’re doing is you’re showing those who are out there, or that one person, that they are not alone. For instance, if I share that, yeah, I’ve, I’ve dealt with anxiety in my life, I’ve, I’ve had some really hard times, and I start to share that, maybe there’s a person out there that’s like, oh wow, I just thought Renee was this speaker and this actress. Like, she goes through that too. Renee Marino [00:08:08]: And now they understand four of the most powerful words the human spirit can hear and understand: you are not alone. And when you do that, all of a sudden that connection becomes so strong and real. Because no matter what social media likes to pretend, nobody has it all together. Amberly Lago [00:08:28]: Yeah, right? Renee Marino [00:08:29]: Yeah, we’re all a hot mess sometimes, and that’s okay. We’re human. And when we show that— I know for me, that’s why when I watch your stuff, like, I knew that in person this was going to be such a real connection because I felt your energy. Because you’re so honest, you’re so upfront about the battles that you’ve had, about about the hard days that you’ve had, and that makes me know, like, okay, this, this woman is the real deal. Yes, she’s beautiful, she was a dancer, she’s a speaker, she’s an amazing mother, wife, but you know what? She also went through some hard shit. Excuse my language, sometimes you have to cuss though, okay? I’m sorry, it just happens. Um, but it just shows, wow, I, I get Amberly on a, on a real level. So that’s what I would say: connect with yourself, communicate with yourself, and then own who you are. Renee Marino [00:09:17]: Don’t think you just have to put your best photos, your best videos. How about talk to that camera and get real for a second? Today I feel a little lost, you know. I know from the outside it seems like I have it all together, but there are some days I’m grieving. I miss my father who I lost. I, I miss the way things used to be. And that’s real, and that’s what your audience needs to see, because these people are looking up to you. They want to know who you really are. Amberly Lago [00:09:44]: Mhm. Well, what I need to know is the M is in, in the acronym. Renee Marino [00:09:48]: Oh, oh, oh, oh, you’re— oh, I’ll tell you the whole thing. Amberly Lago [00:09:50]: I want— I— yes, I need to know. I need— well, hey, look, I’m telling you, and we will put this link in the show notes. No, I’m serious. When I stalk her, she’s amazing. I’ve downloaded Become a Master Communicator. I’ve downloaded this. I mean, so much so that it’s usually not on this color of paper, but I ran out of paper. But you have so many gifts that you give. Amberly Lago [00:10:13]: You give so much. Like, I was blown away. Like, when you sign up for your newsletter, how much you give. Like, it’s Christmas. Renee Marino [00:10:23]: Yes, it’s Christmas. Because you know what, sometimes I think there was like an old belief, right? There’s a myth out there like, hold on to your most— to, to your best content. Like, keep it for yourself. I say share. The more value I bring to my audience, hopefully the more trust that I build. Because if, if there’s something I, I, that I created, I want you to have it. I, because I’m there to help. Amberly Lago [00:10:47]: Yeah. Renee Marino [00:10:48]: Right? If we’re there just for ourselves to, for me, me, me, I, I, I, no, we have to flip the script and say, not what can I get, but how can I serve? Amberly Lago [00:10:56]: Mm-hmm. Renee Marino [00:10:56]: What can I give? Mm-hmm. So the N, so you asked what the N is. So C, communication with self. The O is own who you are. The first N is nail down your information. And what that means is, You do it all the time with this podcast. Before you hop on an interview like this, look at you, you printed up everything. She, she nails down her information, right? You, you looked at my social media, you learned a bit about me so that way when we have this conversation, it’s not like just cold. Amberly Lago [00:11:26]: Yeah. Renee Marino [00:11:27]: And when we do that in conversations and say you’re meeting someone for the first time and you take a moment or two, I mean, we’re in the age of information. You can find out anything. Maybe you go on LinkedIn and you find out Oh wow, they worked at a company that I worked at like 5 years ago. Mm-hmm. Now when you have that first meeting, you could say, oh, hey Joe, it’s so nice to meet you. I can’t believe that you worked at so-and-so. I worked there 5 years ago. Do you know John and Jody and Tim? Boom. Renee Marino [00:11:55]: Connection is made. It’s more connection. Yes. Amberly Lago [00:11:58]: Yes. Renee Marino [00:11:58]: Because, mm-hmm. And that person, what that person realizes, huh, Renee took some extra time to learn about me. That feels really good. Because all the human spirit wants at the end of the day is to feel seen, heard, and understood. So when we take some time to learn about each other, it’s, it’s so simple. It can make all the difference. And a part of that as well is being a great question asker. You know, so often I hear people say, oh, well, when I go to network, I have to talk about myself and make sure that they, they hear about all the achievements I’ve had. Renee Marino [00:12:36]: And I’m like, no, no, no, no, no, no. We have it wrong. We wanna seek to understand instead of be understood. So we can do that by being a really qu— great question asker. Amberly Lago [00:12:49]: Yeah. Renee Marino [00:12:50]: Right. And, and not just, hey, what do you do? But how about let’s go 3 levels deep. What do you do? Well, why did you choose that career path? Like, wha— why did you wanna do that? And then 1 level deep, how do you feel that that makes a difference in the world? 3 levels deep. The what, the why, the how. Amberly Lago [00:13:10]: Mm-hmm. Renee Marino [00:13:10]: And when, when someone feels that from you, that you’re, that you’re that interested, all of a sudden they’re like, wow, I wanna talk to Amberly again. We should have a second conversation. Amberly Lago [00:13:21]: Yeah. I, I met someone actually and they just went on and on and on and on and on about him themselves. And I didn’t— I was like listening and that’s great. And asked a couple of questions, but not once did they ask like, Where do I live? Where am I from? What would— did I just start going to church there? Like nothing. Renee Marino [00:13:42]: Yes. Amberly Lago [00:13:42]: Do you know they actually— then they went and looked me up and they’re like, oh, and do you know they actually apologized to me? Like, wow. On camera. Renee Marino [00:13:53]: Wow. Amberly Lago [00:13:54]: For an interview and said, I feel like an idiot and I know I owe you an apology because I just went on about myself and never asked you one question. Oh, I had no idea who you were. And I was like, and that shouldn’t matter, right? It shouldn’t matter. Like,— if they think you’re somebody. Renee Marino [00:14:11]: Yes. Amberly Lago [00:14:11]: Yes. I believe in treating everybody equally. Renee Marino [00:14:14]: Yeah. Amberly Lago [00:14:15]: We talked about this before we started recording. Yeah. I met the first publisher of my book because I had held the elevator door open for someone. Yeah. I didn’t know he was a publisher, but guess what? I got to know him and they published my first book. You know what I mean? Yes. So it’s just doing the right thing and being kind. Renee Marino [00:14:32]: Yes. Those old school manners, right? I mean, Amberly just shared she held the elevator door open. Now let’s really think about that. So many of us are spending all this money on courses and apps and this. We think we need all these external things to make us better communicators, to make us more confident, to connect us better. Really, we just have to go back to those old school manners. Yeah. Looking each other in the eye when, when we speak, holding the door