Amberly Lago [00:00:03]: Hey, and thank you for tuning in to the Amberly Lago Show. I am super excited today to have one of my good friends and sober sisters on the show with us. And, you know, I think we’ve all experienced some sort of trauma in our life, big or small, and. And unhealed trauma often leads us to addiction, mental health disorders or unstability or instability, I think is the right word to say it. But today’s guest, I have Marcy Hopkins with us. She has a brand new book. It’s a beautiful book. Amberly Lago [00:00:49]: I have it in my hand. If you’re not watching this on YouTube and you’re listening, it’s chaos to clarity, seeing the signs and breaking the cycles. And so you know what? I’m so grateful to have you here. Marcy is. She’s an award winning TV personality. I had the honor of being on her show. Wake up with Marcy, y’. Amberly Lago [00:01:11]: All. Amberly Lago [00:01:11]: She is. She’s been featured on Fox, cbs, NBC, abc. I mean, the list of accolades goes on and on. But I’m really excited to have you here and I’m so grateful you wrote this book especially for so many out there struggling with. With cycles of addiction, whether it’s alcohol or drugs or shopping or gambling or speed dating. So, Marcie, thank you for being here. Welcome to the show. Marci Hopkins [00:01:39]: Thank you, Amberly. It’s such an honor. And just this path and you coming into my life is just. I’m so grateful. So thank you for having me on. Amberly Lago [00:01:50]: Thank you. Well, you know, when I first connected with you, I didn’t realize just how much we had in common. But when I got to meet you, it was just. Amberly Lago [00:02:00]: Just. Amberly Lago [00:02:00]: It felt like home. It felt. I think safety is so important to me, especially because I too, has ex. Have experienced abuse. And when I heard some of your story and then when I read your book, I was like, wow, no wonder it felt safe to talk to you because you’ve been through it. So I really want to talk about your book and why this book and why now. Marci Hopkins [00:02:28]: Well, honestly, I was very guided to write that book. I put down the drink almost 10 years ago and I started my healing journey, the transformation. I couldn’t even believe how life was unfolding for me because I didn’t think that I was worthy, that I could have a calm, beautiful, peaceful life filled with joy. And. And it was happening for me. And so I started becoming very spiritually connected, started receiving a lot of guidance from My higher power, that. That I needed to get my story out there, that I needed to help others through my story of trauma, addiction, recovery, and then how I shifted my mindset. What we get, we. Amberly Lago [00:03:27]: We can put down the drink, we can stop, maybe make the decision to stop overeating or whatever it is that we’re pushing down the pain with. But it’s that healing and transformation and shifting our mindset and rewiring our brains, like, that’s where the real change happens. And I just wanted to help as many people as I could, so that’s why I wrote the book. Marci Hopkins [00:03:49]: Well, what was the turning point when the chaos. What was the moment in your life where it was like, enough of this chaos? I know that I’m meant for more. There has to be a better way. Was there a shifting moment that led you to break this cycle and get sober? Amberly Lago [00:04:10]: It wasn’t that I hadn’t been thinking that my drinking was out of control. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to change my drinking. It wasn’t even that I had. I hadn’t tried because I had tried to stop drinking. But I convinced myself that I didn’t have a problem. But about a year later, after I quit drinking for the first time and I started back, my. My whole life unraveled. And the final day for me, I had gone on a modeling gig. Amberly Lago [00:04:41]: I used alcohol as my liquid courage, as I always did, and ended up going out with a girlfriend. And I got a dui. I got a dui. And that day, my husband ended up picking me up. And. And believe me, I. I was very fortunate. It was in a small town in New Jersey, so it wasn’t like I was treated poorly. Amberly Lago [00:05:05]: I. I mean, the experience. God was. God was easy on me because. And I. And believe me, I thank God for that, because there was so much shame and guilt from getting that dui. But my husband ended up picking me up. And that day that I got home and I was a victim. Amberly Lago [00:05:26]: I’d always been a victim. And I woke up the next morning, and I just knew that I couldn’t do it anymore. And