Hey friends, grab your favorite cup of coffee or tea because this episode of The Amberly Lago Show is one that is going to speak directly to your soul! I had the honor of sitting down with the incredible Mairin Moore Cane, bestselling author of Rooted, Not Rushed, speaker, mentor, and someone whose story will stop you in your tracks and remind you of what you are truly made of.
Mairin spent 25 years hustling hard before her body finally said enough. She found herself bedridden at 90 pounds, battling gastroparesis and chronic illness, fighting to survive and searching for who she even was anymore. And from that dark, painful place, she built something extraordinary. She does not just talk about resilience. She has lived it and come out the other side with a message the world desperately needs right now.
Here are three powerful takeaways from our conversation.
Your Body Will Always Demand to Be Heard
Mairin ignored every signal her body was sending her for years. And eventually her body stopped asking and started demanding. What struck me most was when she described not recognizing herself anymore, not her body, not her identity, not her life. I know that feeling and I think so many of you do too. The invitation to slow down, get honest, and get still is always available to us. The longer we ignore it, the louder it gets. Your nervous system is not your enemy. It is your greatest truth teller.
You Do Not Have to Be Whole to Lead
This is one of the most powerful things Mairin said in our entire conversation and I want you to really let it land. She wrote Rooted, Not Rushed from journal entries made during her darkest moments, not from a place of having it all figured out, but from radical honesty and hard-won wisdom. Her Root, Realign, and Rise method was born not from a textbook but from the bathroom floor of her own life. You do not have to be healed to be helpful. You just have to be willing to show up!
Your Voice Is One of Your Greatest Assets
Mairin spent years shrinking, hiding behind other voices, and playing small. It was not until everything in her business collapsed and she found herself standing alone in a 10,000 square foot empty building that she finally found the courage to speak up and fight for herself. And she won! What she said about women’s voices stopped me cold: our softness is not a weakness. It is one of our most powerful tools. The calming, grounding quality of how we communicate is something the world needs more of, not less. Stop shrinking. Start speaking. Your message belongs in the room!
This episode is for every woman who has been told she was too much, every person knocked flat by chronic illness or loss, and every entrepreneur who has wondered if they have what it takes to keep going. Mairin is living proof that your hardest chapters are not the end of your story. They are the beginning of your most powerful one.
Tune in now and let this conversation remind you that being rooted is not about standing still. It is about growing deeper so you can rise higher!
About Mairin Moore Cane
Mairin Moore Cane is the bestselling author of Rooted, Not Rushed, a speaker, mentor, and community builder who helps women heal deeply and rise into their power without apology. After battling chronic illness that left her bedridden and rebuilding her life and business from the ground up, she now leads retreats, masterminds, and her podcast Root, Realign, and Rise for women ready to stop performing and start living with intention. Connect with Mairin at mairinmorecane.com or on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn at Mairin Moore Cane.
Connect with Mairin
Website: mairinmoorecane.com
Instagram: @mairinmoorecane
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Transcript:
Amberly Lago (00:00)
When you first started going, ooh, something’s not right. I’m starting to lose weight and I’m throwing up. What were you telling yourself?
Mairin Moore Cane (00:08)
My body started to atrophy. At one point I was using a cane and everything else. I couldn’t walk. It hit a really dark low. I didn’t know if I wanted to continue. There was a dark night and truly I was done. I could not go anymore and I really was. I was 90 pounds at about that point. I didn’t want them to see me give up. No matter what life struggles are, you’ve got to show your resilience and to give up. We really had to take a different step and life didn’t end. I, as a business learner, could not stop.
but I had to show up differently and I had to decide what that looked like.
Amberly Lago (00:40)
When did you go from surviving to truly thriving throughout the day?
Mairin Moore Cane (00:46)
The biggest thing, as much as most people will understand, when we’re going through something, they think, woe is me. And they don’t necessarily recognize the rooted moment in who we are at that time. We’re so busy thinking about who we were in our past or who we should be in our future or where our life is supposed to be necessarily. We have these assumptions that we can control things.
Amberly Lago (01:09)
What would you say to a woman who they feel like they’re scared to speak up?
Mairin Moore Cane (01:14)
I think that we as women have a gentle, soft voice, which actually can be a hindrance in certain ways, but it can also be one of our biggest assets because there’s a calming in it that most men don’t have. And I hate to say use it to your advantage, but absolutely use your voice.
Amberly Lago (01:31)
Hey there. Thank you so much for tuning in to the Amberlee Logo Show. I hope that you will grab your favorite cup of coffee or tea, take a deep breath and get ready for a powerful and soul nourishing conversation because I have the honor of sitting down with someone whose words and wisdom I feel like are a breath of fresh air in the world, especially now that I feel like just never stops moving. It’s this.
hustle, hustle and grind kind of mentality. have Marin Moore-Kane with us, y’all. She is a bestselling author. She’s a speaker. She’s a mentor who helps women slow down and, and men too, I guess, but you work with a lot of women and she does retreats and a mastermind and so many things, but to really heal deeply and rise into their power without apology. And she knows this.
from experience and that she tells all in her new book, I have it right here, ⁓ rooted, not rushed. And it’s healing, reclaiming and rising in a world that told you to shrink. And you know what? It is a beautiful reminder that your worth isn’t found in how fast you’re going ⁓ or how much you’re doing, but it’s found in how grounded in who you are. And so I am so excited to
Get ready for this conversation. So Marin, thank you so much for being on the show.