open for one another. Renee Marino [00:15:01]: If you see something, say something. I love this saying, and— but I’d like to flip it on its head a little bit. If you see something, say something. If you see something on another person that you admire— like, Amberly walked in today and I was like, oh my goodness, you’re stunning. She’s stunning. Like, I’m not surprised. Amberly Lago [00:15:18]: Like, I paid her to say that. Renee Marino [00:15:19]: No, and she didn’t, I promise. Like, but, but I mean that. That was my thought and I shared it. I saw something and I said something. You never know. I— one of my favorite quotes, and I include it in the book, by Wendy Mass: be kind, for everyone’s fighting a battle you know nothing about. So if you see something, you’ve beautiful hair. Wow, your eyes are so beautiful. Renee Marino [00:15:40]: Tell that person. It could change their whole day. Yes, yes. And those things are free. Everything that I just mentioned, what you mentioned, these things are free. They don’t take any extra time out of your day. So why are we not utilizing these, these skills that are innately a part of who we are as humans? Amberly Lago [00:16:01]: Mhm. Okay, moving on to the next letter Renee Marino [00:16:03]: of the— next letter. Amberly Lago [00:16:05]: So the second— because you have another acronym too called FUEL that I want to get to, but I love this one. Renee Marino [00:16:10]: Yeah, so N, the second N is Next Level Storytelling. Since the dawn of time, human beings Amberly Lago [00:16:19]: connect through story, and you are the best storyteller. Oh, thank you. I think that’s one of the reasons that it’s easy to follow you and like binge your stuff, because you’re the best storyteller. Renee Marino [00:16:30]: Thank you. Storytelling. We all are storytellers. We just don’t realize it because we do it so naturally with our families, right around the Thanksgiving table. It’s Thanksgiving soon. And we, we tell stories. That’s how we connect with each other. Again, instead of thinking when you meet someone or when you’re in a meeting or when you’re on a stage doing a talk, mm-hmm, right away going to, I’m Renee, I was on Broadway, I’m a speaker, I do this, me, me, me, I, I, I. Renee Marino [00:17:00]: But I just bring you into a story, all of a sudden you’re captivating that person. That’s why movies are so powerful, right? In a movie, the first scene that— the credits finish rolling and all of a sudden we’re into a scene and we see this man running and it’s raining and there’s a bank robber and someone gets shot, and all of a sudden we’re in it because it’s the story. We usually don’t watch movies where a narrator comes out and says, hi, Today you’re gonna watch a movie about a bank robber and it’s gonna be raining and you’re gonna see them running after each other. They don’t narrate it like that. They just bring you into it. So storytelling is one of the most powerful ways to connect and to communicate. So have stories in your back pocket. The first one, your origin story. Renee Marino [00:17:46]: What are the things that make you who you are? I grew up Italian American girl sitting around the kitchen table and you can often find us eating, always eating. Laughing, sometimes arguing, but nonetheless communicating and connecting. So that may be how I start to introduce myself instead of just saying, I’m Renee, yes, I’ve been an actress and I grew up in New Jersey, but I kind of bring you into that story, us around the kitchen table. So your origin story. The next story is maybe how you got into the business you’re in or how you started your business. Yeah. And then the third is kind of a pivotal moment story. Doesn’t have to be something huge. Renee Marino [00:18:28]: It could be just one thing that happened that set the light bulb off, that changed the trajectory of your life. It’s really good to have those 3 stories in your back pocket for when you do meet someone. Yeah. Amberly Lago [00:18:39]: Yeah. Well, you’ve got some incredible stories. Renee Marino [00:18:42]: Yeah. Amberly Lago [00:18:43]: And I can’t wait to get some of those stories. And what’s the next? Renee Marino [00:18:47]: You’re going to love this one. Energize through movement. Amberly Lago [00:18:52]: E— e, baby. Renee Marino [00:18:53]: Love it. She’s my dancing soul sister. Amberly Lago [00:18:56]: So I love that. And, you know, people like— I always do push-ups and prayer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I love that you move and you dance. And I actually can’t help myself when I get on stage and there’s music, I start dancing. And I had an agent one time say, do not dance, it’s not professional. And I was like, well, I’m not planning it. It just happens, you know. Amberly Lago [00:19:22]: And it does energize you. And so it was funny, I just got back from speaking at an event and there I was in my little, you know, pleather black outfit doing push-ups and somebody was like, oh my gosh, it’s real. She really does do this because I’m back. Yeah, about to go on stage and I’m back there. Push-ups. Yeah, but I used to do that before I would go on stage as a dancer because it does move the energy. And action alleviates anxiety. And I saw you did a video about that. Renee Marino [00:19:52]: I’m like, yes, we did. Remember we did on the same— we both posted something about energizing through movement on the same day. And I posted about how if you get anxiety before you speak, move your body. And I showed a video of me before getting on Tony’s virtual event, and I’m hosting it and I’m just moving around. And then you posted push-ups and prayer, and I was like, I’m like, there it is, there’s my soul sister. Yeah. And I do the same thing, squats, push-ups before I go on stage because movement is our medicine. Research shows a direct connection between movement and improved cognitive performance. Renee Marino [00:20:28]: So whether it’s doing a presentation virtually or in person, you’re speaking on a stage or just a conversation like this, move your body first. And it doesn’t have to be push-ups, it doesn’t have to be a dance routine, whatever feels good for you, going for a walk. Because what it does is it transforms that stale energy into fuel to help you move, to help you focus better, so then you can connect better. And I actually love when I go into companies, especially corporations, and I share this because it’s something that they, they don’t hear often. Not to stereotype, but there are several companies where I’ve brought this up and they’re like, oh, I never really thought about that. And I’m like, trust me. And then I get them up out of their seats and we’re moving and they’re like, oh, okay. Amberly Lago [00:21:12]: Yeah, it moves the energy though. It does. It does. And then there was something else that we like— the more we talk, the more I’m like, we have so— we are so much alike. I know, I know. But you had done a video about like how to memorize something. Yeah. And for me, people probably think I’m crazy because I will be on the step mill at the gym going over like some of the things I’m going to share from stage. Amberly Lago [00:21:38]: Now I get on stage and a lot of times I change that whole thing, but it helps me process and to memorize to move. And you did some— a video about— cardio, you’re sweating, and you’re like, is that what you used to do to help you memorize lines for movies? Renee Marino [00:21:57]: 100%. I’ve always done that. And here’s another really powerful thing that I, I believe we all need to incorporate into into our routine when we’re wanting to memorize. Amberly Lago [00:22:15]: Verbalize. Renee Marino [00:22:15]: When we verbalize, we magnify and maximize what we’re saying, and it’s like it locks it into your nervous system. And that’s why movement is so powerful, because like you said, when I’m on the elliptical and I’m, and I’m speaking— I’m