God stepped in, and I surrendered. I was ready to surrender fully and do whatever I needed to do to get sober and changed my life because I was about to lose everything that I worked so hard to build. Marci Hopkins [00:05:48]: Yeah, well, you know, everybody’s rock bottom is different. And I hear stories. A lot of people who are very close to me that don’t just get one dui. They get DUI after dui, after dui, they’re in and out of jail, they’re in and out of rehabs. What would you say to the person thinks, oh, I think I might have a problem. Is there a sure sign way? Maybe they haven’t. Maybe they are like, well, my rock bottom isn’t as bad as most people. Like I’m pretty, I’m functioning. Marci Hopkins [00:06:28]: I think I’m okay. My friend Sally drinks a lot more than me. I must not be an alcoholic. Is there a sure way of, or a question that you could ask yourself or a way that you might know that maybe you’ve got a problem? Amberly Lago [00:06:46]: Well, first of all, I was there. I will tell you I was there surrounding myself with people that drank more than me or comparing my story to others. And that’s why I left the rooms the first time I went. When I went to the 12 step program, I started comparing my story and I was like, well, I’m not drinking in the morning. I mean my, my life is still moving forward. I’m still functioning in the community. I’m taking care of my kids like I must. And, and even like people around me and family were like, I didn’t think you had a drinking problem. Amberly Lago [00:07:22]: So I had convinced myself that I did not. But I’d say, ask yourself, how are you feeling about yourself when you do take those drinks? Right? Do you feel good in the moment, but then what’s the after effect? How do you feel the next day? Are you really showing up for your family or in work? Are you feeling constantly over overwhelmed? Right, because our nervous system is on an on overdrive and we think that wine or that drink is going to calm us when in fact it just creates more of a for us and can’t sleep well and our patience is run, running thin. And are people saying things? Are people showing that, that you know, maybe you should get healthy saying certain things or relationships are falling apart. I mean, you can take notice of how you’re feeling when you’re drinking and if you’re having guilt, questioning your worth in life, first and foremost, that should matter most. But then how is your drinking affecting other relationships in your life? And take a look at that and get real about it. Marci Hopkins [00:08:41]: That’s all great. And honestly I think that. And some people might not like what I’m going to say. But you know what? I think that maybe if you have to ask yourself, huh, do I have a problem with drinking? Then you probably have a problem with drinking because most people who don’t, don’t. That thought doesn’t even come up. You know, you’re never thinking about it. Amberly Lago [00:09:05]: Yeah. Problem. Marci Hopkins [00:09:07]: They can. They can take it or leave it, you know, And. And look, I’ve been sober. I got sober back in 2016. And I have such an alcoholic way of thinking. I mean, I can be out and go, how could they leave half a glass of wine? Like, I was just. Yeah, I was like, oh, my gosh, are they. I remember I was just recently flown out for an event, and this is crazy. Marci Hopkins [00:09:36]: I’m admitting this, but I. They upgraded me to first class, and I’m sitting in first class, and there’s a lady across from me, and she’s drinking wine, and I’m like, well, our plane’s leaving. There’s. Or our plane’s landing. We’re about to land. And is she going to just down that glass of the rest of that wine? Amberly Lago [00:09:56]: But. Marci Hopkins [00:09:57]: Because that’s what I would have done. Amberly Lago [00:09:59]: Yeah. Marci Hopkins [00:09:59]: No, she didn’t. And I thought, oh, Normie, that’s. That’s what us. Over Overcoming alcohol. You know, alcohol. Recovering alcoholics call people who don’t have a drinking problem, they’re called Normie. But, yeah, I would say if you have to ask yourself, huh, maybe. Or if you think, well, you promise yourself you’re not going to drink, and then the next day comes around, and you just, oh, just one more time. Marci Hopkins [00:10:27]: And then the next day comes around, and it’s just one more day. But there are so many. You know, I realized. And actually, I just realized this, and I’m curious to know if you had any other kind of addiction before your addiction to alcohol. Because when I look back, and I kind of realized this