Mairin Moore Cane (03:01)
Such an honor to be here. Thanks for having me.
Amberly Lago (03:04)
⁓ yes. Well, I am super excited about your book. It just came out recently and it was an instant bestseller. So congratulations first and foremost on that. Time. Yeah. And you know, I really feel like in the world that we live in today, especially with social media, when things can look so perfect and look so easy and it seems like success should just be achieved very fast. It’s
Mairin Moore Cane (03:16)
Thank you, it’s been an exciting
Amberly Lago (03:33)
⁓ It’s not always that way. And so I would love for you to take us behind the scenes because also if you’re watching on this, this on YouTube, you can see how just gorgeous Marin is and just looks like a vibrant picture of health, but it wasn’t always that way. And I love learning from people.
who have actually been through the struggle and gotten through the other side. And I honestly think that’s one of the reasons why you and I connected so deeply. was because I was like, we get each other. Like we’ve had some serious health struggles. And so can you take us back to before the book, before you’re sitting here, before you’ve been speaking on stages and doing all these interviews and holding these retreats, what your life looked like before? Because I want
people to know like where you came from so they know that wow if she can get through hard times I can too.
Mairin Moore Cane (04:34)
Yeah, absolutely. ⁓ I will tell you in very long story short, as an entrepreneur, there’s always stories of struggle and resilience that you have to work through. In fact, I tell my children every day that get used to it because this is life. And the moment that you think you’ve got this one figured out, God and life has a way of stretching you further into that. ⁓ Going back to even when I was I graduated high school, I was supposed to go to college and I met my husband and we started a business together, which really was
totally unplanned. But that was about 26 years ago at this point. And we went on the the entrepreneur ride. We were in 34 states at one point. We’ve had our ups and downs through it all. And I have learned so much along the way. The biggest part of me that I’ve learned is just, you know, that life is a journey and you think you have it figured out and you don’t. But I was completely hustling for 25 years and
The, would say, I think one of the things that you and I connect with so much is that we’re go-getters and we just don’t settle for really anything in life, no matter what that means, whether that’s good, bad, easy, difficult, whatever. And so for me, I took all of those struggles and I just kept going through 25 years of it. The problem with that is, is when you don’t listen to your body, when you hustle so hard,
you have a way of bringing yourself out. And I didn’t recognize and understand what my body was telling me until it was almost too late. ⁓ And, you know, we’ve, we’ve been through struggles enough, financial management, growth. ⁓ There are just so many different kinds of struggles that I could talk probably this whole podcast about, but really all of those took a toll. And I, I kept ignoring them and saying, this is okay, this is okay. And then in 2020, it hit a point where I could no longer ignore that. And
I went into a very fast decline ⁓ and I’ve had celiac, which was really the first indicator of my chronic illness that I have now, which is gastroparesis and a few other comorbidities in it, but really it’s focused on the gastroparesis and the nervous system issue, which the nervous system, if you’re not listening to it, that’s exactly what will tell you what’s wrong. ⁓ And really I hit a point in 2020 where I started losing weight very fast.
was vomiting every day, I could not keep weight on. And it became to a point in about 21, 22 that found myself completely bedridden. I was 90 pounds, I was at risk of feeding tubes and I was deep in my chronic illness. ⁓ I really didn’t identify who I was anymore. I didn’t identify my life, my body, ⁓ everything. My body was just saying, you thought you had it figured out, now let’s figure it out a new way. And I didn’t know how to manage that.
⁓ I had to completely learn how to really go from the ground up and restart all over again, identifying who I was, what I wanted with my life, if that meant anything at all. Because at one point, all I was doing was sitting in bed and I was struggling trying to figure out what that meant for my life. Here I am a couple of years later and it’s truly just having to really listen to my body and start over from ground one and say, it’s okay.
Show me where we’re supposed to go as a body and really learn to work with it and through it.
Amberly Lago (07:59)
Yeah.
Well, I want, I want to go back to where you said, you know, you were pushing and pushing and pushing and your nervous system does tell you like, okay, it’s time to slow down. That, happens to me where I don’t want to slow down. I want to just keep going and I want to just grid it out. And then now if I don’t do that and I don’t listen to the pain from the complex regional pain syndrome,
It will, if I keep pushing through the pain, it will actually start to shut my brain down or it makes me get very nauseated and I can’t stop throwing up from the pain. And so I understand that feeling of wanting to keep pushing through. I think you and I are a lot alike in those ways and I feel like I’m hard headed and it’s taken me a lot to learn these things, but.
When you first started going, Ooh, something’s not right. I’m starting to lose weight and I’m throwing up. What, what were you telling yourself? Cause you know, the average person would be like, well, I’m not, well, I need to go to the doctor or maybe I need to take a, you know, take a day off of work. What were you thinking and what were you doing? What, when that first started happening? Well,
Mairin Moore Cane (09:18)
We were in an interesting time already. I had just gotten back from a trip. It was actually a personal development trip with a friend of mine. And we thought we would just get in a quick little short trip for the beginning of 2020, which we thought was a great start to a new year. And little did we know anyway that COVID was going to make different plans for us. But I found myself in an F3 tornado. I was literally, what, two blocks from it.