speaking aloud. Oh yeah, people in the gym probably think I’m cuckoo. I mean, it’s fine. And I’m like speaking aloud what I have to say. It’s so powerful because it’s like muscle memory. Then you’re not just keeping it in your brain and repeating it to yourself. You’re locking it. Renee Marino [00:22:45]: It’s so different. So it’s so, so important, um, energizing through movement. So I really, I, I really want to share this with everyone that I possibly can because we’re dancers, right? So we’re used to movement. It’s been a part of our, our lives. Yeah. But not everybody— that hasn’t been everyone’s story. So movement has to be more of a conscious effort, but when you incorporate into your life, it’s magical. Amberly Lago [00:23:14]: Well, I feel really blessed that I knew that movement helps in so many ways. Renee Marino [00:23:22]: Yeah. Amberly Lago [00:23:22]: Healing. Oh yeah. Not just memorizing, but healing, but preparing you, moving the energy, moving your mood. Because of dancing. That was my— I— that’s what I went to as my outlet. And then I knew in the hospital, even though I was stuck in a hospital bed, as long as I could move, I would know that I was moving in the right direction. Yeah. And so even though I was completely bedbound, I mean, having to use a bedpan, I asked the doctors to bring me a pull-up bar for over the bed, and they’re like, a pull-up bar and I’m like, yeah, I need to move. Amberly Lago [00:23:58]: I need to keep my upper body strong. And a friend to bring dumbbells because I knew it wasn’t like I got to get big biceps. It was just like I knew that that would make me feel better just to do— Yeah, light weights. And I still have those tiny little dumbbells and I keep them in my office as a reminder of, you know, I can move, you know, you can. And it’s so important. So I’m so glad that you talk about that because It is what helps me. And, you know, I, I’ll never forget going to, um, a shrink. Like, I had postpartum depression, of course. Amberly Lago [00:24:38]: And my husband was like, you need to go talk to somebody because you— like, I was cuckoo. I knew I was like— and I remember telling her, I— the doctor, I was like, hey, yeah. I said I’d had a cesarean. I was like, I know that I’m I need help, but is— if I can start moving, as long as I can work out, I know I’ll be okay. If I can move, I know I’ll be okay. She goes, well, then you definitely need to be on an antidepressant if you have to depend on moving your body to feel better. Stop. I swear I never went back to her after that. Amberly Lago [00:25:16]: Stop. And I was like— and I cried on the way home and I was like, told my husband, I was like, Well, yeah, I’m crazy. Like, yep, she wants to put me on it. And— but I didn’t. Instead, I just moved however I could. And nothing against antidepressants. No, I think that— yes, they really help people. Renee Marino [00:25:36]: Yes. Amberly Lago [00:25:36]: But for me, it just wasn’t the answer for me. But yeah, moving changes. It’s changed my life. Oh, me too. Renee Marino [00:25:43]: You know, I’m so grateful for movement. Every day I thank God. Thank you for, for the gift of movement. Because I’ll tell you, in 2020 when I started my company, after— it was the heart of COVID right? So we’re all stuck home. I was a performer my whole life, so all I knew was like 8 shows a week, up and down the subway stairs, dance class, voice lessons. Like everything in my life has been movement. And then all of a sudden it’s 2020 and I’m like plopped down in front of the computer and I was like, oh my gosh, I don’t feel right. Like, I don’t feel myself. Renee Marino [00:26:18]: And one day, I’ll never forget, I had been on like a couple of Zoom meetings back to back, and Amberly— I’ve— I literally felt like not myself. And I’m thinking, I’m like, what is the matter? And I was like, I haven’t moved my body. Yeah. So then I was like, okay, I gotta get up. And just walked around, did some push-ups, did some squats. On my next call, I felt back to myself. And that’s when I said, I have to start teaching this, because I didn’t even realize until I realized, and it, it can change the trajectory of everything that you’re doing. So again, before you enter a conversation, a meeting, a networking event, move your body. Renee Marino [00:26:55]: Yeah. Just move. It can be 2 minutes, it can be 5 minutes, and, and whatever feels good for you, right? We love dancing. I like doing pushups, squats. Maybe for you it’s just jogging in place, whatever that is. Use movement because it’s, it changes everything. Yeah. Amberly Lago [00:27:09]: One of my favorite videos of you is you dancing to the Unstoppable song. Yeah. Because that’s like my annual event. Everything is all about Unstoppable and I love that video of, of you dancing. But yeah. Okay. Renee Marino [00:27:23]: We could just talk for hours. We could just hang out. Like, you know, what is the next one? Okay. For the next, so crucial. The C is for complete listening. Listening to hear and not just to respond and, before we got— that’s how much they practice. Oh boy, is it? And I, I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been on the receiving end of someone half listening to me. And I will tell you this, with our smartphones, they’re such a gift, but they’re also a distraction. Renee Marino [00:27:55]: And when we’re in a conversation and we’re distracted, that can be taken as a sign of disrespect. It sure can. So we must get back to that that real active, what I call complete listening. Mm-hmm. There was a study done called the iPhone Effect that looked at two people in a conversation with a cell phone present. Amberly, even though neither person picked up the phone, neither person looked at the phone, still that phone proved to be a distraction. Mm-hmm. So if you want to not e— do yourself a service so it doesn’t distract you when you’re in a conversation, put your phone out of sight. Renee Marino [00:28:31]: Yeah, just put it out of sight. That way you’re not tempted to check your email, because we’re conditioned— in the book I talk about, it’s like we’re Pavlov’s dogs, right, who are conditioned to salivate when, when he rang the bell. We’re conditioned to check out of what we, what we’re doing the second we hear a notification go off on our phone. Amberly Lago [00:28:50]: It’s so distracting. It’s crazy. We have dinners, I, uh, I will actually put the phone behind me. Yeah, I don’t want feel it vibrate. When I wrote my last— my newest book, I had my phone on do not— it was like, it would like— I could hear or feel it on the sofa buzzing. Yeah, I had to toss it across the room, not on the ground, but it like landed on the chair. So I couldn’t feel it, I couldn’t see it because it was distracting just knowing it was there. Renee Marino [00:29:19]: 1 million percent. When I wrote my book, I went away for like a couple days. A friend of mine let me use his shore house and I love you, Tommy Brocco, thank you. And it was the most I got done. I was disconnected from my phone, I was disconnected from my everyday atmosphere, and it was, it was so beautiful because I was like, oh, I can hear myself think, I’m not distracted. So listening, it really is so, so crucial, and we don’t do it often enough. Amberly Lago [00:29:49]: Yeah, well, and that’s another reason why I love— and thank you for signing me, of course— and that’s another reason I love a hotel room. I can So much done in a hotel room. Yes. Yeah. Oh yeah. Um, oh, what you didn’t get to— Renee Marino [00:30:04]: oh, and then the last, the last is the T, talk from the heart. Talk from the heart because speaking up is your superpower. Speaking up. And when I say speaking up, that means maybe you wanna share your thoughts and opinions. You want to address a concern or you want to ask a question or ask for what you want. And one of the greatest experiences of my life came