when I just got back from leading a retreat in Kauai for 40 women and realized, you know, I was addicted to running before, that was my fix. That was. And some people might be addicted to shopping on Amazon. It’s that dopamine hit. Marci Hopkins [00:11:05]: It’s what our brain, our bodies are creating to feel better. Were you addicted to anything before alcohol? Amberly Lago [00:11:14]: Well, I’d say that I was addicted to relationships. Always needing to have someone in my life. I didn’t know how to validate myself. I didn’t know who I was. So I always needed to have someone else in my life and whether it was good or bad. And I’d say most times it was bad because I didn’t know really what a good relationship looked like. But it definitely, definitely having someone in my life. Relationships. Marci Hopkins [00:11:45]: Yeah. Yeah. I think when I said speed dating earlier, I’m like, yep, you know, not that I was a speed dater. I was More focused on, I think I was addicted to work, I was addicted to running. And sometimes those signs may be very apparent to other people, but not necessarily ourself. What are some ways to recognize some of the signs that you speak of that might not be that you’re doing something productive, but it can be an addiction. What are some of those signs? Amberly Lago [00:12:19]: Well, first of all, you can’t live without it. Again, is it, let’s say it’s exercise, right. Maybe, maybe you are always wanting to be in a triathlon and you’re having to train excessively. Right. And you start to affect your family, you start to affect the relationships in your life. Again, if anything that you are doing in excess is affecting your life in a negative way, you can look at it that, you can look at that as an addiction. Marci Hopkins [00:12:51]: Yeah. Amberly Lago [00:12:51]: Because you can’t live without it and it doesn’t matter the outcome. Marci Hopkins [00:12:55]: Yes. And it controls you. It controls your life. And I mean, there are times where I wake up and I still go to my, you know, 12 step recovery meetings. And there are days when I think, oh, I don’t feel. I just. It feels so good to be in my comfy robe. And I don’t feel like leaving at 6:30am to go to this meeting. Marci Hopkins [00:13:20]: And I think, you know what, there was a time when I, through hell or high water, I would have been finding that drink or whatever that fix was. And so I better be just as, you know, adamant about getting to my meeting so I get to stay sober now. Now when you’re breaking these cycles, especially generational ones, they can feel overwhelming. It can. What’s the first step to disrupt these patterns? Amberly Lago [00:13:54]: Well, first of all, you need to just start recognizing that you need to create change in your life. All right? Because we are so programmed through the generational patterns to think a certain way, to act a certain way. And when we really recognize that it’s not working with us, then that’s the disruption. First of all, right, you take notice that this is not working for my life. And it may be the way that my dysfunctional family works, but I don’t need to have my family, the family that I am creating, run the same way. And so the first thing you have to do is create the change for yourself. Change who you are and your behaviors, your mindset, the way that you think about things, the way that you respond to the thing, these things, because you only really, truly have control to change yourself. But once you start to change yourself in these ways, then the ripple effect begins to happen and you start to create those small, positive changes within your own family or those that surround you because you don’t have to show up how you were programmed prior. Amberly Lago [00:15:22]: Once you make that decision, you can start making those changes for yourself. And what are those changes? Right? Surrendering, moving to a place of gratitude, forgiveness, evolution, learning to communicate, set those boundaries, becoming resilient. There are many, many ways that you can create this change in your life and then just say, no, I’m not doing that anymore. Marci Hopkins [00:15:50]: Did you have a lot of shame when you first got sober? For me, I didn’t want to anyone to know that I was an alcoholic. And not only did I have a lot of shame, but I could tell my husband did as well. I mean, he was still working. He was, you know, a lieutenant commander with the California Highway Patrol, and he arrested drunks like me. Now, fortunately, I never got a dui, and in fact, I never went to bars. I never went