I kept hearing the sirens and I’d never been a part of anything like that. ⁓ And I kept, you know, seeing people acting normal and I kept thinking that it must be normal. But it wasn’t until afterwards that I realized that it was absolutely not normal. Nothing in my life at that point was normal. ⁓ And I think when I came home, just in general, we as entrepreneurs think that, you know, let’s keep going. Let’s, you know, you don’t stop. You can’t stop. You have so much to…
tend to so much to manage so much to continue forward. If you stop, then your business stops and you can’t function in that sense. And so in my brain, it was don’t stop, you got to keep going. And ⁓ it truly was, even with COVID quarantine, I was over here still. In fact, my girlfriends and I were talking about it the other day, just that what was wrong with us? Everybody else is at home, they’re in their jammies and they’re doing home projects and here I was over there for
you know, right, probably about the first two months before it really said you’re done. ⁓ I was starting new businesses, we were recording new things and I was still trying to plan for events because I also have an event planning company at that point and ⁓ I had to really decide after a couple months of growing up, well, this isn’t working. I can’t, I couldn’t and it went from waking up with it every day. ⁓
sitting on the bathroom floor all day and those points turned into panic attacks because what are you supposed to do with your life? And I was so, it, you know, I think any woman can identify with morning sickness and how miserable.
Amberly Lago (11:29)
Well, it is. It is awful. You know, I was talking to you about just the other day how that when I get in so much pain, it will make me nauseated and I start getting anxious because I’m like, I don’t want to throw up. I don’t want to throw up because if I start, I hope I can stop, you know? Yeah. And you’re like giving me tips and tricks of, well, try this, try that, you know? And I was like, okay, really? Okay. Let me try that. Let me try.
Mairin Moore Cane (11:57)
I mean, so you know, mean, you. That’s your world down. I think I am the most resilient person until you get me nauseated and then truly my life ends. And I say that, you know, and jokingly, but truly it feels that way. And my nervous system felt the same way too. It felt like my world was ending. My body was literally going through panic attacks while I’m on the floor. My heart’s hitting, tacking, brachycardia, trying to just manage through it.
Amberly Lago (11:59)
Literally, he is sh-
Mairin Moore Cane (12:24)
And they didn’t even identify for the first two years exactly what was going on other than, all right, we just got to find a tip and a trick to keep going. And so I literally was, I was still logging into my calls from bed because we were deemed essential through COVID in order to continue our business. So here I am logging in from the bathroom floor with my camera off, back in bed as much as I could, trying to stay as sober as possible, but with medications, you know, to, you know, get through the vomit you’re doing.
anything you can just to keep a clear head, which doesn’t really happen well. Not to mention the nutrients that I was getting rid of, which I became very chronically dehydrated and malnourished. ⁓ My body started to atrophy. At one point I was using a cane and everything else. I couldn’t walk. ⁓ It hit a really dark low. And there was a point where I decided there was a buffer. And I talk about it in my talks a lot because it stands out so much for me.
I didn’t know if I wanted to continue. There was a dark night and truly I was done. I could not go anymore and I really was. I was 90 pounds at about that point and I was begging on my phone, on the phone to my mom even, for multiple times, Mom, I don’t understand what’s going on. I don’t understand the purpose of this. I don’t understand why God’s doing this. I just wanted to be done. I didn’t know who I was. And I had to really sit in that dark moment of that night.
and decide, okay, why are you doing this? What are you doing this for? And it truly wasn’t for me. It was for my kids. I didn’t want them to see me give up no matter what life struggles are. You gotta show your resilience and to give up. If I did that, then my kids would think that that’s the way life is as well. So that truly got me through a lot of times. then about 2023, I decided, you know, with some
real faith and trust in what God had in store, I realized that you can’t control any of this. All you can do is manage through each and every day and be present with it and be entirely grateful for what you have and just go with it. And did that mean that life stopped? No. Did it mean that my business ended? No. In fact, it continued. There were times where, and we’re still struggling through, to be very frank with you, in that business, we’re still struggling to get back on our feet. But I will be honest with you, it also brought us through how to be
better leaders and better teams with our company. We had to really define who we were, why we were doing it, and really get really explicitly clear in the business that we were. ⁓ We really had to take a different step, but my life didn’t end. I, as a business owner, could not stop, but I had to show up differently, and I had to decide what that looked like.
Amberly Lago (15:14)
Well, how was it that, what was it that, was it just the thought that you had that helped you make the decision not to give up and keep going? Or was it prayer? Was it a friend? Was it somebody you called? What do you think was that first step that you took that enabled you to keep moving forward? Cause I know there’s probably a lot of people listening and some strong people out there that are really struggling and feel like
throwing in the towel. I mean, I’ve been there and so I wondered what’s something that somebody could do who’s really struggling, like maybe just on giving up on their business or something. What’s the first thing that somebody can do to not give up?