about through speaking up. Amberly Lago [00:30:31]: So in— is this the audition? Renee Marino [00:30:34]: Yes, yes, yes. So 2013, I was playing the role of Mary Delgado in Jersey Boys on Broadway. I look out into the audience, and who’s staring at me from 10 rows back but the legend himself, Clint Eastwood. And we got word that Clint Eastwood is going to be directing the film version of Jersey Boys. And truth be told, Amberly, I didn’t think twice about it. I’d never done TV or film before. I always just did theater. So I said, they’re going to hire A-list celebrities out of Los Angeles. Renee Marino [00:31:04]: Marisa Tomei is going to play my role. So I was like, whatever. But then they started calling people in from our cast to audition, and at this point I’m like, oh well, it would be cool just to get a chance to audition. So my agent and I try and try to get me an audition to be seen, and an audition is just like an interview, and Couple weeks go by, my agent calls me and she says, Renee, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what the problem is. They won’t give you an audition for Mary Delgado, but they’ll give you one for one of the smaller roles, one of the angels who sings my boyfriend’s back. And Amberly, I remember hanging up the phone, I was on the couch just like this. Amberly Lago [00:31:36]: Yeah. Renee Marino [00:31:36]: And I was feeling my feelings, communicating with myself and talking to God. And I remember verbalizing and I was like, God, what are you trying to tell me? Like, if I can’t even get an audition for a role I’m currently playing at the highest level I could be, then something’s wrong. Like, maybe I don’t belong in this business anymore. Oh wow, right? And, and I’m sitting there, and then finally, like, God just said, surrender. And I literally threw my hands up, literally figuratively. I said, I’m going to go in and audition for An Angel. Day of the audition, the casting director says, Renee, would you like to sing My Boyfriend’s Back first or read the scene? And at that moment, I heard this quiet little voice within me say, you have to do this, it feels too right. And I looked at the casting director in the eyes and I said, “You know, Jeff, I was really hoping to come in and read for the role of Mary Delgado.” I had no idea what he was gonna say. Renee Marino [00:32:26]: And he’s like, “I was just thinking the same thing.” I’m like, “Amazing! Great!” So I do the audition that day, and I’m— I leave there so happy and grateful because I got the chance. On my way back to the subway, I saw a church. I went in, I lit a candle, said a just prayer of thanks because I was just so grateful for the opportunity. Go back to 8 shows a week on Broadway. A couple weeks later, my agent calls me again. This time she says, ‘You’re Mary Delgado in the movie! Clint Eastwood loves you!’ Amberly Lago [00:32:54]: And I’m like, ‘What?’ Renee Marino [00:32:56]: Like, oh my God, insane! It was one of the most surreal moments of my life. So cut to— let me say this, it’s the first day of filming. Like, really picture this: I’m filming a movie with Clint Eastwood and his team, Warner Brothers lot. Like, this is insane. And I’m in the the first day to set, right? And I’m like, the butterflies are like flying around in my stomach. And again, that voice came in and was like, Renee, you know what you’re doing. Clint Eastwood hired you. Trust in your talent and leap. Renee Marino [00:33:29]: And I was like, okay. So like, I walk in the door that day and Clint and his entire team are just the most wonderful people. And I open up the door. He’s so sweet. Amberly Lago [00:33:39]: Like, he’s perfect. Like, because I’ve met him in person when we talk we first started talking, I was like, yeah, his daughter Allison was one of my clients. Renee Marino [00:33:47]: Yeah. Amberly Lago [00:33:47]: So I got to go to a lot of his events and stuff and genuinely like the nicest person in person. Like the best. Renee Marino [00:33:56]: Yeah. Oh, the best. So walk in that first day after the first day of shooting, every day from the first day on when we were finished filming for the day, I would sit and eat lunch with Clint, ask him every question I could. Clint, where’d you grow up? Clint, how did you start acting? Clint, what’s— who’s your agent? I mean everything. Because just like you, just like everyone listening, I’m sure that’s why you listen to this podcast. We’re sponges and we like to use every opportunity we can to learn and to grow. Mm-hmm. So I would talk to him and then go home and journal every day. Renee Marino [00:34:27]: I mean, I have a journal full of what I learned from him. Wow. Amberly Lago [00:34:31]: Yeah. Renee Marino [00:34:32]: So a month into the film, I’m eating lunch once again, cuz I love to eat. Amberly Lago [00:34:37]: I’m Italian. Renee Marino [00:34:37]: That’s a— and it’s Clint and the producer of the film and me, and they start talking about how Clint knew he wanted me for the role when he saw me on Broadway. And I put my fork down and I said, huh, do you guys want to hear a funny story? I never got an audition for Mary Delgado. The only reason I got to read the scenes is because I opened up my big mouth in the room and asked. And the two of them looked at each other, they said, what do you mean? We requested you. We said we want the girl from the Broadway show to come into this audition. Imagine my surprise. I came to find out that day that there was a middle person, casting associate, juggling a few films at once, and just dropped the ball on having me come in to audition. Wow. Renee Marino [00:35:19]: So, in other words, if I didn’t have the ability to speak up and communicate my desire in the room that day, I could have missed my once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Yeah. And how often do we do that, Amber Lee? I know. Right? We overthink things. “I don’t wanna say— I don’t wanna rock the boat.” We place people on pedestals. “I couldn’t possibly talk to Amber Lee.” ‘You know, she’s amazing. She, she speaks on stages all over the world.’ And we create these stories and we hold ourselves back from speaking up. But we really must understand that speaking up is our superpower. Amberly Lago [00:35:53]: Mhm. Yeah, it, it really is. And it can’t— and, and it’s interesting because I’ve had the same conversation. There was one day I was about to speak to just like 300 people virtually, and I was so anxious and so nervous, and I started talking to God going, ‘You know what, this is just hard.’ Yeah, may— who cares what I have to say? And maybe this is just— I’m not meant for this. I get so anxious and this and that. And my phone rings and I answer the phone. I could have been like, oh, I don’t— why is he calling me? Yeah, this— he never calls me and just not answered it or let it go to voicemail. But I was like, picked it up right away. Amberly Lago [00:36:30]: And they’re like, hey Amberly, uh, we’re doing an event and we’re expecting about 5,000 people. Um, do you want to come? And I was like, yeah, I’ll be there. And I was like, God, you’ve got a funny sense of humor. He is funny, you know. But it’s like, if I didn’t answer the phone, if I didn’t keep showing up— because we all have doubts and Renee Marino [00:36:50]: fears, and I think— I mean, 100%. And you just said it, and I, I think it’s so important to highlight what you just said. You keep showing up. This is a theme that keeps coming up, especially when I speak to women, showing Just show up. Yeah. And I, I always say, I credit the— any success I’ve had to imperfect action. Mm-hmm. Doing it when I’m afraid, when I’m anxious, when I don’t know what the next 3 steps are, just doing it. Renee Marino [00:37:22]: Jump, leap, and the net will appear, right? Yeah. And why that’s so powerful is because when we just take the action, you learn along the way. But so often we get caught in, I