and drank out in public much. I was a closet drinker, you know, but I had a lot of shame. And I did not talk about. Marci Hopkins [00:16:30]: Actually, I didn’t start talking about my sobriety until I had a sober sister of mine who actually broke my amenity, amenity on social media. And I was like, she had a big social media platform all around sobriety. And she posted a picture of us that me and my sober sister. And I remember just going, oh, oh, my gosh. Now everybody knows, like, but it actually. And this was a year after I was sober, and I still was not. Didn’t feel ready. I’d never said it on social media. Marci Hopkins [00:17:07]: I mean, there were people in my family that didn’t even know. But it was really good for me to go, well, I guess the cat’s out of the bag and to just own it. And so I think that, you know, owning your story, nobody can use it against you. You know what I mean? Amberly Lago [00:17:22]: So, yeah. Marci Hopkins [00:17:24]: How long had you been sober until you started talking about it on social media? Amberly Lago [00:17:33]: Well, first of all, I want to say absolutely, we all have shame and guilt around addiction. I mean, we have been programmed again. Our belief system is that you don’t talk about it. You stay quiet about it. You keep it in the family. It shakes. Shameful. It’s not a disease. Amberly Lago [00:17:52]: First of all, it is a disease. It is a mental health disease. And, you know, one of the biggest things that I work to do today is bash the stigma around substance use disorder, because it’s real and it’s a disease, just like diabetes or just like cancer. The reason we have so much shame and Guilt is because we have been programmed to believe that it’s bad, that it’s a moral choice if we continue to drink or not. And it is not. Our bodies truly become addicted to it. Our. Our bodies chemically change. Amberly Lago [00:18:28]: And so the thing is, is that when we begin to recognize that our lives are deteriorating and we decide to get sober and then we decide to share our story, we really begin the healing cycle, because we stay sick in our silence. And, I mean, you’ve got to start sharing. Doesn’t have to be on social media. It doesn’t have to be on a podcast. Doesn’t have to be with the world, but be with people that you feel safe with, whether it’s church or maybe it’s the sober community that you put together. I mean, thankfully, there’s so much more out there than just the 12 step program and rehab. Now, rehab is very important, especially if you drink excessively, because it can be very dangerous just to stop drinking. Right. Amberly Lago [00:19:30]: Because the thing is that there’s so many ways that we can get sober and in different ways, work for other people. And we also have medical ways today that can help us. And it’s amazing. And it’s okay. You don’t have to feel shame or guilt around that either. It helps with the cravings. It helps, you know, just quiet the craziness in our head that makes us think that we can drink when we can’t. Right. Amberly Lago [00:20:02]: And help us to put it down. So for me, it was about a year in. I started a talk show called Coffee with Marcy. And I kind of honed all of the work and experience that I’d had in television and on camera. And I wanted to do something. I’d been in the 12 step program, and we are to be of service, and I wanted to do something bigger. And so I started this show, Coffee with Marcy. And that was about a year after I got sober, so probably about a year and a half after I launched Wake Up With Marcy. Amberly Lago [00:20:36]: And that’s when I really started, you know, sharing open openly. But I’m not gonna lie, I still sometimes get uncomfortable with it because it’s just so ingrained in us. It’s so ingrained in us. But the reality is there’s so much help out there. And the more that we talk about it just like this, the more we normalize it and. And hopefully help others out there to not stay stuck in that shame and guilt so they can start moving forward to get the need. Marci Hopkins [00:21:06]: Yes, for sure. And I want to go back to something that you said about, you know, that there are so many ways to get help out there. And you said something about, you know, if you’re drinking excessively, that it can be dangerous to just stop drinking cold turkey. What are some of the dangers that could happen if somebody is drinking obsessively, excessively and just stops cold turkey? Do you know some of the dangers? Amberly Lago [00:21:32]: Well, I do know that your organs can start to shut down. There’s. There’s