Mairin Moore Cane (16:02)
You know, I think like you had given all of these lists of things that we could have done. was all of the above. was willing to try anything and everything. I mean, to the point that I would sit there and, you know, we all come up with a word of the year resolution. That was for me every single day. What’s my word? What’s keeping me going today? And I would sit there because I didn’t have the energy to even get up. I could barely walk to my front door at that point that I had to decide if this is it.
what does it look like and to what fullest can I give every single day? And so sometimes it was just sitting in prayer. Sometimes it was reaching out to my mom. I’ll be honest with you and a lot of people will say that they identify with this is when you get sick, a lot of the people don’t understand it or they don’t know how to manage it with you. They don’t know what you’re going through. So it’s easier to go away. And I did, I lost a lot of that. I lost a lot of the people in my life that were important to me that way.
Interestingly enough, I’m now coming back around in certain ways and I’ve had to kind of boundary a few things, but I’ve also learned more about myself and what I needed in each and every single day through that. ⁓ I used to write lists of what my goal is, ⁓ who I was each day, what I wanted to identify like, all of it had to look very different for me. And I will tell you that each day it was different.
But it also is where I created what I call the now I use in my formatting of my talks, I call in my podcast is route, realign and rise because each day it was at my worst. All right, where am I sitting right now? What am I going to do with this? What am I carrying today that isn’t mine that I can let go just to survive this day? ⁓ What’s one small win? What can I do with that? And really just looking for the gratitude in each and every day.
realigning was identifying the anchor of everything that I was at that point, because I’m not just my business. I’m not even the person I used to be. So who am I now? And so a lot of it was almost having to rebuild. as silly as it sounded, I would literally write out the dream person of who I wanted to be from where I was in that perspective every single day. ⁓ Sometimes we go on Pinterest or whatever, and we would create boards or things like that as females.
you know, I think we’re kind of in a creative mindset more than maybe some males, maybe males have it a little bit differently, but for me specifically, it’s getting creative and it was really diving into what that looked like. And so I was always making vision boards from that. I was always writing things down that way and, know, keeping myself grounded and who I was not being in my performance at that point. And I had to be willing to accept what I couldn’t do each day and say, you did a good job.
You just got through enough today. ⁓ And finally, lastly, take three deep breaths and say, it’s okay. You’re here right now and that’s enough. That’s really all I could do.
Amberly Lago (19:08)
That’s beautiful. And ⁓ I love that you mentioned so much and talk about the creativity and keeping that holding that vision for yourself, because I think to keep the momentum going that it’s important to first know where you want to go. And so every day you were focused on this is not where I’m staying. I’m going here and you’re able to take the right steps to do that. But you, you said surviving a day.
And I know, have felt like just survive, I survived this day, especially going through so many surgery after surgery. was like, okay, I made it. I survived through that day. When did you go from surviving to truly thriving throughout the day?
Mairin Moore Cane (19:57)
Well, you know, it’s funny as I was hearing you talk, I actually wanted to mention something. The biggest thing, as much as most people will understand when we’re going through something, they think, whoa, is me. And they don’t necessarily recognize the rooted moment in who we are at that time. We’re so busy thinking about who we were in our past or who we should be in our future or where our life is supposed to be necessarily. We have these assumptions that we can control things. And I think that
biggest, the biggest gift I got in all of this and I say gift because I can recognize it now. It was so difficult at the time, but it truly is. That was my truth is that I had to find who I was in that moment and be willing to accept that. And when I was able to accept that, I was able to figure out how that looked like in the creativity portion or how that looked like in taking those next steps. Because until you do that, it’s really difficult to
define anything until you know who and what you are in those moments.
Amberly Lago (21:01)
that’s so important. think that really accepting where you are and who you are in the moment is the beginning of any transformation. And there are times that I think, man, I may not be where I want to be right now, but it’s a heck of a lot better than where I used to be. So I’m grateful for where I am, you know?
Mairin Moore Cane (21:19)
Truth
is the biggest gift that we can give ourselves, I think, yeah.
Amberly Lago (21:22)
Yeah. Taking a good hard look at ourselves, being radically honest for sure. It’s not easy for me. wasn’t. wanted to just keep putting and going.
Mairin Moore Cane (21:34)
It’s
true sometimes. Sometimes you don’t like what you’re looking at, but that’s okay too, because that’s how you build from there.
Amberly Lago (21:42)
Yeah. Well, what would you say somebody who feels like they’re in survival mode, like they’re just like every day, they just feel like, made it through another day. They wake up exhausted. They feel depleted. They’re on the brink of burnout or maybe they are burnout. What would you say to that person?
Mairin Moore Cane (22:01)
One,
good job getting through yesterday. Two, good job getting through today to where you’re at right there. ⁓ It’s not easy. Secondly, be gentle to yourself. And three, allow yourself to grow in it. Right now is an opportunity to find the strength in yourself. And sometimes that doesn’t sound like it’s something that you even want to do.
But if you can just show gratitude in the things that you have, sometimes it just ends up being a little bit clearer for yourself that way, just in itself, just by saying the little grill of who you were, who started from day one, probably didn’t imagine that they would be there, but look how far you’ve come in life. And this is just a part of that. And life is a gift. We don’t know how long, we don’t know what it’s gonna look like, but to be grateful for what we have. And I think that that’s the whole true meaning of life is to give that back.
and gratitude.