call it in the book, the 3-act play, right? Well, I’m not ready. I’ll get on camera when I lose weight, when I like the way my voice sounds better, when, when my hair’s a different color. I’ll follow that dream when my kids are grown, when I have more money. I mean, we can make excuse after excuse and yes, they’re valid, yet life will keep lifing. Mm-hmm. So when you take imperfect action, just like you did, and I love that, God is hilarious. Renee Marino [00:37:56]: The fact that you’re talking to God and then the phone rings, like, yeah, that’s like, God’s like, Amberly, let’s go, girl. Amberly Lago [00:38:02]: Like, yeah, you’re— those little signs like, Renee Marino [00:38:04]: uh, yeah, come on, dude. And what a beautiful sign to say, uh-uh, girlfriend, you are ready for this in spite of your anxiety, in spite of this feeling overwhelming. I have equipped you for this. So I’m going to ring your phone and I’m going to give you an opportunity that’s even more than 300 people. Amberly Lago [00:38:27]: 5,000. Renee Marino [00:38:28]: Yeah. Amberly Lago [00:38:28]: Yeah. Well, you have spoken in arenas with 17,000, 17 plus plus thousand, because if you think about it, yeah, you’re on a, on a Tony Robbins stage speaking in front of 17,000 people. Yep. But that’s aired out to millions, if not billions. Renee Marino [00:38:46]: Yes. People. Yes. Amberly Lago [00:38:47]: So I can imagine you’re like, oh, I’m about to go speak. Oh yeah. What are some of the things that help you prep, mm, to move through? You said you’ve experienced anxiety. Absolutely. Besides movement, is there anything that you do beforehand that helps you prepare for that moment? Renee Marino [00:39:06]: Yes. My routine goes like this: I wake up, I pray, I prime. So if you know Tony Robbins priming for 15 minutes, and it gets you in such a beautiful state of gratitude, reminding you of just all the beauty in your life. Then I will do my push-ups, my sit-ups, and get myself ready. And I remind myself— and this is such a beautiful script flip for anybody who gets anxiety Nerves. Understand that nerves are just excitement with a different label. Mm-hmm. That’s it. Renee Marino [00:39:41]: Think about in your life when you’ve been excited about something, right? Like today I was so excited Amberly was coming. I was like, I like, I had butterflies in my stomach. Amberly Lago [00:39:47]: I was all excited. Renee Marino [00:39:47]: I was like, oh, I’m really excited, right? My heart’s beating outta my chest. That’s the same thing that happens when you have anxiety. So when you start to feel that and let, instead of letting it shut Amberly Lago [00:39:57]: you down, uh-oh, I’m stressed. Renee Marino [00:39:59]: Yes. I’m nervous. I’m anxious. This. Remind yourself, no, I’m just excited. Oh babe, I’m gonna get on stage today. And you know what? And this is the best— I believe the best habit that I’ve created— reminding myself it’s not about me, Renee. It’s not about— yeah, my prayer is that really helps speak through me and, and allow what needs to be said to help these people who are listening. Renee Marino [00:40:25]: Speak through me and allow it to be said. And when I take myself out of the equation, it’s so much better because then when I flub a word or I mess up, or— it doesn’t matter because the best part is that makes you even more relatable because you’re just a human. Yeah, yeah. Who makes mistakes, who is imperfect. And, and that is— that’s what allows you to connect with people, whether it’s behind a camera or whether it’s in person. Amberly Lago [00:40:51]: I, I have to show you the reel that I have in my draft right now that I was going to post tomorrow.— is so much of what you’re saying. We are so much alike. I talk about push-ups and prayer, and I also talk about how I had a mentor of mine. He was coming to see me, so I was speaking at this women’s event and I was so nervous already. Yeah. And then I was like, whew, at least my mentor, who’s a Hall of Fame speaker, isn’t coming. He happened to find out that I was in Arizona speaking. He’s like, I’m in Arizona. Amberly Lago [00:41:21]: I’ll come to the event. And I’m like, I was like, oh, oh good, he did come. Like, he must— maybe he just didn’t, wasn’t able to make it. Then I’m about to go on and I see him walk backstage and I’m like, oh my God, oh my gosh, like he’s gonna see me speak. And I got so nervous and I was like, well, I wasn’t that nervous, but then you came and I’m so nervous. And I went to the bathroom and my friend Patrice walked back there and I just met her. She was speaking at this event first time. She was, well, I was like, I’m so nervous, my mentor’s here, la. Amberly Lago [00:41:51]: And she goes, can I just pray with you? And I said yes, and she held my hands and we prayed, and that was connection. Ah, and we’ve been fast friends ever since. But then I went out and he’s like, well then you’re just being selfish if you’re nervous. And I was like— he goes, that means you’re thinking about you. This is not about you, this is about the people that you’re here to serve. Renee Marino [00:42:12]: And that really, like, it snaps you out of it, right? Like, yes, you’ll still— like, I still feel— I always feel butterflies. I’ve been performing since I was 5 years old. Every single time people are like, do you get nervous? I’m like, every single time. Amberly Lago [00:42:23]: I think I’d be nervous if I didn’t. I think I’d be worried if I did. Renee Marino [00:42:27]: No, I would. I’d be like, what’s wrong with me? Yes. So, so you just— you, you learn to roll with it. But that one statement, realizing it’s not about you, it— you know what it does? It like takes the pressure off. Yeah. Because you’re like, okay, like, I, I don’t have to stress about this. I just have to— I just have to focus on service. Yeah. Renee Marino [00:42:49]: Yeah, and it makes, it makes everything come together in better than you could have dreamt of if you made it just about you. Amberly Lago [00:42:57]: For sure. It, it’s— I just did this talk and I felt like I did not— I like when I can say I feel like I did my best and I’m good, you know. But this talk in particular, I had— I was in the middle of like a pretty major flare-up and it makes me kind of foggy. I just was not feeling well that day at all, but I I was still like— and my husband was like, you don’t look good, are you going to be able to pull it? And I’m like, I gave them my word, I am going to be there. Yes. And then afterwards I didn’t feel like I was my best. Yeah. How do you learn to— because I can beat up myself pretty hard, especially like we were both dancers. Amberly Lago [00:43:39]: Oh yeah. Just like so hard on myself. Do you ever have moments when you’ve done, you know, a, a talk a book or a presentation or a keynote and you’re like, I don’t know if I did so well, and kind of start beating yourself up? And if so, how do you get through those moments? Renee Marino [00:43:57]: 1 million percent, Amberly. I lived most of my life as a perfectionist. And you know, especially as performers, I mean, the only way I knew to deal with myself was to like judge myself, beat myself up. Renee, what my, my old question— as Tony Robbins talks about, what’s your old question? That question that you always ask yourself. Mine was always, what is wrong with you? Yeah. Renee, what is wrong with you? Why can’t you kick on the right leg like you do on the left? Or Renee, what is wrong with you? You messed up. You made a mistake. And it’s like I conditioned myself to only— I was only able to get better if I beat myself up. Renee Marino [00:44:37]: So yes, the answer is yes. When I was on set filming the Jersey Boys movie, we were filming— if you see the, the movie, it’s the big scene where where Mary and Frankie break up. So we go to do this scene once, and we do the scene, and in the scene, my character, she is drunk, she is pissed, she’s