chemicals in our brains that shift when we start drinking and it starts creating. Well, first of all, it starts. I believe it’s the gamma. I don’t know exactly the chemicals, but there’s different chemicals that adjust in our brains and it starts creating more of this one particular chemical and less of the other. So if we just stop completely and our bodies are so dependent on it, like our bodies think that we need it, just like we need water and we need food. And that’s why it remained accessible during COVID because people would have been dying all around us and flooding the emergency rooms because our bodies literally begin to shut down. Marci Hopkins [00:22:27]: That drove me crazy, by the way. In la, everything was shut down except for the marijuana dispensaries and liquor stores on the corner. They shut the churches down, they shut the hiking trails down, a meetings you couldn’t meet for. And luckily we had Zoom. And exactly to your point, when your body is used to alcohol is. It’s a chemical in your body. And for instance, I remember after my motorcycle accident I was. And I to this day still take Lyrica. Marci Hopkins [00:23:00]: Unfortunately, I have to take a medication for complex regional pain syndrome. But after I was so I was on 11 prescription medications and I was like, I am sick of this, I’m not going to take anything. And I just stopped taking Lyrica cold turkey. Well, Lyrica or gabapentin is in the anti seizure family. And so once you’re taking this, the chemicals that your body produces to so you don’t have a seizure, your body stops making this chemical because it goes, oh, don’t need to make this. I already. You’re already giving it to me? Amberly Lago [00:23:38]: Yeah. Marci Hopkins [00:23:38]: I will never forget going in and telling my doctor, hey, just wanted to let you know I stopped taking everything cold turkey. And he was like, what? You can’t do that. Like you could have had a seizure while driving. And that scared the crap out of me. So yes, please get medical help, reach out. Don’t do it alone. I think for me, what really saved me was reaching out for help. And then I googled 12 step recovery meetings and found A meeting that I could go to when my husband was at work and my kids were at school. Marci Hopkins [00:24:17]: And so whatever it takes, but reach out for help. You do not have to do it alone. So I want to move on to this. Like, you’re not just surviving. I don’t believe in calling myself a CRPS survivor. No. I want to thrive. So how did you transition or how does someone go from just surviving to actually thriving in life? Amberly Lago [00:24:45]: Yeah, I mean, surviving is just living. Right. We want. We don’t want to just live in my. A survivor of abuse. Am I a survivor of addiction? Yeah. But thriving today is about creating the change in your life. And I’ll go back to those things that really started helping me create the shifts for myself, and that was becoming more spiritually fit, more spiritually connected. Amberly Lago [00:25:16]: That was finding gratitude in my life and understanding. Marci Hopkins [00:25:20]: I want to go back to that really quick. How. How does somebody get spiritually fit? Yeah, spiritually connected. Because there might be people going, what does that even mean? Amberly Lago [00:25:31]: Yeah, I understand. And I understand. And it’s not just religion. Like, listen, I was raised Lutheran. I’m Catholic now. I still go to church. But spiritual. Spiritually is more of an energetic connection and understanding the connection between us all in a higher source of love. Amberly Lago [00:25:56]: Right. And so just being connected and opening up my heart and allowing my. My. Myself first to love myself, love my higher power. What. What guides me. Right. And so how do I connect? Every day? I connect in nature. Amberly Lago [00:26:17]: I connect by going on YouTube. And there are meditations I do. Literally. There’s one that I did every day for five years straight, and it’s called connecting to God. And it’s five. It’s ten minutes every morning. And it has. It’s no affiliation with a religion. Amberly Lago [00:26:42]: It’s just about the energetic connection that you have. And so for me, again, it’s not about, you know, thinking about this big guy in the sky, God, and all the rules that go with a religion. It’s more about the energetic connection and finding the guidance in something bigger than yourself. Marci Hopkins [00:27:04]: That’s wonderful, because I think a lot of times people get turned off when they hear God and. And, you know, and I grew