Amberly Lago (22:58)
Yeah, that’s so good. And yeah, you know, it’s the important things in life, right? Like I was on the phone ⁓ this morning with someone on my team and they’re so sweet. They had, they had switched. I gave them the log into my TikTok. So I was like, you know what? Yeah, maybe you could help me with TikTok because that’s like the last platform that I ever post on. I try to get Ruby to do it for me, but I’m like, okay.
I feel you. You know, I’m like, so anyway, I gave her my stuff and all of a sudden I look at my TikTok and it’s like, my name on TikTok has changed my to her name. Like she did something and it’s her name and my handle’s different. And so it’s all off. she was like, oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. And you can’t change it back. You can only it takes like a month before you can change your your handle on TikTok. And then
It’s a week before you can change your name on TikTok. And it’s like all the things that I have that are linked to TikTok no longer work because everything’s been changed. And at first I was kind of like, my gosh, I’m like, and I said, you know what I didn’t, mean, I wasn’t letting her know that I was breathing like that, but I was kind of in my head going, crap, what do I do? You know? And I was like, you know what? Don’t worry about it. I was like, it’s.
It’s social media and it’s not like a, you know, a worldly problem. And it’s not like people are binging my TikTok and just waiting for the next and wondering why it’s your name instead of mine. You know what I mean? And I’m like, and if I have people unfollow me, cause they think it’s somebody else now, then that happens. What can we do? You know, but it’s like, just remembering like what’s really important is and
I have, know, Ruby’s about to go to college and I’m counting down like the months that I have left with her. And I am just feeling like every moment I’m just like, yeah, you want me to take you to Target? Yes. What do you want to do? What do you know? And I have to remind myself what’s important by not like staying on my phone while I’m in the car with her or
while she’s wanting to talk to me and be on my phone. So I’m glad you brought that up because I think once we go through a hard time, it’s a really good reminder of what’s really important.
Mairin Moore Cane (25:31)
Yeah, I mean, I’m looking at the sign behind you even that says direct at the journey. That’s exactly what this entire message is, is that really sometimes it’s not even about us. Sometimes even the example of your TikTok, you know, I could turn around and say, what did you get out of it? As much as we had panic and the fact that it was our technology that’s out of control and that’s probably not the best for our brand. In reality, you got an opportunity to let your daughter take over in a way.
They gave you some grace in not being in that technology in itself, but you also give a quality time for you and your daughter to bond that you probably wouldn’t otherwise, and especially in such a short amount of time. So yes, it’s a very light example, but it really is just the example of when we go through things, sometimes we don’t understand why, sometimes we don’t understand what they’re for. And a lot of the times it’s not even for us. A lot of my message is you do not have to be whole to lead for a reason because
None of us are in this perfect, we’re not put together, we think that we can control everything and that is absolutely the most falsest statement I think that we could actually say in life. We are not in control, whether you call it God, the universe, we are simply living life and we are showing up in response to that. And sometimes that’s good, sometimes that’s bad, but it’s the joy through the journey.
Amberly Lago (26:52)
Yes, I love that. And it’s remembering to spark that joy for sure, because I don’t know, I have to remind myself not to take myself so serious. Life is about having some joy. meant to have joy.
Mairin Moore Cane (27:07)
I have a question for you though. What happened with your TikTok after that? Did it turn out to be great?
Amberly Lago (27:12)
⁓ no, no, no, no, no. And Ruby didn’t actually take over it. I begged her to take over. I had somebody on my team trying to take over and this just happened this morning where my.
Mairin Moore Cane (27:23)
Okay. Stay tuned for-
Amberly Lago (27:26)
gonna be somebody else’s name, but it’s so I’m not going to be posting there for a while, not until I get my name back. yeah, sure. But I’m hoping that Ruby will eventually do my TikTok. She’s, she’s so good at that kind of stuff, you know, and, you know, and she knows how to do it. And I’m like, I don’t really want to sit there and be on TikTok.
Mairin Moore Cane (27:50)
Well, she’s probably loving the opportunity that she gets to do something with her mom.
Amberly Lago (27:54)
Yeah. Yeah. And, ⁓ I’ll tell you one more thing real quick. So, ⁓ Johnny said something about, she wanted me to make her breakfast. And my husband said something about, know, you’re going to learn, you need to learn to cook for yourself and do your laundry. What are you going to do when mom’s not around? And she said, she’ll come visit me. said, yeah, that’s right.
That’s right. I told her I was going to move in with her. I don’t know. know some people get excited about when their kids are all gone and they’re empty nesters. I’m like, man, Ruby and I had so much fun together that I’m not looking forward to it, to be honest. As long as Nike. You best. Love it. Yes. Okay. So I want to get to this part where.
Mairin Moore Cane (28:39)
It’s in for the ride, right?
Amberly Lago (28:48)
I think so often one of the things I hear that women, mostly women, I’m sure there are plenty of men out there that have had this same experience, but most of the time it’s women that have come to me. And I’ve had this in my life too, where I’ve been told I was just too much. you know, in Texas they have something, it’s hide your crazy and be a lady. Like just, you know.