had it. So we do the scene once, we stop, and, and Clint’s like, “All right, now I want you to really give it to him.” So I’m like, “Okay.” So I get myself in character, and we’re walking up the stairs in the scene, and I start the lines, and I’m like, “You show up for a couple of days, and you think that makes you a father?” And all of a sudden I forget all my lines. Literally, they like, poof, they just left my brain. Oh gosh. Okay, in the middle I’m like, oh, okay, on the Warner Brothers lot, here’s Clint Eastwood. Like, a few seconds later I pick it back up, we finish the scene, they yell cut, and Clint goes, that was it. Renee Marino [00:45:32]: And I go, Clint, I forgot all my lines. And he goes, I don’t care, it was real and it was raw, and that’s good. When I was filming with Meryl, and in my head I’m like, oh my God, he’s talking to me about Meryl Creep. He’s like, she used to do a million takes of her scenes until they were perfect. Until one day I filmed a rehearsal take and she watched it back and she saw how real and raw it was. She never did a million takes again. Wow. And in that moment, Amberly, a light bulb went off and he showed me the gift of imperfection. Renee Marino [00:46:09]: Because when I stepped outside of myself, I said, oh wait, when you’re pissed and you’re in an argument with your husband or your significant other, sometimes you’re so heated you forget what you’re gonna say. Like, it just goes out of your head. And I was like, that’s real. And then I started to really reflect on this, and I journaled that night in my journal, and I said, wow, imperfection is beautiful because we’re all imperfect. And it’s relatable. It’s relatable. And from that day, I mean, that The— like I said, he taught me so much more beyond acting. That was one of the greatest lessons he ever taught me, the gift of imperfection. Renee Marino [00:46:46]: So now, to get back to your question, yes, do I still have days that I beat myself up? Yes. But I’ve learned now to relinquish that control and to give myself grace by saying, Renee, you did your best under these circumstances. Maybe today you weren’t, you weren’t 100%, right? You, you could say to yourself, Amberly, you weren’t 100% to start with. So the fact that you even got up there, the fact that you even put yourself out there, kudos to you, girlfriend. Mm-hmm. And I’m learning and I’m a work in progress just like we all are. Yeah. To, to honor myself more and give myself a little more grace because I give it to everyone else so fully and beautifully. Renee Marino [00:47:30]: But when it comes to myself, it’s always been such a struggle. So I like to say I’m now becoming a reformed perfectionist. Amberly Lago [00:47:38]: Yeah. And you know, the question, your question, that was my question too. So I really related to that. Yeah. And I’ve actually caught myself and changed that, not just with myself, and I still do it sometimes. I still will— that question will pop up. But when it really came apparent to me was that it needed to be changed is one day came out of my mouth to my daughter, what is wrong with you? And I was like, oh, And that’s not the right question. Yes. Amberly Lago [00:48:10]: Like, I’m saying that there is something wrong with her when all is right. All is right with you. You know what I’m— I’m trying to shift that. So I noticed it in me when I said that to her, and I thought, I don’t want her to be Renee Marino [00:48:25]: that way, you know. Amberly Lago [00:48:27]: How amazing. Yeah, it’s hard though. And giving yourself grace is also— oh, Renee Marino [00:48:32]: it’s so— and it is Isn’t it so interesting? Because I know you’re the same. I mean, you’re the most loving, giving soul. Why is it more of a challenge for you to do it for yourself? We hold ourselves to this crazy, un— inhuman standard sometimes. Amberly Lago [00:48:51]: Like, what— why would I expect certain things of myself when there is no way if my daughter was throwing up, would I say Well, get up and go again. Keep going, keep going. You better, you know, try to put some makeup on even though you’re throwing up, you know. Renee Marino [00:49:07]: Yes, yes, what the heck? Yes. And this is why conversations like this are so important, because when we don’t have these conversations, we think we’re alone in it, right? So I’m sure for those listening, we’re gonna— you’re gonna hear so many women who do, and men who are like, yeah, that’s me too, that’s me too. And that brings us together and lets us know, okay, we got this. We’re gonna, we’re gonna help each other to rise out of this and to, and to be mirrors for each other. Yeah. To say, okay, Amberly, you’re not being kind to yourself. You, mm-hmm. Right? Amberly, you, you’re a badass. Renee Marino [00:49:44]: Like, do you realize what you’ve gotten through and gone through and grown through? Like, okay, you don’t feel 100% today. Amberly Lago [00:49:50]: Well, you’re human. Renee Marino [00:49:52]: Yeah. Right? Yeah. It’s, yeah. —It’s, it’s so interesting. Amberly Lago [00:49:57]: Yeah. Well, I, I remember before I ever met Tony Robbins, I, I remember going, wow, what is the big deal with this Tony Robbins guy? Like, what? I remember thinking that. Yeah. Until you see him in person. Oh, it was wild. So I had a friend, the first time I saw him in person, I had a friend say, hey, there’s tickets for this Tony Robbins event. They’re only like $100. And I’m like, I’m like, oh, okay. Amberly Lago [00:50:24]: And we go and it was for some reason a smaller event. Wow. Yeah, it was, it was very, it was very intimate. And I didn’t ever even see anything for it online or anything like that. I don’t know how this person found out about this ticket. So anyway, there was the platinum up front and we sat in like the gold or whatever that was like just one red rope away. Yeah, for some reason, and I’ll have to show you a picture, Tony stood in front of me the entire time. I’m like, the platinum was up there. Amberly Lago [00:51:02]: Yeah, but he went on the aisle and was in front of me the entire time, so much so that he was spitting. Renee Marino [00:51:09]: And I’m like, you’re like, I’m getting, I’m getting spit on by Tony Robbins, you know. Amberly Lago [00:51:14]: I was just like this the whole time, you know. Yes. And his energy for 3 hours. Oh, 3 hours. It was like with the music and Renee Marino [00:51:26]: his, you know, his, his— yep. Amberly Lago [00:51:28]: Those big hands. His— yes. Giant hands. And it was unbelievable, the energy and what I learned in 3 hours. How did you first connect with Tony Robbins and start to work with him? Renee Marino [00:51:44]: Yeah. Yeah, he is just as incredible as you hope he is. Mm-hmm. Back in 2020, I took a course. So when I decided— the last Broadway show I did was Pretty Woman: The Musical, and I started writing my book at that time. Yeah, my favorite movie. Uh, me too. So I started writing my book while I was— I’d get off stage and the crew guys would let me use their room and I’d write. Renee Marino [00:52:08]: So when the show ended, I, I, I had this, again, guttural instinct and I said, I’m ready to activate my other gifts. I want to get my book published, maybe be a speaker, a coach. I didn’t even know what that meant, a coach. So Tony— I see Tony, and I always followed Tony. I, I mean, I can remember driving around LA listening to his CD and doing my incantations, and I would sing them like, every day in every way I’m getting stronger, you know, because he— good voice. So, but like, that’s for me, that’s what worked. So while I’m running at the gym, I would do these incantations So one day I see him on like Facebook, an ad, him, Dean, and I think Jenna Kutcher was in it at the time. Yeah, they did a lot. Renee Marino [00:52:50]: Yes, ABB, uh, the— not— yeah, yeah, I decided to take that course. We were taking that at the same time. Yes, of course we were. Yeah, of course we were. Yeah, so I take this course. As soon as I started, a month later the world shuts down. It’s COVID now, so I couldn’t kept performing even if I wanted to. Okay, so finish a course. Renee Marino [00:53:12]: And at the time, Dean and Tony started doing these free challenges. Yeah, yeah. So first was Dean. He did the Start Over Challenge. 