up in the Bible belt of. Of Texas, you know, growing up Methodist. And my daughters both went to private Catholic. One was a Lutheran school, one was a Catholic school. But I found I felt most connected always to God, more in nature. I mean, I love going to church, especially a good gospel church. Amberly Lago [00:27:38]: I love the music. Marci Hopkins [00:27:39]: It’s amazing. Amberly Lago [00:27:40]: But I feel so touches you, right? Marci Hopkins [00:27:43]: Yes. Amberly Lago [00:27:43]: Right. That’s energy, which is touching you in a beautiful, connecting way. Yes. Right. Marci Hopkins [00:27:51]: And then you mentioned gratitude. That’s something. Amberly Lago [00:27:53]: Gratitude is the next one. Gratitude’s the next one. Marci Hopkins [00:27:57]: Give us some tips on how someone can start to incorporate gratitude in their life and the effects of that, how that will change their life. Amberly Lago [00:28:05]: Okay, so first of all, I know life can suck. And I know you can sit there and go, I don’t have anything good in my life. But the thing about gratitude is not being, you know, grateful. Like when you finally get the big house you want or the big job you want or the big car you want. Gratitude is about taking notice of the. The things in your life, the small things in your life that actually we’re taking for granted. A roof over your head. No matter what, do you want to be the one out on the street? Gotta be grateful for that. Amberly Lago [00:28:39]: Grateful for having food, grateful for having our clothes, our extremities, our senses. So waking up each day and before your feet even hit the ground, thinking of three things that you can be grateful for having. Sheets, a warm bed. Right. A cup of coffee. You’re about to have a new day, new opportunities. And then I also had a gratitude jar. And this was something that I Learned in the 12 STEP program is having a gratitude jar, writing these things down. Amberly Lago [00:29:14]: And so that allowed me to go back and read the things when I’m having a crappy day, go back and read those things that I’m grateful for. And as you do this, it becomes easier and easier each day. And then you wake up with a sense of gratitude instead of having to look for the things you’re grateful for. And then again, I’ll go back to that energy. Right? So we are a magnet. We attract what we put out. So if we are putting out what we are grateful for, the feeling of gratitude opening up our heart, we are attracting more things that we can be grateful for. Maybe then you’ll be getting those bigger things that you want. Marci Hopkins [00:30:02]: It’s so true. Amberly Lago [00:30:03]: And then. Yeah, yeah. And then forgiveness is another big one. Marci Hopkins [00:30:09]: Okay, let me ask you. There’s some people that are probably going, well, forgiveness. How do I forgive the person who sexually abused me? How do I forgive the guy who stole money from me? How do I forgive the person who wronged me, lied about me or whatever it may be. Amberly Lago [00:30:28]: Yeah. Marci Hopkins [00:30:28]: What’s the first step to start to forgive? Amberly Lago [00:30:31]: Well, for me, the biggest thing I had to do first was forgive myself. The shame and the guilt and the judgment and the hate that I had for myself, for the. For the decisions, the poor decisions that I had made in my life, right? And recognizing that I had to stop living in my past because I can’t change the decisions that I made in my past. I can only change really, truly currently, what I’m doing, where my feet are today. And then that will create the change in my future. So slowly I had to let go of that hate of myself and realize also then that it wasn’t just myself that created this hate that I had for myself. I mean, it started way back when my mother abandoned me when I was beaten by my mom’s boyfriend. My father abandoned me and not feeling worthy. Amberly Lago [00:31:41]: I mean, if my mom doesn’t want me, who would want me, Right? So these are things that start when we’re really, really young. Now, my mother, she married a man. I thought it was going to be awesome. Then the sexual abuse started. My mom didn’t leave, didn’t make me feel safe. She chose her disease over me, which I understand differently today. So how do we forgive those that have wronged us? Well, first of all, you are not saying that what they did was okay. You are not giving them permission for the action that they took on you, that harmed you. Amberly Lago [00:32:17]: What you are doing is you are forgiving and releasing the power that that person