Sit there and look pretty, don’t say anything, know, shrink. Don’t stand up for yourself. It’s a man’s world, like all the things, you know? When did you notice a time in your life where you felt like you had to shrink? And when did you realize, I’m not gonna stay small anymore and I’m gonna use my voice?
Mairin Moore Cane (29:38)
I think that’s a whole life lesson for me. Started when I was younger, there was some abuse there that I still don’t like to talk about, but I’ve had to give grace and forgiveness and ⁓ I stayed quiet for far too long. That’s exactly where the book actually started. There was a moment in my entrepreneurship that, you you talk about Texas being a big boys club and it was. I was actually selling our contracts to an organization out there.
⁓ We’ll leave them nameless. But there was a time where it was myself and my husband and I, were the owners of the company and they insistently kept trying to put not my name on it, my husband’s name on it. And actually our VP who was not really an owner, but I love giving him the credibility until he decided to take it and run a little bit ⁓ selfishly with it himself. And that’s a whole other story, but.
There was a time where I hid behind all those male voices because I figured if you sit back and look pretty and you’re the polite one and you back up what the men say, then that’s where the strength would be. And unfortunately, it kind of slapped me in the face a little bit when we hit a rough spot in our business. In fact, it’s in the book that the vice president of our company actually decided for two years unbeknownst to us, he thought that
He could start his own and do it better. And he had recruited my entire company behind our back and took it. And one day he up and left and he backed the computer up and erased it and walked away. And we found this out when we got back from actually we were at an appointment for an opportunity for us to grow and work. And we came back to nothing. And so it really became a point where my husband had to look for another job just to survive and sustain us. And I.
stood in the empty building, at the point was 10,000 square feet of empty hollowness. And you could hear my echo every single day and I was the only one. But we built that business right back because one, we don’t stop. But when we brought that to the organization, they said, well, we only want to work with Jason because that’s the only experience they had had was with Jason’s voice, my husband. They didn’t have mine. So they had no idea what my capability was. And
So they tried to slap us with the lawsuit and let’s just say that got settled and we all went mutually our own ways. And we actually to this day actually still do a small amount of business with him, but not a lot. There’s a little bit of a respect issue there, but I regained my voice. I got an attorney and I said, this is not okay because I’m the one in this building every single day. And if you don’t have faith in me, then.
how do you think you’re going to even buy my contracts? How the hell am I supposed to fulfill a contract that you have with me? And so I had to really push back and find that voice. And I was shaking in my boots every day because for the first time I had to find that voice in me and not hide behind a man’s. And ⁓ I got my apology. We have built it back. And I’m grateful for every step of it. taught me a lot, but it was a scary time. That was the first time I had to find that voice.
Amberly Lago (32:58)
And what would you say to a woman who they feel like they’re scared to speak up or they’re scared and this could be whether it’s work related or in their marriage or even in any kind of business or it could be with a client or a friend and it’s a difficult conversation and they feel like they don’t want to use their voice because they don’t want to offend anyone or they don’t want to look, you know,
bitchy or whatever it’s called when a woman speaks up and uses her voice. You know, that’s what I’ve heard before. and I’ve even heard too, like if I ever, cause I didn’t hardly ever raise my voice. So when I do, it’s scary. it’s scary. Like I had a long fuse, when it’s up, whoo. Yeah. My family gets, Johnny says, don’t go Texas on me.
He knows, he knows.
Mairin Moore Cane (33:58)
call it the Irish in me. The Irish will come out every now and then. I don’t like to yell. ⁓ You know, for instance, where women, no matter who we are, whatever the situation is, is this is what I will say. And I think it goes back to whether you’re female or male on this perspective. It’s not necessarily the message sometimes. It’s how we deliver it. ⁓ I think that we as women have a gentle, soft voice, which actually can be a hindrance in certain ways, but it can also be one of our biggest assets because
There’s a calming in it that most men don’t have. And I hate to say use it to your advantage, but absolutely use your voice. I also think that we have one life to live. We’re not whole work. We’re not all perfect. So it’s not gonna sometimes always come out in a way that sounds perfect or looks perfect. But I will tell you that we all have messages in us and we all have authenticity in us that we all need to hear and see in each other. And I think the more that we can use that voice, the more that we help
those other people that were delivering that message to that probably need something in there. I do think there’s instances obviously of abuse that, you know, and things that we can’t control all the time and it is scary. And so sometimes it’s going to require a little bit more help of using other people’s voices in it as well. But I, I truly believe that showing up in the world is about helping other people and we all need it. We’re not, we weren’t born on this earth.
to be alone, we’re born to help each other through it. And I think that the more we can use that voice, however soft or loud or however we deliver it, we have to find the right delicate balance with, but it is absolutely necessary.
Amberly Lago (35:43)
Yeah. And Marin, you are such a good communicator and you’re so caring and so loving. And I mean, I get emotional just thinking about it, just because I’m so grateful for you. You, you just mean the world to me and, ⁓ you know, and just the way that you care about people and the way that you
Mairin Moore Cane (36:00)
I can get the feelings very mutual.