100,000 people in this Facebook group. The homework every day was to go live on Facebook and talk about whatever the material was for that day. After the first day, Amberly, I’ll never forget, I was like a hot mess. Just got out of the gym. Renee Marino [00:53:33]: I’m like like with the camera. I’m like, hey guys, Renee Marino here, like, and I talked about whatever the subject was. And after that first day, I get a flood of messages from people in the group being like, oh my God, can you show me how to do that? And I remember sitting there being like, what are they talking about? What am I doing? Like, I’m a hot mess, like sweating. And days after, I get more messages, and then it, it dawned on me, oh, they want to know how to get on camera and be themselves with confidence, you know. It’s first time a lot of people are virtual. So at the end of that week, Dean’s team reaches out to me and says, Dean wants to interview you live in front of the group. And I’m like, that’s amazing. So he interviews me, and then at the end of the— and I tell my story about the film and speaking up, and he’s like, listen, I’d love for you to be on my podcast. Renee Marino [00:54:20]: What? I’m like, amazing, you know, he’s top 1% podcast. So that happens. So now I’m getting all these, you know, people reaching out to me. A few weeks later, Tony has a challenge, 300,000 people called the Comeback Challenge. Same thing, every day we’d go live. And it’s funny because I shared that. I’m like, so I sing Tony’s incantations every day and every way. So as the week went on, like everybody would start singing these incantations when they got on their videos. Renee Marino [00:54:48]: Like it was so fun. But again, people would reach out, how do you do that? Can you show me how to do that? And that was the first thing I created, a workshop course called Connecting on Camera, showing business owners, entrepreneurs how to get on video and be themselves. Yeah. At the end of that cha— uh, week, his national speaker is like, and one person delivered value to the group. Renee Marino, you just won 5 days to Tony Robbins’ private resort in Fiji. And I’m like, what? Oh my gosh. So I win my trip. Gosh. Renee Marino [00:55:18]: Okay, so now really think about this. This is all just virtual, you guys. All right? So think about the power that we have when we get on video. So that was like in July, in the summer. 6 months later, Dean’s team reaches out and says Dean would like to know if you’d like to co-host their World Summit. Amberly Lago [00:55:34]: Oh my gosh, were you— I just got goosebumps. Yes. Renee Marino [00:55:37]: Were you flipping out? Flipping out. Like, like Amberly, I was like, what? Like, and, and again, like, I’ve been watching Dean and Tony from afar. So I go to West Palm, I co-host this event. Who was there? I met Trent Shelton, Jenna Kutcher, um, Russell Brunson and I connected. And then Tony— I met Tony for like a second. He comes out to the stage and I just go, can I hug you? And he kisses the top of my head because he’s 6’7″ and I’m 5’1″. So that was the only time we like met in person. But obviously Dean and I met— we— I host this event, that’s 2020. Renee Marino [00:56:10]: Fast forward 4 years, 2024, Dean’s team reaches out to me again and says, Dean is— they’re launching a course, The Game Has Changed, and they want to use a couple people as testimonials. We’d love to— Dean would love for you to be one of the 3 people. Cool. So then he interviewed me live for his challenge— for his, uh, launch. That’s how we reconnected. And then I just said, Dean, listen, you know, I love working with you guys. If you need more female voices, speakers, you know, let me know. And then last November around this time, he said, you know, I may have an opportunity for you. Renee Marino [00:56:48]: Uh, Tony’s hosting his huge virtual event at the start of the year would you be interested in, in hosting it? And that’s how it happened. So last January I hosted the first event, and it was so incredible, um, because we, we did it from Tony’s basement. We had 1.2 million people tune in, and I’m sitting there, it’s like me and Tony, and Tony’s right here, and I’m like, I’m lit— it felt— this is what I felt. I felt the same way when I sat next to Clint. I floated up out of my body and I was I was like, what is my life? How blessed am I that I get to be this close to someone that I consider a mentor? And he, I mean, trained me, taught me, because, you know, I would, I would get out there and I, I also, besides hosting, you know, I did the, the sales offer and just getting his coaching right there, like working with him. I was like, this is amazing. Yeah. Um, and this is the best part, and I have to say this. Renee Marino [00:57:49]: I sat there, I’ll never forget. I just posted this too, I did a video on it. I’ll never forget the one day sitting there, Tony was on stage and he was talking about a, a woman who had gone through a lot of tragedy, and they showed a video of her, and now she came out of it and she’s doing amazing. But this is a video Tony probably has seen 5 million times. Mhm. It was like 15 minutes. So if he were anybody else, he would probably normally take a break, grab a water, take a bite of a sandwich. I watched him because I love to observe. Renee Marino [00:58:21]: I know, I love to observe. And I’m watching him— I could cry thinking of it— and he didn’t move from his stool. And he’s sitting there, it’s not even a comfortable chair, and he’s watching the video as if he’s seen it for the first time. And I just see tears coming out of his eyes, and he didn’t move the whole time. And I’m watching him like, oh my God, he cares so much. And that was everything for me, because as you know, I value nothing more in life than people who are in integrity with who they say they are. They’re authentic. He walks his walk. Renee Marino [00:58:54]: And for me, it was— I was like, thank you, God, because I’ve loved Tony for so many years. And to see him so up close— that man cares so much. He got no sleep. He was doing like all these other events, and I was literally like, Tony, Holy, how are you doing this right now? And after each day, he sits with the team— what worked, what didn’t work. He’s just a beautiful soul and has such a heart to serve. So that’s how it all came about. Wow. But it all started from video. Renee Marino [00:59:22]: So I just— I think that’s so important to highlight because sometimes we don’t understand the power of video. We think, oh, I don’t want to get on video, but it can be your greatest tool to connect. Amberly Lago [00:59:34]: It really can. Renee Marino [00:59:35]: Yeah. Amberly Lago [00:59:35]: And you just showing up, doing the challenge, but being all in. Yes. Yeah. And you know, I could tell Tony really cared that one event that I went to because there were like 4 other speakers that day and all they did was get on the stage and sell. Like that’s all they did. It was a hard pitch from every single one of them. And he got on and he actually said, wow, I bet you’re sick of being pitched to, you know, like he, he didn’t try to pretend like none of it happened. He was real. Amberly Lago [01:00:10]: And then he made up for it all by— he was supposed to go on for like 30 minutes, 3 hours. He whored into us, poured into us. I mean, it was, it was incredible. But yeah, you shared a lot just by— that was your opportunity by showing up. Renee Marino [01:00:28]: Show up. Yeah. Yes, in any— this is always how I feel, like, I believe the purpose of my life