has over you, that act has over you. And for my mom, how did I forgive my mom that made all those decisions and not keeping her daughter safe? I have a daughter. I can’t imagine not showing up for my daughter. Right? But I had to look at my mom as a human being, not as my mom. What were the struggles that this woman, she had no worth. She had addiction to men. She had addiction to alcohol. She had a disease. Amberly Lago [00:33:01]: Did she love me? Yes. I know she loved me. If she really could make a choice, would she really have chosen those poor relationships and that alcohol over loving and keeping her daughter in a great life? No. She couldn’t make those decisions on her own. She couldn’t get sober. She tried. It didn’t work for her. She didn’t do the real work that it took. Amberly Lago [00:33:27]: So my mother has passed. Four years ago, she died from her disease. I forgave her after she died because I had to let it go. But I know she’s with me and I talked to her and we. And she’s shown me signs. She’s with me. But I have to let that pain and that. That resentment, I have to let it go because it’s only going to keep me stuck and continue those generational cycles that we talked about. Marci Hopkins [00:34:01]: Yeah. Wow. Yeah. And, you know, one thing that has really helped me to forgive and to heal is to pray for that person. You know, I recently had someone in a business with business it wasn’t with, you know, wasn’t family or anything, but somebody close to me in business that I found out really did some horrible things. Amberly Lago [00:34:31]: Horrible. Marci Hopkins [00:34:33]: And I have prayed for them every single day. And that might seem weird, some of you listening, like, how can you pray for a person who screwed you over out of a bunch of money and this and that. Well, I, too, like you just said, like, I know they obviously have some unhealed trauma, and it’s coming out in these ways, very destructive. But I just pray that they get the help that they need, that God comes into their life. And when you can pray for someone that way heals you as well. It’s a gift that you can give yourself. So thank you for sharing that. That it’s not saying that it’s okay, but that they don’t get free rent in your head anymore either. Marci Hopkins [00:35:19]: Once you forgive them, they don’t get that free rent in your head. So, you know, I love that you shared that too, and your book on forgiveness. And one of the things that I really love about your book, Chaos to Clarity, is that you have journal prompts in the back of the book, which really helps people to take action. And that’s gotta be hard. I know it’s like, oh, it’s not always easy to look, take a good, hard look at yourself. But when you can get radically honest with yourself, I feel like that’s the first step to any transformation. Not always easy. Sometimes it kicks your butt a little bit, but it will set you free. Marci Hopkins [00:36:01]: The truth will set you free. So you have your show. What are some of the. You’ve interviewed so many people, so many on your show, and I was so honored to get to be on your show. How is hearing other people’s stories shaped your own healing and your own perspective? Amberly Lago [00:36:21]: I just feel that I learn and grow through each person that comes on my show and shares their story. Marci Hopkins [00:36:29]: Right. Amberly Lago [00:36:29]: Because we are constantly evolving in this journey of healing ourselves. And just to be able to connect with that person at a vulnerable level, it just lights me up. Marci Hopkins [00:36:50]: And to know that you’re not alone and to be able to laugh at yourself with easy experiences that you may have been through your past, well, what would you say to someone who might be ashamed to share their story? Amberly Lago [00:37:06]: Well, again, I completely understand you being ashamed of sharing your story. I’ve been there. Been there. I mean, I’m 10 years in, and that’s why I’m sharing out loud today. It’s taken me a long time, but the thing is that one of the things that you just said, and it’s so true. Truthful is the truth will set you free. When I finally surrendered and admitted to myself and my husband that I had a drinking problem, I want to tell you, first of all, I felt like the weight came off. The weight of the world came off my shoulders. Amberly Lago [00:37:48]: I didn’t have to lie anymore. I didn’t have to try to figure out how I was going to drink anymore. I didn’t have to hide the next drink or, or whatever the case may be. Right? So I don’t know, whatever it