Amberly Lago (36:08)
deliver a message in the way that you speak and your voice is so soothing. So I’m sure if you did ever raise your voice and I saw the Irish, it would be scary.
But yeah, I mean, you’re just such a great communicator and you truly do. Like, I love having you in the Unstoppable Mastermind because you are such a giver and you’re such a collaborator and you are just so caring and supportive to every single woman in the group. You give so much and you give however you can. You’re just, you’re amazing.
And what role has community because you have your own community, have your, you do your own masterminds. And I think that’s important to share too, because I think it’s important, like you said, to not do it alone and have a community. And I mean, you know, like I, I have a mentor and I mentor people. have a sponsor and I have sponsees. I have a mastermind and I am a part of a mastermind, you know? And so.
You’re in my mastermind and it’s a safe place for you to be and grow and just continue to level up again and again and again, because that’s what we’re all doing, right? It’s just cutting you into level up. But you have your own masterminds as well. How has community been a ⁓ part of your healing and your growing? How has that played a role in your growing?
Mairin Moore Cane (37:51)
Thank you for all of that. think that’s very nice. ⁓ I think community is truly important no matter if you’re in a personal setting, a business setting. What is it they say? I’m trying to think of the percentage of loneliness really is a lot of the heartbreak of life right now. And ⁓ it’s where chronic illnesses happen. It’s where so much comes into play in our world right now.
And so community is very important. Community to me is everything. There were times at many multiple moments in my life where I needed women or I needed people in general. ⁓ We look for, you know, whether it be influencers, ⁓ mentors, our parents, ⁓ siblings even that show us how to lead. And leadership, let’s say this, isn’t just one person. ⁓ It takes a whole village because…
I could not do my business. I could not do my life. I could not do my family if it didn’t involve other people. So what I, what I really subscribe to is, is showing up for other people and really just letting the magic of what that looks like happen. were years and years even, gosh, I think I remember one of my first ones even, had had a, my first born, was 21 now, Connor, he was on my hip and I needed community. I felt very alone as a
as a mom and you know here I am running a business but it’s very different having people in business versus in your personal life and I’ve always looked for ways to you know whether it be events or to do things. Collaboration is huge and so I would create these events or opportunities for women to get together whether it be for a Mother’s Day party or you know a retreat at the beach or I’ve done ⁓ quarterly ⁓
quarterly masterminds, I’ve done so many different types and each year sometimes brings it a little different just because based off of what we all need in community and I don’t get totally ⁓ founded in what it should look like. It flexes every year because it’s not just about me, it’s about community. And so I think, yeah, absolutely, it’s not just one person in it, but it really takes the village in all of that.
Amberly Lago (40:12)
⁓ for sure. mean, and it’s finding the right community. It’s fine because there
Mairin Moore Cane (40:19)
and
protecting it when you have it, right?
Amberly Lago (40:22)
⁓ yes. That is, you know how important that is to me. Like I am so protective of my family. My family being like my real family, but I mean my mastermind. Absolutely.
Mairin Moore Cane (40:35)
Absolutely. Absolutely. pick up, you know, even in our mastermind, we pick up when there’s dead silence because everybody’s hustling or maybe you can feel a little bit of tension or energy because somebody has stress that’s going on in their life. You know, it’s not just about, and I say this, you know, for your mastermind and mine and all the others, it’s not just necessarily the work that you’re doing in the world.
It’s how you’re showing up with it. And sometimes it takes those people to remind you that. So that’s the one thing I love about your mastermind is the fact that I can log in and I know that there are people on each side of it who are going through something that’s of similar, but yet it may look different. We’re just all in the same space of trying to do the best we can in life.
Amberly Lago (41:17)
Yeah. And supporting each other. Like, Like genuinely with loving, caring hearts. And so, so yeah, well, I want to talk to you a little bit more about your book. ⁓ what is next? So you just got off of a big stage, which you looked amazing by the way. And Jen, who used to be in the mastermind, ⁓ last year, I guess it was last year, went to see you and said you were amazing. So what, what is next?
with the book. you just launched your book. You got off this big stage. You’re going to be on stage again in April for the Unstoppable Summit. ⁓ What’s next as far as your book?
Mairin Moore Cane (41:59)
be honest with you, when I wrote this book in the first place, it started from journal entries of being in my deep dark moments. And there were a lot of times that, like I said, I reached out to my mom, I didn’t have a lot of people to reach out to. And so really, the book was a way to give back to that for somebody who needed the friend that I didn’t have who could tell me some of the things or give me some of the tricks that got me through.
I gotta be honest with you, when I reached out to you and said, hey, Amberlee, how did you do your book? It was because I resonated with you, but I was clearly not in the mindset even of starting what has taken this entire amazing journey of a path down this road of a book and being on stages. None of my life has been planned this year, but ⁓ I feel in all honesty, I’m living in ⁓ God’s purpose for what’s happened for me and I’m.