is to activate joy and confidence in myself and others by using my God-given gifts. That’s what I believe. When it’s my time, I want to go to the pearly gates and be like, I didn’t leave one stone left unturned. I did everything. I used every gift God— because I believe God gave us our gifts to use, right? Otherwise, why would we have them? And just showing up in every moment of your life, right? Not just when you think it matters, when someone’s watching, but in every moment. Bringing it back to your story, you just held the elevator door open because that’s who you are. Renee Marino [01:01:07]: You care. You have— you’re just a good person. Show up. Like, we underestimate the power of showing up. We don’t need all these external things to fulfill us, to make us better. Just be grounded in who we are and show up in every moment. Amberly Lago [01:01:24]: Mic drop on that. That is incredible. I could talk to you all day. I mean, I have 3 pages of questions that I’m glad that— I mean, I didn’t bring my glasses, so I wouldn’t have been able to read them any, any way. But you have a Becoming a Master Communicator workbook. It’s 30-something pages. I downloaded it. How can people download this for free? Because you offer so many free gifts. Renee Marino [01:01:48]: Gifts. Amberly Lago [01:01:48]: And then I want to ask you how people can find your book. So how can people get your free downloads? Renee Marino [01:01:53]: Just go to freegiftfromrenee.com. Easy breezy, and you’ll see everything there. Awesome. Amberly Lago [01:02:01]: Yep. And then your book. Yes, Becoming a Master Communicator. And I mean, I could seriously just talk to you more about like balancing— I know— new school technology with old school simplicity. Renee Marino [01:02:13]: And I just want to like canoodle with her. I’m like, can we just— I know, Amberly Lago [01:02:17]: we’ll do another one and I’ll come with my rope. Renee Marino [01:02:20]: Yes. Amberly Lago [01:02:20]: Or next time you’re in town, you can just stay with me. That’s what I’m going to do. Renee Marino [01:02:23]: Get up and we’ll have our coffee. Yes, we’ll do coffee talk. Coffee talk. That’s what we say in Jersey, coffee talk. Yeah, yeah. We’ll like— we’ll just have the camera on as we drink our coffee. Amberly Lago [01:02:34]: Yeah, yeah. Renee Marino [01:02:34]: Because we could go on— we can Amberly Lago [01:02:36]: do this for hours. Okay, when are you coming to Dallas? Renee Marino [01:02:38]: I know I need to come back, so let’s plan it. We’re going to plan this off camera. Amberly Lago [01:02:43]: Yeah, yeah. Cuz I’m like, when can you come back? Renee Marino [01:02:44]: When can you spin it on? No, no, really, we need, we need like girl time. Amberly Lago [01:02:50]: Yeah, yeah. Because what you have built— and seriously, within— if you think about it, since 2020, what you have built. Yeah. Some people said, well, I’m just going to wait until things get normal. You said, no, I’m taking action, and you went all in. And because you took action, it not only was noticed, it was appreciated by people who could genuinely feel feel your heart and see the light. You can feel your energy, and I’m sure y’all can tell, like, the light that she is in the world. And so now look at you. Amberly Lago [01:03:25]: You’ve got— you’re speaking on stages globally. You’ve done your TEDx. You’ve got a coaching program, and you are just paving the way for others because you’re not keeping it all to yourself. No, you’re showing others how they can communicate better, how they can show up on screen, how they can be visible and share their message. And so such a beautiful thing. How can people find your book? Renee Marino [01:03:49]: Yeah, you can find it on amazon.com, or I would say check out my website, reneemarino.com. You can actually get the book from there, and then you can just check out— we have fun things on the website you can, you can watch. Um, but yeah, go to the website, reneemarino.com, and then come find me on Instagram and let me know if you’ve listened to this interview. I love connecting.. If you send me a DM, I’d love to, to meet you through DM. And I just— Amberly, I can’t thank you enough. Amberly Lago [01:04:17]: I mean it. Renee Marino [01:04:17]: This is, this is— you are such a special soul, and I’ve been waiting for this moment, and it was just, it was better than you could have Amberly Lago [01:04:24]: thought of, dreamed of. Oh, really? Renee Marino [01:04:26]: It’s been amazing. Thank you. Amberly Lago [01:04:28]: No, thank you. I’ve heard— so Cole’s here videoing this for us. Renee Marino [01:04:32]: Thank you, Cole. Thank you, Cole. Amberly Lago [01:04:33]: Uh, God bless. And I was like, no, I I mean, she’s a badass. I was like, like, major celebrity. And I’m— we’re going to her hotel room and she’s so, like, down to earth and with a heart of gold. Right, Cole? Amberly Lago [01:04:51]: Isn’t that one? Renee Marino [01:04:53]: No. Yeah, 100%. And Cole’s amazing, by the way. I wish Cole could come join us. He’s like, so down to earth and has a baby on the way. Yes. Amberly Lago [01:05:01]: Yeah. Amberly Lago [01:05:01]: I think one of the cool things from Behind the Carrier that we’re talking about that’s like so authentic is right in the middle of it, like, the lights started, like, geeking out and overheating, and then you kind of just, like, had the faith and willed it through. Yeah, about 30 minutes out of it. Well, you’re talking about how God has a sense of humor, finding the— how it, like, helps you let go of Amberly Lago [01:05:18]: control because God’s in control, and we’re Amberly Lago [01:05:20]: like, God, and then you just, like, keep having the conversation, and it’s like someone— like, the imperfection isn’t the beauty, and how it feels more authentic, and you always kept going through. So it’s like, it’s— everything you’re saying is, like, 100% spot on authentic, and, Renee Marino [01:05:31]: like, God was even on almost. You’re right. I just— oh my gosh, that’s, that’s a great observation. We’re talking about imperfection. Amberly Lago [01:05:39]: God, you’re the best. Renee Marino [01:05:42]: Yeah. Amberly Lago [01:05:42]: Okay, let’s, let’s see if you’re going Renee Marino [01:05:43]: to practice what you preach. Life out. Life out. Exactly. And, and I think that that’s such a beautiful way to, I guess, wrap this all up, is thank you for those beautiful compliments, but I just want you to know, and, and those of you listening, I do it imperfectly. I’ve done it imperfectly. Like when I say I started a business and the first time I heard you need to create a funnel, this is how much I did not know about business. I go like, what do you mean a funnel? Like a beer funnel? What’s a funnel? Like I, yeah, I didn’t know what that word is. Renee Marino [01:06:13]: I didn’t know. But so, but I, I just keep doing it imperfectly even when I’m afraid, even when I’m scared, even when I’m doubtful. And when you do that, this is, this is the beautiful part. Many think confidence comes first, action comes second, but the truth is is imperfect action comes first, and from that confidence is developed. Amberly Lago [01:06:34]: And that’s, that’s the trick of it. Yeah, it, it— that is so true. So true. Yeah. So thank you so much, y’all. Yeah, take a screenshot of this and tag us. I love when I hear from you. And go follow her. Amberly Lago [01:06:50]: Go to your website to get your book. I love if you go to her website and you can grab her book, then you get all these fun downloads for sure and can really study. Renee Marino [01:07:00]: So study all— oh, thank you so much. Amberly Lago [01:07:02]: I love— thank you, thank you, thank you. And thank you for tuning into the show. It’s because of you, you have made this show a top 1% podcast. So thanks for being here, and we’ll see you next week. Thank you. Renee Marino [01:07:16]: You’re amazing.