is for you, maybe you’re hiding the Twinkie under the, under the mattress. Right? But it’s. Once you get that brutally honest with somebody that you trust and love, that’s where it, the, the healing starts. It’s slow, but it starts. So I. Amberly Lago [00:38:19]: I realize you’re going to have shame around whatever it is, and you think you’re the only one, but I’m going to tell you that your story is. And I don’t mean this in a mean way, it’s not special. There’s so many out there that have gone through it. What it is is that we can learn from each other. So if you start sharing your story, you start sharing your truth, you would be amazed at the people you’re going to help, even through your truth. And when you’re helping others through your truth, you are healing yourself. And, and, yeah. And I mean, it just keeps you stuck. Amberly Lago [00:38:59]: It keeps you stuck in the muck. Marci Hopkins [00:39:01]: It’s so true. It’s so true. Well, I want people to experience your book first hand. You also have a 30 day guide that you’re doing to help people get through the first 30 days of. Amberly Lago [00:39:17]: Yes. Marci Hopkins [00:39:18]: Healing after, you know, you’ve admitted, hey, I got a problem, I need to make a change. So what is the best way for people to listen to your show, grab your books, grab your 30 day healing guide, and just connect with you on social media? What’s the best way for people to do that? Amberly Lago [00:39:37]: I am wake up with Marcy across the board. So my website, social media, uh, my, my podcast is Wake up with Marcy. Catch me on YouTube, Spotify, iHeart, and then the 30 Day Companion. That’s a new book I’m writing that is gonna be coming out in April of 2026. Marci Hopkins [00:40:00]: Oh, okay. It’s April of 2026. Amberly Lago [00:40:03]: Okay. Marci Hopkins [00:40:04]: Yeah. Amberly Lago [00:40:04]: So Recovery Month and so it’s called Not Broken. Well, working title, I don’t know, it may change, but right now it’s not broken. A 30 day companion to your first 30 days of sobriety. I’ve just felt really called to write this book, share all that I’ve learned, help others to get educated. What’s happening in your body, how to create the change in your head and your body and do it in a safe way and just continue the conversation of like things we discuss and what worked for me. And yeah, and so just check out my website, Wake up with Marcy. I’ve got courses on there, public speaking. I’m very involved in a lot of motivational speaking gigs and I’m really excited. Amberly Lago [00:40:53]: I’m going to be emceeing. Have you heard of Shatterproof? The organization Shatterproof? Marci Hopkins [00:40:58]: No. Amberly Lago [00:40:59]: Okay. It’s an amazing one and check them out. So Shatterproof is an organization that was created by this gentleman, Gary Mendel. He lost his son, who was sober for 13 months to suicide because he felt so alone in his recovery and he didn’t feel like he fit anywhere. And so it’s not only right you can wanna end your life because you can’t get sober, but then when you’re young and you get sober and you feel like you just don’t fit in anywhere, right. So he’s made it his mission to educate, offer science based treatment, change policies and bash the stigma around this, this narrative and addiction. So I’m going to be emceeing two big walks, one in New York and one in la. So I’m super excited about it. Amberly Lago [00:41:53]: And there’s one in Dallas too. Marci Hopkins [00:41:56]: Oh, wow. Yeah. That out. Amberly Lago [00:41:59]: Yeah. So check them out. Really, really amazing. Thousands of people show up for, you know, whether you’re in recovery, you’ve lost someone in your family, you’re an advocate or you know, someone who’s supporting the cause. So it’s really, I’m very grateful to, to be involved with this, this organization. So Amberly, thank you so much for having me on. Oh, thank you. Amazing. Marci Hopkins [00:42:23]: Thank you for being on the show, thank you for writing this book and thank you for being a light in the world. And you guys, thank you so much for tuning in. You will be able to find all the links for Marcy in the show notes and if you something with this resonated with you and you have a friend you could share it with. Please share the show and let me know if you share it on your social media. Tag me at Amberly Lagomotivation when I see that it makes my. It just fills my heart. And I share it as well when I see that you have shared it. So thank you for tuning in until we see you again. Marci Hopkins [00:43:02]: Thank you so much. Bye.