I’m riding the wave right now and I’m loving every bit of it and appreciating every moment. ⁓ The book itself is, you know, I’m out there just promoting it for those who I find that may need it if they’re talking to me. Like, you know, I just was talking to somebody at the post office the other day about it and somebody was going through something and I said, you know, here’s my book. So there’s a lot of that. I actually am doing a podcast. I’m in recording proper, excuse me, I’m in recording right now and I’m getting to the point where we’ll
We’ll get it out there once it’s ready to go. That should probably be in late November, early December. And that’s called Root, Realign, and Rise. You can find it now. In fact, there was one, hey, know, this podcast down, we’ll be back. So you’ll find it on there, Spotify, Amazon, and all of the others. And, you know, I am really, found a lot of excitement and passion and being on the stage and sharing in the message that
this year has really taken me on and the journey that I’ve been learning in this entire process. will tell you, I’m certainly not whole with it. I’m certainly, you know, writing every bit of learning through it and sharing in that entire part of it and, and really, you know, allowing myself to kind of be a work in progress in front of everybody right now, to be really honest with you. I have an asthma.
Amberly Lago (44:11)
much. I just, have to say, look at how much you’ve accomplished even since we first met. I mean, look at just even your social media is completely transformed and you’re such a gifted writer. Like y’all got to follow, you got to follow her on Facebook, Instagram, all the links will be in, in the show notes because you are such a
I love reading your captions and you know what? I’m picky about what I like to read. Of course, I loved reading your book so much and felt so honored to get to read it and do the forward. And I just love reading your captions and that has even changed. And I love seeing you shine on, on stage. And I was just like, I told you the other day, I was like, you’ve got it, whatever that it factor is, you’ve got
it. And so I can’t wait to see all the amazing things that you’re going to be doing coming up soon and can’t wait to tune into your podcast as well. and I’m going to be a guest on your podcast.
Mairin Moore Cane (45:22)
I’m so excited to hear your story more. Yeah.
Amberly Lago (45:26)
I can’t wait. Well now, go ahead, go ahead.
Mairin Moore Cane (45:29)
Yeah,
I was just gonna say, know, none of this was easy. I think we all have little things that we enjoy and I think that’s where the talents start to really emerge for a lot of people for me. ⁓ Telling the story has been such a beautiful, it’s really given me a purpose to keep going. It’s really given me a way to thrive in my life. I’ve noticed my health is recovering a little bit more so because I’m just loving life right now.
and just appreciating every moment of it. But I like to write, but sometimes I think I write probably a little too much of my captions, you know, versus what some would say. But tapping into that source of what we love is really where it’s at, and that’s really where things really start to thrive, so yeah.
Amberly Lago (46:09)
I love home.
Yeah, it’s so I’m so glad you said that too, Marin, because I mean, just this morning I was on a call with a client and she said she was telling me, you know, I to have a difficult conversation. And I said, you know what, you’re going to feel difficult conversations can be hard. know I’ve got to have one today too, but it makes you feel so much better when you can be in alignment or as you say, rooted.
and who you are, you know? And I think I feel when I’m not in alignment with doing something, whether it be, you know, even a speaking event or I don’t know, a web, I don’t know, whatever it might be for work, I feel drained. I feel hired. I feel, I don’t feel as good. And so I’m so glad you said that because I do feel like when we are in alignment,
with our God-given vision and purpose in our values that we feel better in every way. We feel lighter. It’s like a weight lifted off of it.
Mairin Moore Cane (47:28)
Yeah, I think there’s a little bit of comfort in being uncomfortable when you know that it’s to grow you, when you know that there is purpose beyond that, if you can look into that for a reason. And so I absolutely, I don’t say put yourself in situations that are necessarily bad, but ways that stretch you and grow you standing on stage is telling my story has become much easier because I’m hearing and I’m seeing people who have said that it’s helped them. So absolutely.
Amberly Lago (47:55)
Well, your book is amazing and is helping so many for sure. Where is the best place for people to grab your book?
Mairin Moore Cane (48:04)
It’s on Amazon. can find it just under rooted not rushed and I’m sure you’ll have the link. You can also find me at marenmorecain.com and also on any of the socials, Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram at marenmorecain.
Amberly Lago (48:18)
Okay, and finally, one last thing. Finish this sentence for me. Being rooted means…
Mairin Moore Cane (48:27)
Being rooted means allowing yourself to grow in the hard places, knowing that there’s purpose, sometimes not for ourselves, but sometimes it’s for others, but in the deepest and best way to grow and really to fulfill life’s blessings and journeys of being in great gratitude.
Amberly Lago (48:44)
mic drop. That was so good. my gosh, that you’re amazing. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for being on the show and sharing your wisdom. Thank you for writing this book, Rooted Not Rushed, that I just love so much. And you guys can find all her links in the show notes. If you are out for a run or you’re driving or something, don’t worry about it. You can find it in the show notes.
Mairin Moore Cane (48:46)
Thank you.
Amberly Lago (49:12)
And you know what, take a screenshot, whether you’re listening on Apple or Spotify or watching on YouTube, take a screenshot and tag us both on Instagram, me at AmberleeLagoMotivation and Marin at MarinMoreCain. And again, you can find those links in the show notes, but I just appreciate you being here and tuning into the show. I know you could be listening to anything or doing anything else right now. And I just appreciate you being here.
And Marin, I appreciate you so much. I’m so grateful for you for sharing again. Thank you for being on and we will see y’all next week.
